by Eva Luxe
“You can’t have a garden on a skyscraper!” Rosa insists. “The point at the top is too small!”
“It’s not that kind of skyscraper!” I laugh and almost spill my drink. “There’s a big open flat roof at the top, and it’s filled with flowers! And the woman who owns it used to grow pot!” I pause reflectively, then add, “I think she probably still does.”
“That’s amaziiiing!” Rosa pours herself another drink. “Where’s he taking you next?!”
“Next?”
“Well, yeah! You’re definitely going to keep doing this, right?”
I can feel myself blushing, even deeper than the already ruddy color on my cheeks from the alcohol. “I mean, yeah, I think so. He didn’t say anything yet, but he also didn’t not say anything, so….”
“Oh, you so have the hots for him.”
“Rosa, no one has had ‘the hots’ for anyone since the 90’s. On the other hand, I do kinda want to bang his brains out and then cuddle and watch daytime TV afterwards, so…”
“Dude, you’ve gotta go for it!”
“I’m just not sure. I mean, we’re both fresh out of really serious relationships, and jumping right back into something - isn’t that exactly the opposite of what you told me to do?”
“Sweetie, I told you to let yourself have some fun for a change. I didn’t say never have feelings again. But also, I need to meet this guy. If he passes the smell test, then we’re in business.”
“First of all, do not smell my boyfriend, and secondly, what is this we business?” I try to be indignant, but it doesn’t quite work.
“Wait. Do you realize what you just said?!” Rosa sits up, glee written all over her face. “You called him your—”
“Oh no—”
“Boyfriend!”
“Crap.”
‘What’re you all worked up about? It’s not like it’s news to me. You’ve been thinking it for a week now. You ate cake with him, for crying out loud! You don’t gorge yourself on dessert with someone unless they matter to you!”
“I’m not sure how you figure that, but okay. And no, I don’t want you to tell me.”
“Aww, man!”
“Wait a second!” I say, a thought that had been lingering before having just re-occurred to me.
“What?” Rosa tries to sit up in her chair and fails.
“Who the hell is Morris?”
“He’s just this young college kid who moved in across the hall, and he always comes by looking for alcohol or weed late at night. He claims it helps him study.”
“Oh, okay. I thought maybe it was some kind of social worker here to inspect your place for the foster kid.”
“At midnight?” she laughs.
“Well, you know, to make sure you’re home, being responsible and all. Not out partying.”
“Oh come on,” she snorts. “Who’s the one hooking up with strangers in alleys?”
“That would be me,” I admit, raising my hand.
Rosa always knows how to call me out and put me in my place. That’s one of the many things I love about her.
“Seriously, though,” she says. “I really have changed. I want this next chapter in my life. I’m ready to take things to the next level and I would really appreciate your support.”
“Of course,” I say. “I’m sorry you didn’t automatically have it. I was just…caught off guard.”
“It was a pretty stunning revelation,” she says. “It’s not every day I announce I want to foster a child. But I guess both of us are full of stunning news lately.”
“Yeah,” I tell her, linking arms with her. I’m so glad we’re back to being best buddies. I sure need her, and I know she needs me too. “I’m happy for you. I really am, now that it’s had time to sink in. And I appreciate you being happy for me. Big changes are on the horizon for both of us.”
Chapter 36 – Brent
My phone chimes, and I glance up from the thriller I’m reading to see a Calendar reminder. It’s for a wine tasting weekend - a getaway that we’d booked ages back for fun, and that Kelly had determined was also going to be used for deciding which wines were good enough for our wedding reception.
I grab my phone and am about to text Amelia, but I pause as a thought occurs to me. It’s a whole weekend away. This thing we’re doing has been fun so far, and I definitely want to spend more time with her, but is a whole long trip too much? Will it scare her off? Does she even like wine?
I take a deep breath and massage my toes into the carpet, like John McClane in Die Hard. I’m not fighting any German terrorists today, but this is shaping up to be an obstacle nonetheless. Especially because it’s in three days, and that’s not a lot of time to decide.
