by C. J. Duggan
As soon as his grey eyes settled on me, he smiled.
“G’day, Chook.”
It was a sentiment and warmth that had me remembering the Dad of old. There was no malice or anger behind his words.
I hadn’t realised I had been holding my breath until that point, but as soon as he said my nickname I let all my defences down and quickly closed the distance between us. I threw my arms around him and burst into tears.
“Hey, hey, hey, what’s all this?” Dad rubbed my shoulders.
I pulled back, wiping my eyes as I tried to speak, but the words were just a series of nonsensical noises. I felt like a child who had just fallen over and was too wracked with shock and sorrow to explain what had happened.
“Amy, come on, love, sit down.” Dad sat on the edge of my bed and motioned for me to sit beside him. I did. He gently rubbed me on the back, his soft, grey eyes pained to see me upset – it made me want to cry even more. I knew how Dad didn’t deal with me or Mum crying at all and it was the one thing that gave me the strength to pull myself together before he joined me in sympathy. Dad was hopeless like that.
“What’s with all the waterworks? Did you miss your old man that much?” Dad tried for light and jokey, but it did little to raise anything more than a weak smile from me as I brushed away the tendrils of hair that had fallen from my ponytail.
“Dad, I don’t even know where to begin,” I said with a sniff.
Dad squeezed my hand. “How about at the beginning?”
***
It felt like I had talked forever as my dad sat and patiently listened to everything I unloaded. From the way I had come home to find the place in such a shocking state, to find the Onslow wasn’t even open most of the time under Matt’s management. I even told him how I had fallen through the balcony and how Sean had been an integral part in helping me. I told him how Chris and Adam had come to the call as had all of my friends and even Dad’s friends. Because we all loved the Onslow.
I told him about how we had all pulled together to bring it back to the way it should be, the way it was. I even told him about Melba, knowing she would be mad at me for doing so, but I was tired of secrets. With each confession, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
With every piece of information, as it all spilled out, I saw my dad’s face become grimmer and grimmer, the colour practically draining from his complexion.
That’s when I stopped, remembering how Dad shouldn’t be exposed to stress. I bit my lip and fell silent.
My dad was silent too, thoughtful as he rubbed his brow.
He sighed. “Is that all?”
“Isn’t that enough?” I asked.
Dad patted my knee. “It’s enough, Chook, it sure is enough.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I said, sniffing and wiping my bloodshot eyes.
My dad’s eyes met mine. “Don’t be sorry, Chook, I’m the one that’s sorry. I put too much trust in the wrong people for my own selfish reasons. I was too caught up thinking I was helping my family but all I did in the long run was hurt them.”
I squeezed Dad’s hand. “I don’t blame you, Dad. You’re a Henderson, remember? As I’ve been told a lot lately, we’re pig-headed and stubborn. You just have to learn to reach out for help when you need it – there’s no loss of pride in that.”
Dad looked at me, as if he was seeing me for the very first time. “You’ve done an incredible job. When your mother said she wanted to come up here I was braced for a lecture on how I had let the place go. But when I pulled up in that drive …”
“The newly re-stoned drive,” I added.
Dad smiled. “The newly re-stoned drive,” he corrected, “I thought I was dreaming. I haven’t seen this place sparkle since my grandfather owned it. Your mother didn’t understand my emotion but as I walked in the front bar and saw the shine on the windows, the gloss of the bar … it felt like the days of old.” He shook his head. “It was magic, Amy.”
I smiled, thinking how I would have loved to have seen his reaction.
“Furthermore …” Dad stood. “I think it’s safe to say you saved my marriage. One look at the apartment or the downstairs kitchen would have earned me divorce papers.” He laughed.
“Yeah, well, it’s not you Mum’s angry with,” I said.
“Leave it to me, Chook; she just needs to be set straight on a few home truths first. And that’s up to me to do. I’ve been keeping too many secrets and that can’t be too good for the old ticker.”
“It seems like we are on an even keel when it comes to keeping secrets,” I mused.
“Well, how about we agree to an open-book policy from now on, hey?”
“Deal.” I smiled. My heart swelled with hope, the way Dad had described the Onslow as magic. Every ounce of blood, sweat and tears I had poured into this place, I couldn’t have been more proud of what we had achieved. What I had achieved.
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, too.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Mum and Dad had retired to their apartment for the afternoon.
With my lunch plans cancelled it gave me a chance to savour my thoughts on what exactly had unravelled today. Walking through the restaurant, I waved at Melba, who smiled from across the dining room as she set a table with cutlery.
I froze. A new-found dread swept over me. She didn’t know.
I casually stepped into the main bar.
“Chris,” I whispered.
The cool room door flew open. Chris carried a slab out to the main bar and I flapped my arms about, waving him over dramatically.
He placed the slab on the bar. “What?” He frowned at me as he broke the plastic open.
“Has anyone told Melba that Dad is back?”
Chris froze mid-unpack, his eyes locking with mine.
My shoulders sagged. “Oh, shit!”
Without another word, Chris and I hightailed it towards the restaurant, but just as we were about to enter, Chris grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
We were too late.
