5 Years Later_a second chance romance novel

by London Casey

  Then she slithered herself closer to me. Her body was tight to mine. She climbed on top of me. Her hair fell all around, the sweet smell of her shampoo and her body in the air. Her hips gently rocking, her honey oozing from between her legs, telling me she was getting ready for me again. She lathered my cock nice and wet before reaching down and grabbing it. I put my hands behind my head and took a deep breath.

  Lily started to ride me, moving so painfully slow, it was threatening to make me a one-minute loser.

  I couldn't have that.

  I moved my hands, slapping them both at her ass. I squeezed tight, making Lily moan. I started to move her the way I wanted it. Harder. Faster.

  She threw her hands out, pressing them against the headboard of the bed. That left her breasts hanging right in my face. My grip became fiercer. I pumped her body as she fucked me. I crunched forward a little and latched onto her left breast, sucking hard, my tongue running wild left to right against her nipple.

  I had other intentions with Lily, but I wasn’t going to argue her and her body and her needs and the sweet sounds of my cock slamming in and out of her along with the sounds of her pleasure-filled cries.

  She pushed off the headboard as I pulled away from her chest. She put her hands to my chest and arched her back as she leaned just a little. Reaching back, she grabbed my hands from her ass and put them to her sides. Then she ran her hands up over her breasts and into her hair. Putting her head back, she held her hair and started to bounce on me.

  “Fuck, Aiden,” she whispered. “It’s always so good with you.”

  “You too, my flower,” I growled.

  My new demon. I feel your venom all over my shaft.

  I gritted my teeth as I wanted to come right then.

  I turned my head and looked at the clock.

  Nine days. Twenty-three hours. Twenty-eight minutes. Forty-one seconds.

  I had my number. I looked back at Lily’s body.

  She leaned forward again, her hands clawing at my chest. She was collapsing, lifting her ass, letting me pound at her as she started to come. I moved my right hand to the back of her neck and pulled her down to me.

  She was the ultimate addiction and drug. My cock fucking her, feeling her clenching, feeling her come. And my tongue danced in her mouth as she groaned.

  The surge rolled through my body as I brought my other hand to the small of her back, preparing her for me. Fingers spread wide, I felt the uncontrollable need to come. I forced her tight against me with the first release. I grunted as she gasped. Her hips then went right back to work, pumping and grinding, making sure everything got released from me.

  We kissed, sloppy, eyes open, falling deeper in love.

  But I had something else to do though.

  I had to tell Lily about my demon.

  She collapsed to my chest, and I held her. I felt her heart racing. I felt my own heart racing. I stared at the ceiling, letting that warmth rush over me. It was amazing how I could feel that way without a needle in my arm. That meant I could survive life. I just needed Lily, my flower, my everything.

  “I have to tell you something,” I whispered.

  My hands moved up and down her back again.

  “Tell me anything and everything, Aiden.”

  “I have a secret. Something I don’t talk about. Something serious.”

  Lily’s head popped up. “Oh?”

  “Can we maybe get dressed and have a cup of coffee and talk?”

  “Yeah, sure,” Lily said, then cautiously, “Aiden, are you leaving me?”

  I smiled. I touched her face. I thumbed her cheek. I shook my head. “No, sweetheart. I’m not leaving you. I’m opening up to you. You want to know the truth about the last five years? I’m going to tell you.”

  “Okay,” Lily whispered.

  She climbed out of the bed and put on a hoodie and pair of PJ bottoms. She looked so fucking sexy. I rolled to my side and grabbed for my phone. Gabe had called and texted me three more times. My theory was simple—as long as he bothered me, that meant he was still alive.

  I stepped into a pair of jeans and grabbed a wrinkled t-shirt and forced it over my head.

  Lily was already making the coffee.

  I pinned her in the corner of the kitchen as the coffeemaker spat and growled. We made out like we were two teenagers trying to figure out how to kiss and why it felt so good. I slipped a hand down to her ass and put her on the counter.

