A Whisper of Horses

by Zillah Bethell

  We opened the door to one of the houses and were hit by a wall of cobwebs.

  “Could do with a cleanup,” Rhodri said. The rooms were barely furnished and dust had taken over what had once been the sitting room. He brushed his hands over the walls. “Dry, though. Not a bit of damp.”

  We went back outside and walked towards the cliffs that faced the mainland. The sun was finally making its way out of bed as we unpacked the binoculars and pointed them in the direction of the Haven. Rhodri used them first.

  “I can see Mordecai’s van. It’s going down into the village.”

  “Let me see.”

  I held the binoculars against my face. Suddenly I could see the detail of the village. The smoke whirling its way out of the chimneys; the birds tittering on the rooftops; the blooms in the window boxes. And then there he was. Commander Mordecai in the rusty, creaking van. And there was Mr. Nets waiting for him near the bay.

  The van pulled over and Mordecai jumped out. He opened the back of the van and dragged something out.

  “Tab!”

  Tab had his hands tied behind his back. His hair looked even more bedraggled than it usually did, and he was stumbling as he walked. He saw Mr. Nets and tried running to him, but Mordecai grabbed Tab by the shirt and yanked him back. Mr. Nets shouted something at Mordecai and Mordecai shouted something back. Mr. Nets pointed towards us and Mordecai took out his own binoculars, his eyes burning across the water towards us.

  “He’s seen us,” I said.

  “Good. Now perhaps he’ll come across to get you.”

  Mordecai was angry; I could see him yelling. Shouting and screaming at the old sailor. Suddenly Mordecai pulled out his revolver and held it to Tab’s head.

  “No!”

  Mr. Nets stretched out his hand; he obviously started talking in a calmer way because the shape of his body changed within seconds. He was trying to soothe it all over. But Mordecai was still spitting out venom, pushing and pulling Tab about. Nets pointed over to us again. Finally, Mordecai seemed to cool it, but kept the gun aimed at Tab’s head.

  Seconds later they were all heading towards the water.

  * * *

  Watching the boat sail through the waves towards us made me realize what a slow, drawn-out way of traveling it was. It also made me realize what a beautiful thing the sea was. The Wizard was right. Always rolling. Always moving. The waves could smother and snap you in two in a snitch. But using the sea as a way of getting around? A way of getting from one place to another? Not the best.

  Mr. Nets was controlling the sail, pulling on ropes and swinging big beams round. Mordecai had positioned himself as far back as he could possibly sit without falling into the water. Still he held the gun to Tab’s head and none of them seemed to be talking. In fact, Mordecai was looking a bit seasick.

  “Nearly here,” Rhodri said. “We’d better take up our positions. Remember, we have to wait until he lets Tab go. We can’t move until that happens.”

  We went farther inland and waited for Mordecai to arrive. The wait seemed to sludge on forever, the wind whipping over the land a reminder that the world was still turning. After some minutes we heard voices and then Mr. Nets came over the brow of the hill, his eyes wide and strained. About ten yards behind him were Mordecai and Tab. Tab looked exhausted and confused, his face a bloodied mess.

  “He’s been beaten.” I glanced up at Rhodri. “Mordecai’s beaten him up.”

  “The man’s a monster,” Rhodri replied, his fists balling. “Deserves all he gets.”

  Mordecai’s harsh, sharp voice cut through the peaceful, silent air like a cheese grater.

  “… ridiculous place. I tell you, if this is some sort of a trap—”

  And then he stopped, jerking Tab backwards so that he nearly fell over. Mordecai had spotted me. “Serendipity Goudge. Good of you to turn up today.” His smirk seemed to ooze itself out of his face. “As you can see I’ve taken good care of your smuggler friend here—piece of scum that he is. Tried to get a good night’s sleep but … er … he kept falling down some … ahem … stairs. Didn’t you, scum? Terribly clumsy.” He smiled a smile to no one but himself. “Step forward, girl, so that I can see your face.”

  I walked away from Rhodri and shortened the distance between myself and Mordecai.

