5 Years Later_a second chance romance novel

by London Casey

  “Have fun tonight,” he said. “Darryl says he can’t wait to see you again.”

  My heart sank.

  “You went through my phone?”

  “You got a fucking text message while I was standing there. Lily…”

  “Nothing is going on,” I said.

  “Do you have work tonight for real?”

  “Yes!”

  “And he’s coming to visit?”

  “Aiden, he’s a friend.”

  “A friend. That you dated.”

  “You told me to go on that date!” I yelled.

  “So, what is it?”

  “He’s just someone to talk to.”

  “What about your other friends. Eve? Paige? The others?”

  “Darryl is smart,” I said. “It’s just nice to have someone to talk to when…”

  My throat locked up.

  “When what?” Aiden asked. “When you’re not too busy worrying about me?”

  “How can I not worry?” I yelled. “I see the way Alice is with Gabe. And you want to go visit Gabe. How can I let you without feeling horrible?”

  “So, I have to ask permission.”

  “I didn't say that.”

  Aiden shook his head. “Clean cut, good job, and he wants to fuck you. That’s what you want. Have at it, sweetheart.”

  “Aiden,” I growled.

  He walked out of the room.

  I chased after him.

  I felt an explosion inside me.

  When I got close enough I jumped on his back. He stumbled forward as I put my arms around him.

  “Don’t fucking do this,” I said. “You have no idea what I’m going through. What I’ve been through.”

  Aiden wiggled me off him. He grabbed me and threw me up on the table.

  “I warned you,” he said, “not to let me become a burden. But I am. How stupid of me. To repeat this again.”

  “I’m not doing anything wrong,” I said.

  “That text was not nothing wrong,” he said with gritted teeth. “Your phone goes off and you grab it, running away. Hiding from me. You like it.”

  “I like normal!” I blurted out. “Goddammit. It’s normal!”

  Aiden stiffened. He stepped back. “Normal.”

  “Shit. I didn’t mean that… not like that…”

  “Normal,” he repeated. “I had everything under control. You said to go to the meetings and shit. I did it for you.”

  “You did it for yourself.”

  “Fuck that!” Aiden bellowed. “I did it for you. I try to ease your mind. Why do you have to give your heart so easily? Huh? It’s like you see a fucking person in need and you have to stop the world to save them. Yet you never just focus on what’s in front of you. So, what’s with this guy, huh? He’s got to have something on you. It’s not just that he’s clean cut and good looking.”

  I swallowed hard.

  I hated that Aiden knew me so well.

  Darryl’s mother had been diagnosed with stage four cancer and had months to live. And, yes, I was sucked in. I was trying to comfort him. Figuring maybe we could share each other’s pain. But it wasn’t anything bad…

  “That’s what I thought,” Aiden said. “I need to go for a walk.”

  “No. Stay. Don’t leave. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  Aiden clenched his fists. He took a breath. “Look at me. I’m like my father. Fighting. Then fucking to make up. Then losing you. Then finding you again. Rinse and repeat, Lily.”

  “Please, Aiden.”

  “I gave it all to you, my flower.” Aiden rushed at me as I sat on the table. He gave me a kiss that tasted bitterly of goodbye. He put his forehead to mine. “But I won’t hold you back. Go work your shift. Have your little date show up. And whatever you want, let it happen.”

  I grabbed at his shirt but he ripped himself away. “No.” He made it to the door and stopped. “I won’t share, Lily. Your heart is too beautiful and precious to be ripped into any more pieces. I’m goddamn strong enough to hold it. I’ve done everything for you.”

  “Aiden!” I cried out.

  He left the apartment.

  I jumped off the table and chased after him.

  He was on the move. I couldn’t catch him.

  I blasted through the apartment building doors and he was already in his truck.

  Our eyes locked.

  “Don’t!” I yelled. “I love you! I swear I love you! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

  Aiden backed up and drove away.

  There had been a look in his eyes that scared me.