  We kept kissing until the coffeemaker gave out its last howl and spit, then it beeped to let us know it was done.

  I grabbed two mugs that didn’t match and filled them. I took my coffee black as night, and I made Lily’s so that it was light tan that smelled hot and sweet. Just like her.

  At the table, she sat hugging her left leg. I loved the way she sat like that. But it meant she was nervous. Trying to protect herself and keep her guard up.

  And I have to tell her I’m a junkie. Not that I was, but that I am. There is no was, not yet.

  “When I got out and tried to set myself up, it was hard,” I said. “I relied on Gabe a lot.”

  “That’s what brothers are for,” Lily said.

  I smiled.

  We had dinner with Gabe and his wife, Alice, almost a week ago. Gabe was high as fuck, Alice well aware but living with it, but Lily didn’t have a clue. Lily and Alice got along. Gabe and I drank and laughed. The entire time, my right leg bounced, wanting what Gabe had. At one point, when I went to get us another round of drinks, Alice followed me and told me it was okay to go into the bathroom if I needed to. Alice was kind and pretty, and she found a way to cope with who Gabe was. It was hard to hear her tell me to do it.

  I refused.

  I got through the night. Clean.

  “Lily, Gabe has problems. A lot of problems. I hate to be the guy that says what I’m about to say, but growing up on the streets…the life, seeing things…surviving…”

  “Drugs,” Lily said.

  “Drugs,” I said. “He would sell them. I helped a little. Not the proudest way to make a buck.”

  “Do you sell drugs now?” Lily asked.

  “No. Hell no, sweetheart. I swear to you.”

  “Good. Don’t worry about what happened, then.”

  “See, Gabe started to use,” I said. “Sampling his product and getting hooked on it. To the point where he was working just to use. I was able to pull him—us—out of the life of dealing, which was good. But the damage was done. He was hooked. I always had this vision of a junkie. You know, someone burned out. Fucked-up. Stupid. Unable to function. Covered in cuts and bruises, doing anything for the next high. That wasn’t Gabe. He could function. He was happy, Lily. Happy as a junkie.”

  She shook her head. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry you…”

  I put up a hand. “He was happy. I wasn’t happy. I guess what I’m trying to tell you, Lily, is that I decided to be happy too.”

  I watched her swallow hard. “Oh.”

  “He showed me everything.”

  “You did drugs,” Lily whispered.

  “Not did, Lily. Do. As in…present day.”

  “What? Right now?”

  “To be fair, Lily, since I met you again…I’m happy without it. The shit was the only thing that kept things calm for me. I was able to function. To hold a job. To get through life.”

  “I’m going to ask you a question, Aiden. Have you ever used inside this apartment?”

  “No.”

  “When was the last time…”

  “When you went on that date,” I said.

  Lily looked away and shut her eyes. “Fuck.”

  “I called Gabe. He came here, and I met out in the hallway.”

  “You were with me, Aiden. You were high. You were fucking high!”

  Lily stood up. She started to gently pace.

  “Look, I know how bad it sounds. And it is bad. But being with you fixes that need, Lily. Without you in my life, I feel lost. I feel worthless. You can check my clot
hes, my wallet, my truck, my phone. I don’t care. I haven’t even talked to Gabe since we went out to dinner. He was high then.”

  “Does Alice know?” Lily asked.

  “Yes. She deals with it. She accepts it.”

  “I don’t!” Lily yelled. “I don’t accept that!”

  Her bottom lip started to quiver.

  “I know you don’t. You’re stronger than that. That’s why I love you, Lily. That’s why I’m telling you this. Okay?”

  She kept pacing. This was why I didn’t want to tell her. I knew in her beautiful mind she was trying to think of all the ways to save me from me. But that’s not how it was supposed to work. I was supposed to save her from the world. Protect her. Love her. Cherish her. Which I did. I fucking did.

  “Aiden, you need to get help,” she said. “No negotiating.”

  “Help?”

  “A support group. Rehab. Meetings. Something. You can’t just go cold-turkey. The last week when you said you’d been feeling sick a few times…”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Withdrawal.”