  “Out of the way.” He waved his gun at Mr. Nets, who eased himself backwards so that he was standing to the side of us. I stood straight and tall and as proud as I could muster. This bully needed to see that I wasn’t frightened of him. And to be honest, I wasn’t frightened of him anymore. He was weak and stupid and pointless. So what if he waved a gun around and pointed it at people? So what if he would happily smash his fists into your face as soon as look at you? There was nothing worthy in his soul, and that made him pitiable.

  “Nobody here to help you, Commander? All your men gone?”

  “Traitors, the lot of them. Should all be hung, drawn and halved.”

  He stared hard at me, like he was checking my face wasn’t too dirty or something.

  “What’s wrong, Commander? Can’t believe you’ve found me at last?”

  He ignored me.

  “The Minister wants you back in Lahn Dan, Serendipity Goudge.”

  “Why?”

  His eyes narrowed. “You know why.”

  Yes. I knew why.

  “So we can play happy families?”

  “Not quite.” Mordecai smiled thinly. “First you’ll be made an example of—sent to the prison camp in Hen Field. That was my idea.”

  “I bet it was.”

  “Stamp on your own flesh and blood, I told him, and see how they respect you. Imagine that leaden bunch of idiots thinking, If he can do that to his daughter, what can he do to me? After a year or so—if you prove worthy—you return. Rehabilitated. Remorseful. Ready to rule the people. Father and daughter united. A family.”

  Like sunlight on water I had a glimpse of our lives as they might have been—me with my mama and my father before he became the man who became the Minister … Then it was gone.

  “Ha. What good did the Minister do my mama when she was alive? What good has he ever done me? He didn’t even know I existed.”

  “Your mother kept you from him. It was all her fault.”

  “None of this is my mother’s fault! Don’t you blame my mother!”

  “Your mother was just a ridiculous Pb, which is what you’ll always be if you stay out here in this backwater.”

  “Did he love her?”

  “What?”

  “Did he ever love her?” I realized suddenly that my cheeks were wet with tears.

  “How should I know? What does that matter?”

  “It matters to me!”

  Mordecai’s eyes narrowed. “Why don’t you come back and find out for yourself?”

  “And what about me? Does he really want to get to know me? Or just use me to keep his career going?”

  He hesitated. “I suppose…” His voice seemed softer, but his eyes were still cold. “I suppose you are his … flesh and blood. I think … perhaps…”

  And in that moment I saw it all. As clear as new spun rain. One day I would make the trip back to Lahn Dan and speak to the man who became the Minister. The man my mama loved. I would ask him why he did the things he did and find out who he really was. But not yet. My loyalty didn’t lie with my father. It didn’t even lie with my mama at this point.

  My loyalty lay with Tab.

  Tab. My good, kind, brave friend who’d stood by me through everything. Now it was my turn to stand by him.

  “Come back to Lahn Dan. Embrace it.” Mordecai’s voice was like a snake. “Try not to fight against it like your mother did. Share his power.”

  “Like you’ve always done? No. I don’t think so.”

  Mordecai gave a sort of growl. “You don’t understand. You will come back to Lahn Dan with me.” He gave Tab another shake. “You have no choice.”

  “I have every choice. That’s what someone like y
ou doesn’t get. I choose what I do, where I go, who I see, where I stay. I choose. Nobody else. Not you, not the Minister. Not anymore.”

  “Then you’d better choose whether or not your smuggler friend here lives or dies, because if you’re not coming with me he’s as dead as those horses you’ve been looking for.”

  I cast a quick look over at Mr. Nets and then back to Mordecai. “I. Am. Not. Coming. With. You.”

  He shoved Tab roughly forward and started to turn the revolver at him.

  “You’ve made your choice. Wave good-bye to your friend, Goudge.”

  Clunk.

  “Now! Run, Tab!”

  The rock that I had been holding in my hand had spun through the air and hit Mordecai flat on the side of his head. Mordecai stumbled to the ground, stunned for a second or two, his eyes glaring. He tried shaking the sense back into his head before—clank—the rock Mr. Nets threw smashed into the side of his nose and he fell back to the earth.

  Mr. Nets turned and bumbled quickly away back towards his boat.

  Rhodri used a knife to slice through the rope around Tab’s wrists.

  “Come on. We need to get out of here.”

