The Shepherd's Bride

by Patricia Davids

  While the Amish did not allow telephones in their homes, Carl knew that Joe’s congregation allowed a shared telephone that was located centrally to several farms. “I’ll walk over with you when you go.”

  Was he being too bold? Hadn’t he convinced himself last night that he didn’t deserve her interest? Even so, he held his breath and waited for her answer.

  She smiled and nodded. “I would be glad of the company. Danki.”

  He grinned, giddy with relief. “I’m anxious to hear how he is doing, too.”

  The phone booth was a half mile from the end of the lane. To Carl’s knowledge, Joe had never used it. Carl had used it only once. A year ago, he had called the Englisch bakery where his sister Jenna worked to let her know that he was okay. He knew she would relay his message to their parents. Jenna begged him to come home, but he couldn’t face his family yet. Not until he believed he had earned God’s forgiveness. In a moment of weakness, he gave Jenna his address.

  She had been writing to him every week since that day. He had read the first two without answering them, but he couldn’t bear to read them after that. It was too great a reminder of his shame and his loss.

  He thought a lot about that phone call as he walked beside Lizzie. He missed his family just as Lizzie missed hers. Although he knew he might never see his home again, he wanted Lizzie to have the people she loved around her.

  It had been a long time since he’d given a thought to what someone else needed. He said, “The doctor told Joe that he was going to need extra help when he came home.”

  “I’ve been thinking about that. I reckon I should tell Katie Sutter that I won’t be able to work for her and that she should look for someone else.”

  “Actually, I was thinking that your sisters might be able to come help care for him.”

  She shook her head. “They don’t have the money to get here. I sent all that I have, but it is only enough for one of them. I don’t know if Clara will come without Greta and Betsy.”

  “Have you written to them about their grandfather?”

  “I haven’t. I don’t know how to explain what a mess I’ve made of things here.”

  “Perhaps knowing that you need help taking care of him will convince Clara to come.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that. You may be right.”

  “It happens sometimes.”

  She gave him a puzzled look. “What happens sometimes?”

  “Sometimes it happens that I’m right. I was making a joke, Lizzie.”

  She pressed her hand to her mouth and giggled. It was the cutest sound he’d ever heard. They arrived at the phone booth all too soon for him.

  He waited outside the door until she came out. “How is he?”

  “The nurse said he is doing very well except for a small fever. She said he is cranky, and he’s been complaining about the food.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. If he wasn’t complaining about something, I’d be really worried.”

  “She said to expect him to stay there for a week or so depending on how well he does with his physical therapy.”

  “I almost wish they would keep him longer.”

  “Why?”

  “Once the lambing season starts, I’m not going to have time to look after him. Knowing Joe, he’s going to want to be out helping.”

  She sighed. “We must be thankful that he is recovering. If he allows me to stay, I will take care of him while you take care of the lambs.”

  “I hate to see you give up a paying job that means so much to you.”

  “It’s my family that means a lot to me. Grandfather is part of my family even if he doesn’t want to be. I’ll stay until he’s fit, and then I will find a job. Clara’s wedding isn’t until the first week of May. I have time yet to earn the money my sisters will need to join me.”

  “Knowing that you’ll stay until Joe is mended takes a load off my mind.”

  She blushed and smiled sweetly. “I’m glad.”

  “What else did the nurse say?”

  She updated Carl on what was said as they walked home. He tried to slow the pace to make the trip last longer, but Lizzie wasn’t one to drag her feet. Was her haste because of the work she had yet to finish, or was it his presence that she was eager to escape?

  He couldn’t blame her if that was true. He didn’t belong in the company of an Amish maid. Most Amish people would frown on even this harmless activity because of his exclusion from their faith. Those who didn’t know that he had been placed in the Bann could criticize Lizzie for spending time alone with an outsider. Either way, he was putting Lizzie’s reputation at risk. Today, the community had rallied around her. He wanted it to stay that way. The less time he spent with her, the better it would be for her.

  He stopped walking. “I’ve got a ram out in the upper pasture that I need to check on. I noticed an abscess on his back when I sheared him.”

  She shot him a perplexed look. “But it’s almost suppertime. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

  “I’m not hungry. Go ahead and eat without me. Don’t look for me tomorrow, either. I’ve got a lot of lambing pens to get set up.”

  “You have to eat, Carl.”

  “I’ve got food at my place. It’s not as good as your cooking, but I’ll make do.”

  “I’m not going to let you go a whole day without a hot meal and that’s that.”

  “Okay, you can feed me supper tomorrow.” He started backing away.

  “Are you sure?” She sounded reluctant to see him go.

  That was all the more reason for him to leave, but he couldn’t believe how difficult it was to walk away. “I’m sure. Have a good night, Lizzie.”

  “Guten nacht, Carl.”

  He stopped a few feet away from her and turned back. “My place is only a quarter of a mile away if you need something.”

  She smiled softly. “I know.”

  “Right.” He gestured toward the pasture. “I should get going.”

  “Be careful around those rams. I have no idea how to run a sheep farm.”

  If anyone could do it, she could. “I don’t think it would take you long to learn.”