The sound of muffled voices filtered through from beyond the divider. Chris stepped past me and peered through the crack of the partition.
“What’s going on?” I whispered. After a moment I pushed past Chris to see for myself. There was Dad, standing in front of a very unhappy Melba. He had no doubt come down to grab a drink or something and they had probably given each other the fright of their lives.
Chris and I stood back, grimacing at each other.
“Just as well our lunch was cancelled,” I said.
“Better leave them to it,” Chris said as we slowly walked back to the main bar.
I wanted to stay and spy on them but I thought better of it.
I hadn’t even had a chance to get Chris’s version of what had happened when Mum and Dad had first walked through the door. I was suddenly oh, so grateful that I hadn’t been working this afternoon … and then my mind switched back to what I had been doing instead. I had been making out with Sean Murphy. I was glad I hadn’t been here, for once. I must thank Tammy big time for her initiative.
The bar door was flung open and a familiar chorus of voices trailed into the main bar. Adam, Ellie, Toby, Tess, Stan, and Ringer all piled in, sun-kissed and damp from their morning spent at MacLean’s Beach.
“There she is,” said Toby.
“Amy, where have you been? I thought you were coming to MacLean’s?” Tess asked, her eyes soft with concern.
“Sorry, I got a bit sidetracked.”
I could have told them that I had gone to Sean’s instead, followed by a heavy make-out session since that’s what had had me truly distracted … but I decided to skip that part.
I leaned in, lowering my voice. “Dad’s back.”
The stunned silence was contagious; it almost made me laugh, especially as Ringer slowly looked up to the ceiling as if expecting the vision of my father to appear from his apartment.
“Holy shit,” Adam sai
d. “They’re early.”
“Did he say anything?” Ellie asked.
“Well, lunch is cancelled.”
“Yeah, we got that message,” said Stan, holding up his phone.
“Well, I told Dad everything and he was really good about it, but as far as Mum goes … I’m going to leave it for a day or two, let them settle in. At a guess, I think everything seems to be okay.” I breathed out.
“Are they still going to put the Onslow on the market?” Toby asked in all seriousness.
I looked expectantly at Chris, who only shrugged in response.
“I haven’t touched on that yet, but I am pretty hopeful. Dad was blown away by what we’ve done so I think it will be okay.”
“Well, that’s cause for a drink,” announced Ringer as he moved towards the bar. All weary, sullen faces soon melted into old, familiar smiles as I rounded the bar to help out Chris and everyone lined up for drinks.
Just as the trash talk began about who had stacked it on the lake and who was the champion waterskiier, Toby’s mobile rang.
“Sean! What’s up, mate?”
I stiffened. My eyes instantly flew to Toby at the mention of Sean’s name.
“Yeah, no, you’re right, there was a change of plans; we’re not having lunch now.”
My concentration faltered as I caught Tess eyeing me as she thoughtfully chewed on the straw of her drink. I quickly busied myself by filling up a pot of beer for Stan.
“So, a slab of VB? Yeah, no worries, fix me up later. Do you want anything else? All right, no dramas. See you tonight.” Toby pressed ‘End’, tucking his mobile back in his pocket.
“Drink orders from our gracious host,” Toby said.
“You guys coming?” Ellie asked Chris and I.
“Shouldn’t be a late one here – we’ll be there.” Chris said.
It was the first time Chris had ever spoken for me as an attendee. I was impressed – maybe things were finally changing.
“Don’t go thinking you can write yourself off tonight just because your mum and dad are home to hold the fort, though,” Chris said to me in all seriousness.
I knew it had been too good to be true. Chris always was the big brother I never had. Or ever wanted.
***
As our friends drank, Chris and I kept an ear out to the conversation in the dining room. We all listened, waited, until we were certain Dad had gone back up to the apartment. As soon as we heard the heavy-footed steps stomp up the stairs, everyone rushed towards the restaurant, elbowing and nudging each other out of the way, fighting for pole position to see what was going on. Chris cut them off at the pass, motioning for everyone to cool it as he pressed his finger to his lips for silence. He then motioned me forward and pushed me through the partition. I stumbled into the restaurant … Real smooth.
Melba had her back to me as she flicked a tablecloth out over a table. The sign that she was still in the building was surely a good one. I tentatively crept towards her, wary, extra nervous, since I had an audience.
I cleared my throat and Melba paused briefly before continuing what she was doing.
“You can tell them all to come in if they want,” she said. “Herd of elephants thundering around. Honestly, I could have heard you lot all the way from Perry.”
I turned to glare at the partition that slowly peeled open as they stepped sheepishly into the restaurant. Chris came and stood beside me.
I shook my head at him. “Remind me never to do a bank job with you lot.”
Chris just shrugged his shoulders.
“Everything okay, Melbs?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” She moved to the next table and flapped the tablecloth in the air before spreading it evenly across the wood.
“So, you and Dad …”
“He is as pig-headed and self-centred as ever,” she bit out.
Oh dear, this is bad.
Her sharp eyes narrowed on me before briefly softening. “And never in my life have I ever seen that man admit he was wrong or say he was sorry.”
