Undertow

by J. M. Snyder

  On its own, one of Derek’s hands reached out to brush the hair from Kellen’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Derek tried.

  The apology seemed so inadequate. With a snort, Kellen asked, “For what?”

  For tying you up, Derek wanted to say, but right on the heels of that thought, another took its place, and he found himself opening to Kellen in a way he’d never cared to before. If it gets me Tad…in a whisper, he admitted, “For not feeling the same way about you as you do for me.”

  Kellen grunted and turned away—Derek touched his cheek, flinching at the pain in his fingertips, and swam into Kellen’s line of vision. The merrow’s eyes were downcast, refusing to meet his. Derek ducked lower, hoping to see that pale gaze turn toward him. Softly he stroked Kellen’s cheek; the touch of their flesh was electric, heating the water around them. “That command,” he murmured. “I didn’t know—”

  “What?” Kellen spat. He struggled against the kelp holding him tight. “That it’d work so well? Got what you wanted, didn’t you? Got away.”

  But Derek shook his head. He moved closer, until his body pressed against the kelp binding Kellen’s chest. “I didn’t know it only worked on someone who loved me.”

  Kellen turned away, disgust on his face, but not before Derek saw a flash of something bright and painful in his eyes. “Kellen, please. I swear, I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Leave me alone.” Kellen’s teeth snapped at Derek’s hand but closed over empty water. He struggled again with his bonds, his legs kicking Derek’s thighs as he tried to move away. “I don’t want to hear your apologies, Dere. I don’t want your sympathy. You left me—”

  “I know,” Derek agreed, cradling Kellen’s face in his hands.

  Kellen wrested free. “I kept waiting for you to come back.” He bit at Derek’s fingers when they found his face again. “Get your hands off me. I thought we had something between us but I was wrong. All I wanted was for you to love me.”

  “I know,” Derek said again. His hands brushed over Kellen’s cheeks, skimmed through the strands of his hair. He stroked the tender gill slits on Kellen’s neck, then trailed one hand over the broad expanse of his chest. Watching the patterns his fingers traced in Kellen’s scales, Derek murmured, “I’m so sorry I never felt the same way. All I ever wanted was to leave the ocean behind. I know you can’t understand that, but I was just meant to be someone else. And I’m so sorry it wasn’t someone in love with you.”

  Beneath his gentle touch, the muscles in Kellen’s jaw clenched, unwilling to give. A heartfelt plea crept into Derek’s voice. “I need your help, Kellen. I need…” He raised his gaze to meet the merrow’s for the first time, and the pain he felt inside over losing Tad was mirrored in Kellen’s sea-green eyes. “I need you.”

  Before Kellen could respond, Derek placed a hand on the back of the merrow’s head and pulled him down, toward him. Derek leaned into the hard body, one arm around Kellen’s neck, the other around his shoulders, clinging to him as he raised his face towards Kellen’s. A gasp escaped Kellen, barely audible—Derek licked it away, then ran his tongue over the merrow’s thin lips.

  A charge shot through him, from his mouth down through his body to coil at his dick. He went from half-aroused to rock solid in the time it took for his lips to close over Kellen’s. Rubbing his crotch against Kellen, Derek moaned into him as he kissed the merrow for the first time, really kissed him, in the loving way Tad had taught him. It started with a glance of his tongue over Kellen’s teeth, then he delved into the warm darkness of the merrow’s mouth. He licked slowly along the front of Kellen’s teeth, just inside his lip, then dove farther, demanding more. The hand on the back of Kellen’s head held him steady as Derek licked into him, pouring everything he had into this one hungry moment. All the love he felt for Tad, all the emotions swirling inside of him, all the regret and remorse he felt over Kellen, the desperation and loneliness of the past few months, everything went into that one breathless kiss.

  After a slight hesitation, Kellen began to kiss him back. Derek’s tongue massaged Kellen’s, tasting the merrow’s salty cheeks, relearning the curve of his mouth. Derek’s flesh recalled the press of this body against his, and he moved against Kellen with a sudden, ardent desire. I could have loved you, Derek thought as he opened himself up to Kellen. But such a life would have never made him happy, and his discontent would have stifled them both.

