by C. J. Duggan
“Did you want something to eat?” Sean asked. He pushed his chair back and headed for the fridge. He was cool and casual as always, no sign of him blushing or smiling to himself like I was trying not to do.
“Oh, no thanks, I better get back and face the music.” I said with a weak smile.
Ringer skulled the last of his juice and belched, long and hard. “I’m headed that way if you want a lift.”
“Thanks.” Although the thought didn’t enthrall me, I knew Sean had things to do.
***
A series of impatient honks sounded from Ringer’s car. I rolled my eyes at Sean.
“I better go. My chariot is somewhat impatient.”
“Sorry to subject you to him,” Sean said with a smirk.
A silence settled over us. He swept a tendril of hair from my cheek. His eyes were filled with a million unsaid things.
“Amy, there’s something you should know.”
My heart pounded against my ribcage. He was going to give me some spiel about last night being a mistake, or that we should just stay friends, I just knew it. I couldn’t breathe with the tension that swept between us. Our trance was broken with the sound of another long drawn out series of honks.
“Aaaaaammmmyyyyyyy …” Ringer called.
I blinked out of my daze. “Well, see ya!” I shouted, turning to walk quickly to the car.
***
I felt sick. And it wasn’t just the smell of the burrito that Ringer had had to pull up at the corner shop for on the way home. He licked his fingers and struggled, awkwardly shifting gears, all the while trying not to spill his food.
“Seriously, Ringer,” I said with a grimace, “you just ate.”
He spoke with a mouth full of food. “Urm, erh, growing berh.”
“You’re disgusting!”
I tried not to think about the “something” Sean had to tell me or about the look of apprehension in his eyes. Whatever he had to say wasn’t good and right now all I wanted to think about was the good stuff, like what we had done until the condoms ran out.
I got Ringer to drop me around the back so I could do my walk of shame without the whole family looking on. I was looking for a nice, private exit from his car, until he sounded the horn and started shouting out of the window.
“Come on, drop and give me twenty push-ups!” Ringer yelled.
Adam was out the back entrance doing some warm-ups.
Oh, perfect.
I wanted to slide down in my seat. Adam hadn’t seen me yet, but it didn’t take long for him to register who was in the passenger seat. His arms slowly dropped from over his head, and a dark look spread across his face.
“Thanks, Ringer,” I muttered sarcastically, getting out and slamming the car door.
“Anytime, babe.” He saluted before backing out and spinning away with a chorus of still more animated honks.
I inhaled, readying myself to meet Adam’s uncertain frown as he took in last night’s clothing, my wet hair and make-up free face. I was holding my shoes in my hand so as to tiptoe more effectively up the back staircase.
Adam’s eyes darted to me, then towards where Ringer’s car had torn away, then back to me again. A look of horror spread across his face as it all clicked into place.
“Oh my God, you totally shagged Ringer?”
I placed my hands on my hip. “Oh, yeah, I totally shagged Ringer,” I said. “Jesus, Adam!”
The horror was replaced with confusion. “Where have you been then?”
I sighed. “He dropped me off from Sean’s.” I wanted to mentally slap myself for the admission, but I had been so focused on Adam’s assumption that I had been secretly rendezvousing with Ringer, it just came out.
Adam’s brows lifted. “I see.” He nodded like that made more sense. “So you’re going to tell me you didn’t …”
“Shut up!” I snapped, storming past him.
Adam shook his head. “I wouldn’t go that way if I were you.”
I paused. “Why?”
“Everyone’s having a family brunch in the beer garden.”
I grimaced. “Everyone?”
“Uncle Eric, Aunty Claire, Chris, Melba, Toby, Tess.”
My eyes widened. Oh my God, did they know the Onslow was getting put on the market? Had Mum and Dad announced their plans before I’d had a chance to do damage control? Adam must have read the look on my face.
“They know. Everyone knows. That’s what they had to tell you last night, isn’t it? That they were still going to sell.”