  * * *

  Although Lizzie’s thoughts and prayers frequently turned to her grandfather and to her sisters while she worked the next day, she was amazed at how often they strayed to Carl. A dozen times during the morning, she stopped what she was doing to look out the window in the hopes of catching a glimpse of him. Each time, she was disappointed.

  Was he avoiding her, or did he really have so much work to do that he couldn’t even stop in for a cup of coffee? She kept a pot warm on the stove just in case. In the early afternoon, she poured herself a cup, took one sip, grimaced and poured the rest down the drain. It was strong enough to float a horseshoe. She was glad that Carl hadn’t had a chance to sample it.

  She finally caught a glimpse of him and Duncan walking across the pasture toward his hut around six o’clock. She realized if she made another trip to the phone booth that their paths would pass close to each other in front of his home. That way, she could pretend she hadn’t set out to meet him deliberately.

  Quickly, she changed her stained apron for a clean one. She patted any stray hairs into place and went out the door, but she was doomed to disappointment. She didn’t meet Carl or Duncan on her walk. Had Carl seen her coming his way and changed directions?

  She continued along the path feeling let down and more disappointed than she should have been. When had she come to depend so heavily upon Carl’s presence to cheer her?

  Today, like yesterday, the sun shone brightly in the sky. The same flowers bloomed in the grass along the roadside and the trees pushed the same green leaves open. A lark sang a happy song from the fence off to one side. The sights, sounds and the smells of
spring were still all around her, but they seemed muted without Carl’s companionship.

  The realization troubled her.

  As soon as her grandfather was able to live on his own again, she would have to leave. She had grown far too fond of Carl in the short time that she’d known him. She couldn’t delude herself into thinking otherwise. Wasn’t she out here hoping that he would join her? Such feelings were a recipe for disaster, for both of them.

  When she reached the phone booth, her call to the hospital only added to her worries. The nurse she spoke to seemed reluctant to share much information. She did relay the fact that Joe still had a fever and that he was undergoing more tests.

  On the way back to the farmhouse, Lizzie picked up the mail. It was too soon to expect an answer from Mary, but Lizzie was disappointed anyway when there wasn’t anything for her.

  Her grandfather’s newspaper was there. She wondered if the hospital would supply him with a copy. Tomorrow, when she called again, she would ask. She thumbed through the rest of the mail. There were a few pieces addressed to her grandfather and a letter for Carl that caught her attention.

  She studied it briefly. Was it from the same person that had written to him last week? She hadn’t paid attention to the previous letter, so she had no way of knowing. The return address on the one she held was Reedville, Pennsylvania. Was that where he was from? The sender’s name was Jenna King.

  A sister or his mother? A wife? The block printed letters of the address had a childlike quality. His child perhaps? He could be married with a half dozen kinder for all she knew. It was an unsettling thought. The envelope in her hand sparked far more questions than answers about the man. She was curious to see what Carl would do with this letter.

  She didn’t see him until she rang the bell for supper that evening. He came in and washed up without looking at her. Was he still upset with her for causing Joe’s accident? She couldn’t think of anything else she had done to make him avoid her.

  Maybe he sensed her interest and wanted to stem it. She blushed at the thought.

  “Have you heard anything about Joe?” he asked.

  “I called the hospital again. They told me he was running a fever. I got the feeling the nurse wasn’t telling me everything.”

  He leaned a hip against the counter as he dried his hands. “You think Joe is worse than they are letting on?”

  “I don’t know what to think.”

  “What did the nurse say?”

  “That he is still running a fever and they are doing more tests.”

  “Maybe I should go see him.”

  “Would you? That would be wunderbar.”

  “If it will ease your mind, I’ll see if I can get a ride with Samuel Carter tomorrow. He’s a local English fellow who uses his van to drive Amish folks when they need to travel farther than a buggy can go.”

  She bit her lower lip, then said, “You must not do it as a favor to me.”

  “Right. No favors. Okay. It will ease my mind to see how he’s doing firsthand.”

  “Goot.” The small distinction seemed silly, but it relieved her conscience.

  The sound of a car pulling up outside and Duncan’s mad barking made them both glance outside. “Who is that?” she asked.

  “I have no idea.”

  Lizzie opened the door and saw Dr. Zook get out of a dark blue car. He wasn’t dressed in his white coat this evening. He was wearing a light gray sweater and a pair of faded blue jeans.

  He nodded to her. “Good evening, Miss Barkman. I thought you might like an update on Joe’s condition.”

  Lizzie stepped back from the door. “Of course. We were just talking about him. Please come in. Can I get you a cup of coffee? We were about to have supper. You are welcome to join us. Several of the local women have left desserts with us. I understand that Nettie Imhoff’s peach pie is quite good.”

  “It is. I’ve had it on several occasions, but I don’t need anything tonight, thank you. I can only stay for a few minutes. I wanted to let you know that your grandfather isn’t getting along as well as I had hoped. Unfortunately, there have been some complications.”

  Lizzie pressed a hand to her heart as fear made it thud painfully. “What type of complications?”

  “His blood work shows that he has an infection. We believe it’s in the surgical site.”

  “Is it serious?” Carl asked from the kitchen.

