Once Upon a Witch: A Wicked Witches of the Midwest Fantasy Books 1-3

by Amanda M. Lee

“Yes. I thought I was dreaming at first.”

  That was beginning to be our mantra.

  “Are you alone in there?” Landon asked.

  “Yes.”

  Well, that was something at least. “And you’re sure there’s no door or way out?” I asked, focusing on Clove’s terrified face. “How did you get in there if there’s no door?”

  “I just woke up here,” Clove snapped. “How am I supposed to know?”

  “This really isn’t bringing out the best in any of us,” Thistle said.

  “We’re all tired … and scared,” I said. I blew out a frustrated sigh. “Clove, maybe we can find something to pad the ground here and you can jump.”

  “Like what?” Thistle asked.

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Tree branches?”

  “I am not jumping from this high up. I’ll break my neck.”

  “She’s not jumping,” Sam agreed. “There has to be a … trick … to end this fairy tale.”

  Clove tilted her head to the side, confused. “Fairy tale?”

  “We’ve been cursed into fairy tales, or childhood stories, whatever you prefer,” I said. “I woke up with three talking bears. Landon played footsies with a mermaid. Thistle rode a turtle. And Sam, well, he’s obviously Pinocchio – complete with a growing nose when he lies.”

  “Fairy tales, huh?” Clove glanced back into the room.

  “I wasn’t telling big lies,” Sam said. “In fact, I was mostly being sarcastic.”

  Clove ignored him. “Aunt Tillie cursed us into fairy tales?”

  “That’s the theory we’re running on right now,” I said. “Why?”

  “Oh, just, well … .” Clove leaned down, her face disappearing from view. When she returned to the window she had something gathered in her arms. She dropped it out of the window, a long sheet of something that looked like fabric falling against the tower wall. “I guess being in a fairy tale explains this.”

  “What is that?” Sam asked, confused.

  “It’s hair,” Thistle said.

  “Oh, crap,” I muttered. “She’s Rapunzel.”

  The black hair was so long it almost reached the ground. It was only a few feet short.

  “Huh,” Landon said. “Now there’s something you don’t see every day.”

  “What are we going to do?” Sam asked.

  “I have no idea,” I said. “Does anyone remember how Rapunzel got out of the tower in the story?”

  “I never got that story,” Thistle said. “It never made sense to me. Still … I think the prince climbs her hair into the tower to rescue her, right?”

  “How does that work?” I asked. “If the prince climbs her hair, won’t that strand both of them in the tower?”

  “Maybe the fairy tale will end if we just get someone up there with her,” Thistle said.

  I shrugged. It was worth a shot. “I don’t see where we have a lot of other options. Someone has to climb the tower and get to Clove.”

  Landon blew a loud raspberry. “I guess that means I’m climbing the tower.”

  Sam grabbed his arm. “You? Why are you going to climb the tower to save my girlfriend?”

  “Because I’m … stronger.”

  “You don’t know that,” Sam said. “I work out three times a week.”

  “I’m with the FBI,” Landon reminded him. “Saving people is what I do.”

  I was starting to think Aunt Tillie was right about his ego being a personality defect. I cleared my throat, but both men ignored me.

  “She’s my girlfriend,” Sam said. “If anyone is climbing that tower, it’s me.”

  “I thought we were on a timetable here,” Landon countered. “Shouldn’t the one who can climb up there fastest be the one to do it?”

  “She’s my girlfriend,” Sam said.

  “So?”

  “That means she’s my … princess.”

  Landon faltered, shifting a look in my direction. “Can you believe this?”

  Actually, I couldn’t. I was starting to get angry. “I agree with Sam,” I said. “These are fairy tales. She’s his girlfriend. That means they’re supposed to solve the story together.”

  “Are you angry with me?” Landon knit his eyebrows together, conflicted.

  “Why would I possibly be angry? That’s ridiculous. Of course I’m not angry.”

  “If you were Pinocchio, your nose would totally be growing right now,” Thistle said. “You’re obviously angry.”

