Fame, Love, and other Lessons

by Frances, Jo

  As she methodically and deliberately laid out her reasons, Jamie thought that while Liz may seem abrupt, her competence and intelligence was unmistakable, leading to success for her models. And as Liz pointed out, she had been very aggressive in finding out who Jamie was; she was the one who leaked her name to the post. And she, along with everyone who worked for her had the same aggressiveness in finding work for their models.

  At the end of the meeting, Jamie felt she had found her agent, but told Liz she wanted to keep the appointment with the other agency as a courtesy.

  "That's fine, but you need to let me know by tonight, OK? I think I can book you for some work already."

  Jamie met with the other, much bigger agency, but when they couldn't figure out who she was, and who she was supposed to meet with, Jamie quickly left and called Liz from the lobby that she was ready to sign with her.

  Chapter 10

  The flight from New York to L.A. was filled with tourists in coach, mid level businessmen in coach. Ironically, the best seats on the plane were taken by people who felt the seats were beneath them: sullen actors or executives who were pissed off that they were flying with "the public".

  As someone who just three months ago had flown coach to New York, Jamie was probably the most content person on the flight. She looked around and recognized a reality TV star sitting two rows up with her dog, while behind her sat a B list actor enjoying a comeback with his latest movie. On the seat next to her was Tami Hodgegood, the winner of last season's "PopSensation!" Jamie was smiling at the text she had just received from Chase: 'hurry home' illustrated with a deliberately cheesy picture of him: shirtless and holding a fake rose between his teeth.

  "He looks familiar. Who is he?" Tami Hodgegood was looking over her shoulder.

  It was no use being shocked by rudeness anymore, Jamie decided. After seeing how people with even a shred of fame acted, she supposed she should just be glad Tami didn't reach over and take the phone away from her.

  "He's a basketball player for the Waves." She was going to add "my boyfriend" but decided the picture spoke for itself.

  Tami looked at the picture closer. "Oh, I know who that is. Chase Reston, right?"

  "Right."

  Tami laughed knowingly. "Yeah, I know Chase. I've seen him around at a few parties." She glanced over at Jamie. "Do you guys hook up or something when you're in town?"

  Jamie decided not to answer that, but Tami continued anyway. "Are you an actress?"

  "No, I, umm, I'm a model." After three months of working, and even after she had walked Fashion Week in New York and Paris, Jamie still had a hard time considering herself a model.

  "Yeah, I thought so. You're tall and pretty like a model. Skinny too." Tami sat back and lifted the bag she brought on the plane with her. "Takeout from a deli. I'm supposed to lose weight, but I can't. I mean, I've already lost five pounds, and they want me to lose fifteen more." Tami looked over at her again. "I'm Tami, by the way."

  "I know. I'm Jamie."

  Tami took a sip from a bottle of imported water and made a face. "Crap. I want a beer but I know the flight attendant Nazi isn't going to serve me." She looked hopefully at Jamie. "Are you over 21?"

  Jamie shook her head. "Not for another couple of years."

  "Shit, I've got six months to go." She sighed deeply. "Anyway. What were you doing in New York? Do you live there?"

  "I'm kind of homeless right now, actually."

  Tami raised her eyebrows. "And you're flying first class?!" She held up both palms. "Gimme five, girl!"

  They high fived each other, and Jamie decided that Tami was nice enough---just one of those people without a filter. She continued. "I mean, I'm supposed to be back at school in North Carolina in three weeks, but I don't think I'm going to go because I want to keep modeling. My agency is in New York, but that doesn't really matter and my brother is in L.A. so I think my parents would feel a lot better if I lived with him, and my boy---" she stopped, but Tami picked up on this immediately.

  "Your boyfriend lives in L.A., right?" A light bulb went on. "Oh, wait, your boyfriend is Chase Reston!"

  "The one you saw around at parties." Jamie could not keep the sarcasm from her voice.

  Tami rolled her eyes and shrugged indifferently. "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know."