I text her, because it’s easy to feign nonchalance that way. “Hey! Feel like getting some dinner tonight?” Dinner’s a good start. If it goes as well as the rest of this has been, then I can ask her about the weekend. If not…well, then I’ve saved myself a very uncomfortable weekend away with no escape.
Ding! I’ve got an answer already. “I actually have dinner plans with Rosa. We made up! Thanks for your advice! Know what? Why don’t you join us? How about Fisher’s at 8?”
Dinner with her and a friend? I’d always hated it when Kelly brought me along to parties and events with her friends…but that was mostly because her friends spent all their time talking about who they were suing this week - or who they were screwing. Not that I minded talk about screwing, usually.
But Kelly’s friends tended to be of the belief that a few years getting Viagra-banged by a Hugh Hefner-look-alike was well worth the cash they’d come into when he died, and there’s very little sexy about that situation. In fact, it had been at one of those parties that things had started getting worrisome for me. It had been - nope. I stop myself. Dwelling on it wasn’t doing me any good now, just like it hadn’t done me any good right after the breakup. Plus, I had other things to worry about.
“Sure,” I texted back before I can think myself out of it, “I’d like that! Mind if I bring along a friend too?”
This time the wait is even shorter. “No problem, the more the merrier!”
“Great! We’ll see you at 8 then.”
I blow out a long breath, and send another text. This time, to Nikki. “Want a free meal?”
“What kind of dumb ? is that? Where and when?”
And with that, I’ve locked myself into it. Dinner with my best friend, Amelia, and her own best friend Rosa. Right then, I notice that my heartbeat has sped up just thinking about it. Amelia, Amelia, Amelia, it beats in time with my thoughts.
How did this woman get so deep into my fucking head so fast? That’s a question for another day, I decide. For now, I have to get online and figure out what kind of restaurant Fishers is - and also where it is.
Chapter 37 – Amelia
“Finally! I get to meet the mystery guy. In person!” Rosa’s practically bouncing with excitement.
“I’m already starting to regret this.” I say, trying on the third dress I’ve pulled from my closet as I try to decide what to wear.
“Oh, please. You want to show him off as much as I want to see him.” Rosa laughs. “Not that one. The blue one.”
I pull the dress in question out of the closet and hold it up. “This one? I don’t know. It’s a little…”
“If you say tight like it’s a bad thing we are going to have a disagreement right now.”
“But it is! I mean, Jason hated it.”
“And we hate Jason! Sweetie.” Rosa crosses the room, putting her hands on my shoulders. “I know it’s hard, but you have got to keep looking ahead, not getting stuck behind in what he thought of you. You got out of that sham relationship for a reason. Is it really fair to keep letting him have this much influence over what you do and what you wear?”
“No, but it’s not that easy, Rosa. You know that! I tell myself I’m over him, and I know I am, and I’m excited for whatever present and future thing I’ve got going on with Br
ent. But the past is still there haunting me like a damn ghost that won’t go away.”
“You’re right.” She nods, a bit chastened. “The past is always there. But you’re smart to focus on the future instead. Like, this evening, for example. Let me ask you something though. Do you think Brent will like the dress?”
“Probably…he said he loved the red one I wore to the rehearsal hall.”
“And do you like it?”
I look at the dress in my hands, sheer and midnight blue, soft and wonderful. “Yes.”
“Okay then. Screw Jason. Screw him and his shitty attitude. He didn’t know what you had to offer and he didn’t care. And sweetie…I think this new guy just might be the exact opposite of that.”
Rosa’s right, as usual.
Brent is the exact opposite of Jason, in every way possible. Which is a very good thing. I can’t wait to see him again and express just how glad I am to have found him…even if I express it by using my tongue in a different way than just talking.
Chapter 38 – Brent
“Wait a minute. You’re bringing me to dinner with who now?!” Nikki folds her arms across her chest and stops dead in the middle of the New York City street we’re walking down.
