A Whisper of Horses

by Zillah Bethell

  I nodded.

  “I could tell you, of course. I could tell you the story of Black Beauty. Tell you everything that happens from start to finish.” She gave a mischievous grin. “I could tell you,” she repeated, “but I won’t.” A flicker, a flash of fire. “That’s down to you, Serendipity. You have to find out for yourself.”

  chapter 26

  TOO MUCH COMFORT

  THE PROBLEM WAS that, even though Ashdown lived under the constant threat of raids from Bristle, it was all becoming too easy. It wouldn’t have been difficult to just stay here in Ashdown, or to clear up one of the abandoned houses in one of the villages and to move into it. It wouldn’t have been difficult to help this community with the harvesting and the food preparation and the taking care of livestock. It wouldn’t have been difficult at all.

  No. Strangely it was all too comfortable.

  My mind kept thinking back to Mama and the Professor. I was here right now because of them both, but I still wasn’t where I was supposed to be. The Professor had stepped back into Lahn Dan, letting me escape with Tab, thinking we were heading for Whales and the horses. And as for Mama, she had told me to go outside, to get away from the wall and to breathe the freeness of the air. Hiding away behind the walls of the maze would be a backwards step, surely?

  It was wrong. It would feel like a kind of betrayal to them both to sit here in this place of warmth and comfort, to feel wanted and useful … It wasn’t right. So one afternoon, after returning from the fields, I took Tab aside and told him.

  “But I don’t understand. I like it ere. Don’t you?”

  “Tab, I don’t expect you to come with me. It’s something I’ve got to do. If I stay here much longer I’m going to forget why I left Lahn Dan in the first place. Also, if I’m here, Mordecai’ll come back someday and I don’t want Lily and Lysander being put in danger again because of me.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “It’s good that you’ve found somewhere you feel wanted. You should stay. You and Mouse.”

  “But I thought you might—”

  “Who knows? After I’ve been to Whales and seen the horses or not seen the horses or whatever, perhaps … perhaps I might come back. But I have to try. First I have to try.”

  Later over dinner, I told the rest of the house.

  “I mean, it’s not that I’m not grateful for everything—really. You’ve been so incredibly kind to me, and I can’t thank you enough. But I think the time has come.”

  I couldn’t read any emotion in the Wessexes’ faces. I think they were a little shocked and I started to worry that perhaps I had hurt their feelings. The whole room was quiet. Not even Mouse scratched himself.

  Then Lily gave a smile and a wink and I knew that everything was going to be alright.

  “We understand. We knew you would have to go, Serendipity. But please remember, wherever you are, you will always be welcome here. Ashdown needs good people like you. Remember that. Good, brave people.”

  “Thank you, Lily. I will.”

  Mr. Wessex suddenly jumped into action, his brain whirring with a plan. “We will take you as far as we possibly can on the train. Yes, that’s what we’ll do. Old Gussie isn’t up to the roads beyond the immediate vicinity, I’m afraid. She’ll just go and shudder herself to dust. But the train … Yes. Mr. Trott!” His head whipped around. “Mr. Trott, we still have a good supply of coal, don’t we?”

  “Oh yessir, still got a good lump of the stuff left.”

  “Good. Good. Now I know for a fact that we can get you north of Bristol. The line is pretty smooth up to there. We might not get much farther though. We might have to abandon the train and set off on foot. So if we—”

  “We?” I asked.

  “Yes, we. We’ll come with you. Some of us. Trott and me, certainly. So—”

  “No.”

  “What?”

  “I said no.”

  “No? But you can’t go on your own. It’s not safe.”

  I shook my head. “No. You all have other things that you need to be doing. Mr. Wessex, you need to help run the farms and villages. They need you here. Your wife and son need you. So, thank you. I’ll accept your offer of the train ride to Bristle. But after that I am going to do this alone.”

  “No yer not.” It was Tab’s voice, quieter and more subdued than normal.

  “Eh?”

  “I’m coming with yer. And Mouse. Can’t leave Mouse behind.”

  “Oh, Tab. No.”