  "That he goes to parties? Yeah, he tells me." Jamie forced a laugh.

  Tami shook her head and smiled back at her. "We've all been there, and I think I'm doomed to having men cheat on me the rest of my life." She brightened. "But you know what? I get it all out in my music. And this song I just recorded, the one my studio really likes is about this last guy who cheated on me." Her voice rose an octave and she became even more animated. "Well, technically he didn't cheat on me because he was already married! And his wife found out and made him stop seeing me! And he did! I won PopSensation, but he gave ME up!" Tami tore open her deli bag. "I mean who does that?"

  "Lots of married men cheat."

  "No, who's married at, like, 25?" This time their laughter was genuine. "But, anyway, fuck it, I got a hit song out of it, that's going to make me mil-lions. So I guess I could say I got the better end of the deal." A flash of raw pain across Tami's eyes told Jamie that she didn't believe that.

  Their conversation moved to what Tami called the "L.A. scene" which would have been depressing if Tami hadn't made the stories of betrayal and being used so funny. The time passed quickly, and as the plane began its descent, Tami wrote down her address. "I'm having a party tomorrow night. You should come. Bring Chase---or not," she winked.

  The house that Steve found for Chase was in Manhattan Beach, a block from the ocean, and within walking distance of several bars. It had a private pool with a Jacuzzi, high walls and a gate, and large master suite. In short, it was perfect.

  The house was dark when Jamie let herself in with her key, and Chase was already in bed asleep, so Jamie took a quick shower before getting into bed with him. She stayed on the other side of the bed, trying not to disturb him, but Chase stirred and pulled her towards him. She nestled herself into his chest and tried to forget what Tami had said out of her mind.

  An hour later, Jamie was still awake, while next to her, Chase had fallen back into a deep sleep.

  Then she looked past him and saw his phone flash. He had just received a text message.

  Hating herself, and heart pounding because of what she might discover, Jamie took his phone into the bathroom. She turned it on and found it was locked---something he had never done before. You can turn back now, she told herself. Instead, she started keying in four digits she thought would be meaningful to Chase---his birthday, his mother's birthday, the last four digits of his phone number---all to no avail. After a few minutes of this, all the while ignoring the voice inside her telling her to stop, Jamie paused, then keyed in the street number to his house.

  It worked. His phone sprang to life, and among the texts from his friends who were still out clubbing, there were two from someone named Eve. The first read, "U make me feel soooo good, and I kno I make u feel good too!" Then the next one, the one that just came in, said, "I want to get you off like last night" and it came with a close up picture of a woman's large breasts.

  Jamie felt sick to her stomach. She had seen similar messages to Chase---random girls sending Twitter messages, trying to get his attention with graphic offers of sex. Even YouTube videos that the Waves had posted would inevitably have several comments begging him to send them a response. They had laughed about it, with Jamie accepting that every athlete, even the married ones, got similar offers. But she couldn't understand how this particular woman had gotten Chase's private number.

  She deleted both messages and put his phone back on the nightstand.

  In the morning, Chase reached for her but she pushed him away and got out of bed. "Let's go and have brunch before the crowds come."

  "Umm...everything OK?" he asked.

  "Yes," she lied. "I just have a lot to do
today."

  As the food was served, they still hadn't said much to each other. Chase asked her about her trip, her work. Then, after a few minutes of one-word answers to his questions, he looked across the table at her, trying to hide his frustration. "You're quiet this morning." he said.

  There was no denying that, she had been that way all morning. "I'm just thinking about what I want to do, that's all." This was the truth, but not all of it. Jamie had not been able to shake the feeling she'd had after talking to Tami and obviously, she couldn't tell him about looking at his phone. She had spent the morning trying to justify his behavior to herself. She knew that Chase went out to clubs and parties; that was to be expected. But there was a mocking tone in Tami's words that implied he was doing a lot more.