I nodded. Reality came flooding back, punching me in the face. I was trying to think how this had all just spiralled out of control.
“When did Mum and Dad tell you lot?”
Adam sighed. “They didn’t.”
Confusion must have filled my face as Adam rolled his eyes in frustration, grabbing my arm.
“This way!” He dragged me towards the front. I did my best not to stumble with his quick pace and the sharp pebbles that dug into my bare feet.
“Ow-Ow-Ow … Adam slow dow—” My words broke off as we turned the corner of the hotel to the front and I skidded to a halt. Shrugging off Adam’s hold, I moved slowly forward; the stones that dug into my feet were the least of my worries. I crunched along the drive to stand before a giant auction sign with bold letters that proudly stated, ‘Opportunity Knocks’. My worst fears were realised.
I felt sick.
Chapter Fifty-One
You know when you have hit rock bottom?
When you sit in a bar getting drunk at three o’clock in the afternoon, talking to old Ray Mooreland, an alcoholic sheep farmer.
3 p.m.: “I mean, what are they even going to do, Ray? Retire? Pfft, what a joke.”
3.25 p.m.: “Not once, Ray! Not ONCE did they even ask me. How bloody disrespectful can you be?”
3.40 p.m.: “Oh, and get this, get this, right …? You won’t believe this …”
4.01 p.m.: “What I’m trying to say, Ray, is I get it, I do! They want to go and enjoy life, I get that, but, like, what about me? Where do I come into it?”
4.10 p.m.: “I mean, Ray, the thing of it is, and hear me out when I say this … The thing of it is … Umm, what was I saying?”
The bar room front door screeched open and Chris and Sean pushed their way through.
“Oh, thank fuck for that!” Ray jumped up from his stool, grabbed his hat and made for the door. Pausing next to Chris and Sean, he said, “Listen, she’s a sweet girl and all, but now you deal with it.”
By this time, I had managed somehow to stumble my way over to the jukebox and, tipsy or not, I would always have my favourite song selections memorised: 2981, 4739, and my absolute favourite, 2217. Carly Simon’s ‘You’re So Vain’ started up and suddenly I didn’t care about anything. I didn’t care about my parents or about the uncertain looks I was getting from Chris and Sean. All I cared about was the music as I spun around the pool room singing at the top of my lungs.
Chris turned a horrified expression to Max behind the bar. “What the fuck, Max?”
Max, a lean, baby-faced blond guy, shrugged. “You try saying no to her. I mean she’s a paying customer and the boss’s daughter, what was I supposed to do?”
Sean rubbed his whiskers, fighting not to smile.
Chris stalked over to me. “Is this how you deal with things? Getting drunk mid-afternoon and flailing around like freakin’ Stevie Nicks on crack?”
Sean sidled over towards me and leaned against the jukebox, his eyes alight with amusement. “Looks like you’ve put some money over the bar, sweetheart.”
I shimmied over to the bar, picked up my Tutti Frutti and saluted them with a “cheers.” I sipped from my glass and smacked my lips together in appreciation.
Earlier, in my rage, I drove down the street and withdrew as much cash as my credit limit allowed me from Mum and Dad’s generous allowance. I figured I had earned it, after all, and felt no guilt whatsoever about spending it on cocktails.
“Oh, that’s great! That’s just great!” Chris glowered at me, his hands on his hips. “Where’s Uncle Eric and Aunty Claire?”
I shrugged, peering into my empty glass. “They went out, probably going midlife-crisis shopping, I don’t know.”
Suddenly I didn’t feel so lively anymore. I pressed my forehead to the bar in an attempt to stop the room from spinning.
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Don’t you bloody dare!” Chris called from across the room.
“Mate, we better get her out of here – if the parentals rock up and see her like this …”
Sean didn’t need to finish his sentence.
