Once Upon a Witch: A Wicked Witches of the Midwest Fantasy Books 1-3

by Amanda M. Lee

  “Most definitely.” Mr. Leery’s smile was smug. “Then I was thinking we could take a nice walk after dinner, maybe check out that greenhouse. How does that sound?”

  “Oh, it sounds divine.” Mrs. Leery’s voice took on a breathy quality that made my skin itch.

  “Don’t go in that greenhouse,” Thistle warned. “That’s Aunt Tillie’s private spot. If she catches you in there … .”

  “What? She’ll want to join in?”

  That sounded more horrifying than the things Aunt Tillie really would do to the rambunctious couple. “Let’s just say you won’t like it and leave it at that,” I replied. “Maybe you should try doing it in your room. I’m just spitballing here, but that might be fun, too.”

  “That doesn’t sound fun at all,” Mrs. Leery said, her mouth tipping down at the corners. “But it’s a big inn. I’m sure we’ll find a private place to … bond.”

  “Yes, well … .” I pressed my eyes shut as I watched them go, my stomach tumbling. “I’m going to have nightmares.”

  “I think it’s kind of sweet,” Landon countered. “That’s how I see us in forty years.”

  I slid a sidelong look in his direction. “You think we’ll be doing it in a car in the middle of a parking lot?”

  “Sweetie, a man can dream whatever he wants to dream.” Landon poked my side before turning his full attention to the field at the back of the house. “What are we going to do about Hipster Man? I was considering going out there and trying to talk to him, but it’s cold and I don’t really want to yell.”

  “Plus, no one wants to be the schmuck talking to a flying hipster,” Thistle offered. “Maybe you should call Chief Terry. We can turn this into his problem.”

  “Chief Terry doesn’t want to deal with a flying man,” I pointed out. “He likes to pretend that he doesn’t know about our magic. Plus, well, he’ll blame us for this. You know I don’t like it when he yells.”

  “That’s because you’re a baby,” Thistle chided. “I’ll call him. How hard can it be? It’s not as if we caused this.”

  “That we know of,” Landon interjected. “There are four witches unaccounted for. We know none of you cast this spell. We don’t know the people inside didn’t do it.”

  He had a point, still … . “No. This has to be something else. I don’t think any of us did it. I think it’s the wishing well.”

  Landon arched a dubious eyebrow. “The wishing well? How do you figure that?”

  I shrugged. “You heard Mrs. Leery. She tossed a coin in the wishing well because she wanted to go back in time. Suddenly she’s having sex in a car and looking to jump her husband in the greenhouse. That can’t be a coincidence.”

  “Unless it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Landon countered. “Maybe she wished it and then made it happen. Women are wily that way.”

  “Women are wily that way?” I was fairly certain that was an insult. “You can’t possibly blame Mrs. Leery for this. Mr. Leery is the one who had to … you know … rise to the occasion. Why isn’t it his fault?”

  “Because everyone knows that men are merely pawns when it comes to women and their whims,” Landon replied, unruffled. “Women make us do bad things. It’s a fact … that I just made up.”

  I slapped his arm and shook my head. “We’ll talk about this later. We need to focus on the guy flying over the property right now. How do you suggest we get him down?”

  “Landon could shoot him,” Thistle suggested, pressing a button on her phone and shoving it in my direction. “Here. You talk to him.”

  “Who am I talking to?” Somehow I’d managed to lose track of the conversation.

  “Chief Terry.”

  I balked. “Why do I have to talk to Chief Terry?”

  “Because you’re his favorite and he never yells at you.” Thistle’s smile was impish when she locked gazes with Landon. “Where did we land on you shooting him out of the air?”

  “I’m not doing that,” Landon barked, annoyed. “That’s murder.”

  “I think you’re afraid that he really is a superhero and the bullet will bounce off of him and he’ll come after you,” Thistle challenged.

  “I can’t even talk to you when you say things like that.” Landon made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat as he planted his hands on his hips. “I knew we should’ve gone to bed for the entire afternoon.”