  I turned and ran back into the apartment. I scrambled for my phone. I hated myself. I fucking hated myself. I was literally just talking with Darryl. Nothing else. I would never let anything else happen. Ever.

  I hurried to send a text to Aiden.

  I love you, Aiden. Everything I am to you… you are to me. Don’t let everything weigh on you. Please.

  I called Alice. I told her Aiden and I had a fight and I needed her to make sure he didn’t go to their house and stir up trouble. She said she would try her best. She sounded half-drunk and depressed.

  Then something else hit me.

  I dropped my phone back on the bed and ran to the drawer. I tore it open and dug for the envelope. I found it… and it was empty.

  Aiden took all that cash with him.

  Cash to run?

  Cash to buy drugs?

  “Fuck,” I yelled.

  I ran to get my phone again to call into work. I would get fired for cutting on a shift like that, but I had no choice. I had to find Aiden. I had to protect him from himself. This was my fault. And I was going to fix it.

  Only problem… I was too fucking late.

  Chapter 29

  (Whisper in My Ear, Sweet Demon)

  FIVE YEARS AGO

  (AIDEN)

  I opened the door to the house and Alice stood there with her head tilted back. She had a lit cigarette in her hand. Upstairs it sounded like an elephant was stomping around.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “You can’t be here,” she said. “Your girlfriend said so.”

  “Fuck that,” I growled. “I’m doing my thing right now. What’s wrong with Gabe?”

  “We’re all out,” she said. “The stuff. So, he’s tripping.”

  “Fuck,” I said.

  I ran to the steps.

  “Aiden,” Alice said. “What happened with Lily?”

  “None of your business,” I said. “And if you tell her I’m here I’ll fucking call the police and have this place raided. Stay out of my personal life.”

  I felt like an asshole for saying that to Alice but someone needed to feel my anger.

  I ran up the stairs, my mind thinking about that stupid text message.

  Fucking hell… is that what we had become? Better still, what had I become? I only did the shit with the meetings to make Lily not worry so much. I was fine. I could use, stop, enjoy it, whatever. And I meant what I said - when I was near her, there was zero urge to use. She took that away. But she wanted me to go into that dark hole of my memory and dig around. And then when I was there, she had some guy texting her? A fucking smiley face? Meeting her at work? To do what? To sit there and stare at her tits as they poured from her work uniform? To leave a big tip, wanting to entice Lily to just cross that fucking line and go for him?

  I was shaking by the time I opened the bathroom door to find Gabe sitting on the edge of the tub, rocking back and forth. He looked right at me, his eyes bloodshot.

  “Get the fuck out,” he growled.

  “I need you right now,” I said. “I need advice, brother. I need to show you something. From my old house.”

  “I can’t,” he said. “I fucking can’t. That fucking cunt downstairs. She didn’t buy me anymore. She fucking fucked me. They all fuck… fucking women. I can’t stand them.”

  Gabe stood up. He punched the mirror above the sink, shattering it. Blood dripped from his hand. He turn
ed and started to kick the toilet, actually moving it.

  “Fuck, man,” I said. “Stop!”

  Gabe grabbed a shard of glass and put it to his wrist. “Don’t make me.”

  “You’re going to hurt yourself now? Over some junk?”

  “I need it!” he yelled. “I need it! It keeps the memories away, man. You want my help? Then you help me. Right now. Aiden. Don’t let me down.”

  “Lily hurt me,” I said. “She might be fucking someone else.”

  “She probably is! They all do! I bet Alice is fucking someone. She wants me dead. So that she could fuck anyone she wants. So, I’ll just do it.”

  Gabe pressed the glass to his wrist.

  My head, stomach, heart, they were all tangled together.

  I pictured Lily at the restaurant. Short shorts. Tight shirt. Tits hanging out. Running around. Laughing and flirting. Being so beautiful. Being herself.

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the money I was going to use to buy her an engagement ring. I guess I didn’t need the money anymore, right?