In serious danger of wanting to curl up and fall asleep at the bar, I was saved from sliding off my stool by a set of steely, muscled arms. They picked me up as if I weighed no more than a feather. I squinted through half-lidded, blurry eyes. Staring into a pair of unmistakable blue eyes.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered.
He smirked. “And you’re a hot mess.”
“Thank you.” I smiled, leaning my head against the wall of his broad chest.
Sean laughed. “It wasn’t a compliment.”
Chris led the way, opening doors as Sean carried me up the staircase.
“I like it when you walk me to my room,” I mumbled.
“Shhh,” Sean whispered into my temple.
“What did she say?” asked Chris.
“I don’t know – something about the moon?” Sean suggested. “She’s pretty out of it.”
I went to correct him, but my head refused to lift.
“Yeah, well, bring her in. This will fix her up.” Chris’s voice echoed. Are we in a tunnel? We had been travelling up the stairs just a moment before. I longed to feel the feathery softness of my mattress, the warm embrace of my doona that smelled like lavender. Oh, how I wanted to just collapse in a heap and sleep the rest of the summer away.
So when I was set down and leaned up against a cold, tiled wall, I thought maybe I was dreaming.
That’s when I heard the water.
It took two Onslow Boys to pin me in the shower recess as they assaulted me with ice cold water that poured from above. I screamed and flailed and wanted to slide down to my knees and just sob bitterly, but Sean held me upright by the back of my shirt.
“I hate you!” I screamed.
Sean laughed. “Come on, now, that’s just the drink talking.”
“No it’s not, I know what I’m saying, don’t treat me like a fracking child.” I gurgled the last word, coughing, spluttering and finally sobbing as I tried to push Sean away in a limp-wristed motion. I was pathetic.
“A fracking child?” Sean said. “See you’re back to your old self again.”
I let it all out now; in bone-jarring sobs. I slid to the bottom of the shower and Sean let me go.
Chris shut off the tap and grabbed me a towel.
“Here you go, Chook.”
I glared up at him. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten your part in this. I hate you, too.”
Chris looked at Sean and shrugged, like ‘what’s a guy to do?’
He opened his mouth to speak and then paused, cocking his head to the side. His brow creased and he placed his finger to his lips for us to be quiet. I was too busy shivering my arse off.
Chris crept to the door and opened it just a crack, listening intently. He winced and swore under his breath.
“Shit, they’re back!” Chris ran his hand through his hair anxiously.
“You stay here and I’ll coax them back downstairs. Get her to her room, all right?” He opened the door a crack and slid sideways through it out to the landing.
Sean replaced him at the door, listening, waiting for the voices to fade down the stairs. Knowing Chris, it wouldn’t take him long to figure something out. And he did.
“Coast is clear, come on.” Sean tried to wrap an arm around me but I slapped him away.
“I don’t need your help,” I glowered, stumbling rather inelegantly to my feet.
Bloody spinning room.
“Yeah, I can see that,” Sean mused.
I pushed past him, zigzagging down the hall like a ball in a pinball machine, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the carpet. I could hear Sean laughing as he followed from behind. God, what an arse.
I spun around so fast Sean nearly collided with me. “You think this is funny? It’s just a giant joke to you!”
Sean sighed. “No, I don’t.”
“Do you even know why I’m upset?” I demanded.
Sean nodded. “Chris came and saw me.”
“You should be relieved. At least now you’ll get paid.” I spun around to stomp into my room.
“Do you think I even care about that?”
“I care!” At least something good could come from the sale: I wouldn’t be indebted to Sean anymore.
He sighed and looked up to the ceiling as if praying for God to give him strength.
“You don’t get it, do you? You just don’t get it.” Sean’s eyes darkened.
I searched through my drawers for a dry top, ignoring him when he stalked over to me, grabbing me by the arm and forcing me to look into his searing eyes.
“Yeah, it’s sad and shitty and all those things. But home is where this is.” He pointed to my heart. “That’s what makes it a home. Wherever you go, whatever you do, it will be home because you’re there. You take the memories with you.”