  “Don’t argue.” He tutted. “It’s a foregone illusion. Can’t have you runnin round on yer own. Yer won’t last two minutes.”

  “You can’t—”

  “Shut up. That’s the end of the conversation.”

  “I think Tab has definitely made up his mind,” Lily said, laughing. “Looks like you haven’t shaken him off quite yet, Serendipity.”

  chapter 27

  THE FEAR

  I REMEMBER MAMA talking to me about the fear. It was probably an awful rain-full day when we were trapped in our pod on the Lahn Dan High. The rain would blob up on the glass outside before getting too fat and finding itself having to run down in streaks, plopping off somewhere we couldn’t see beneath. I realize now those days were lies—like most of the Lahn Dan life. We could easily have opened the door and climbed down our rope onto the pavement below. We could have stood, our faces up, sucking in droplets of rain, feeling them land on our tongues. We could have swallowed the water down and ran around in it, kicking up puddles and spraying each other with wetness. But we didn’t. Because of the lies. Because of the fear.

  The fear, Mama said, had been the biggest reason for unhappiness in the whole of the world. The fear stopped you doing something, kept you stapled to the spot like nails through your feet. The fear nuzzled away at you making you doubt even your own feelings. The fear was a way of being controlled. That is what she said. Being too young at the time, I nodded and made nice noises to make her think I was listening, but basically I ignored her, letting the words pass through my ears but not into my brain.

  I could live at Ashdown for the rest of my life, with people who would care for me and like me. People who would share dreams and secrets with me. It was warm and secure. What was outside of the area, past Bristle, nobody really knew. But I had to find out. I’d managed to step outside once already; I could do it again.

  All I had to do was think about the horses.

  * * *

  This time we were traveling in the first of the two carriages that the steam engine pulled behind it. Me, Tab, Lily Wessex and Mouse spread ourselves across the plush seats that a couple of hundred years ago would have been graced by the bottoms of city gent commuters and serious ministers. Meanwhile, Mr. Wessex, Trott and Knottman were driving the locomotive ahead of us.

  “I think I prefer it ere. S’more cumftable.” Tab nodded, his eyes half shut like he was a connoisseur of these things. “Dirty and smelly up the front. And hot! Phew! I fought I was gonna cook me brain on the last trip. Mind you, I think I was a pretty good train driver, even if I says so meself.”

  “I quite enjoyed it,” I chipped in, defending the dirt, noise, grease and heat. “I found it kind of … exciting.”

  Lily pointed up to a little red lever above the window. “If you would rather ride up front, we can always let Roger know. He can stop the train and let you into the—”

  “No, no. It’s fine. I’m happy to sit here. With you.”

  Lily smiled at me but the tick-tock of disappearing moments seemed to smother any joy or fun from the proceedings, so we all just stared out of the window and wondered how long the journey was going to be.

  * * *

  Eventually we felt the train slow down. It rumbled along for a good ten minutes until the brakes squawked and we all gave a jolt towards a standstill.

  “This is about as far as we can get along the mainline,” Mr. Wessex said as we all stood on the grass embankment to one side of the train. “It’s too overgrown to go any fart
her.”

  “Where are we? Exactly?” Knottman had a smashing great smudge of oil across his cheek.

  “Few miles north of Bristol.”

  “We need to find a road.”

  Tab and I got our rucksacks down from the carriage and the men helped lower our bikes. We all struggled our way up the bank and across two overgrown whip-grass fields before hitting the first solid stretch of tarmac. Setting his bike down, Tab hopped on and pedaled in a wide circle, Mouse scampering along behind him.

  “Wheeeee. Nothing wrong with the action on this little beauty. Tires might need a pump before the day’s out though…”

  Everybody looked at him and laughed. Me included. There was something over the egg about Tab. Over the egg but toasty, and I was secretly pleased that he had chosen to come along with me. Not that I would ever tell him that.

  “Well. I suppose this is it.” Mr. Wessex came next to me. “Off on your big adventure, eh?” He crouched down and whispered in my ear. “Wish I was coming with you.”