  Their kiss deepened; behind Kellen’s back, Derek’s hands worked at the strands of kelp, untying the knots he’d fastened himself not a half hour earlier. When he loosened the bonds around Kellen’s chest, the merrow flexed and broke through the kelp. His arms came up around Derek’s waist to hold him close and he pinned Derek’s tongue to the roof of his mouth, stroking it with his own tongue, savoring it, suckling it, making love to him with his lips alone.

  Together they floated to the sea floor, Derek pinned beneath Kellen’s weight. His whole body trembled in the merrow’s arms, and his legs parted to wrap around Kellen’s waist, fastening them together. When he felt a hard shaft prod between his buttocks, his grip on Kellen grew tighter, and he hugged his friend to him, eager to feel that thick erection pierce him once more. “Please,” he gasped, the words kissed from his lips. His mind had turned off, his body taking over. Every nerve begged for release, every synapse overloaded, every hair on edge. He wanted, needed, this. “Kellen, God, please.”

  Derek felt the sandy bottom of the ocean against his back and Kellen above him, poised to enter him, when the merrow froze a second time. Derek almost sobbed in desire. “Please,” he breathed.

  Kellen’s lips brushed his ear. “Listen to me if you want him back,” he said, his voice low and terse.

  There was a sadness in his words, a direct contrast to the clasp of his hands and the cock throbbing beneath Derek’s ass. Derek’s body tensed, waiting for a penetration that never came. Instead, Kellen nuzzled Derek’s ear and sighed, his breath filling Derek up inside like dry, lonely wind. “Give me ten minutes,” Kellen told him. Before Derek could question him, he hurried on. “Then follow. Swim straight for the soul cage, do you hear me? Don’t linger, don’t look around, don’t stop for anything you might see or hear. Got that?”

  Derek nodded. “Yes.”

  Kellen’s steady gaze met Derek’s—this close, he could count every blond hair in the merrow’s arched brows, every pore on his thin nose, every scale on his broad forehead. When he reached up to run a hand through Kellen’s floating hair, his old friend’s eyes closed, savoring the touch. Something akin to pain flashed across his face and was gone. “Go straight to the cage,” he whispered, “open it. Take your human and go, as fast as you can, back to the surface. Back to your world. Understand?”

  “Yes,” Derek said, more sure this time. “But aren’t we going to—”

  Kellen silenced him with one last, soulful kiss that pressed him to the sand. Pleasure shot through him, warming his blood, igniting his libido, pounding in his cock before spiraling down his legs to curl the wispy fins that extended from his twin tails. For a moment he felt Kellen swell against him and he clenched his sphincter, trying to draw him in. Please, he wanted to cry. His body ached for this merrow holding him.

  Then, without another word, Kellen’s arms loosened and he was gone.

  Chapter 11

  Derek lay on the bottom of the ocean, a chilly current flowing over him where moments ago, warm flesh had pressed to his. The water cooled the fire that burned within him, turning his desire to so much damp ash which churned in him like regret. He’d been willing to give Kellen what he wanted to get Tad back, but after all this time, the merrow’s longing hadn’t been for Derek’s body—it’d been for his love. “I should have loved you,” he whispered into the silence of the kelp bed.

  The faint current washed his words out to sea.

  Derek counted two full minutes as he willed his erection away. His body, buffeted by the cool water, lost its lustful yearning soon enough; his erection wilted, his dic
k sinking between his legs like a burrowing animal going to ground, and the tremors of pain that had wracked his muscles while Kellen held him dissolved into phantom aches like remnants of a bad dream. As if it came from a vast distance away, the ring began to pulse again—or maybe it had been doing so all along, and Derek only now realized it.

  Either way, its signal spurred him into action. In a swirl of sand, he pushed off the sea floor and swam in a frenzy among the kelp, using the green fronds to brush Kellen’s touch from his body. I didn’t mean it, Tad, he thought, rubbing at his arms and legs, trying to make himself clean for his lover, trying to make himself new. In his mind, he spoke to Tad as if he were there beside him, his dark eyes hard and judgmental—as if he’d seen Derek lying with Kellen moments before. I should have loved him, yes, but the simple fact of the matter is that I don’t. I never have. I never could. I love you.

