Nerdboobs (A Warrior and Nerd Journey Book 1)

by T. M. Grinsley

  “What are you two up to?” Ryan yelled out.

  I shook my head and looped my arm through Taylor’s. “Not telling you, asshole.”

  “You will never know, peckerhead!” Taylor shouted.

  It was nearly dusk when dinner was served, and everyone changed into fresh clothes. Finishing the last of the fish, my hands started to itch and feel weird. About an hour ago I noticed they started to get red, but didn’t think anything about it. Rubbing my hands on my pants, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Leigh Ann handed me a small bottle of itching cream. Lathering my hands with cream, the itch started to subside and I went about my night.

  “You ready for tomorrow?” Someone from the group asked me. While engaging in small talk with him, I noticed John and Ryan kept itching their crotch. At first they scratched every few minutes, but now that wasn’t the case. Why are they... Oh shit! “Hey Taylor, we may have a problem.”

  She was immersed in a conversation with an elderly gentleman about the Vietnam War, when I grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

  “Chill, Fuzzy. What’s going on?”

  “You know how I rubbed their briefs in the dirt and everything, but I started to itch about an hour ago?” I showed Taylor my hands, and she noticed how red they were.

  “Brianna, you didn't?” Taylor had a worried expression on her face, and turned to look at the guys. “You rubbed their drawers in poison ivy?”

  “SHH! I didn't mean to! I normally know what that plant looks like, but I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn't pay attention.” Poor guys, they were wearing briefs laced with poison ivy.

  “I think I have some ointment in my bag. You go grab the medicine, while I get the guys.”

  Taylor ran off to our tent, while I went to tell the guys what I did. How in the world do you bring this up? ‘Hey guys, your underwear is laced with poison ivy, and it’s all my fault.’ ‘So guys, the reason you are itching so much.’ Every scenario in my head sounded horrid and pathetic. I wrung my hands together and was not looking forward to this. Ryan was going to be furious, and John might try to kill me.

  I reached the guys and noticed John had his hands down his pants trying to itch himself. “Dude why the hell does this itch so bad? It fucking hurts.”

  The guys didn't notice me approach until I tripped over a log and fell onto Ryan's lap. “Well hey, gorgeous, falling for me already?”

  Why me? Why did I get cursed with the klutz gene? I pushed myself off Ryan's lap and tried to look at anything but him. “So… I need to tell you something.”

  Ryan’s smile fell and he rose from his seat with a serious look on his face. “What's wrong, Brianna?”

  “Well, you see… Taylor and I wanted to have a little fun… and well… I didn’t know the berry bush…”

  “I got the cream!” Taylor emerged from our tent and ran towards us. “Did you tell them about the poison ivy yet?”

  Three. Two. One. “WHAT?” The guys said at the same time. Ryan dropped me on the ground, and my poor tailbone protested in agony. Not once did it act up on the trip. I stood up and rubbed my backside, hoping I didn’t have permanent damage.

  “I was trying to tell you, but well, it is kind of funny.” I took one look at Ryan and something told me I needed to run. Taylor and I took one look at each other and ran.

  “Get back here, woman!” Ryan and John followed suit. Dodging trees and jumping over twigs, we made our way towards the river. If we used fresh water to clean off their peckers and put cream on right away, they should be good to go by morning.

  “Taylor, stop! My hand is itching to punish your ass!” John called out from behind us.

  She looked over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

  We reached the edge of the river, and were trapped. We could swim across and wait for the guys to cool off or suffer through the lecture we were sure to get. Or who knows what the guys planned.

  “Swim across?” Taylor asked.

  “Swim across.”

  We both dove into the water and swam as fast as we could to the other side. The water felt amazing on our heated skins. Not to mention, it felt fantastic on my hands.

  “Brianna, get your ass back here, woman. What the hell did you do to us?” Ryan was furious and rightly so.

  “I just wanted to have a little fun. Didn't realize I rubbed your briefs near a poison ivy plant.”

  Once the guys realized what happened, they took off their pants and were butt naked on the other side of the river. They dove into the water and headed our way.