  “Thank you, sir.” I held out my hand. “For everything.”

  He took it and squeezed it. “Not at all, my girl. Come back and see us soon, you hear?”

  “I will.”

  Mr. Knottman was next, patting me on the shoulder like a long-lost cousin or something. “Commander Mordecai has instructions not to go back to Lahn Dan without you and he knows you’re heading to Whales so, whatever you do, keep off the major roads as much as you can.”

  “Okay.”

  “Good. Be safe, my little heroine. Hope you find your horses.”

  “What about you? What will you do?”

  “I’ll be fine, don’t you worry. Now I’m free, the whole world has opened up so I may just do a bit of traveling around. Keep an eye on things, so to speak.”

  Mr. Trott stood slightly away from the group and I made a deliberate move towards him.

  “Good-bye, Mr. Trott.”

  “Hmmph!” His face still held the suspicious frown it had acquired the first time he saw Tab and me. “I still don’t trust you, you know.”

  “No. I know.”

  “Never did trust you. Never will.” But as I turned away from him, I was certain he gave me a little wink.

  Finally, Lily Wessex swooped up to me and threw her arms around my head. She held me tight and kissed my hair. I could feel the tears trickling down onto my face and I wasn’t too sure whose they were. We stood there for a minute or two, holding on to each other, not moving, not saying anything. Then—

  “We’d better be getting off.” Tab was no longer whizzing about on his bike and Mouse was no longer chasing after him. “We’ve got a long journey ahead of us, Serendipity.”

  Lily and I pulled apart. She patted my cheeks and grinned through sore red eyes as I adjusted the straps on my backpack and picked up the handlebars from the ground.

  “Come on then, Tab,” I croaked. “Mouse.”

  We hopped on the bikes and pushed off along the road.

  chapter 28

  THE H H BRIDGE

  WE KEPT OFF the Emm Four like Mr. Knottman had said, weaving near and around it as much as we could, keeping our little peepers peeled for Mordecai and his men. At the end of the first day, we had seen and met nobody. The land this side of Ashdown was as quiet as the land just outside of Lahn Dan. Fields were filled with a deep green grass and the houses looked weather-beaten and exhausted. But there were more birds. Many more birds. Seagulls seemed to boss the air like feathery kings and queens. Crows and blackbirds fought battles over worms and watched us pass by from the wires that strung themselves from post to post. Blue tits and sparrows darted in and out and up and down, diving and soaring like smears in the air.

  And the air itself was filled with birdsong. Whenever we rested and could stop ourselves from panting, we listened to these sounds that boldly stated life was definitely all around us.

  We spent that first night in another abandoned house, and after the coziness of Ashdown, it was strange to sleep in a cold bed that had not served its purpose for a very long time. I could hear Tab shuffling and moaning about in the next room, complaining no doubt that this was all my fault and what in the name of the God Man did I think I was doing. But the next morning, we ate some of the home-baked rations that Lily had made for us, and got quickly on our way without everything spinning into a squabble.

  It was about halfway through the day when we saw the bridge for the first time.

  “There,” I said.

  “What?”

  “The bridge.”

  Two large letter Hs stood up against the sky and the hills beyond. Just as Professor Nimbus had told me.

  “The H H Bridge.”

  “Looks normous.”

  “Come on.”

  Encouraged by the sight of it we pedaled hard for an hour, Mouse sprinting alongside us. In fact, it was fair to say that in the one day that we had been traveling, Mouse had managed to lose some of the weight that the rich food and leftovers at Ashdown had wrapped around his scruffity little body.

  We freewheeled down a long winding hill, past long-abandoned modpods and trucks, the tarmac sometimes cracked and buckled. As we neared the bridge, something dawned on my silly brain and my brakes screeched me to a stop.

  “What is it?” Tab came alongside me, his brakes equally screechy.

  “The bridge. It’s part of the Emm Four.”

  “Yeah? So what?”

  “Well, we’ve got to cross it.”

  “Yeah?” He looked at me like I was stupid or something.

