Seductive One

by Susan Mallery

Angry? Did that begin to describe what had happened when Nic had finally confessed his feelings about Brenna to Emilio? Anger meant yelling and throwing things. Emilio had turned his back on Nic, exiling him from the only home he’d ever known.

  Brenna shivered. “I was young, I was scared, and in the end, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn my back on my family. I couldn’t walk away.”

  He’d been doing his best to avoid the past. Simply talking about it in vague terms allowed him to stay emotionally distant. Nic grabbed hold of his self-control with both hands and vowed to keep the barriers intact. But the first crack had already formed. It grew, ripping through years of trying to forget and pretending it didn’t matter.

  “You were seeing him,” Nic growled. “The entire time we were planning to go away together, you were making it with that asshole you married. Did you fuck us both on the same day or did you need a little space to clear your head?”

  Brenna sprang to her feet. Her face paled. “You know it wasn’t like that. You know I didn’t care about him the way I cared about you. I never slept with him.”

  “Not even after the wedding?”

  She turned away. “Talking about this was a mistake.”

  “And it’s all yours.”

  He waited to see if she would walk away-if she had the guts to finish what she’d started. As Brenna had never been one to enjoy confrontation about anything but making wine, he would bet on a quick escape.

  She surprised him by returning to the chair and sitting down. “I met Jeff one weekend when I was down in Los Angeles with Francesca. She and Todd were engaged. There was a big party at someone’s house. Jeff was the younger brother of one of Todd’s friends. I didn’t care about him, I didn’t even think about him again. All I wanted was to get home to you.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. The act was meant to look casual, but it was also instinctive protection. All these years later and he still didn’t want to know what had happened.

  “My parents didn’t know that you and I were seeing each other, so as far as they were concerned I didn’t have a boyfriend and I showed no interest in dating. They were worried and pressuring me. Francesca mentioned Jeff, which made them happy. They got off me, which meant I was more free to come see you. So when Jeff called to ask me out, I said yes because it made things easier.”

  Her mouth twisted. “I know what you’re thinking. That if I’d told them the truth, Jeff wouldn’t have been a part of my life. I know that now. At the time I just wanted to avoid the fight.”

  That wasn’t what he’d been thinking. Parts of the story were new, parts he’d figured out. Back then, he’d been aware she had a “cover” boyfriend. He’d pretended he didn’t care, even though he had. He’d pretended not to be hurt by her betrayal, even when it had cut him down to his soul.

  What the hell was wrong with him? Why did this old news claw at his gut? He told himself to get up and leave, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to hear, and he couldn’t stop listening.

  “I went out with him a few times.” She twisted her fingers together. “I just wanted to be with you. When Jeff went off to Europe with his family for some vacation they’d been planning for years, I was grateful to have him gone. I needed time to figure out what to do. I knew I was making a mess of things, but I still thought I could fix it all. Then you asked me to run away with you.”

  He smiled without humor. “I asked you to marry me. There’s a difference.”

  She looked scared and miserable. Funny how he would have thought he would find pleasure in her obvious discomfort, but he didn’t.

  “I wanted to say yes,” she told him. “Deep in my heart, I wanted it so much. I still remember your exact words. You said we’d be like Romeo and Juliet, but with a happy ending.”

  The last of the barrier crumbled to rubble as the past rushed in to surround him. He, too, recalled his exact words. He’d bought a ring, taken her to the beach, and at sunset had asked her to marry him. He’d been idealistic and in love. Whatever challenges the world wanted to offer, they would take on. If their families rejected them, they would start over. Together. Back then his future had been filled with the promise of loving Brenna.

  “You managed to resist the calling of your heart,” he said bitterly. “Smart girl. I made the mistake of following mine.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes, but she didn’t speak.

  Now it was Nic’s turn to stand. Energy poured through him, and he had nowhere to put it. He paced to the vats and back, then braced his hands on the back of his chair.