  Amid the flurry of movement he’d started, Derek dashed from the thicket of kelp, leaving the green strands to dance in his wake. By the time he reached the Hellcat, ten minutes would have passed, giving Kellen enough time to confine his bitch of a bride so Derek could free Tad. With a swish of his tails, he pushed off a nearby rock formation and darted back to the wreck.

  * * * *

  Heeding Kellen’s words, Derek swam straight for the Hellcat without bothering to slow down or assess the situation. His eyes darted from side to side, trying to see everything at once, but he seemed to be alone. The only evidence that remained of Merla’s earlier tirade was her red comb, lying forgotten in the sand. Derek swam over the ground, low enough to brush against the comb as he passed, but she didn’t swoop down on him, scratching and biting again. He dared to snag the comb in one hand, capturing it; again, nothing.

  He was quite alone.

  He slowed, wary, and let the comb fall back to the sea floor. No shrieking banshee came howling out from the cockpit; he turned, but she wasn’t swimming up behind him, either. She was no where to be seen. Derek dared to swim closer to the Hellcat’s wing, anticipating the scratch of claw-like nails down his back at any moment, but they never came.

  In a soft whisper, Derek called out, “Kellen?”

  His old friend was also missing. Fear seized Derek’s heart—what if this were some cruel joke? If, just when he’d been willing to give himself to Kellen, the merrow saw an opportunity for further exploitation and left, taking Tad and Merla with him, to haunt Derek again at a later date? Derek shot across the debris field, ducking under the plane’s wing, arms outstretched. “No,” he whispered, as his hands closed over nothing but empty water. “No—”

  Then his fingers brushed against solid wood. With a sigh of relief, Derek sank to the sand as he patted the soul cage to prove to himself it was still there. Skirting it, he found the knothole he’d opened before, and he pressed his ear against the opening as he held his breath, hoping, praying, waiting to hear…

  A faint sigh, barely there but God, it was a heavenly sound that flooded him with a tidal wave of emotions, leaving him weak with relief, with love. Placing his lips against the hole, he murmured, “Tad, I’m here. I’m going to take you home.”

  Somewhere behind him, he heard a girlish giggle that turned his blood to ice. Merla.

  He whirled around, but he was still alone. Her voice came from the other side of the plane’s wreckage—another giggle, then, “Oh, Kelly. Oh, yes, yes. Right there. Mmm yes.”

  A deeper laugh rumbled over hers, a sound Derek would recognize anywhere. Kellen. The merrow’s words came back to him, Don’t linger, don’t look around…

  But Merla’s breathless gasp made him curious. Silently he glided to the Hellcat, then raised his head over the rusted metal rim that lined the cockpit. He saw nothing but the inside of the plane—the leather seat had long since deteriorated, eaten away by bacteria and passing fish, leaving behind just a skeletal frame where the pilot once sat. Crawling into the cockpit, Derek stretched across the seat, keeping down out of sight, then peered over the far side of the plane.

  There on the sand, Merla lay pinned in the same position Derek had been not long before, with Kellen stretched above her. One of her hands tugged at a short tuft of sea grass; the other dug deep scratches into Kellen’s back. Her legs were wrapped around Kellen’s waist, just as Derek’s had been, ankles crossed, fins curling and unfurling at the sensations he knew must be flowing through her body. Kellen’s head was buried between her small, pert breasts, the same tongue that had kissed Derek so tenderly now licking around one of Merla’s nipples. He caught the enflamed bud between his teeth and elicited another breathless giggle from her. She arched beneath him, hair billowing around them like dark storm clouds. “Yes,” she cried, “yes!”

  Don’t stop for anything you might see or hear.

  The words resurfaced in Derek’s mind; he heard Kellen’s voice and started, sure the merrow was speaking out loud, addressing him, sure he’d been seen. But the merrish lovers were locked in their passionate embrace, and when Derek saw Kellen’s buttocks clench, gearing up to thrust into Merla, he didn’t want to see any more. As he exited the plane, he caught a fin on the buckle of the pilot’s harness—the straps had corroded away, but the metal buckle clattered to the floor of the cockpit. Derek froze, sure he’d been heard …

  But the cry that came from the couple below was only Merla’s lusty shout as Kellen entered her. It rose to a fever pitch, then shattered into a series of short, fast pants, uh uh uh, punctuated now and then by “please,” and “Kelly,” and “YES!” Her gasps and Kellen’s hoarse grunts made Derek’s cock tingle with renewed interest, and his thoughts turned to his own lover.

