Your Life, but Better

by Crystal Velasquez

  “You heard me. It’s bad enough I had to waste so much time here this morning, waiting for you. But if you think I’m going to let an amateur from the mall take over my shoot, you’re dumber than you look.”

  Your mouth just hangs open in what Jessie would call fly-catching position. Did she really just say that? To you? Now you’re fuming. If this is what Alexa had to put up with all that time, you can understand why she bailed. There are a million ways you could react—half of which would probably land you in jail. But you’re really too shocked to do much of anything.

  Suddenly you hear Jean Paul snapping away. The other models are making small adjustments—shifting a leg here, moving an arm up there—and you’re doing your best to follow their lead. But Mona takes the cake. True to her word, she lets you know this really is her shoot. Just before one shot, she tosses her long black hair to the left, right into your face. In another she takes what looks like a superhero stance, hands on her hips and her legs spread in a wide V, forcing you to move off to the side. Five more shots go by before you look down and realize that you’re standing outside the taped line. Great. You’ll be lucky if your elbow shows up in any of those frames, let alone your face. You picture your whole life as a model—the great clothes, the famous friends, fashion week at Bryant Park—swirling down a giant drain.

  Before you know it, the shoot is over and Jean Paul is thanking everyone for their time. Mona flounces away with one last smirk in your direction. Unreal! She already stole your dream of showing up at Shawna’s place with Jimmy, and now she’s ruined your one chance at being a model. And she isn’t the least bit sorry!

  You stand there in a state of total disbelief for the longest time.

  Finally Steve comes up to you, clipboard in hand. He kind of winces and says, “Yeah, that didn’t go too well for you, honey.”

  “Thank you, Captain Obvious,” you snap. Nothing better than getting humiliated and then having someone point it out. Still, Steve has been nothing but nice to you. He didn’t deserve that. “Sorry,” you mumble. “It’s just …”

  “I know, I know,” he says, patting your arm. “That’s all right. But there are two more things I need to tell you.”

  You look up at him, thinking he’s going to request a hug to make you feel better and tell you how beautiful you are. Aw, he’s sweet.

  “Well, Janice should really be telling you this, but she watched the shoot and … well, she’s decided to auction off the passes to the wrap party.”

  Ouch. You forgot all about the wrap party for a second. But now that Steve has reminded you, all you can think about is how badly you wanted those passes … and why. “Fine,” you say grouchily. “What’s the other thing?”

  “Okay, I really hate to mention it, but … those clothes you’re wearing aren’t part of the deal. The garment bag is in the changing room.” Then he does give you a quick hug. “Better luck next time, sweetheart.”

  Oh. You can almost hear Lena quoting Shakespeare at you right now. “Thu wcu the moot unlandejt cut of all…” You head back to the small changing room and carefully hang your Bebe LaRue wardrobe back in the garment bag. You slide on your jeans and T-shirt and beat-up Nikes, and the transformation back into your old self is complete. Could this day have gone any worse?

  Almost as if the universe is answering your question, your phone rings. When you flip it open, you hear a crowd of people cheering and clapping. The noise is so loud that you have to hold the phone away from your ear.

  “I woooooon!” someone screams.

  “Lena? Is that you?”

  “Yes! Can you believe it? I won!”

  “That’s awesome!” you say, trying your best to muster up some enthusiasm. “What did you have to do?”

  “Well, I found Shawna at the movie theater. She was behind the counter, scooping out popcorn. So I had to answer a bunch of trivia questions about Reese Witherspoon movies and then I had to eat a small bucket of popcorn in one minute flat. And I did it!”

  The crowd behind her cheers again. Hey, actually, this is awesome. You may have blown your chance to be a big-time model, but at least you still have Shawna’s birthday to look forward to.

  “Sweet!” you shout to Lena, now genuinely excited. “We get to go to the party together! This is so what I needed right now. You won’t even believe what happened at the Photo Hut… .” You stop rambling when you realize that Lena is being especially quiet. “Lena, you still there?”