“Oh, come on. You’d be just as mad at me if you didn’t get to meet her, so this way I figured I’d do something nice and avoid you nagging me incessantly. Did it work?” I offer my best “c’mon now” grin to her.
“Fine. But only because I never turn down a free meal. It is going to be free, right?” That’s not really a question, but I appreciate that she at least pretends a bit.
“Yes, Nikki, it’s on me.”
“Just like this new woman is, right? Or does she prefer you on top? Ooh, does she bench-press you because you’re so in shape? You should farm yourself out as a living weight for bodybuilders.”
“Sure. I’ll call the Silicon Valley types I know and have them whip up an app for that.” I say, deadpan.
“You’re no fun.” Nikki keeps walking, and I speed up a bit to keep up with her.
“That’s it - over there.” I say, pointing across the busy intersection to the restaurant set kitty-corner from us, with a bright sign proclaiming “Fishers.” And as we cross the street, it’s easy to see that under the sign, standing by the glass doors, is Amelia.
She’s with another woman I assume to be her friend Rosa, but for the moment I’m too busy taking in the gorgeous blue dress Amelia is wearing. It fits her perfectly, just like the red dress she wore to the reception hall. Her curves are pronounced enough that if we weren’t with two other people, I’d be hard-pressed to make it through the entire meal without trying for a repeat of the night we met.
“Yo, spaceboy. Quit fantasizing and pay attention. I don’t want you making me look bad in front of new people.” Nikki elbows me, not particularly gently, as we finish crossing the street.
“Oh, so now you care?” I whisper, waving to Amelia as we head up the sidewalk. Raising my voice to a normal level, I call out “Hey, Amil! We made it!” I use the nickname I’ve given her in my head, out loud. She smiles brightly enough that I almost slip back into “spaceboy” mode. Man, this woman is doing things to me…
“Hey, Brent. This is my friend Rosa.”
“Hi, Rosa…it’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Oh, so you’ve heard of me.” Rosa gives me the ‘you’re dating my best friend so until I say otherwise you’re the enemy’ look that every guy is familiar with. I don’t mind too much - based on what Amelia has told me about her best friend. I’d be almost disappointed if she didn’t care enough to break out the glare.
“I have.” I grin back. “Actually, I thought your face was familiar from somewhere! You weren’t kidding when you said your best friend spearheaded those anti-voter suppression protests, huh Amil?”
In actuality, I’d seen her face in a few articles months back, and thanks to my absurd memory, made the connection - but hey, Rosa didn’t have to know that.
Rosa’s stance relaxes just a bit. “You told him about me?”
“Of course I did, silly!” Amelia plays right along. “Brent, who’s your friend?”
“My friend, right!” I laugh. “This is Nikki!”
Nikki tosses up a wave. “Sup. Anybody else starving right now?”
Chapter 39 – Amelia
This could be a disaster. Dinner with just two slightly acquainted maybe dating people can be awkward, and here I was, doubling down on the odds because Rosa had threatened (mostly jokingly) to shave my head in my sleep if I didn’t. But so far, nothing terrible is happening. Brent’s hand rests lightly on my thigh, just above the knee, in a comforting, reassuring gesture.
Rosa and Brent’s friend, Nikki, are engaged in a fiery discussion regarding who the worst politician is. In other words, both of them are enjoying themselves thoroughly.
“So,” Brent leans close enough that I can feel the soft approach of his breath on my ear. “This seems to be going okay.”
I turn slightly to meet his eyes, smiling. “It is. And I’m glad.”
“Me too. Listen, there’s something I wanted to ask you about—”
It’s right then that someone steps up to our table. This someone is very clearly not our waitress, but she wants attention anyway…specifically from Brent. She’s blonde, rail thin, and wearing heels as high as her waxed eyebrows.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to bother you, but aren’t you Brent—”
Brent looks suddenly more uncomfortable than I’ve ever seen him, and cuts the woman off before she can finish her sentence. “Now’s not a great time - but look, here.” He pulls a pen from his pocket and scribbles a signature on it before handing it to the woman. “Here you go. Give me a call sometime.”