  “Not gonna lie, this may be the best night of my life,” Taylor said, getting out of the water and plopping on the ground. “Two naked men heading our way and needing ointment for their peckers. Who would have thought this would happen?”

  The guys reached us in no time and were soaking wet, glaring at us. “Give us the ointment, Brianna.”

  I flashed a wicked grin at Taylor and hoped she knew what I was planning. “Will do, on one condition.”

  “And that is?” John asked, annoyed.

  I put my hand out for Taylor to give me the ointment. This was a ballsy move, but hey you only live once, right?

  “We get to put it on you.” Both the guys’ faces were stunned. John’s mouth was wide open, while Ryan had a cocky look on his face.

  “Deal. But when I am healed, gorgeous, you are fucking mine. You will not be able to walk for weeks.” Ryan said, with heat in his eyes. Knots formed in my stomach and my inner vixen was already imagining him having his way with me.

  “I would like to see you try, cowboy.”

  The guys headed our way in all their glory and let Taylor and I get to work. We lathered our hands with cream and coated each guy’s pecker and balls. I could see a few welts starting to form, and I began to feel bad. This was not how this was supposed to go.

  “Fuck, woman. I’m hard as a Goddamn rock and can't do shit about it!” John yelled at Taylor. “But know, once I’m healed, that ass is mine. I'm tying you to the fucking bed and making you wish I stopped.”

  Taylor lightly flicked the tip of his penis and had an evil look. “Trust me handsome; I can take whatever you got.”

  I tuned them both out and rolled my eyes, leave it to her to find her other half. They were ridiculous. Bringing my attention back to Ryan, I had to agree with Taylor. Even with a poison ivy fiasco, this was a fun night.

  “If you continue doing that, I will cum in your hand.” Ryan teased. I continued stroking him and figured what the hell. After what I just did, he should get something out of this.

  “Just to let you know, Fuzzy, this is the weirdest thing I have ever done. We are both giving men hand jobs right next to each other.” Leave it to her to point out the obvious.

  “When in Rome, mom always says.”

  After a few minutes, both guys got a happy ending and were fully lathered in ointment. The guys stayed put to let the ointment do its job, while we ran back to camp to get dry clothes. We may be enjoying seeing their goods, but the temperature was starting to drop, and they would need something to keep warm. After changing out of our wet clothes, we packed a bag with clean clothes and headed back to the guys. Ryan told me he had waterproof shorts they could wear so that they could head back to camp, and the water wouldn't wash off the ointment.

  Tossing the bag across the river to give the guys their shorts, I headed back to camp and sat next to the fire. The cold weather was starting to come in, and I was freezing. Staring into the fire and trying to keep my teeth from chattering, I felt my all too familiar blanket wrap around my shoulders. “Why don't you join me in my tent tonight? Taylor will be with John, and I don't want you anywhere else, but with me.”

  Grabbing the edges of my blanket, I looked up at a half naked Ryan. My heart swelled inside, but still had a few walls up. Every minute I spent with him, my walls started to tumble down.

  “There better be no funny business,” I said.

  Ryan chuckle
d softly and shook his head. “Leave it to you to think like that. I am exhausted and want to hold my woman. Now, move.”

  I got up to head to my tent when he smacked my ass. Normally that wouldn't turn me on, but man if only he wasn't lathered in ointment right now and didn’t have welts all over his pecker.

  Changing into my Star Wars version of Soft Kitty from Big Bang Theory PJs, I headed to Ryan’s tent. He would get a kick out of my outfit right now. Instead of my shirt copying Soft Kitty from Big Bang, it said Soft Wookiee and had a cute animated version of Chewie. I also rocked a pair of booty shorts that said bite me on the butt.

  I barely made it inside his tent, when I heard Ryan laugh. “Do you own any normal shirts?”

  I gave him my best smile and snuggled up to him. “Do not mock Soft Wookiee. This shirt is amazing, and you are just jealous. And to answer your question, yes I do, but where is the fun in that? You have yet to see the best ones.”