  “Huh? Oh y-yeah …,” she stammers. “About that. Um. I kind of decided to take Jessie, since she’s the one who practically forced me to watch Legally Blonde. If it weren’t for her, I would have spent the summer watching Masterpiece Theatre. And she’s the one who made us come here today in the first place. You understand, right?”

  Sure, you understand… . You understand that you need new best friends! How could they do this to you after the kind of day you’ve had?

  “Yeah, of course. No problem.”

  “Great,” Lena says, breathing a sigh of relief. But then she kind of gurgles. “Uh-oh.”

  “What’s wrong?” you ask.

  “Oof… I think all that popcorn kind of made me sick. Ohh, in fact, I think I’m gonna be sick right now… . Gotta go!” The last thing you hear is Lena hurling into a trash can.

  Which is actually kind of perfect, since that’s what you feel like doing right about now. Instead, you gather up your stuff and start to make your way toward the exit when you find a tall object standing in your way. Bryan.

  He has his arms folded and is shaking his head. “Why didn’t you stand up to her?” he asks. “You just let her take over, as usual. That sucked.”

  You would defend yourself, tell him all about how hard it is to navigate the waters of preteen-girl drama, but you don’t think he’d understand. And you’re pretty sure you’re about to cry, so you brush past him and get the heck out of there. Bad enough you let yourself down by not standing up to Mona. You don’t really relish the thought of skater boy witnessing your meltdown.

  Anybody who tells you that your modeling debut went well is a big fat liar. Not to be brutal, but that chapter bit big-time. Because you didn’t stand up for yourself, Mona dominated what should have been your big break, and it cost you the passes to the wrap party. Not that it matters, since you haven’t even seen Jimmy—who is inexplicably tight with Mona—and any hope you had of getting to know Bryan better just went up in smoke. Need we even mention that Lena won tickets to Shawna’s party and is taking Jessie instead of you? Yeah, you’ve had better moments. But what matters now is how you choose to cope. You have a lot of options, some better than others. Ask yourself honestly what you would do next. Better yet, let the quiz answer for you.

  QUIZ TIME!

  Circle your answers and tally up the points at the end.

  1. Your friend comes to school with yet another brand-new Coach bag. You:

  feel extremely annoyed. You don’t have even one Coach bag, let alone a dozen. It feels like she’s just rubbing it in your face.

  are kind of jealous. Your friend always has the nicest things, while you are still rocking your older sister’s hand-me-downs. You’re glad for your friend but are upset that it never seems to be your turn.

  feel a little embarrassed that you don’t have bags as nice as hers. But it’s always good to see her happy.

  are in awe of your friend’s hot sense of style. You’re thrilled she got another bag! Just being seen with someone who owns one of those makes you feel glamorous. And if you’re lucky, maybe she’ll lend it to you!

  2. You’ve always been the youngest in the family, but your mom just had a baby. You:

  hate it. Say good-bye to all the special attention you used to get. Now it’s baby, baby, baby every single day. The only time anyone seems to remember your name anymore is when your folks want you to change some poopy diapers.

  could do without it. Nothing against babies or anything, but this business about skipping family game night just so you
can take yet another home video of the baby? Lame.

  feel like it’s growing on you. You’re not quite sure yet if you’re going to like sharing the spotlight, but how could you help loving that tiny little face? Clearly the baby’s an evil genius.

  love it. You even offer to give up your own room so the baby can have more space. And you’re always the first one to volunteer to change the dirty diapers. All a part of being a big sis.