  The doctor turned to include Carl in the conversation. “It can be, but at this point it’s not life-threatening. It is, however, something we need to keep a close eye on. What this means is that Joe will have to remain in the hospital for at least another week of IV antibiotics. I’m sorry. I know this is not what you want to hear.”

  No, Lizzie had been hoping to hear that Joe would be home soon and up and around in no time.

  Carl held out his hand to the doctor. “We appreciate you stopping by in person to give us the news.”

  “It was on my way home from making rounds at the hospital. We’ll let you know if there’s any change in his condition. I also wanted to visit with you about his care when he does get to come home. He’s not going to be able to live alone for at least six weeks.”

  “Six weeks?” Her heart sank at the news. It was only six weeks until Clara’s wedding. She wouldn’t be able to get a job and make enough to pay Greta and Betsy’s way here.

  “Will that be a problem?” Dr. Zook asked.

  Lizzie raised her chin. “Nee, I’ll be here for as long as he needs me.”

  “And I’ll be close by,” Carl added.

  “I know the Amish take care of one another, but I’ve also heard that Joe is something of a recluse. The nurses at the hospital tell me he’s turned away all his visitors, including the bishop.”

  “He can be cantankerous,” Carl admitted.

  “That’s what worries me. I don’t want him trying to do things by himself too soon.”

  “I’ll see that he behaves. He’ll listen to me.” Carl’s tone reassured Lizzie and the young doctor.

  “Good. Joe’s caseworker will come to visit with you about his needs before he comes home. If you have any questions, feel free to stop by my office or give me a call.” With that, the young doctor nodded goodbye and went out the door.

  Lizzie pressed a hand to her forehead. “Daadi has to be all right. I’ve only just gotten to know him again. I can’t bear the thought of losing him.”

  Carl looked worried, too, but he said, “Joe is a tough old goat. He’s going to be fine. We have to believe that.”

  He was trying to reassure her and she was grateful for his effort. “You’re right. I’m borrowing trouble to worry about something I can’t change. All things are in God’s hands.”

  “I’m sorry that I can’t do more to ease your worries.” His tone was soft and filled with regret.

  “I appreciate that.” Lizzie looked away from the sympathy in his eyes. It was becoming much too easy to accept his kindness when she knew she shouldn’t.

  She indicated the packet of mail on the table. “Would you go through this and see what needs to be taken to Joe? There’s a letter for you, too.”

  “Thanks.” He picked up the bundle and leafed through it. He separated one letter, carried it to the stove and dropped it into the fire. She knew without asking that it was the one addressed to him.

  It was none of her business what Carl did with his correspondences, but she was still shocked. Her curiosity about him rose tenfold. Who was the woman who wrote to him, and why did he burn her letters?

  Chapter Nine

  After a hectic week, Lizzie expected a day of rest on Sunday, since there was no church to attend. Amish congregations gathered for worship every other week. The “off” Sunday, when there was no preaching service, was reserved for quiet reflectio
n, visiting and family time.

  At home, it would have been the day for reading quietly or perhaps going to visit a friend or neighbor. Because she and her sisters didn’t have the extended family so common among Amish communities, they seldom visited anyone but a few close neighbors. Her uncle wasn’t a popular man. It was rare that anyone came to visit them.

  The morning passed much as she expected, but a little before noon, Elam and Katie Sutter drove in. Sally Yoder sat in the back holding Jeremiah while Rachel leaned out the window with wide round eyes.

  Glad for the distraction that would prevent her constant worry about her sisters, Lizzie went out to greet them. Three people emerged from the back of the buggy. As she was being introduced to Levi and Sarah Beachy and Naomi’s daughter, Emma Troyer, several more buggies turned into the lane. Lizzie looked around for Carl, but he remained out of sight. The second buggy held the Lapp family, and the last vehicle belonged to a couple she hadn’t met. Faith introduced them to her as Joann and Roman Weaver.

  Joann, a plain woman with amazing green eyes, said, “I think I remember you. Didn’t you go fishing with your grandfather when you were little?”

  “Now that you mention it, I do remember going to a lake with him, but I remember throwing rocks into the water, not fishing. Are you the little girl who could skip stones so well?”

  Joann laughed. “I don’t know that I did it well, but I did it often, until I learned that it scared the fish away. I’m so happy to see you again. I feel like I have discovered a long-lost friend.”

  Her husband wore a sling on his left arm. “I believe you have. Just remember, I’m still your number-one fishing buddy.”

  “Like I could forget that.” The smile the couple shared made Lizzie wish that someone would smile at her that way.

  It was a silly thought. She never expected to be courted. She never wanted to be courted. So why would she long for such closeness with any man?

  “Newlyweds,” Sally whispered in Lizzie’s ear as she walked past. “They only have eyes for each other.”

  The children ran past her and greeted Duncan. Then they immediately went down to the barn to look at the sheep. The next time Lizzie glanced their way, she saw Carl was with them. He was holding Rachel and letting her pet one of the ewes. She squealed each time she touched the animal’s soft wool, making Carl laugh at her antics. Joann and Roman went down to visit with Carl. Were they friends of his? Did they know his history?