  Ryan wrapped his arms around me and he pulled me flush against his side. “You are one of a kind, woman. No wonder I can't let you go.”

  I hoped he was right, because right now my heart was falling for him all over again.

  CHAPTER 7

  “Morning Guys!” Ryan stood by the edge of the river with a paddle resting on his shoulder. Since last night, Ryan couldn't keep his hands off me. I woke up snuggled to his chest with his tent pole standing at attention. I laughed at his goofy grin and sprinted out of the tent before he could rope me into taking care of it.

  Last night was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. I felt horrible for what happened, but Ryan assured me it was ok. He may have cracked a few jokes, but not once did he make me feel bad.

  Jumping up and down, I was ready for what lay ahead. Today we were water rafting back to the resort, and I was anxious to get started. I tried my best to keep my excitement down, but that was impossible. I wore my favorite “I washed up like this” shirt and black spandex shorts. My thick brown hair was thrown up in a messy bun, and I was ready to get wet. Not in that way, I mean water wet.

  “Have a good night, Brianna?” Taylor winked. “Ryan can't keep his dreamy brown eyes off you. He looks like he is undressing you with his eyes.”

  Rolling my eyes, I flipped her off and went back to watching Ryan. “You are one to talk. You slept with John last night.”

  “Actually, I didn't. We talked for a few, then he sort of freaked out and left. I don't know what happened. We were having such a good time.”

  Wrapping my arms around Taylor, I did my best to help her out. “After last night, maybe he needed to cool off. Besides men are confusing as hell. One minute they want to fuck your brains out and the next they ignore you. Just give it time. I’m sure he has a reason for it.”

  “Look at you being the wise Yoda. What happened last night?”

  “I thought about what Ryan told me and what the guys do. I may have overreacted with him, and I feel like there is more going on than what we realize.”

  “May have overreacted?” Taylor scoffed.

  “Bite me, Bubbles. I am not sure what happened, but I woke up feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Not to mention I slept peacefully for the first time in years.”

  I thought back to the night Ryan told me about helping veterans with PTSD and rescuing kids. He told me he worked with a few of them closely, which made me wonder if John was one of them. One minute he would be the biggest clown in the group and the next he would look like he was in pain. Maybe I should ask Ryan what was up.

  “Don't try and sugar coat it, chica. He just wants to fuck.” Taylor shrugged out of my embrace and headed to one of the rafts.

  “What crawled up her hoo-ha?” Leigh Ann said.

  “I think it's John. And I think she likes him more than she is willing to admit. But I’m just the love struck, stubborn nerd who can’t seem to figure out what she wants and wants nothing more than to be with the man who stole her heart and makes it impossible not to think about him.” I did not just say that out loud. Leigh Ann giggled and watched the guys load the rafts. What the bloody hell is going on with me today?

  I hoped no one heard me, which knowing my luck, was doubtful. I continued to watch Taylor do her best to ignore John. This morning, he seemed to be in a good mood and acted like nothing happened last night. After the debacle with the poison ivy prank, I was sure the guys would be embarrassed and exact revenge. But knowing Ryan, he would do it when I least expected it.

  “You are too much, Bree. Anyway, I heard about what happened last night. The entire camp talked about it all night. I think we almost gave the old lady a heart attack, from laughing so hard.” Leigh Ann chuckled and made her way towards Matt's raft.

  Great. No wonder the camp snickered when they saw me this morning. Not to mention, one of the guys even mooned me while I was packing up my tent.

  “Brianna, right?” Janet tapped my shoulder lightly and smiled softly at me. For a sixty-year-old woman, she looked great for her age.

  “Yes, ma’am?”

  “Thank you for one of the best trips of my life. I haven't laughed like this since my husband and I went skinny dipping in my daughter's pool. I mean we are all human and have private parts. What's the big deal?”

  An image of an elderly couple skinny dipping in a pool crossed my mind. I imagined myself coming across that situation, and my body shuddered. I did not want to see a shriveled penis on an old man. No, thank you.