  “Jesus Christ,” she said. She walked to the kitchen and faced the counters.

  That’s when I slowly stood up.

  I knew better than to twist this onto myself or make her bear the brunt of it. Telling her that it was a good thing I told her would be bad. This wasn’t a fucking favor to her. This was for the strength of our relationship.

  “I’m telling you the truth,” I said. “Do I have urges? Yeah. But they’re not what they were before you. We’ve been in this hell for ten, fifteen years now, Lily. I know, most people don’t get that love could happen when you’re thirteen. We lived hard. We lived rough. I’m always slipping and you’re always catching me. And you’re always afraid and I’m always protecting you.”

  “Darryl was a nice guy,” she said. “Good-looking. A decent job. A good heart. He told stupid jokes. He saved money to take me to a fancy restaurant. He dressed up nice. I hurt him for you. I lost my job five years ago for you. I gave you my virginity five years before that, and you slipped away in the middle of the night. And when I was thirteen…the second I saw you…”

  I put a hand to her shoulder. “I know, sweetheart. And I’m giving you my heart right now.”

  “Promise me you’ll get help, Aiden.”

  “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

  “No,” she yelled. She turned to face me. She slapped me right across the face. The hot sting made my eyes water up. “It’s not what I fucking want, Aiden. It’s what you need.”

  “Right. I’m sorry.”

  “What about Gabe?”

  “What about?”

  “How can I trust you near him?”

  “Tell you what,” I said. “I won’t contact him until I start going to meetings. And then I’ll try to help him.”

  Lily slowly nodded. “Okay.”

  I reached for her face. “It’s all for you, my flower. I’m nothing without you. I’m sorry I danced with that demon. But it was all I had. I don’t want it ever again. I want this. Right here. Right now. You and me. I want you to keep that job at the restaurant.”

  “I hate that job.”

  “Then get a new one. A better one. I’ll give you everything I make at my job. We can get a place together or just crash here. Or crash at my place. Or you can tell me to go the fuck home.”

  “No. I don’t want you to ever go, Aiden. I don’t care where we live. I just want you here.”

  “If you need some time to think about what I just told you, I understand. And if you want to be angry, be angry. I just need you to talk to me, Lily. I know your brain. I know you’re processing everything to fix me. But get that out, okay? Don’t hold it in. You can’t fix me. I can fix myself. And for you, I will do anything in the world. That night I made you go on that…yeah, it was so I could call Gabe and get my fix. But I meant what I said. I wanted you to go out. I wanted you to experience a date and experience someone. Because I know there’s not a person in the world who can compete with the love I have for you. Another man can kiss you and say they enjoy it, but no man can kiss you like me. No man can feel what I feel when I kiss you. No man can ever understand what it’s like to be me when I’m with you.”

  Lily blinked fast, tears welling up in her eyes. “Jesus, Aiden. I don’t know whether to punch you or hug you.”

  “Maybe do both,” I offered. “I’m okay with it.”

  Lily laughed as a stray tear fell from her eye. I wiped it away and came up with a plan. I was going to bust my ass at the shop and take every shit job I could. I was going to take all that extra cash and buy her a diamond ring. I was going to slide the ring on her finger and make her mine for forever.

  And you know what?

  I did exactly that…well…I busted my ass. I saved money.

  But then it all got fucking destroyed.

  Chapter 26

  (My brudder)

  FIVE YEARS AGO

  (LILY)

  Aiden was right. He was always right. And that pissed me off. I spent almost every waking second studying him, wondering if he was using or planning to use again. I had to hand it to him though, he had been going to meetings. Yeah, it was only once a month, but it was something. The shock still hadn’t worn off me. My Aiden. My beautiful protector. A man so tall and strong. He had succumbed to that junk.

  I broke down to him one night, and he told me to come to a meeting. To see the people. To understand the stories. That it wasn’t just one fit cliché to becoming a junkie. There were people with good jobs, good lives. Men. Women. Young men and women. Older men and women. People who grew up poor. People who grew up rich. It didn’t matter.

