by C. J. Duggan
A light tickle across the pad of my foot stirred me from my nightmare. Another stroke and I kicked out against the sensation.
“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” sing-songed an upbeat, breezy voice.
I stirred, wondering if the voice was somehow part of my dream. I squinted into the darkness, shifting onto my elbows. A fuzzy silhouette stood before me.
“Tammy?” I croaked.
“Get up! Get up! Get up!” She flicked my light switch on-off-on-off-on in a series of torturous clicks that had me groaning and pulling Sean’s shirt over my face to shield me from the offending strobes of light.
“Ugh! Go away,” I said, my voice muffled.
The light stopped flicking.
“Umm, what is this?” The polo shirt was ripped from my face, Tammy holding it out before her, inspecting it with a curved brow. She looked down at me, her big, blue eyes bugging out in horror.
She gasped in mock outrage. “What. Did. You. Do?”
I pulled myself up to a sitting position and ignored her question. “What time is it?” I smacked my lips together, my mouth was so dry.
“It’s seven-thirty, and don’t change the subject,” Tammy demanded.
“Seven thirty?” I peeled back the blind to see that the light was dimming as the sun melted into the horizon.
Holy crap, how long have I been out for?
“Amy!” Tammy stood with her hands on her hips.
I yawned and stretched, feeling my bones click and pop. “Yes, Tam?” I blinked at her with an air of butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth innocence.
She threw Sean’s polo in my face. “Explain yourself!”
I peeled it off, trying and yet failing miserably to hide my smirk.
I shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Why is Sean Murphy’s shirt in your bedroom?” She crossed her arms. “I’m scandalised.”
I rubbed my rumbling stomach as it demanded food. “How about we scoot downstairs, have dinner, and I tell you all about it?”
Tammy grinned. “Deal!”
***
Tammy chewed thoughtfully on a chip. “Wow, you don’t muck around.”
I straightened. “It’s not like I planned it; it just happened.”
“Aren’t you glad you conquered your fear of the boat?” Tammy beamed.
“Well, I wouldn’t say conquered it. It’s not like I will be waterskiing anytime soon.” I brushed a crumb off my lap. “So what time do we lob up at the party?” I looked at Tammy expectantly when she didn’t answer.
“I’m sorry, Amy, I can’t go. I have to get up at five and head to the city for a uni thing.”
My heart plummeted. I hadn’t realised how much I had been relying on Tammy being my wing woman, which was ironic considering how intimidated by and jealous of her I had been. I felt really stupid about it now. Tammy must have read the look of disappointment all over my face.
She tried her best to pacify me. “Tess and Ellie will be there, though.”
“No, it’s all right,” I said. I had never been one to be shy and nervous and have to rock up to a party with the girls, or had an inexplicable need to accompany my friends to the toilets. I had never really understood that. I had gone to hundreds of parties on my own and not once felt intimidated, so why now? Why did I feel so vulnerable that I needed to walk in with someone in tow? I shook off my ridiculous insecurity and smiled; changing the subject to Tammy’s city expedition.
After Tammy parted with a lame, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I rushed upstairs to beat Adam to the bathroom to get ready. I skipped every second step and spun around the top bannister to dive into the bathroom only to be met with a locked door and the horrific wailings of Adam singing Cliff Richards’s ‘Wired For Sound.’ Good God!
I pounded on the door.
“Adam, hurry up!” I yelled.
He sang louder.
“Don’t even think about it; I’m next.” Chris poked his head out from his room.
My eyes narrowed. “No way! I’m a girl. I need longer to get ready.”
“Uh, yeah, but I have muscles to wash,” Chris said and he flexed his biceps. “And that doesn’t take five minutes.”
I rolled my eyes. Vomit!
“Who’s manning the bar?” I said.
“Max is until I get ready and then I’ll show him how to lock up. So, as you see, I need to get ready before you.”
I stomped my foot on the ground. “For God’s sake, it’s only Sean’s place. Why are you even bothering?”
“Exactly.” He gave me a knowing look.
To be honest, I had never really cared about my appearance. There hadn’t been much point to make-up and hair products at an all-girls boarding school. I hadn’t even started worrying about that stuff until I’d graduated and come home, so fighting over the bathroom – especially with two boys – was all new to me. Chris was looking right at me as if he was looking straight into my thoughts.
“Just hurry up,” I bit out, spinning around to storm into my room. I guessed I could use the time to pick out what to wear –another disturbing ritual I had developed.
Ugh! I was such a girl.
***
It was nine o’clock by the time Chris stepped into the hall with a poof of steam appearing behind him like a magician. He was meticulously rolling up his shirtsleeve when I pushed him out of the way.
“Don’t leave without me,” I said, slamming the bathroom door.
By ten-fifteen, one of them was banging on the door and I heard whining yells.
“Amy, let’s go!” called Adam.
“Everything’s locked up; time to move it,” Chris added.
I wanted to torture them for longer but I couldn’t. I was giddy. I wanted to get to Sean’s. I checked my complexion and outfit one last time and collected the essential supplies, lippy and pocket concealer, to pop into my bag before I opened the door and stepped out to the hall. Both Adam and Chris were leaning against the wall looking bored and impatient. Until their eyes landed on me.