  “This still would be happening even if we went to bed,” I pointed out, my heart rolling as I waited for Chief Terry to pick up the other end of the call.

  “Yes, but we wouldn’t know about it because we’d be in bed.”

  “Hello?” Chief Terry sounded frustrated when he answered the phone. I swallowed hard to center myself before speaking.

  “It’s Bay.”

  “Hey, sweetheart, I can’t really talk right now,” Chief Terry said. “We have a … thing … going on downtown.”

  “Well, we kind of have a thing going on here, too,” I said. “We have a guy flying over the property … and he’s not using a plane.”

  Chief Terry was either so distracted he didn’t comprehend my words or so scattered he didn’t care. “Yeah, well I have a group of high schoolers trying to string up Nelson Lyons and burn him at the stake because they claim he’s a witch. I’m pretty sure my thing is bigger than your thing.”

  He had a point. “Um … Landon and I will be there in ten minutes. Where are you?”

  “I TOLD YOU this was wonky, but you didn’t listen to me,” I complained, scuffing my shoes against the pavement as Landon and I walked toward the diner a few minutes later. “You made jokes and thought it was funny that I would always have a special spot in his heart. Now look what’s happened!”

  “Calm down, Bay,” Landon urged, his voice tinged with weariness. The earlier delight at watching Hipster Man fly over the property dissipated pretty quickly once we hit his Explorer. “I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for all of this.”

  “You think there’s a rational explanation for that?” I pointed at the stack of kindling and branches in the middle of the town square. Someone was clearly readying for a bonfire. “Chief Terry said the other kids were trying to burn Nelson at the stake.”

  “Does that mean they think he’s a witch?”

  I shrugged. “I can’t see another reason to do it. I told you this would happen.”

  “You’re full of the ‘I told you sos’ tonight,” Landon grumbled. “It’s not a very attractive quality.”

  “Says the guy who could spend an entire week waxing poetic about bacon and how it changed his life,” I grumbled.

  “That’s a true story.”

  “Whatever.” I jerked open the diner door, widening my eyes when I saw the melee inside. Chief Terry stood in the center of a rowdy bunch of high school students, his arms stretched out to maintain an open spot for himself. Not all of the students were female, as I expected. “What’s going on?” I had to yell to be heard through the din.

  “Apparently the senior class believes Nelson is a witch,” Chief Terry replied, keeping his arm around Nelson’s neck as he shoved back one of the overzealous male students. “They want to rid Hemlock Cove of the scourge that is rampant teenage hormones. I’m considering letting them do it.”

  “This isn’t my fault.” Nelson looked pathetic cowering next to Chief Terry. “I have no idea what they’re talking about. I didn’t do anything.”

  “Shut your trap,” Chief Terry snapped, shaking his head. “I’m sure you’re at the center of this. I haven’t figured out how yet, but I’ll get there.”

  “We need to clear these kids out,” Landon suggested, cringing when one of the girls grabbed Chief Terry’s arm and tried to bite him. “The more they feed off each other, the more out of control this situation gets.”

  “Oh, thanks,” Chief Terry drawled. “I couldn’t have figured that out without you.”

  “Stow the sarcasm,” I ordered, moving toward the center of the room. “We need to approach this rationa
lly.”

  “Be careful, Bay,” Landon admonished, shooting a warning look at one of the male students when he moved to intercept me. “If you touch her I’ll pound your face in, kid.”

  “She’s a witch, too,” the boy shot back. “She probably gave Nelson his powers.”

  “I don’t have any powers,” Nelson whimpered, tears filling his eyes. “I don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m innocent.”

  “I don’t believe you,” Chief Terry challenged. His mood was worse than Landon’s when he realized that the inn wasn’t serving bacon for breakfast on a weekend day.

  “Okay, we need to clear these kids out before the mob mentality gets even worse and we’re overrun,” I said, climbing on top of the table and letting loose with a sharp whistle to get everyone’s attention. “We’re done here. You guys need to go home.”