  So, I went to a meeting, and it changed my life.

  I stood in the back and cried my eyes out for hours. Watching person after person stand up and share their story ripped through me. I’d never understood it until then. I would never say it was a good thing that Aiden had gotten wrapped up in drugs, but if I could take one sliver of a silver lining out of it, it was hearing those stories.

  It was Thursday night, and I clocked out around eleven.

  I stood out back, stretching, letting the cool night air lick the sweat off my face and my neck. It had been a brutal shift. Dale convinced the higher powers to run a special on wings, and we got slammed. That left a nice chunk of change in my pocket though.

  As I got into my car, Aiden text me.

  Meet me at Gabe’s

  It made me shiver at first. It was hard to trust Aiden’s brother anymore. I knew how much Gabe had done to help Aiden, but he also introduced Aiden to that evil world of drugs. But Aiden swore he was going to save Gabe. So, I had to play nice. To be fair. To accept. But I wouldn’t be like Alice and accept everything. That poor woman just stood there with her husband shooting up, looking away, pretending it wasn’t happening.

  I drove to Gabe’s house and found he and Aiden sitting on the front porch steps. They looked like nothing but trouble, leaving me thankful that Aiden never knew about Gabe until later in life.

  There was a collection of beer bottles and cigarette butts all around them. They had a radio playing, blasting some rock music. The both of them were singing, laughing, acting drunk and goofy. But I couldn’t smile. I needed to make sure things were okay.

  I slammed my door and walked right to the steps. I always kept a flashlight in my car in case of an emergency. It was in my right hand. I pressed the button and flipped it up, shining it right at Aiden.

  He put a hand up. “Hey, sweetheart. What the hell…”

  “Oh, shit,” Gabe said. “Cops are here.”

  “Shut up, Gabe,” I said. “Aiden, look at me.”

  He did.

  I studied his eyes.

  What the hell did I know about someone being high?

  “Arms,” I said. “Now.”

  “Arms?” Aiden asked.

  “Show me your arms. For needle marks.”

  “Shit, is she serious?” Gabe asked.

&
nbsp; “You’re next,” I said to Gabe.

  Aiden showed me his arms. Then he stood up. “I made you a promise. I’m just a little drunk.”

  I pointed the flashlight at Gabe. “What about you?”

  “Not tonight, Lily. I know better. I respect my brother for what he’s doing.”

  “And Gabe is going to come with me soon,” Aiden said. “Right, brother?”

  “That’s right. I just need to think this out.”

  The door opened and Alice came out. “Everything okay?”

  I clicked my flashlight off. “I’m just here to collect…”

  “Stay for a beer,” Gabe said. “Just one. I want one more with my brother.”

  “Yeah,” Aiden said. “My brudder…”

  The two started cackling.

  Alice nodded at the door.

  “Fine,” I said.

  “Just one.”

  I went into the house and Alice got me a drink. She sat down at the kitchen table and lit up a cigarette. The house was messy and had a lingering smell that reminded me of burned bacon and leftover fish. The sink was full of dishes with food caked on it. Flies danced on the dirty pans, loving the free meals.

  “Sit down,” she said.

  I took a seat and stretched my legs. “What a long shift.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “So, when did the brudders get together?”

  “A few hours ago.”

  “And they’re being good?”

  “Lily, they’re grown men.”

  I took a drink. “Yeah. But I don’t go for that shit.”

  Alice adverted her eyes. “I used to say the same thing.”

  “So why do you do it?” I asked. “I’ve always wondered it. You let him just…”

  “If I don’t, I’ll lose him. It’s that simple. And don’t say I won’t lose him. I will. He’ll go out and find what he wants. And he’ll end up fucking some woman or end up shooting the wrong stuff and killing himself. At least here, it’s controlled.”

  “Controlled?” I asked. “He’s a junkie.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” Alice asked. “Who the fuck are you? Your boyfriend is the same.”