  3. You try out for a plum spot on the soccer team, but another girl is given the star forward spot you wanted, while you’re stuck warming the bench. You:

  quit the team. What’s the point of being here if you’re going to spend all your time sitting on the sidelines? And who wants to play for a coach who can’t recognize talent when he sees it?

  grumble on the bench to anyone who will listen. Somebody has to hear about what an injustice was done on the field. And you’re sure they’ll all agree with you.

  mope about it in silence. You don’t agree with what the coach did, but what he says goes, so there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. Might as well just try your best to put your feelings aside and support the team.

  become the loudest bench-warming cheerleader there is. You even offer to wear a goofy mascot costume. If you can’t help your teammates by being on the field, you can at least boost their spirits like crazy!

  4. A boy you’ve been dating, Jake, has a friend who is going through a rough time at home, and she has started calling him to talk about it. You:

  forbid him to talk to her anymore and start monitoring his phone calls just in case. You know that his friend is dealing with something, but you don’t want her spending too much time with Jake. You seriously doubt she just wants to be his friend.

  feel bad for her, but don’t exactly trust her motives, and you tell Jake so. Maybe you’re putting him in an awkward position, but that’s just how you feel.

  are a little uneasy about it, but you don’t want Jake to think you don’t trust him. You keep your reservations to yourself but keep an eye on his friend all the same.

  feel so sorry for her that you encourage Jake to spend more time with her. They’re friends, after all. If you were in her position, you would hope that Jake would be there for you.

  5. You’re a big pop star and are up for a Grammy this year. But the award goes to a newcomer who is being called the next big thing. You:

  are furious! How could she have won over you? Are those judges deaf? You storm out and vow to boycott all future awards shows.

  clap and smile but are secretly fuming inside. You know for a fact that your album was way better than hers, but there’s no accounting for taste.

  are a little disappointed, but you’ve heard her album and it isn’t half bad. There’s always next year.

  are happy just to have been nominated. You tell the reporters she deserved it. She obviously worked hard and is super-talented.

  Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered A, 2 points for every B, 3 points for every C, and 4 points for every D

  —If you scored between 5 and 12, go to chapter 19

  —If you scored between 13 and 20, go to chapter 18

  Picasso, Shakespeare, Donna Karan… You might as well go ahead and add your name to this list, because you are creative and artistic, just like them. None of your friends would be at all surprised if you grew up to be a fashion designer, actress, playwright, sculptor, or dancer. All it takes is drive and imagination. Good thing you’ve got plenty of both.

  The henna tattoo shop is one of your favorite places in the mall. It’s the least lame, anyway. Aromatherapy candles light up the room instead of harsh fluorescent lights, there’s always cool world music playing that you’ve never heard before, and there are henna patterns lining the walls. This place is so soothing (hopefully soothing enough to help you forget about Jimmy for a while). You remember from Shawna’s Facebook page that she’s a fan of henna tattoos. So you figure you might as well check here first.

  Unfortunately everyone except Shawna seems to be there.

  “Lizette is taking me!” Delia screams in her high-pitched voice, wrecking the Zen vibe of the place.

  “In your dreams,” Celia yells back. “She’s taking me.”

  “Me!”

  “Me!”

  “Would you guys shut up already?” Lizette breaks in. Her left leg is propped up on a red plastic chair, and the bored-looking woman sitting across from her is painting a henna design all around Lizette’s ankle. “You’re embarrassing me! Keep it up and I won’t take either one of you!” She rolls her brown eyes at them before she notices you standing there. “Hey. Care to buy a twin? They’re on sale today—two for the price of one. Going once, going twice …”

  “Pass,” you say. “I’ve had my eye on this set of newborn triplets that poop around the clock. You understand.”

  “Yeah,” Lizette says, moaning a little. “I’d probably take some poopy triplets over these two knuckleheads right about now too. Here I thought winning a ticket to Shawna’s party would be so cool, but they’ve been fighting over who gets to go with me ever since. Ay, Dios mio, it’s driving me up the freakin’ wall!”

  You glance over at the dueling twins, who now have a small crowd of kids from school surrounding them and giggling. It is kind of funny, because the twins have exactly the same mannerisms and the same hairstyle, so it seems like Delia is looking into a mirror and yelling at herself.