  Tad.

  Pushing away from the Hellcat, Derek dove beneath the plane’s wing and touched the soul cage. He had to work quickly—would she somehow know when the soul cage was opened? How long would Kellen be able to distract her? With a grin, Derek wondered, How long does a good fuck last?

  His hands found the gold clasp that kept the cage shut. Though the metal should have deterred the merrow in him, Derek pressed his left hand to the door without incident. When Tad’s ring touched the lock, the clasp sprang open on its own. Yanking the door aside, Derek reached into the darkness of the cage—the air inside whooshed out as water flooded in, but he felt long strands of dry hair, ears and a nose and a chin, then a solid, warm body beneath his touch. Working blindly, Derek fumbled his hands into Tad’s armpits, then swam back, freeing his lover from his prison.

  When Tad’s shoes cleared the door of the soul cage, Derek swam over his lover and almost fainted from the sudden desire roaring through him. Skin he never thought he’d feel again warmed beneath his fingers, and familiar dark eyes blinked open, seeking his. For one heart-stopping moment, the two men stared at each other, human and merrow, connected by something as insubstantial—and as indestructible—as love. “Tad,” Derek sighed. Within him, every ounce of his being crowed in triumph, mirroring Merla’s throes of lust she shrieked into the sea.

  Then those bright eyes squinted shut against the briny water. Those chapped pink lips parted in a gasp; fear flickered over Tad’s flawless features as he breathed in and lungs filled with water. Derek pulled him close, aching to hold this man again, arms cradling him as he covered Tad’s mouth with his own. Drawing water in through his gills, Derek blew life-giving air into his lover. The kiss of breath, worlds more intimate than the kiss he’d given Kellen earlier, than any kiss he’d ever bestowed before in his life, upon anyone. Again and again, he breathed for his lover; he felt Tad’s body relax, and arms he had never dared believe he would feel once more in this lifetime hugged him close.

  Holding Tad tightly, breathing for them both, Derek headed back to land.

  * * * *

  Once they cleared the breakers, Derek let the waves wash them ashore. On the beach he dragged Tad up past the tide line and rolled him onto his back, lying beside his lover as he tried to catch his breath. The gills along his neck gaped once, twice, trying to suck in air as water, then clo
sed up, allowing his lungs to fill with heavy, salt-laced air. Above, a sliver of the moon winked down at them through scuttling clouds racing across the deep night sky. The waves crashing around Derek’s legs were capped with silver foam that rinsed the scales from his skin. His fins faded into his legs and arms; his flippers tightened, retreating into toes that dug through the wet sand. The next breeze that blew over his shoulders chilled him, despite the change in his blood raising his body temperature to a standard 98.6 degrees.

  He was human again.

  His head rested on Tad’s shoulder, his left hand clenched in his lover’s wet shirt. In the moonlight, the ring on his finger flashed once and a mild shock ran through him; then the gold dulled and his skin paled again, the pain faded. Its magic was spent. He knew it would never allow him to return to the water as a merrow. He was stuck in this form, on this land, forever.

  With Tad beside him. Derek could ask for nothing more.

  Next to him, his lover began to cough. Crawling on top of Tad, Derek stroked his damp cheeks, brushed the wet hair from his face, peered at eyes that were still shut tight against the night. “Tad?” He huffed into Tad’s face, trying to warm him with his breath, but the body under his began to shiver. “Tad? Don’t do this to me. Come on, baby, say something. I’m not ready to lose you all over again.”

  Another cough, this time bringing up a rush of water, and those eyes flew open. Wild and dark, they calmed the moment Tad recognized him. “Dere—”

  A fit of coughing cut him off. Derek helped him sit and pounded a hand flat against Tad’s back to help clear his lungs. “It’s all right now,” he murmured, rubbing that hand over Tad’s wet jacket. The breeze licking along his own nude body reminded him Tad needed to get out of those clothes, and now. While Derek’s merrish blood made him impervious to the cold, Tad wasn’t quite as fortunate, and the chills wracking his body frightened Derek. Working the jacket off Tad’s shoulders, Derek cooed, “Let’s warm you up a bit. You doing okay?”