  “You should have told me you were just playing,” he said, his voice low and angry. “That none of it was ever real to you.”

  “It was,” she insisted. Tears spilled onto her cheeks and she brushed them away. “I was afraid. Is that so wrong? I was eighteen years old, and I was scared of what my parents and grandparents would do.”

  His gaze narrowed. “You mean they might make you choose?”

  She flinched visibly.

  Before she could say anything, he continued. “I told my grandfather. I told him I loved you and was going to marry you. He said he wouldn’t let that happen. That if I chose you, I would have to give up everything. My name, my connection with the family, the land, all of it. I chose you, Brenna. I packed my bags and I left. I was ready to go to the ends of the earth with you, and you turned me down. Just like that. I proposed and you dumped me.”

  She nodded. More tears ran down her face. She wiped at them. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Sorry?” He shouted the word. “You’re sorry? My grandfather did as he promised. He disowned me. I walked away with nothing, and you married Jeff.”

  Brenna wanted to run. The open doors beckoned her out into the night. If she could go far enough, fast enough, maybe she would forget. Maybe none of this would matter anymore. But she had to stay. She’d started this and it was her responsibility to see it through to the end. She owed Nic and maybe she owed herself as well.

  “I was heartbroken when I heard,” she told him. “I never thought Emilio would really send you away. I wanted to come after you.”

  He glared at her without speaking. She knew he was wondering why she hadn’t. Why she’d let him disappear from her life.

  Sometimes she asked herself the same questions. Those days and weeks were a blur in her memory. Pain was the only constant.

  Nic shook his head. “You weren’t willing to risk it. Not your family, not the winery. That’s why you didn’t come after me.”

  He spoke as if all the anger had drained out of him, leaving behind an empty man who had no energy for anything but resignation. When he released the back of the chair and settled on the seat, he looked weary.

  “So Jeff was there, waiting,” he said evenly.

  “I guess.” She rested her elbows on her thighs and dropped her head to her hands. “It’s all jumbled together. He came back from his trip and spent a lot of time at the house. Later I figured out that he thought we were rich. He must have been really disappointed to find out that my grandfather owned everything and kept very tight purse strings.”

  She rubbed her temples. Those days had been among the worst of her life. She’d missed Nic with every breath.

  “We were friends, nothing more,” she said. “I was shocked when he proposed, and refused. Then my parents found out and they told the Grands. Suddenly everyone but me thought marrying a guy entering medical school was a wonderful idea. You were gone, I was alone.” She swallowed and forced herself to raise her head and look at him. “I took the easy way out. Jeff seemed like the safe choice…”

  Nic’s contempt was as real as the structure of the building. It leaped across the space between them and chilled her bones until they were so brittle she thought they might crack. Words of protest rose to her lips. She wanted to remind him that she’d been barely eighteen, and not very experienced in the ways of the world. That until meeting him, she’d been a good daughter, always doing what was right, what was
expected. She wanted to say a lot of things, but knew they wouldn’t matter. Not anymore.

  Nic’s gaze slid away. He leaned back. “The hell of it is you weren’t willing to give up the winery for me, but you gave it up for him.”

  “I didn’t give it up. I lost it. Somewhere between my two or three jobs at a time to support us and the distance, I realized I couldn’t do it all. I never wanted things to turn out the way they did.”

  She squared her shoulders and glared at him. “You talk about all of this like you’re the only victim. The truth is we both lost something important. You paid by being exiled by your grandfather. I paid, too. I had a lousy marriage. Okay, I said yes and I walked down that aisle of my own free will. I took the easy way out and I lived to regret it. I lost ten years of living my dream. I didn’t have the children I always wanted. In the end, because I got married and went away, my grandfather no longer trusts me with the winery. You’re back and running Wild Sea. You have everything you’ve ever wanted. There must be some comfort knowing that in the end, you won.”

  Nic shifted on his chair and looked away. An emotion she couldn’t identify moved across his face, then was gone.