  “She should take me. I’m older than you!”

  “Only by two minutes!”

  You look back at Lizette with fresh sympathy. “Yeah, that’s getting ugly,” you tell her. “But at least your ankle is ready to party.”

  Lizette looks down at the finished henna design, with its swirling black lines crisscrossing her ankle. “Wow. Love it!” she says to the woman. “Would you accept one of the twins as payment? They do dishes… .”

  “Cash only, please,” the woman says, tapping the small sign next to her and totally missing the joke. “Next!”

  Lizette pays the woman and stands up, careful not to smudge the new design on the edge of the chair. “You should get one. If you get to go to the party, it’ll be the perfect accessory.”

  “Fat chance of that happening,” you answer. “I feel like I’ve been wandering around this mall all day, and I haven’t spotted Shawna once. What’s a girl gotta do to get a golden ticket around here?” You picture Veruca Salt having her father’s whole factory look through a sea of chocolate bars to find her one. Yeah, you’ll have to call that Plan B.

  Lizette gently pushes you down into the seat across from the humorless tattoo woman. “Don’t worry about it for now. Shawna’s around here somewhere and you’re bound to run into her.” She hands you a book full of henna designs. “Might as well go for a few extra cool points in the meantime. And these tattoos are so fly”

  The girl makes good sense. You flip through the book quickly and decide on what looks like a butterfly pattern to go around your wrist when Gwen Stefani starts singing at your hip. It’s your Sidekick, and that’s your ringtone for Lena. Maybe she’ll have some good news for you.

  “Hey Lena,” you greet her. “What’s shakin’?”

  “Me!” she shouts back at you. “I won!” She is screaming so loudly you have to hold the phone away from you to protect your eardrum. Even at arm’s length, you can hear a crowd of people cheering behind her. She goes on excitedly, “You know how I went to the movie theater, right? Well, it turns out she was at the movie theater! She was behind the concession stand, scooping popcorn. Mark tried to claim that he saw her first, but nobody was buying that. So Shawna told me I had to answer a bunch of questions about Reese Witherspoon movies and then eat a small bucket of popcorn in one minute flat. It wasn’t the most dignified thing I’ve ever done. But I did it. I did it! Shawna took off right after, but now I’ve got a ticket! Woohooo!”

  You jerk out of your chair, wrecking the design that was being carefully painted on your wrist—and reall
y annoying the woman. But what do you care? One of your best friends just won a ticket! “That’s awesome!” you cry. “That means we can go to the party! That’s great, because I’m getting a henna tattoo right now that is going to look so good with this dress I bought last week. And after that whole Jimmy fiasco, the party will be the perfect pick-me-up and …”

  You trail off when you realize that Lena is unusually quiet now.

  “Uh … Lena? You still there?”

  “Yeah, I’m here,” she says hesitantly. “But, um … well, sorry I didn’t mention this sooner, but I kind of decided to take Jessie. I mean, she is the one who practically tied me to a chair and forced me to watch Legally Blonde. Plus, she is the one who begged us to come to the mall. You’re not mad at me, are you?”

  You think about that for a moment and decide no. Lena is right. If not for Jessie, none of you would be at the mall today in the first place. She deserves to go to the party. Still, this means the odds of your winning a ticket just got even worse. But for her sake, you shove your disappointment away and do your best to sound cheerful.

  “No, I’m not mad. In fact, I’ll come meet up with you guys now and we can celebrate.”

  Lena lets out a relieved sigh. “Great! That would be so … oh, urgh …”

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” you ask.

  “You know all that popcorn I ate? Argh… I think I’m gonna be sick. I think—”

  And the last sound you hear before Lena hangs up is her hurling into the nearest trash can.

  Next to you Lizette starts laughing. “Wow! Amy works fast!” She holds out her phone to show you a video message she just received of Lena bent over a trash can, puking her guts out.