“Oh, thank you so much!” the woman gushes before taking off back to her cabal of giggling friends.
“Give me a call sometime?” I ask, incredulous. Nikki and Rosa are staring across the table as well, Rosa with a look that could kill and Nikki with one that’s more concerned than anything.
Brent looks a bit frazzled. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you. Every so often people mistake me for some famous son of some other famous rich guy here in the city. I think he was on The Bachelor or something. I’ve just figured out it’s easier to give them a scrawled signature and a fake number so they’ll leave me alone. I’m really sorry about that.”
“Yeah, you’d think they’d know by now that he’s not actually attractive enough to be famous.” Nikki chimes in. “This is like the fourth time this month that’s happened.”
Brent puts a hand back on my thigh. For a moment, I think about stopping him - but then I put my hand over his instead. “I’m so embarrassed.” Brent’s cheeks are flushed and he really does look as embarrassed as he seems to feel.
“It’s okay.” I say. “We shouldn’t let some thirsty socialite ruin our night anyway.”
He looks at me with a gleam in his eyes. “Thank you.”
I lean in and kiss him. “Anytime. Now, what were you going to ask me before we got interrupted?”
Brent is almost taken aback. “Oh, that! Right. It can wait, I guess.”
“No, go on, ask me! Now I’m curious.” I say, squeezing his hand.
He smiles. “Okay, look. I know we’re having a ton of fun with all these ‘fake’ wedding events - but the next one that’s on my calendar is a weekend trip to wine country.”
“Oh.” Does he not want me to go?
“I just…I don’t want you to feel obligated, I know you just finished something serious and you barely know me—”
“Brent.” I stop him, and put the strange woman out of my mind. “I’d love to go.”
Chapter 40 – Brent
“So. When are you going to tell her?”
It’s after dinner, and Nikki and I are walking back to my apartment. I’d known she was going to bring this up as soon as we were out of earshot, and yet I’m still not quite prepared for it.
“Thanks for covering for me back there,” is what I say.
“That’s not an answer. And you’re welcome.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell her, it’s just that…”
“The last time you told someone the whole relationship turned out to be a giant fire-breathing disaster that you’re still getting over?” Nikki supplies.
“More or less.” She’s not wrong. “But for the record, I’m over Kelly.”
“Just not what she did to you. The way she violated your trust and messed with your head.”
“Exactly!”
“So your solution is to violate your new girlfriend’s trust instead.”
“What?” That actually surprises me. “That’s not what I’m doing at all! And she’s not my girl—”
“Little bit.” Nikki shoots back. “Look, I get it. I’m not faulting you for keeping things closer to the vest this time around. All I’m saying is you can’t do it forever. After a while, it stops becoming ‘keeping personal things personal’ and starts becoming more like ‘misleading,’ which is an awful lot like ‘lying.’”
She’s right. I can’t keep doing this forever. That is, if I want any kind of a future with Amelia at all, I can’t keep doing this for much longer. The word “forever,” especially this early on in the relationship, is scary, even though I can see it happening— shit. Wow, that’s deep. Really deep. I can’t even believe I’m having these fucking thoughts. So, I’ll just concentrate on the here and now. Something has got to change.
Leave it to my best friend to talk sense into me, as usual.
I’m glad dinner went so well with Amelia. It was the first normal “couple” thing we’ve done together (Oh, my God, are we a couple?) I’m glad everything’s going so well. But I have to tell her soon, before that all changes.
Chapter 41 – Amelia
“This weekend can’t come fast enough.” I groan, and look at the pile of case files on my desk the way I imagine the Pharaoh looked at Moses the first time he demanded his people’s freedom. Except the files were the ones keeping me here, not the other way around. It wasn’t a perfect metaphor.
“You have no idea how jealous I am.” Rosa’s voice comes through my phone speaker. This is a habit we’d long-ago perfected: Our offices are on different sides of the floor, but we both have inter-office phone lines, so when there’s something juicy and fun to talk about (like an impending romantic getaway), we just hop on the line.