  We ran as fast as we could, leaving Mordecai to pick himself up. Rhodri led the way down some awkward dunes and over a field of the green, wind-swaying grasses. We soon came to the top of the cliffs on the opposite side of the island. Peering down I could see the second boat waiting for us at the bottom of a long line of steep steps cut into the rock.

  “Let’s go,” Rhodri said, and we began to pick our way slowly down the first few, difficult steps.

  Bang.

  A shot rang out somewhere above our heads.

  “Come on. We’ve no time to lose!” Rhodri pushed me and Tab in front of him, our feet moving quicker now.

  We were about halfway down when I made the mistake of looking up. Mordecai had appeared at the top of the steps and was staring down at us.

  “Wrong decision, Serendipity Goudge,” he shouted. “You made the wrong decision. If I can’t take you back alive, I will take you back dead and suffer the consequences. Either way I am not going to the Minister empty-handed. Time for you to die, Goudge.”

  I froze. As scared as I was, I stood rock still and glared at the monster of a man. If I was to die, I was going to die with my cold eyes fast on his.

  Click.

  A tiny far-off noise.

  Click. Click. Click. Click.

  Mordecai checked his gun then pointed it back towards us.

  Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.

  The gun wasn’t working. Something had happened to it.

  “Angels.” I smiled to myself.

  Mordecai swore and threw the gun down at us. It bounced off rocks, shattered and curved its way into the sea. He started bounding down the steps, two, three at a time.

  “You can’t get away, girl! I’ve followed you to the ends of the world and I’ll follow you over its edge too.”

  The three of us ran faster, skipping over the slippery steps. We were most of the way down when Tab’s legs slid away from under him and his body rolled and bumped itself down the steps and into the gorse that clung on to the side of the cliff.

  “Tab!”

  He pulled himself up and looked at us bearing down on him. “I’m alright. Don’t worry. Keep going.” He tore his way through the weeds and brambles and back onto the steps, Rhodri holding out a hand to help him. “Gotta watch yer step,” Tab said. “Slippy.”

  We kept on, all the time aware of how fast Mordecai was gaining on us.

  “I’m going to get you, Goudge. And once I’ve got you, I’m going to finish you.” His voice found its way over the roar of the sea.

  Finally—at last—we came out on the small wooden jetty.

  “Yma. Yn gyflym. Mae wedi dod.” The pilot was waving us on, his face twisted. Mordecai was close behind, only twenty or thirty more steps and he would be upon us.

  “Serendipity Goudge!” he screamed as we clambered into the boat. “Serendipity Goudge!”

  Slap.

  His feet hit the wooden pier as the pilot pushed the boat away from its mooring and pulled the rope lifting the sail. Mordecai sprinted as hard as his legs could manage and at the end of the jetty launched himself into the sky.

  “Aaaaargh!”

  His legs kept kicking and his arms kept pounding as he flew through the air towards us, rising up before—

  Splash.

  He fell straight into the water, three or four feet behind the boat.

  He went under. A few seconds later his arms and head reappeared, frothing up the sea with their uncontrollable panic.

  “He can’t swim,” Rhodri realized.

  He flailed about for a few seconds before managing to grab hold of one of the shiny rocks that bordered the bottom of the cliff. Mordecai’s little white fingers pulled him up and out of the water, his clothes drenched, his hair flattened against his head. He turned and watched us as the wind blew up and filled the sail, taking us farther and farther away from him.

  “Toodle pip, Moron!” Tab yelled as Mordecai’s damp body dwindled into the distance like a tiny, steaming dot of loneliness. “Toodle pip.”

  * * *

  Nobody said anything. We sat there in silence as the boat fought its tiny way against the pull of the tide. Tab snuffled and rubbed the cuts and bruises on his arms and legs. It was difficult to tell which ones the gorse had made and which ones Mordecai had made. Rhodri sat staring into the distance.

  The wind brought us around the side of Invisible Island and the spray from the sea landed on my face, adding more salty tears to those that were already there.

  “I can’t believe … I think he shot Mr. Nets.”

  As we rounded the island we could make out the Haven, a small cluster of rectangular buildings nestling in the crook of the hill’s arm.

  “Look!”

  Tab spotted him first, cutting through the water like a knife through fog. It was Mr. Nets.

  “He’s alive!”