  And yet...didn't Chase deserve her trust? He already had to change his number once, right after he moved to L.A. Between calls from people he barely knew asking for things, and people he didn't know at all, Chase had to get a more private number. So did the booty-call woman from last night have his number because he gave it to her, or because she had gotten hold of it another way. Jamie knew she had to at least give him the benefit of the doubt. She tried to smile across the table. "I'm just out of it because I don't think I'm going to go back to school, and now I have to decide where I'm going to live."

  Relief flooded his face. "How about living with me?" Chase said it half jokingly, but Jamie was tempted to see what his reaction would be if she took him up on his offer.

  "Really?"

  Chase chewed on a piece of toast, still not serious. "Why not? You already have a key."

  Jamie had to laugh. "First of all, I'm only nineteen years old, and I am not going to," she used air quotes, " 'shack up' with someone, let alone my twenty-one year old pro basketball player boyfriend. And second of all," she grew serious. "I could never do that to my parents."

  Frowning, Chase asked, "What does my playing basketball have to do with anything?"

  There was an edge to Jamie's voice when she answered, "Well, guys in the NBA aren't exactly known for being faithful. And you're young."

  Chase shook his head as if trying to clear it. "Where did that come from?" he asked defensively. When Jamie merely shrugged, Chase sat up. "Wait a minute. So you're telling me that if your brother was in the NBA now, and he was with someone he really loved; you're saying he would cheat on her?"

  Jamie thought about this. She really couldn't see Luke doing that. He played around a lot when he was single, but never when he was in a relationship. So, "no, my brother wouldn't, but---"

  "But you're saying I would." Anger flashed in Chase's eyes. "Why? What's the difference between your brother and me?" As she struggled whether to tell him what she had found on his phone, Chase took the silence to mean something else. "Here, let me answer that for you; your brother wouldn't do that because he comes from a family where morals are taught about not living with someone. And obviously I don't."

  "Don't bring my family into this." Jamie felt her face redden.

  "Don't treat me like I'm some scum from the street."

  She delivered the insult anyway. "Well, have you cheated on me?"

  The muscles around Chase's jaw tightened. "If you thought that, then why would you be with me?" he said through gritted teeth.

  An old trick. "Don't turn this around, Chase. Just answer the question."

  "No. I don't have to answer shit." He looked away then, and Jamie knew the conversation was over. She stood up, and took the key out of her pocket.

  "Don't---" Chase began, looking at the key she dropped on the table.

  "I'm going to my brother's now." Jamie walked out of the restaurant as calmly as she could. Behind her, Chase pocketed the key and stared out at the ocean.

  Chapter 11

  For the first time since she began driving the LA freeways, Jamie was glad there was traffic. It gave her a chance to stop crying and pull herself together before she got to Luke's apartment in Century City. However, one look at her puffy face, and her brother knew immediately what had happened.

  "You guys broke up."

  Jamie nodded mutely, headed to the guest bedroom and shut the door. After a few minutes, she heard a tap on the door.

  "Hey, J, I'm going to go golf a few rounds. Are you going to be OK?"

  "I'll be fine. Oh, wait!" she opened the door. "Do you want to go to a party tonight? I meant Tami Hodgegood on the plane and she invited me to a party at her house."

  Luke gave her one of his you-never-cease-to-amaze-me looks. "Hell, yeah," he said. "It's about time I went to a Hollywood party." He looked at her closely. "I can blow off Zimmer, if you want me to."

  Jamie forced herself to smile because she knew Luke would worry about leaving her. "No, I have to call home anyway. I think...I've decided that I'm not going back to school, and it's probably better that you aren't around to hear them yell at me."

  Luke couldn't conceal his own disappointment. "Aww, Jamie, are you sure? I mean, since you guys broke up anyway..."

  "Luke, it was never about Chase, but I'm glad that mom and dad won't have him to blame." She remembered their argument and felt a stab of guilt. "Anyway, just go, OK? We can talk on the way to the party."