  “But we might get caught.”

  “But we might not. It won’t take long to cross it, will it? What? Ten minutes? Then we can get off onto a smaller road when we’re on the other side. Yeah?”

  “I suppose.”

  “Of course you suppose. How the ell are we meant to get into Whales otherwise?”

  He had a point.

  But as we got even nearer, it was Tab who applied his brakes a little too roughly a second time.

  “What now?”

  “Sssh. Up there.” He whispered even though there was nothing near us.

  “Why’re you whispering?” I asked.

  He pointed and I could see what he was getting at. Way in the distance, at the place where the bridge seemed to twist slightly over on itself, was a vehicle. I stared hard—it was difficult to see with the sun glaring into my eyes—and eventually I could make it out. It was the unmistakable white-sided modpod of the Minister’s police men. And it wasn’t moving. It was straddling the lanes like a barrier. They were sitting there simply waiting for us to walk straight to them.

  “Oh no.” Of course they were going to wait for us here. Why didn’t I think of it before? “We can’t,” I said partly to myself. “It’s like walking into a trap.”

  Tab pulled his bag tight over his shoulders and lurched towards me. “I think we can.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Look. You’re right. If we go cycling up on the road—unless they’re all really really tired and snoring away like the idiots they are and we can just tipsy-toe past them—then we’ve got no chance. But…” At this point he rolled his bike aside and it wobbled and clattered into the shoulder. “But if we forget the bikes and just scoot along the hedges here—get ourselves a bit nearer to where the bridge actually starts, keep ourselves out of sight—then we might find a way.”

  “It’s no good, I tell you.”

  “Cheer up, cheeky chops. I’ve ain’t given up a nice, warm bedroom and free food forever to pack up on this jus yet. If there is a way, I think we should find it. Come on.”

  * * *

  We crouched hard behind a long metal tank filled with slimy-looking water. Up on the top of the bridge, one of the police men was leaning over, staring into the distance. We were about a hundred yards from where this side of the bridge started to grow out of the ground. Tab held Mouse in his arms, and every now and then, we both peeked over the side of the tank.

&
nbsp; “He’s still there.”

  “I know.”

  “What’s he doing?”

  “Just lookin round. Bored probly.”

  The man on the bridge did have an air of boredom about him, even from this distance. He was sort of huffling and puffling to himself. You could tell.

  “Right.” Tab leaned towards me. “Next time he moves away from the edge we need to make a dash for it.”

  “A dash? Where to?”

  “Well, there of course.” He pointed to the base of the bridge. “Get in under there for a starters.”

  “Why?”

  “Why dya think?”

  I gave a sort of shrug and Tab shook his head. “You’re opeless. I’ll show you when we get there.”

  We waited for a couple of minutes, watching the police man leaning over the barrier on the bridge. He tapped out a rhythm on the metal poles running alongside, gave a couple of yawns and then suddenly disappeared from the edge.

  “Now!” Tab ran out, Mouse gripped in his hands, and sprinted away from the metal tank in the direction of the bridge. A moment later and I was close behind him, my legs pushing hard over the uneven ground, my rucksack banging away on my aching back.

  Tab got to the bridge and climbed through a gap in the rusting fence.

  “Quick. In here.”

  I scrambled in through the hole, catching my bag on the spiky wires as I did so. Pulling it free I fell onto my face and landed in a puddle of mud.

  “You alright?” Tab helped me up and I wiped the thick black muck off my trousers.

  “Yeah.”

  I straightened up and looked around. It was dark underneath the bridge with shafts of light poking in through the sides. Over in a far corner I could hear the squeal and pitter-patter of rats. Mouse had obviously picked up on it too and he scampered over to where the noise was coming from and began to bark.

  “Mouse, you stupid git! Shut it! Come on. Come ere.” Tab waved at the dog and clapped his hands. But Mouse ignored him and skittered around the writhing mass of vermin, letting off the occasional yelp. “Oy! Mouse. Come ere.”

  This time Mouse noticed his young master’s voice and backed away with a slight growl before trotting back to Tab.