Adam raised his brows. “Whoa, cuz!”
I looked down at my attire – was it too much? Oh God, I wanted to change.
“You’re wearing a dress?” Chris’s brow furrowed in confusion.
I shifted awkwardly under their scrutiny. The vivid green, lacey, summery dress that flowed to above my knees was something my mum had bought me years ago in an attempt to get the tomboy out of me. I had never worn it; instead, it had hung in my cupboard all this time with the price tag still attached. Seeing as I was pushing my comfort zone today, I decided to try it on and, to my surprise, along with my tousled waves that fell over my shoulders, I didn’t hate it.
“Do I look all right?” I flattened the fabric out with my palm, self-conscious of how different I felt, and of Adam’s and Chris’s reactions. “Do you think I should change?” I bit my lower lip.
Chris closed his eyes and rubbed at his temple as if the very thought of me changing was going to give him a migraine. “Amy, if it were up to me, I would want you to change,” he said.
My heart sank as my fears were confirmed; I looked ridiculous.
“But seeing as you’re not going to I will have to settle with taking a shotgun with me to the party instead.”
My eyes flicked up to meet Chris who scratched his jaw with a smile.
“You’re such a moron, Chris,” Adam said, shaking his head. “He’s saying you look beautiful.”
“Oh,” I said. My heart silently ached at the gesture from my sweet, over-protective cousins.
Chris pushed himself off the wall. “Come on, let’s go.”
Adam slung his arms around my shoulders as we followed Chris down the hall, spinning his car keys around his fingers as he walked.
“Maybe we should all change,” said Adam.
“Oh?” I curved my brow.
“Do you think this party can handle so much Henderson beauty? I mean look at us … We’re gorgeous!”
My laughter
echoed as we reached the landing.
“Well, you and I are, anyway,” Adam whispered.
Chris paused on the staircase looking back at us incredulously. “I’m standing right here, you know.”
Our laughter was interrupted, light flooding the landing as the door to my parents’ apartment opened.
Dad walked out in his dressing robe. “You’re off, then?” he said.
“Yep,” Adam said with a grin. “We’re burning moonlight.”
Just as we were about to continue our descent, Dad said, “Amy, love, do you think we can have a chat before you go?”
I looked from Dad to Chris and Adam. “Um, sure.” I made my way warily up the stairs.
“Do you want us to wait?” Chris asked.
“You blokes head off,” Dad said. “This might take a while. I’ll drop her off.”
Adam and Chris exchanged glances, before they headed down the stairs. I felt a little uneasy until I met my dad’s kind, grey eyes.
“You look beautiful, love,” he said. “Don’t worry; we’ll try not to keep you too long.”
Mum sat on the couch in her silken nightgown and matching pyjamas, massaging hand cream into her hands. She looked up from her task, her face lighting as I entered the room. “Aw, you look lovely. Where are you off to, then?” Before I could answer, Dad, being Dad (who knew everything), answered for me.
“There’s a party at young Sean’s tonight,” he said, taking a seat in his chair.
Mum’s eyes narrowed and her smile fell. “I see.” She moved aside on the couch and tapped the space next to her. “Take a seat, honey, we have some things to tell you.”
I would usually have plonked on the couch with an air of ease, grabbed the remote control and made myself at home.
But tonight I had other plans.
“Your father has told me a few things and I wanted to say I was sorry for how I acted towards you earlier today. I was just a bit … shocked, that’s all.”
Mum looked at me pointedly and I knew exactly what she was referring to when she meant ‘shocked’.
My mum rubbed my knee. “But now I know what you’ve been doing, what your friends have done and how you’ve really stepped up, honey. We are so proud of you.”
My nerves melted away at her words, and I smiled at my dad who I loved so much. He had explained things to Mum like he’d said he would. Told her some home truths and probably made her see that the hotel was a thing to be saved, that it meant so much to me and so much to him and that it could shine again. That it could be something to bring us together, not tear us apart.
Mum squeezed my hand. “We have some good news.”
I edged forward, keenly buying into Mum’s excitement. “With everything you have done, and all the hard work you’ve put in, we are pretty certain that we can get an even better price at auction!”
Chapter Forty-Seven
My heart stopped and my smile dropped. I looked from Mum’s beaming face to Dad, who couldn’t even bring himself to look at me.
“What?” I whispered.
“The real estate agent is coming out tomorrow and he is pretty certain that with all of the improvements, we could very well make Onslow real estate history.” Mum all but squealed in excitement. “Isn’t that great?”
Her enthusiasm was short-lived as she read the horror plastered all over my face.
I shook my head, looking at Dad as if he was a stranger.
My voice broke as I started to speak. “So everything I did, everything that I worked for was for nothing?”
“Not nothing, honey. Mum said. What you did has helped so much. We are so—”
“Proud of me? Yeah, I can tell,” I scoffed, staring at my hands that were balled up into angry fists in my lap.
My eyes burned as I looked up at my dad’s profile. “So you’re going to sell? Just like that?”
“It’s not just like that.” Mum straightened. “We have thought this through, haven’t we, Eric?”