  “I spent eighteen months cut off from the only family I’d ever known,” he said. “When I came back, Emilio was a stranger to me. We never reconciled. I don’t consider that a victory.”

  Brenna didn’t doubt he’d been scared and angry when his grandfather had sent him away. Nic had gone to France and found work at different wineries there. He’d honed his skills, and when his grandfather had come looking for him, he’d been in a strong position to negotiate.

  “What about when he begged you to return?” she asked. “He was forced to admit he was wrong and he needed you. My grandfather would never have done that. He would have let me go without a second thought.”

  Nic’s mouth twisted. “Bullshit. Your grandmothers would have ganged up on him so fast, he would have been begging for mercy inside of a day. No Marcelli would ever let one of their own walk away. Family is everything to you people.”

  Brenna straightened. Something in Nic’s voice, something in the tone and the way he spoke the words, sparked memories. All those years ago he’d always wanted to talk about her family. He’d enjoyed hearing about celebrations and arguments and their loud, loving Sunday dinners together. She remembered thinking he’d looked almost hungry to hear the stories.

  Had he been living vicariously through her experiences? Had the Marcellis been the family he’d always wanted? Was his request to go to the engagement party a chance to thumb his nose at them, or had he wanted to see the one thing he’d never had?

  “I can’t decide if you love my family or hate them,” she said.

  Nic surprised her by saying, “Both.”

  “You’re serious?”

  He shrugged. “Hate is too strong a word. I resented their hold over you. I didn’t want you to choose them, but I always knew you would. Now it doesn’t matter.”

  Didn’t it? She couldn’t believe he’d let the past go. Neither of them had. There was too much energy, too much anger and hurt still alive.

  “I’m sorry,” she told him. “I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry for being immature, for letting you put yourself on the line and then turning my back on you. I’m sorry I chose Jeff and that I let what was really important get lost in my fear. I’m sorry you got sent away.”

  She could do her “sorry” list for fifteen minutes, but it would get boring, so she stopped.

  “Nic, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Me, either.”

  Maybe there wasn’t anything left to be spoken. Maybe there wasn’t anything left at all.

  “No,” she whispered involuntarily. “This can’t be all there is. There has to be more.”

  His eyes darkened. “You know what else there is.”

  She blinked, not sure what he meant, then she got it. Sex. The attraction that was always there, drawing them together, making them want and ache and…

  He stood and moved toward her. She rose as well, but only to back away. “No,” she whispered. “Not now. Not like this.”

  He shrugged. “So walk away.”

  He moved like a predator. Like a man willing to take what he wanted. She wasn’t afraid, not exactly. And damn it all to hell, she didn’t want to walk away.

  Awareness rippled along her spine. Her skin prickled. Logic dictated that this was a mistake. Making love right now, like this, would be really dumb. She would leave. Right this second.

  She drew in a deep breath to calm herself, but that turned out to be a mistake. The heady smells of fermentation reminded her of all the other times she and Nic had made love in this room. Ghosts of their passionate selves surrounded them. She felt more than heard their sighs of surrender.

  One of them moved closer. She wanted to say it was him, but it could have been her. His gaze settled on her mouth.

  “This is just a reaction to the emotionally intense conversation we just had,” she said desperately

  He nodded. “Or chemistry. We’ve always had chemistry.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  This time she was sure he was the one who moved, because she was too stunned to get her leg muscles to react. Without thinking, she licked her lower lip. His gaze sharpened, then narrowed.

  Her fingers itched to reach for the hem of her T-shirt and pull it off over her head. She wanted to be naked right this second. She wanted his hands everywhere on her body, his tongue in her mouth, and then she wanted him to take her hard and fast, right up against the wall.

  What she should do was back away. Or tell him no. Saying no would be really, really smart.

  She cleared her throat. “Do you think-”

  “No,” he said, cutting her off.

  “So shouldn’t we-”

  “Absolutely.”

  She had the feeling they were talking about different things.