My shoulders slumped. She was right: he was as stubborn as a mule when it came to admitting defeat; maybe there was something in people saying I was my father’s daughter.
“Never in all my life,” she said, “but today … he did both.” Her eyes had a light sheen to them.
Chris and I looked at each other as if we had both mistaken what Melba had just said.
“I don’t know what’s happened to that man since he’s been gone – detoxing, health scare … maybe seeing this place brought back to life, who knows? But any man who knows when he’s wrong and says he’s wrong, well, that’s the kind of man I want to work for.”
“Dad apologised?” A smile broadened across my face. “So you’re staying?” I tried not to get too overwhelmed by the possibility.
Melba suppressed her own smile as she continued to work. “Try to get rid of me.”
We all grinned like fools, relieved that whatever had been exchanged between Dad and Melba was a means to a peaceful resolution. Maybe Dad had changed, and if this was a sample of what the new, improved Dad might be like, then I approved.
In all the confusion, no one had thought to relay to the McGees that our lunch had been cancelled, but in true good-natured spirit they soldiered on anyway and worked instead on surprise feeding Mum and Dad with samples of the new menu. A none-too-subtle work of genius on their part to show my parents how well the kitchen was functioning. Of course, the McGees weren’t going to be able to run things forever, but that was where Melba came in. She had spoken of a lady and daughter she’d met through the local Rotary Club who were looking for kitchen work. A shy, single mum of five who had worked as a shearer’s cook and in RSL clubs around the state; and her daughter Penny was sixteen and looking for some part-time work around school. Melba had scheduled to give them a trial next weekend, but she said they were keen to be trialled mid-week.
It was all coming together: Max was working out behind the bar, and judging from the polished plates that came down from upstairs, it seemed Mum and Dad approved of the menu.
Mid-afternoon I crept up the stairs towards my room, thinking I would just let Mum and Dad be. Everyone had gone home and I wanted to take a moment for myself in all the chaos that had unfolded in such a short amount of time – nearly drowning, lake house tour, a hot pash with Sean Murphy, Mum and Dad’s unexpected arrival and teary confession. I was exhausted. I’d thought this was just going to be a night like any other.
I crept past the apartment and closed my door behind me, leaning against it with a sigh. Now Mum and Dad were home it almost felt like a weight had been lifted, like I could go back to being a young person again and enjoy the summer like I was supposed to have been doing. Sean’s Onslow Tigers polo shirt lay crumpled on my bed where I had thrown it earlier as I had rushed to get changed. I picked it up, tracing the embroidered lines of ‘Murphy’ across the back where it would display bold and proud across his broad shoulders.
A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I lifted the jersey to my face and inhaled the fabric; it was crisp and clean. I was disappointed because it didn’t smell like him. Sean’s cologne was always intoxicatingly sharp and musky. Not that I had never wanted to admit he smelled so amazing.
There were a lot of things I didn’t want to admit about Sean Murphy. About how my heart rate would spike when he walked into a room; how, even though he absolutely infuriated me, I got such a thrill whenever he was near. I didn’t want to admit the comfort I took from his presence, and in his arms, at times when it meant nothing more than just that: being my rock. And he always was – without ever asking, he was there. I had let down my barriers, new feelings flooded me, but there was still an overriding emotion that I couldn’t shake.
Fear.
Everything was panning out so smoothly, but what if what had happened today with Sean was simply what happens with Sean?
He kisses a girl and then moves on, no strings attached, just a bit
of fun. I had seen it time and time again as he had left the pub with a different girl each night, a trail of lovesick, zombie-like girls clawing at his heels, pawing after him.
I didn’t want to be one of those girls, deliberately trying to catch his attention, hoping against hope that he would find it in his heart to so much as smile my way or say hello.
Had kissing Sean been a huge mistake? Would it change the relationship we had with one another? He had asked me to go to his place tonight with the others … but what if it was awkward? I couldn’t bear the thought. Through all my denial over the past few weeks, there was one thing that had become clearer than anything else.
I needed Sean Murphy.
I needed him around me like he was an integral part of my body; without him I couldn’t function. He kept me sane by driving me insane and it wasn’t until I was faced with the thought of that changing that it began to worry me – really worry me. I was afraid of what faced me tonight – I didn’t know what his agenda was but I had my own, and it was clear. I loved the way he kissed me and I wanted to do it again.
Chapter Forty-Six
Chris was working Max through the quieter shift into lock-up and he was proving to be a real asset.
He was fast, efficient and ready to try a mid-week shift on his own – it wasn’t like any one of us would be far if there was an emergency. Still, I could see the pained uncertainty in Chris as he trained Max to close. He found it difficult to let go of the reins and delicate tasks, the little control freak, unless it was to me. Then, he was more than happy to boss me around, and he took a particular pleasure in telling Adam what to do, too.
At some point, I must have drifted off to sleep, splayed across my bed with Sean’s shirt folded into a makeshift pillow. I dreamed about turning up at the lake house for the gathering only for him to completely ignore me. Then, I followed him around like a lost puppy, but every time I spoke to him or tried to get his attention, it was as if he saw straight through me, as though I didn’t even exist. It was so real and utterly devastating, as if he had ripped out my heart.