  “Uh…”

  “Let’s just say, it was a blast. But seeing you and Ryan together. It brings back old memories with my husband, when we were young. I may not have known you two long, but from what I have seen, he is a good man.”

  I looked to see Ryan helping a woman onto the raft, and noticed something I’ve never seen before. Janet was right. He wasn't the same man I knew three years ago. He used to be a burly brute, but now I am not so sure. “He is something, isn't he?”

  Janet laughed and nodded in Ryan's direction. “The way he looks at you; I don't see that very often. Whatever is going on between you two, kiss and make-up already.”

  Was she giving me dating advice? “It’s not that simple,” I whispered.

  “It is actually. I heard what your friends said earlier. Stop overthinking things and listen to your heart. Too many people stress about life, when they should be enjoying it. Take a leap of faith and see what happens. Hell, if I was thirty years younger, I would tap that in a heartbeat.”

  She sounded just like my mother. Whenever I tended to overthink everything, she would tell me I’m being an idiot and laugh. After a while she would just say ‘I’ve been thinking’ and made me giggle every time. Maybe Janet was right? Maybe it was time to see what could happen. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.”

  I made my way to Ryan’s raft and I threw on my life vest. After securing the straps to my helmet, I was ready to tackle the waves, and get back to the cabin.

  Swinging my leg into the raft, Ryan grabbed my hand and assisted me to my seat. “Morning, Bree.”

  “Morning, handsome.” I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. Time to see where this was headed, even if it was only a summer fling.

  “Change your mind?” Ryan said, with a dark look in his eyes.

  Looking back at Janet, she gave me a thumbs up. “Someone once told me life is too short to worry about the what if’s. I forgot about that, until someone reminded me.” Wiggling my eyebrows, I settled into my seat next to Ryan. Leave it to him to make the seating arrangements. He made sure I was sitting next to him on the way down. Go figure.

  With our gear secured in waterproof bags, everyone piled into the rafts. We pushed off the river bank and headed downstream. We split into three teams, with Matt, John, and Ryan guiding the rafts. The river seemed calm at first, which made it easier for us to get used to the raft and paddles.

  After thirty minutes of calm waters, we hit our first set of rapids. Water flew in all directions and roared to life. Using our paddles and listening to
Ryan’s directions, we made it past with ease. Water poured into the boat getting everyone wet, but no one cared.

  “Woohoo! Bring on the beast!” One of the men in the front of the raft shouted.

  Ryan and I laughed at his outburst.

  “Hey, Ryan. The last one to the resort buys drinks?” Matt called out behind us.

  “You’re on!” Ryan replied.

  It took two hours to reach the resort, and we were the first ones to arrive. Matt’s raft tipped over at the last set of rapids, and John’s decided to take their time. His team was laughing and cracking jokes when they arrived. Taylor even seemed to be having a good time.

  John’s crew arrived shortly after us, with Matt’s team in tow. Matt’s team was soaked and looked pissed. What the hell happened over there?

  “Looks like a crew of drowned rats. What happened, John?” Ryan asked.

  John shrugged. “I saw Matt getting into it with one of the guys, and I don't think he realized he was heading into the large rocks. He knows to avoid that area. Not sure what happened, but judging from the way he looks, someone pissed him off.”

  John muttered something to himself and went about helping his group unload and dry off.

  “Let’s help everyone unload and get changed. Matt is buying drinks, and I want to take my girl out.” Ryan wrapped his arm around my neck and kissed my forehead. I rested my head on his chest and couldn't stop smiling.

  “I don't recall making this official. I mean you are a good time in the sack, but…”

  Ryan captured my mouth before I could utter another word. My knees buckled and a soft moan escaped my lips. His tongue ravaged my mouth and made me crave more.

  Ryan pulled back way too soon. “Good time in the sack, huh? Baby, I will rock your world. Your fucking pussy is mine. Just wait until tonight.”

  I pushed my legs tighter together and stifled a moan. Why the hell did I have to wait until tonight? Feeling the arousal pool between my legs, I had no intentions of waiting until tonight. My body craved his touch, and I needed a release. I bit my lip and tried to think about anything besides his massive cock inside me.