  “Look,” I said. “Look, Gabe. Let’s go for a ride. Right now. I’ll drive. You make the call. Okay? Look. No need to hurt yourself, brother. I’m right here. I’m always right here.”

  Gabe dropped the glass and smiled at the cash. “Let’s do this. Like old times. Fuck it. Right?”

  I nodded.

  Fuck it.

  I could do whatever I wanted. Lily was.

  If she was going to shake her ass and flirt with some guy friend then I needed something to take the edge off.

  I could use just once and never again. I could control it.

  It wasn’t that big of a deal. At all.

  What’s the worst that could happen?

  I was about to find out.

  Whisper in my ear, sweet demon…

  I leaned back on the couch and felt warm. So fucking warm. From the inside out. It was like time stopped. Nothing mattered. Everything was slow, cool, calm. Just fucking chill…

  Gabe sat on the coffee table, gently breathing. His knuckles were still bleeding from punching the mirror.

  “You need to get those fixed,” I said.

  “Tomorrow. Always tomorrow.”

  “Shit. Yeah, right.”

  I showed Gabe the note I had found. He hugged me. We kept hugging. Swaying left to right.

  “Thank you, brother,” Gabe said. “You fixed me.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “For giving me a chance to relax. I don’t know what to do about Lily.”

  “Tomorrow,” Gabe said. “I’m telling you, man. You think she would really fuck someone else?”

  I broke the hug and blinked fast.

  I suddenly didn’t want to be high anymore.

  “What?” I asked.

  “It’s Lily,” Gabe said with a grin. “That’s your girl, man. Like Alice to me. That’s my girl. That’s why she puts up with it all. I’d never hurt her. I love her, man. Fuck, where did she go?”

  Alice was upstairs, cleaning the destroyed bathroom.

  I felt terrible for her. I felt terrible for Lily.

  Alice said Lily had come looking for me when Gabe and I went on our ride.

  I stood up.

  The room swayed.

  Holy fuck, the room was moving.

  I put my arms out and gathered my balance.

  Gabe laughed. “Yeah, man. Ride that fucking wave, bro. Ride it hard. Ride it like some bitch you just met and you’ll never see again.”

  Gabe started to laugh.

  It echoed in my head.

  “No,” I said. “I don’t want it, Gabe. Make it all stop. I fucked up. I need to get to Lily.”

  “Tomorrow,” Gabe said. “You two just cool off. She ain’t fucking nobody else.”

  I looked back at Gabe. He was already started to put together another dose of his medicine, as he put it.

  “Gabe…”

  “Just listen to me,” Gabe said. “Some guy texting her? Think about that. Some fucking punk who doesn’t even have the balls to make a run at her. And what if he did? Lily would punch him in the balls. Then call you. And then you’d kill him.”

  I side-stepped.

  I felt like shit. I hated the feeling. I forgot that I actually hated the feeling of being high. I only accepted it before because it was the only thing that accepted me. But not now. I had reason to fight against it. But the venom was in my body. The venom was climbing through my veins.

  I walked to the door and fell against it.

  I turned, my back to the wall.

  I couldn’t let Lily see me like this, though. I needed to let the night go. Listen to Gabe. Tomorrow. I’d fix everything tomorrow. And I’d tell her what I had done. No lies. No secrets. Lily would not become Alice.

  Shutting my eyes, I forced myself to calm down. Getting high and freaking out was a dangerous thing. It was best to stay calm. Realize it would all just pass with time. Nothing else mattered. It was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay.

  “Be okay,” I whispered. “All be okay… okay…”

  I heard a sound. A cross between a hiccup and growl.

  I opened my eyes and saw Gabe.

  A face I would never forget.

  His eyes so wide, it seemed impossible. His entire body convulsing. I looked at his arm.

  “Gabe!” I yelled.

  He jumped and flopped to the floor.

  “No! Alice!”