  The teenagers stared at me for a moment, seemingly confused. The next thing I knew they returned to their fight, at least five of them reaching for Nelson at the same time to wrench him from Chief Terry’s grip.

  “Okay, that won’t work,” I muttered.

  “It was a nice try, sweetie,” Landon said, gesturing with his hands so I’d move closer to him. “Now get off the table. I don’t like you so exposed in the middle of a mob.”

  “I’m not done.”

  “Oh, you’re done. Hey!” Landon barreled to his right, grabbing one of the girls when she purposely swiped at my foot in an effort to tumble me off the table. “I’ll punch you, too. Don’t even think about attacking her.”

  “You can’t punch me,” the girl shot back. “I’m a minor.”

  “I don’t care. I’ll punch you and throw you in jail. I’ll enjoy it, too.”

  “Hey!” I bellowed loud enough to garner everyone’s attention, the diner falling into an eerie calm as I raised my hands. “Did you guys know that they’re giving away free doughnuts and hot chocolate at the high school right now? Yeah. If you leave at this exact second, they’ll probably have plenty for all of you.”

  “That’s not going to work,” Landon whined.

  To my surprise – and utter delight – the kids exchanged low whispers before shuffling toward the door. One of the boys – I think it was Shawn Gusterson – extended a warning finger and poked it in Nelson’s chest. “This isn’t over.”

  “It’s over,” Chief Terry growled, keeping Nelson under his arm until the last student left the diner.

  The second they were gone, Landon ran to the door and flipped the lock. I had no idea where the waitresses went, but I had a feeling they were hiding in the back.

  “Okay, that worked,” Landon conceded, shaking his head. “It shouldn’t have worked, but it did.”

  “That will teach you to doubt me.”

  “Oh, let it go, Bay. I didn’t believe you saw a flying man. I thought you dreamed it. Sue me.”

  “I’ll make you pay later. You don’t have to worry about that.” I turned my attention to Nelson. “Do you want to tell us what’s going on?”

  “I don’t know what’s going on,” Nelson replied, smoothing his rumpled and ripped shirt as he regained his senses. “I came in for a burger and fries, and the next thing I knew the other kids were jumping on me and accusing me of being a witch.”

  “I can vouch for that,” Chief Terry offered. “I was sitting at the counter having a slice of pie when things completely blew up out of nowhere. I have no idea how it happened.”

  “But you blamed me,” Nelson sniffed, crossing his arms over his scrawny chest.

  Chief Terry remained calm and unmoved. “That’s because you’re the central figure in all of the hate. You had to have something to do with it.”

  “I did not.”

  “You most certainly did.”

  “I did not!”

  “Okay, this is getting us nowhere.” I rubbed my forehead and sank into one of the open chairs at the table to my right. “Believe it or not, this isn’t the weirdest thing we’ve seen today.”

  “She’s not exaggerating,” Landon volunteered. “We’ve seen a lot of weird things.”

  “I think they all have to be connected,” I added.

  “But how?” Chief Terry challenged. “How can what happened here tonight be explained?”

  That was a very good question.

  Make a wish, Clove. If you’re going to wish for a better family, pick something else. I’ve wished for that every year, and all I get is more time with Aunt Tillie. Trust me, you don’t want that.

  – Thistle urging Clove to blow out the candles on her birthday cake

  Eight

  “Nelson, you must’ve done something.” I kept my voice even, void of recrimination, and hoped I looked friendly rather than accusatory when I locked gazes with the shaken teenager. “Think hard. What did they say to you before they attacked?”

  “They said I was a witch and they were going to make me burn.” Nelson was matter-of-fact. “I’m not a witch. Do you see a wart on my nose?”

  “That’s extremely stereotypical,” I chided, earning a stern look from Landon. He was right. Focusing on that right now probably wasn’t my best option. “They must’ve said something before that … and you shouldn’t judge people just because you don’t understand the true meaning behind a word.”

  “That will be enough of that,” Chief Terry warned, grabbing the chair next to me and turning it around so he could straddle it. “We need to figure this out, because it’s hardly the weirdest story I’ve heard all day.”