“It’s not that simple,” I whispered under my breath.
Sean ran his hand through his hair. “I blame your parents.”
“Ha! Join the club.” I crossed my arms in defiance.
“Not for that.” Sean’s eyes burned into me.
“For what, then?”
“For spoiling you to within an inch of your life, for turning you into being so damn materialistic you can’t focus on the things that really matter.”
It was as if Sean had plunged a knife and twisted it into my heart. Anger boiled inside me, or was that vomit? Wait … no, it was anger. And fury threatened to blur my vision.
“You’re calling me materialistic? This coming from the man that owns a whopping great lake house, who has a boat and a car. So you could just give it all up tomorrow and that would be all right, would it?”
“Yes,” he said coolly.
I scoffed. “I don’t believe you.”
He was silent for a moment, watching me. “Then you don’t know me at all.”
“Well, you obviously don’t know me, either.”
“I know the Amy Henderson who rolled up her sleeves and scrubbed urinals, the Amy Henderson who violently attacked thieving staff members, the Amy Henderson who looks fear in the face and plunges into it anyway. The Amy Henderson who was in my bed last night.” He shook his head. “But this Amy Henderson in front of me, the one who gets shit-faced in the middle of the day when things don’t go her way and throws the mother of all pity parties for herself, you’re right. I don’t know her.”
Silence fell between us. A long, tense silence.
“Well, I’m sorry I’m such a huge disappointment to you,” I said. “But I won’t be sorry for how I feel. I can’t just accept it.”
Sean reached out and brushed my cheek. “You’re going to have to.”
I pulled away from his touch; I’d had enough of being lectured. I couldn’t believe the one person I’d thought above anyone else I could rely on was now siding with my parents.
“You should go,” I said.
I could feel Sean’s gaze on me. I silently begged that he wouldn’t argue, he’d just move, and was relieved when he slowly walked to the door.
He paused at the threshold. “I’m not asking you not to care, but you just need to realise what’s important, what you really want in life.”
“And what is it that you want out of life?” I scoffed.
Sean smiled. “I’ll let you know.”
***
To Mum and Dad’s credit, they kep
t me in the loop to the best of their abilities, but it was Chris who gave me all the juicy details.
I sat with Chris and Adam on the outside picnic table, sharing a packet of salt and vinegar chips and downing a double-shot raspberry lemonade. I stole Adam’s sunglasses from the top of his head to mute the blinding sunrays that did absolutely nothing for my thumping headache.
“Look at you! Hung like a wet towel,” Adam smirked.
All I could manage at that point was to flip him off as I sipped on my lemonade.
“Apparently there’s a Sydney buyer really interested – they want to turn it into a bed and breakfast,” Chris said, staring sullenly into his Coke.
My heart plummeted. “Already? A bed and breakfast?”
“That’s bullshit!” Adam added. “The last thing the Onslow needs is for some crusty upper-class toffs retiring from the city to turn the place into a B & B.”
Chris shrugged. “Don’t shoot the messenger.” He traced the lines of condensation on his pot glass, his troubled stare masking something deeper.
“There’s something else going on, isn’t there?” I said. “Spill!”
He looked up at me. “Huh?”
“I can read you like a book. Spill it.”
Chris sighed. “I wasn’t going to say anything because I don’t want you reading too much into it.”
Adam and I both straightened. This wasn’t going to be good.
Chris went to speak but then thought better of it, as if he was thinking about how to put it.
“Chris!”
“All right, all right. Don’t get too excited but it looks as though the McGees might put in a bid.”
Adam and I looked at each other. My heart spiked with approval.
“Are you serious?”
“Now, see, that’s what I mean, Amy, I see that manic, hopeful look in your eyes and I don’t want you getting your heart set on it.”
“But that is seriously amazing!” I squealed and then instantly regretted it. “Do you think they will?”
Chris ran his hand through his hair. “There are a few interested parties, and as far as I know they’re one of the front runners.”