  I screamed for her over and over as I ran to Gabe. By the time I dropped to my knees and rolled him to his side it was too late. Way too fucking late. I scooped him up and pulled him against my chest.

  “Brother!” I screamed. “No!”

  “What is it?” Alice yelled as she ran through the living room.

  “He went twice,” I said. “Twice!”

  “Fuck,” Alice said.

  She was so calm. So casual.

  She called the police. She called for help.

  Then she lit a cigarette and slowly sat down in a chair.

  I held Gabe, rocking him, wishing I could feel him breathe on my cheek.

  But he didn’t. He wasn’t breathing.

  “Alice,” I said. “What do we do?”

  She just turned her head. “He got what he wanted…”

  In the blink of an eye, I lost my brother and Alice was a widow.

  Minutes later, EMTs busted through the door but there was nothing they could do. Police followed next. I was put in cuffs because I said it was my stuff. Which was true. I bought the shit. I bought the demon that killed my brother.

  They walked me out of the house just as a car pulled up.

  I watched as Lily emerged from the car, just in time to see me getting put in the back of a police cruiser.

  I screamed for her.

  I screamed I loved her.

  She just looked away.

  Chapter 30

  (Gone)

  FIVE YEARS AGO

  (LILY)

  They were all gone.

  Gabe was gone. Dead.

  I went to the viewing and the funeral.

  Then Alice was gone. She just packed up and left. She wanted nothing to do with me, even though I was pissed at her for not telling me the second Aiden showed up. If she had…I could have…

  My job was gone, too.

  So was Darryl.

  He didn’t want to put up with my shit.

  So, I was alone, again.

  No job. No money. Nobody.

  I left Aiden’s stuff in his drawer, hoping something would happen and he’d get released and come home. But that didn’t happen either.

  Aiden was gone again too.

  They were all fucking gone.

  And all I wanted was to find a way to love them. To fix everything that was wrong.

  I was Aiden’s angel, but he chose the devil instead.

  I told myself right then I would never let Aiden back in my life. No matter what. No matter how much it hurt me. I couldn’t do another five year
s and then have him surprise me. No way. Never. Ever.

  I would let him go. For good.

  And nothing could change that.

  Chapter 31

  (Salt In Your Coffee)

  PRESENT DAY

  (LILY)

  We got slammed from the second the clock ticked to 6 AM. It was like nothing I could remember seeing. I kept asking if the diner had decided to run some special, but there was no reason for it. People just flocked in to order massive amounts of eggs, bacon, sausage, and pancakes. We kind of just stood there and watched it happen, the diner filling up, like we were in some zombie movie, in shock that the undead were taking over.

  Truthfully, the distraction was a beautiful thing.

  My days and nights were consumed by Aiden and his confession. Okay, fine, he said before that Felix may not have been his. That was fine. The fact that he was man enough to help a young boy was heartwarming. But what I didn’t know and what was really getting to me was that he wasn’t sure if he was Felix’s father, but Alice was Felix’s mother. That meant he had a thing for his dead brother’s wife. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  Not to mention the night it all went down.

  Alice calling me to tell me that Aiden had showed up. Getting to the house the first time…

  “Order up!” a voice boomed.

  I turned, grabbed two plates, and went right to work.

  I’d ended up somehow in some managerial role, commanding the waitresses around the diner. Yelling for what orders and who should take them and when. I hurried into the kitchen and helped Dale when I had a minute to breathe. The dishes were backing up, and if we ran out of butter knives, we would have had a mutiny on our hands. I then grabbed the giant container of maple syrup and brought it out front. I went table to table and collected the containers, apologizing, and quickly refilling all of them.

  On top of that, I made sure everyone was topped off with coffee and all my tables were happy and eating.

  There was just something about those couple hours of pure hell that felt good. Like I owned the place. Like I set some goal in my head to ensure everyone was happy and satisfied. Not that it actually mattered. All the money thrown on the tables, counter, or charged on cards did not go into my pocket. I got my measly hourly wage plus whatever tips were left.