  “Did you see a dude in a hoodie fly?” Landon challenged. “How about two senior citizens having extremely vigorous car sex? Yeah, we’ve got you beat.”

  Chief Terry leveled his eyes on me. “Do I even want to know?”

  “He’s prone to dramatic meltdowns at odd times,” I replied. “He’s handsome, so I ignore it.”

  “Ha, ha.” Landon flicked my ear. “I’ll have you know that I wasn’t dramatic in the least before I started spending time with your family. Then, one night in a cornfield, I saw a bunch of women in matching tracksuits and my life was forever changed.”

  I couldn’t help being offended. “I was not wearing a tracksuit.”

  “I was shot and everything,” Landon added.

  “In your memory of that night was I wearing a tracksuit? That’s so … disappointing. Maybe I should upgrade my wardrobe.”

  Landon smirked as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know why people think I’m dramatic. You’re clearly making me a more balanced and sane individual.”

  “I hate spending time with you guys when you’re in this kind of mood,” Chief Terry complained. “It’s like I’m bearing witness to your verbal foreplay. It makes me feel filthy and dirty.”

  “Me too.” Landon winked before turning serious. “We’ve seen a few odd things today. What have you seen?”

  “Well, for starters, Marvin Hyland started his day by giving a hundred bucks to anyone he saw on the street,” Chief Terry offered. “I thought he’d flipped his lid – or was still drunk from last night, because you know how he is – but it turns out he came into some money and wants to literally spread the wealth.

  “Danielle Simmons has locked herself in her house and the neighbors swear up and down that some movie star is locked in there with her,” he continued. “Apparently they’ve been … um … spending quality time together. I knocked on the door, but no one answered, and I honestly doubt that a Hollywood star is locked in a house in Hemlock Cove.”

  “What movie star?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. That guy from Star Trek.”

  I brightened considerably. “She has William Shatner locked in her house? We totally need to stop there before heading back to the inn.”

  “Not that guy.” Chief Terry made a face. “It was one of the guys from the new Star Trek.”

  “Oh.” That was mildly disappointing. “I still might want to stop by, although I’m nowhere near as excited as I was a few seconds ago.”

 
“Do the thing with your hands again,” Landon prodded. “You know what that does to me.”

  “Don’t do anything gross,” Chief Terry ordered, shaking his head. “This entire town is falling apart. The last thing I need is you guys adding to the mayhem.”

  I pressed the heel of my hand to my forehead as I considered our options. The only lead we had was standing next to the table picking his nose when he thought no one was looking.

  “Nelson, I need you to run me through your last twenty-four hours,” I instructed, narrowing my eyes when I saw him stare at the booger on the end of his index finger. “If you eat that I’ll kick you in the nuts.”

  “I wasn’t going to eat it!” Nelson was mortified to be nearly caught in the act. “Why would you think that?”

  “You just looked … hungry.”

  “Gross.” Nelson made an exaggerated face.

  “Nelson, seriously, what have you done that’s out of your normal schedule over the past twenty-four hours?” I prodded. “There has to be something.”

  “There’s nothing,” Nelson snapped. “Other than that party in the woods last night, which I didn’t even stay for because I heard the football team mention the possibility of wedgies, there’s nothing.”

  “What party?” Chief Terry asked.

  “The kids got bored and partied in the woods on the other side of the festival grounds,” I supplied.

  “But … why? It’s cold.”

  “Yeah, but that spot stays warm because it’s close to the Laundromat and all of the dryer vents empty into that little corridor over on the other side of the new wishing well,” I supplied. “We used to do the same thing when it was cold when I was a teenager.”

  “Oh, my little party monster.” Landon ruffled my hair.

  “I didn’t know that.” Chief Terry was clearly conflicted. “Why didn’t I know that?”

  “I’m guessing it’s because most teenagers don’t admit to the local police chief when they’re going to illegally drink and fornicate in semi-public,” Landon offered.