  After Luke left, Jamie poured herself a glass of orange juice from the fridge and sat outside on the balcony. I may as well do everything I can to soothe myself, she thought, before picking up the phone and dialing. As expected, her mother blamed her decision on her relationship with Chase.

  "I realize you're in love now, and this is all very exciting, but this isn't...this isn't how we raised you."

  Jamie was about to explain that Chase wasn't even a factor, but something made her want to know more. "What do you mean, mom? Like I'm loose?"

  "I would never refer to you in those terms, and don't you ever think of yourself like that." Frances lashed out. "What I meant was, you weren't raised to be dependent on a man, and we don't want you to rely on anyone but yourself....and perhaps your family." she sniffed. "Honey, you could be dating the Prince of England right now, and I'd still want you to finish school."

  She knew this was true. "Well mom, I wish the Prince of England were available because Chase and I broke up." There was a shocked silence on the other end. Finally her mother spoke.

  "Ohh, Jamie. I am so, so sorry." As only a mother could, Frances could break the barriers Jamie had put up to hold herself together. To her own surprise, Jamie felt her self-control dissolve and the sense of loss she felt threaten to overtake her. Her mother listened in helpless silence as Jamie sobbed over the phone; huge, racking sobs that she had never heard from her daughter before.

  After Jamie had cried herself hoarse, she asked to talk to her father. Peter Cameron seemed to be the most disappointed about her decision than anyone. This made her feel even worse, but she also knew that her dad would listen to reason. "Dad, I know you want me to be independent, but you don't realize that I already am."

  "Flying around the world and living across the country from your family doesn't make you independent." His disapproval dripped through the phone.

  "No, dad. I'm talking about my job, my career."

  On the other side of the phone, her father made a dismissive sound.

  This stung, but Jamie forced herself to remember that she was talking to a businessman, and that she needed to proceed with a rational argument instead of getting defensive. "Dad, why does a career have to involve a college degree? Do you know that I have made enough this summer to put myself through school for the next three years? Just because this industry is superficial, doesn't mean it isn't a business." Her father's silence meant that she at least had his attention. "Dad, one of the reasons I've done so well, why people want to keep working with me is because of what you've taught us. I show up on time---"

  "which is five minutes early," interrupted Peter.

  "---which is five minutes early. I do the best job I can and I'm a professional." She could sense him really listening to her now. "And it's
so easy because I'm surrounded by idiot girls who can't figure that out!" Instead of a snort, she heard her father laugh. "Dad, did you hear me when I told you I've made enough this summer to pay for the rest of my college tuition?"

  "Really?" He sounded doubtful. "Tuition this year is---"

  "No dad. Not for a year. All the way through school." Beaming with pride, she gave her father the amount she had earned. Pushing past the shocked silence, Jamie continued. "And I've been very careful with my money. But the money just tells me that this is something I'm good at, dad. And I don't know why I have to give up something I'm good at, and getting well paid for, just to go back to school and find something I'm not as good at, and won't get paid as well for."

  "Well." Jamie knew she had at least earned her father's respect, if not his approval, with that one word. "I'm relieved that this is something you want to do for yourself, then. How about a compromise? How about you take a leave of absence from school for a year, or you apply to school out there."

  "I'm not sure I'm going to live in L.A., dad."

  "Well, where else would you live?"

  "In New York. That's where my agency is."

  Her mother, who had her ear pressed to the phone, began protesting in the background. "Absolutely not, Peter! She can not live in New York by herself. She should live in L.A. where Luke can keep an eye out for her, and they can help each other."

  "Your mother--"

  Jamie laughed, relieved that they were now discussing where she should live, and not whether she should go back to school. "I heard her. OK, I'll ask Luke if I can stay with him."

  "Doesn't he have a two bedroom apartment?" Her mother again, in the background.

  Fortunately, her dad put a quick end to the discussion. "He is entitled to his own life, Frances, and he is old enough to live on his own. So they should talk and we'll move on from there." To Jamie: "anything else, then?"