  The old sailor gave us a happy sort of wave followed by a thumbs-up. Everything had gone exactly to plan. Everything.

  * * *

  “It’s lucky that he was such a lousy shot.” Mr. Nets laughed as we guzzled ourselves senseless over a late breakfast. Mouse and Toby poked about our legs, searching for scraps, Mouse nudging us with his nose in the hope that we’d take pity on him. Tab took pity more times than was necessary. “It’s a wonder he even knew which way round to hold the thing.”

  “Can he get off the island?” I asked. “Couldn’t he just make a boat and sail across to us?”

  “Listen, my dear,” Mr. Nets answered, bits of toast hanging on to his beard. “These waters are difficult to sail. Even if he did have the wit to make a boat, it would probably break up before it left the jetty. It takes a special type of seaman to cope in these parts.” His eye momentarily flashed over to Tab. “No, he’s stuck there for good. And good riddance, I say.”

  “But won’t he starve to death, like?” Tab asked. “Or freeze to death?”

  “There’s a whole load of fruit and vegetables that grow on that island. At the back of the houses, there are more dried logs in a shed than there are trees in the world, I’d’ve thought. And some bits of coal. Anyway”—Mr. Nets picked the bits of toast out of his fuzzy face mop—“we’ll see him alright. We’ll drop packages of food and provisions every now and then. When he’s not looking. Fresh water—that kind of thing. And he can fish and trap birds. In a way he’s got his own little paradise island.”

  After breakfast, Llinos tended to Tab’s wounds. They weren’t as bad as everybody had feared, although that didn’t stop Tab from screeching out in pain every time Llinos dabbed a bruise with cotton wool.

  “He’ll be fine,” Llinos said to me before squatting alongside my chair. “How about you, Seren?” Her hand was warm against my shoulder and for the first time I noticed the freckles on her nose and the way her orange-gold hair tumb
led down. “What about you?”

  “I’m okay. I think.”

  To be honest, I didn’t really think I was okay. Mordecai had come close to killing me and that thought made me shiver to my boots. My mind was running away with all the what-ifs and what-nots of possibilities. What if the stone I threw hadn’t hit its mark? What if Mordecai’s gun hadn’t jammed? What if he’d managed to catch up with us on the wooden jetty? I suddenly knew exactly how Tab had felt knowing that the Minister wanted him dead. And it was a scary, lonely sensation.

  Llinos could see the pain in my eyes so she leant in and kissed me on the head. I quickly found myself hugging her and holding on tight.

  * * *

  In the evening, Tab and I walked to the top of the hill above the village and looked across the bay to where Invisible Island jutted out from the water. We sat on the grass and watched as the sun died. Tab took the binoculars that Rhodri had lent him and pointed them at the island.

  “He’s got a fire going in the house. And he musta found some candles.”

  Smoke was coming from the chimney and lights flickered in a couple of the windows.

  “I hope he’ll be okay.”

  “You what?” Tab sounded shocked. “You ope he’ll be okay? That bully! The trouble with you, Serendipity, is that you’re softer than a soft-boiled egg.”

  “And the trouble with you, Tab, is you’re right the way over the egg.”

  “Maybe. But I’m so toasty it hurts.”

  After we’d both stopped laughing, he said seriously, “You know what this means, doncha, Serendipity?”

  “What?”

  “It means yer free. Nobody’s going to come after yer now. Yer free to go where y’like. Free to do what yer want. Yer undred percent free.”

  I looked up at Tab and patted him on the arm.

  “Thanks, Tab. But I think I always was. I think we always were.”

  chapter 34

  THE HAVEN

  THE DAYS PASSED like moments and the autumn nights drew in like they couldn’t even have thought about doing back in Lahn Dan. Leaves on the trees became yellow and brown, and the air turned to smoke whenever you breathed.

  Tab was spending his time finding his sea feet with Mr. Nets. He’d taken to the water like a duck. In the evenings we’d meet up and he would tell me about the day’s catch and the biggest haddock he’d ever seen and how Mr. Nets would knock his pipe clean on the side of the boat and how he thought he’d seen a whale and the ins and outs of handling the rigging and the sail. He would chatter on for ages until his jaw ached. Then he would tap Mouse on the head and ask me about my day before daydreaming of the sea while I told him.