Dad made no move; he just stared away as if looking at me would admit his faults, as though looking me in the eye would seal the fate of the Onslow.
“Answer me this, Mum,” I said, turning back to face her. “Is it something you both want or something you want?”
“I cannot believe you are still so surprised about this, I told you …”
“That’s right! You told me, you never asked me. I’m a member of this family too, even though I’m sure you’ve forgotten that. While you’ve been off living your second honeymoon, I’ve been here, working my fingers to the bone to save our home.”
I walked across to kneel in front of Dad in his chair, my eyes brimming with tears. “Dad, you said it, you told me what it felt like to see the hotel today, that you hadn’t seen it shine this way since your grandfather owned it. You said it was like magic. Are you willing to put a price on that?”
Dad finally turned his head to face me; his sad eyes looked across at me, really looked at me. I held my breath waiting for him to speak.
“Amy, sometimes no matter how hard it may be, we have to be smart about things. We have to make decisions with our heads, not with our hearts.” He wiped away a tear as it slid down my cheek, and with those words, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I stood, pulling away from him. I glared down at my father, a stranger.
“That’s the thing about us Hendersons, Dad,” I said. “We think with our hearts. I don’t know who you are anymore.”
“Amy, that’s enough.” My mother stood too. “You need to realise that you can’t always get what you want in life.”
I couldn’t believe the hypocrisy coming out of my mother’s mouth. “That’s rich, coming from you,” I said.
Mum’s eyes narrowed as her cool, hard, stare seared into me. Her tone was low and threatening as she said, “Get out before I do or say something we will both regret.”
“There’s nothing you could possibly do right now that could hurt me any more than you already have,” I said. I strode towards the door, ripped it open and slammed it behind me with an almighty force. I moved as quickly as I could down the stairs before my tears really fell.
And fall they did.
***
Like a dishevelled Cinderella, I sat on the back staircase in the beer garden with my face in my hands. It was after midnight. I had been sitting in the dark for hours, lost in a deep misery that I couldn’t bring myself out of. Without a lift I had no way of getting to the party, not that I felt like it now, anyway. How could I face them? All the people that had gone above and beyond to help me? I felt like I had betrayed them, used them, just to gain a better selling price for the Onslow.
I felt sick. Utterly deflated. Exhausted by the reality that churned around and around in my head. How could they sell? Would they ever really know how good our lives could be now that the hotel was better than ever? Now that Mum and Dad had rekindled their commitment to one another? I was here to help, to do what I could to make things easier. Dad wouldn’t have to do it on his own.
Maybe that was the case I needed to plead – I needed to calmly and maturely talk through the positives of why we should keep it, instead of losing my shit and flying off the handle like always. I needed to rationalise and negotiate with them. I dreamed up all these winning scenarios. So why was it I didn’t feel the least bit lifted or confident?
I breathed out a shallow, shuddery breath. At the end of the day, I knew Dad would not stand up to Mum, and more than that, I knew once Mum saw the dollar signs, there would be no changing her mind. I felt a deep burning anger against Mum, Dad, but mostly myself. How could I have been so stupid? I should have let the hotel fall down around us all – the stress and pressure I had put on myself and others and oh, God, the working bee, the fundraiser. How was that going to look? We would have to refund all the donations and try to get out of it in some way to save face.
I wrapped my arms around my legs and pressed my forehead against my knees. How was I ever going to face anyone? I almost wanted t
o be banished all over again. I felt my stomach clench as tears welled in my eyes, my throat, my heart, when I heard a voice pierce through the darkness.
“All dressed up and no place to go?”
My head snapped up, stunned by the unexpectedness of the sound, the familiar sound that made my heart thunder against my chest. I wiped at my eyes, trying to focus my blurry vision through the darkness.
A silhouette stood in the shadows of the beer garden entrance. I slowly unfolded my legs, standing, while bracing myself on the bannister with the fear that my legs would give way.
I hoped I wasn’t seeing or hearing things, because right now I needed it to be true more than anything. In that moment I needed to be rescued, to be caught, to be saved from the sorrow that constricted me with every breath. I stepped forward, afraid that if I did the breeze would stir and my shadow would fold into the night. Instead, the darkened figure stepped from the viney shadows into the moonlight, his handsome face lit with an eerie glow that shone on his perfect smile.
It was all I needed. I crossed the distance, relief flooding me as Sean caught me in a flying run. I threw my arms around him, almost knocking the wind out of him, burrowing my face into the warmth of his chest. I held on, never wanting to let go, and within the safety of Sean’s arms once again the tears came.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He cupped my face, his eyes serious, worried, as they searched mine.
I shook my head, I didn’t want him to see me like this; I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t bring myself to reveal how selfish my parents were. It was one thing for me to think it but I couldn’t bear Sean to.
“Can you take me away from this place?” I whispered.
Sean swept his hand lightly along my dampened cheek. “Of course I can.” And without another word, his hand slid down the line of my arm and laced his fingers into mine, a small, sad smile spreading over his lips.
“Come on, let’s get you out of here.”
And just like Sean, without even knowing the reasons why, he just did. Without a word or a worry, he saved me.