  “Shut up, Thistle,” I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not … angry.” Hurt was more like it, but there was no way I was admitting that.

  “Does someone want to tell me what’s going on here?” Landon asked.

  “Well, if I had to guess, your princess has her nose out of joint because you’re trying to save another princess,” Thistle said, smirking. “Way to go, Prince Charming. Now you don’t have any princesses.”

  Landon shifted his gaze to me. “Is she right? Are you jealous?”

  “Of course not.” I averted my eyes and focused on my shoes.

  “Oh, this night just keeps getting better and better,” Landon grumbled, running his hand through his hair. He took a step back to clear a path to the tower for Sam. “Go nuts. Get your princess.”

  “Thanks so much for your permission,” Sam said. “It means the world to me.” He clapped his hand to his nose, frowning as it expanded again. “Seriously? This is just … crap.”

  “It’s a lesson to teach you to stop lying,” Landon said.

  “Shouldn’t you be paying attention to your princess?” Sam seethed. “It seems I’m not the only one having nose issues. Thistle was right. Bay’s nose is out of joint because you have to be everyone’s hero.”

  “I am not trying to be everyone’s hero,” Landon said. “I am trying to keep everyone together so we can get out of here safely.”

  Thistle sent Landon a sarcastic thumbs-up. “Good job.”

  “Shut up, Thistle.”

  “Is someone going to climb up here and get me?” Clove asked, her patience wearing thin. “I can’t stay up here much longer. I’m lonely.”

  “I’m coming,” Sam said, shuffling toward the tower wall. “Just … hold on.” He gripped a strand of Clove hair and tugged on it. “Does that hurt?”

  “I don’t even feel it,” Clove said.

  “That’s a relief,” Sam muttered. He tightened his hands around the hair, braced his foot against the tower, and started to climb. He moved slowly, taking special care with his foot placement and grip. The higher he got, the slower he moved, and he started to glance down at the ground with alarming frequency.

  “Are you afraid of heights?” Thistle asked.

  “Of course not,” Sam scoffed.

  Even from twenty feet beneath him we could see his nose twitch.

  “I hate this stupid fairy tale world,” Sam grumbled.

  He wasn’t the only one. After a few minutes of watching Sam, Landon slid his eyes in my direction. “Are you really jealous because I was going to climb up there to get Clove?”

  Was I? It seemed an irrational reaction. Still … . “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe it’s this place.”

  Landon slung an arm over my shoulders and pulled me closer, tucking me in close. “You know you’re my only princess, right? Man, there’s another sentence I never thought I’d say out loud.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I have no idea why I’m jealous. I can’t explain it. I just … am.”

  “You were right to say something,” Landon said. “This is Sam’s job.”

  I pursed my lips but remained silent. I could feel Thistle’s stare burning into me, and I didn’t want to have this discussion in front of her. As if reading my mind, Thistle shuffled a few feet away. “I’m going to check the back of the tower and make sure there are no surprises waiting for us there,” she said. “You two keep talking about your … issues.”

  “We don’t have issues,” I said.

  “You’
re having some serious issues right now,” Thistle said. “Don’t worry. I get it. If Marcus volunteered to be Clove’s prince I would be spitting nails right now.”

  I’d forgotten about Marcus. “Are you worried about him?”

  “Right after we get Clove out of here, we need to start looking for him,” Thistle said. “I’m not worried, but I am concerned.”

  “He’s our next priority,” I said.

  “Don’t worry,” Landon said. “We’ll find him. I promise.”

  “I know,” Thistle said. “I have … faith.”

  The second she said the words something happened. A sparkly mist enveloped her, descending on the pink dress. Within seconds the mist dissipated to reveal Thistle in her usual jeans and T-shirt. The look on her face was almost comical. She ran her hands up and down the shirt, a genuine smile on her face.

  “Thank the Goddess,” she said. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to be out of that dress!”

  “We’re all happy you’re out of that dress,” Landon said. “I guess trusting the turtle to get you across the pond wasn’t enough.”