  He touched her face with his fingers and she was lost.

  Maybe if he’d grabbed her, pulling her close and demanding, she might have been able to resist. Right now strong passion, strong anything, would be a little unsettling. But he didn’t demand or take or use. Instead he stroked her cheek with a light, gentle touch. His dark eyes smoldered with restrained passion, yet he moved as if he had all the time in the world. As if this moment was special and to be savored.

  Her eyes fluttered closed. In the darkness of not seeing, she depended on her other senses to tell her what was happening.

  She heard the low sound of his breathing, the brush of his shoes against the concrete floor as he stepped closer. She inhaled the scent of his body as it mingled and blended with the yeasty smell of the wine. She felt warm fingertips drifting down her cheek to her jaw and the sweep of his thumb across her throat.

  Her heartbeat sped up. Blood raced through her body. Heat bubbled. Electric anticipation grounded her in place as she waited for the inevitable. The first kiss. The beginning of their-

  His mouth pressed against hers. The warm, tender contact caught her unaware. She jumped slightly, even as her arms rose and closed around him. They pressed together, hard to soft-she wiggled her hips and shifted closer-very hard to soft. He settled his hands on her waist and his lips more firmly on hers. She tilted her head in a movement as familiar as breathing.

  A few minutes ago she’d wanted sex-fast and hot and out of control. But now that he was touching her, she didn’t want that anymore. She wanted to make love with Nic. Maybe it was all the emotions they’d dredged up with their conversation. Maybe it was days and weeks of spending time together. Maybe, given their past, it was simply inevitable.

  She surrendered herself to the moment and the man. When his tongue touched her bottom lip, she parted for him. Last time they’d plunged together, taking, wanting, needing. While the fire still burned within her, making her breasts ache and her thighs tremble, she wanted a slow seduction, not an explosion of uncontrollable need. Either Nic felt the same or he could read her
mind.

  Instead of sweeping inside her mouth to claim her, he slipped in with a gentle caress. They kissed leisurely, deeply, rediscovering favorite movements and old resurrected passions. She buried her fingers into the cool, silky strands of his thick hair. His hands moved from her waist to her hips, then slid together and drifted up her back. He circled his palms so he both soothed and excited. When he reached her shoulders, he stopped, then retreated to the middle of her back. Her body clenched in anticipation.

  So much the same…so much different, she thought hazily as Nic broke the kiss. Even before he pressed his mouth to her throat, she’d dropped her head back, exposing herself to him. As his hands came around to her breasts, she grabbed his upper arms. When his fingers grazed her hard nipples, she was already holding on so that when her knees gave out, she wouldn’t fall.

  Even so, the jolt of pleasure left her breathless. She ached there and between her legs. Heat spiraled through her belly, radiating in all directions. She felt her insides melting, as her most sensitive places became swollen and ready.

  “Look at me,” he said.

  Brenna opened her eyes, then blinked as if coming awake from a dream. Nic’s face was tight with need. As they stared at each other, a muscle twitched by his jaw. He looked exactly the same as he had ten minutes ago, save for the light of desire in his eyes. But as she watched, she would have sworn that parts of the younger man he’d been all those years ago were still visible.

  At some point she’d dropped her arms to her sides. Now he picked up one hand and brought it to his mouth. Still looking at her, he licked the center of her palm, then bit gently on the fleshy pad by her thumb.

  Goose bumps broke out all over. She shivered in both delight and anticipation. It was a game she knew well.

  When he dropped her hand, she reached for his. But instead of bringing it to her mouth, she turned it palm up. He wore a T-shirt. Starting just below the hem of his sleeve, she ran her nails down the length of his arm. She moved slowly, scratching with the lightest touch she could manage. When she reached his hand, she circled the palm.

  He managed to maintain complete control until she raised his hand and took his index finger in her mouth. As she closed her lips around the base and sucked, he flinched. When she circled his finger with her tongue, he groaned.