  “You had to have faith at the same time,” I said. “There are lessons built into all fairy tales. We have to figure out what they are.”

  “Well, you two get started on that,” Thistle said. “I’m still going to check the area behind the tower. Maybe we’ll get lucky. Marcus could be waiting for me right over that hill.”

  I watched her go, relieved things were going well for one of us. When I shifted my attention back, I found Landon studying me. “What?” I felt a little self-conscious.

  “Nothing,” he said. “I just … I don’t want you to be upset.”

  “We’re trapped in a fairy tale world,” I said. “I don’t think I have a choice but to be upset.”

  “You can be upset with our circumstances, but I don’t want you angry with me,” Landon said. “You really are my one and only princess.”

  I scowled. “I know. I said I was sorry. I have no idea why I was so jealous. It was stupid.”

  “I think it’s this place,” Landon said. “It’s amplifying the bad parts of our personalities. The flaws, as Aunt Tillie would say. I think that’s part of the curse. If we all work together, we’d figure a way out of this too quickly. She needs us to waste as much time in here as possible. That’s what all the petty bickering is.”

  I hadn’t thought of that. “That would be like her,” I said. “That makes me feel a little better. I don’t generally think of myself as a jealous person – that whole Lila Stevens nonsense notwithstanding.”

  Landon grinned and leaned over to kiss my forehead. “You’re not the only one being affected. Aunt Tillie was right. I’m bossy and I yell. Apparently I also have a hero complex.”

  “I like your hero complex,” I said, resting my head lightly on his shoulder. “There’s comfort in finding normality in a surreal world like this.”

  “We need to try really hard not to argue,” Landon said. “I know I’m guilty of doing the opposite, but now that we know what’s going on we can’t let our emotions get the better of us. If we feel something coming on, we ... just need to take a step back and breathe.”

  “That’s easier said than done,” I said. “Sam is climbing Clove’s hair and his nose grows every time he says anything sarcastic. That’s pretty dangerous when you’re in our situation.”

  Landon chuckled. “I think that’s kind of funny.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Sam was lying when we first met him,” Landon said. “It’s as though it’s … karma … coming back.”

  “I thought we were over that,” I said. “Sam is a good man. He put himself in danger to protect me.”

  “I know,” Landon said. “I still find it funny.”

  “Is that another personality flaw?”

  Landon shrugged. “Maybe. I guess you’ll just have to keep an eye on me.”

  “Somehow I think I’m up to the challenge,” I said.

  “Somehow I think you’re right.” Landon gave me a light kiss. “Just out of curiosity, who was your favorite princess?”

  “That’s a weird question.”

  “Don’t all girls have a favorite princess?”

  “I never really identified with the princesses,” I said.

  “You didn’t like fairy tales?”

  “I guess I did,” I said. “I just never pictured myself wearing a crown and a fancy dress.”

  “Maybe that’s why you stayed in your regular clothes,” Landon mused.

  “I don’t think that’s the reason,” I said. “I just don’t think the dress was necessary for my story. We’ll have to wait and see.”

  “I guess,” Landon said. He shifted his gaze to the tower window. “He’s there.”

  I watched as Clove latched onto Sam’s shoulders and pulled him in through the window. Sam tumbled inside, taking Clove down to the floor and out of sight. They didn’t immediately return to the window.

  “What do you think they’re doing?” Landon asked.

  “Kissing.”

  “Maybe Clove is transforming,” Landon suggested. “Sam finished the task.”

  “They’re still in the tower,” I said. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”

  As if on cue, Sam and Clove reappeared in the window. “Now what?” Sam asked.

  That was a very good question. “I have no idea,” I said. “Now all we’ve accomplished is trapping both of you in the tower.”

  “Sam can always climb back down,” Landon said.

  “I’m not leaving Clove.”

  Another memory niggled the back of my brain. “We can cut Clove’s hair off,” I said. “Do it from up there. Use it like a rope. Tie it to something and you can both climb down.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Sam said. “I’ll see if I can find something to cut her hair.”

  “That is a good idea,” Landon said. “How did you come up with it?”

  “I didn’t,” I said. “Aunt Tillie did … twenty years ago.”

  “What?”

  “Ah-ha!”

  I jumped when Clove shouted. Instead of fear, though, her face resonated with rage. “You scared the bejeezus out of me.” She reached out and smacked someone. I was surprised when Thistle stepped into view.

  “How did you get up there?” Landon asked, surprised.

  “There’s a door on the back side of the tower,” Thistle said. “It looks as though it was hidden on this side.”

  “I don’t understand,” Sam said. “I thought I was supposed to save Clove. She’s my princess.”

  “Oh, crap, does this mean Thistle is my prince?” Clove looked horrified.

  “No one wants that,” Thistle said. “I still suggest cutting your hair before we go down the stairs. They’re narrow. You’ll trip. Plus, you can’t drag that hair through the woods.”

  “Fine,” Clove said. “Just don’t make it uneven .. and I don’t care what happens, I’m not kissing you. I’m not that kind of princess.”

  “Yes, because that’s exactly what I wanted. I wanted you to give me a big kiss. Stop wriggling! We’ll be down in a minute.”

  Every frog could be a prince. If you’re going to go around kissing them, though, you’re going to have a dirty mouth. Always carry mouthwash in your purse. Not only does it make your breath smell better, if you’re really in a pinch, you can throw it in someone’s eyes and burn them if they get mouthy.

  – Aunt Tillie’s Wonderful World of Stories to Make Little Girls Shut Up

  Seven

  “What happened to her dress?” I asked, looking Clove up and down once the three of them rejoined Landon and me on the ground. “Did it poof like yours did?”

  Thistle nodded. “The second I cut her hair the dress started dissolving.”

  “And what happened to Sam’s short shorts? I kind of miss them.”

  Sam scowled at me. “That’s not funny.”

  “I wish we had our cell phones so we could’ve t
aken pictures for Facebook,” Thistle said, grinning.

  “Sam’s outfit disappeared once he climbed through the window,” Clove said. “Everything went all sparkly and the next thing I knew he was in his normal clothes.”

  “I wonder why,” Thistle mused.

  “Because he fulfilled his fairy tale,” Landon said.

  “How?”

  “He was brave and true, just like the cricket told him to be,” Landon said. “He climbed up the tower without regard for his own safety. He cared only about getting to Clove.”

  “And you were going to steal my princess,” Sam grumbled.

  Landon shot him a look. “Don’t go there.”

  “What is he talking about?” Clove asked

  “Landon was going to climb up the tower for you because he thought he was stronger,” Sam said. “He stopped only because Bay was jealous.”

  “I was not jealous.”

  Thistle pressed her lips together.

  “I was not jealous,” I said.

  Landon rubbed my shoulder to soothe me. “Listen, we have to talk about a few things before we go anywhere else,” he said. “We figured out something while you guys were getting Clove out of the tower.”

  “Did you figure out that I’m as manly as you?” Sam asked.

  “Not even remotely,” Landon said, smirking.

  “We figured out that the curse is keying in on certain … personality traits,” I said. “Our personality faults, if you want to be more precise.”

  “Oh, crap,” Thistle said. “That’s why we’re arguing nonstop.”

  “You’ve been arguing nonstop?” Clove’s eyes widened. “That’s horrible.”

  “This is bad,” Thistle said. “This means Clove is going to be even more of a Pollyanna than usual, Bay is going to be more insecure than usual, Landon is going to be more bossy than usual and Sam is going to be … huh … what’s your biggest personality flaw?”

  “I don’t have one,” Sam said.

  “He’s got the ego thing with Landon,” I said.

  “Hey,” Landon said. “I thought we decided to call it a hero complex?”

  “Sorry, honey,” I said, smiling at him before rolling my eyes in Thistle’s direction. “This also means that you’re going to be more … bitchy … than usual. Can you say that word in a fairy tale land? Probably not. You’re going to be more whiny than usual.”