Nerdboobs (A Warrior and Nerd Journey Book 1)

by T. M. Grinsley

  My mouth was wide open, and I had no idea what to say. This was a man who loved to watch scary movies, zombie movies, or war movies. “Seriously? You watched Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter? When did you do this?”

  “Come on, Mike and Jason are waiting.”

  “But… you… you cannot drop a bombshell like this on me and expect me to not have questions and talk about the movies.” Tugging on his arm, he ignored my attempts and kept walking towards the café. Ryan watched Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter? No freaking way! I mean come on, it’s Lord of the Rings for crying out loud. I used to daydream about Legolas, Aragorn, and Éomer. I mean who didn’t? Sigh, those were some good dreams.

  Clearing my head of those gorgeous men, I looped my arm around Ryan’s waist and followed him into the ‘Rise and Grind Café.’ Whoever names their café, ‘Rise and Grind,’ has to have a sense of humor, because this name, at first glance, did not make me think coffee.

  Ryan opened the front door, making a small bell ring, and the artist I met at the bar last night emerged from the back room with seven boxes, piled high. “Be with you in a second,” he called out, trying to balance the tall stack of boxes.

  The artist, Jason, reminded me of Jack from back home. He was medium height, blonde hair that was spiked in different angles, with light blue eyes. He wasn’t big per se, maybe medium build, but what I loved about him the most was his attire. I remember the night we met he was all dressed up and ready to slay the dance floor, but at the café, he was wearing something out of this world. He wore bright colors that made a statement. He was the type of guy you would go to comic con with, and I was curious to see who he was married to. No sooner did the thought pop in my head, a massive man, almost seven feet tall, entered the room carrying four large bags of flour. I took a step back to take him all in. He has slightly tanned skin, bright green eyes, and almost shaved brown hair. He reminded me of the Rock, only hotter.

  “Whoa.”

  “That’s Mike,” Ryan whispered in my ear.

  Baffled by what I saw, I was trying to wrap my head around Mike; I mean that is the mastermind behind the delicious smell? Can I take him home and keep him? I made my way to the display case and looked at all the delicious treats laid out on display. I may have just eaten, but my second stomach was starting to rise from the dead and demand I try everything. Making sure my ass was pointed away from Ryan, I surveyed the case and made a mental note of which ones caught my eye.

  “Well, well, well. Look who stumbled into my shop! Mike, this is the lovely lady I told you about last night! She has tamed our prickly brute.” Dragging my eyes away from the delicious delights in front of me, I turned and smiled at Jason. He winked at me and said something under his breath.

  Shrugging my shoulders and ignoring whatever he said, I turned my attention back to the treats in front of me. “Prickly brute, huh? I have called him worse.”

  “I knew there was something I liked about you.” Jason carried the seven boxes around the corner and handed them off to Ryan. “Freshly made and ready to go.”

  “Thanks, guys. The men will love this.” Ryan maneuvered the boxes to one arm and shook forearms with both men. “Mike, let me introduce my girl. Brianna this is Mike, Mike this is the girl who you got an earful about.”

  “Looks like a spitfire to me. Jason told me all about her last night and about what happened with Cam. You are going to have your hands full, Ryan. Nice to meet you, Brianna.” Mike winked at me and swept me into a hug. He twirled me around the room and thank God Ryan didn’t see the back of my shirt. Ryan’s phone started to ring as Mike set me back down. I turned to see Ryan head towards the front door when I heard someone’s laughter fill the store. Crap!

  “Does your sh-“

  I whipped around faster than I thought was possible and gave Jason the zip your lips signal. He chuckled quietly to himself and headed to the back of the room. “Oh, you are too much, Brianna. Ryan told me about the interesting attire you have worn since you got here.”

  “What can I say? I love to make a statement.”

  “You and I both. Come by anytime. I can’t wait to hear the gossip after today. Nerdboobs at the VA, Ha!” Jason pushed open the door, and you could hear laughter follow.

  “Nerdboobs?” Mike looked like he was trying to hold back his laughter as to not alert Ryan what was going on.

  “You know the shirt that says save the ta-tas?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why not a shirt that says Nerdboobs? I mean we talk about saving the ta-tas, but that gets so boring after a while. So let’s kick it up a notch. Hence the #Nerdboobs!”

  I always love to explain this shirt to everyone I meet. I never knew what it meant until one day I asked my booknerd friend, Steven, what it meant. I sent him a screenshot of the famous ‘WTForecast’ app and told him I had no idea what nerd boobs were. He sent me several laughing emoji’s and proceeded to explain what it meant. He told me I had nerd boobs and, being me, I didn’t catch it at first until something clicked in my brain and I realized what he meant. So ever since, Nerdboobs came alive.

  “What does that have to do with save the ta-tas?” Mike had a quizzical look on his face, trying to figure out my weirdness.

  “You know how everyone wants to save the ta-tas from cancer? I’ve never seen anyone that just celebrates them. Everyone has a little bit of nerd in them, so why not make it known?”

  “You are the strangest woman I have ever met.”

  “I have two best friends that are just as bad as me.” Leaning against the display case, I watched Ryan pace back and forth outside. His demeanor had changed, and he looks downright pissed. This can’t be good.

  Mike opened up something behind me and gently nudged my shoulder. “Here, it’s on the house.”

  Turning around my stomach leaped with joy, but my thighs protested. This was pure sin, and I gained five pounds just looking at it. “Is that Biscotti?”

  “I toured Europe and trained with the best chefs in the world. When I wasn’t on duty, I would travel and meet all the locals. Several of the guys gave me loads of shit for learning how to bake, but I told them to fuck off. They shut up after they tasted some of the dishes I made.”

  Debating on devouring my favorite Italian dessert, I could feel my mouth starting to water. Dark chocolate was drizzled on top of two oblong shaped almond cookies. If cooked right, they were crunchy and dry, but perfect for dipping in tea.

  “Oh, almost forgot, can’t forget this.” He placed a small glass of Vin Santo in front of me. I grew up learning that the golden rule is ‘only dip biscotti in Vin Santo, never coffee.’ In my family, if you were caught dead dipping them in coffee, you would never hear the end of it. So I learned at a young age to use wine or tea with your cookies and nothing else.

  Dipping my cookie in the wine, I took a small bite, and my mouth exploded with flavors. It tasted just like my grandmother's famous recipe. A moan escaped me, and I was in dessert heaven. “This is amazing.”

  “Don’t let Ryan catch you moaning like that. He might get jealous.”

  “My Noni use to say, ‘There is nothing better than a couple of almond-studded biscotti and a small glass of Vin Santo to make someone’s day.’ She was an amazing woman and one hell of a cook.”

  The doorbell dinged, and Ryan looked like he was ready to kill someone. “Moaning? Jealous?” He said a little confused. His hair looked like he had been through war for the past few minutes.

  “Everything ok?” I placed my biscotti down and headed towards Ryan.

  “Just some work stuff that couldn’t wait.” Ryan kissed the top of my head and acted like nothing was wrong, but I knew something was up. He was rigid, jaw clenched, and his eyes betrayed him.

  “Thanks for the treats Mike, the guys will love them. Will you tell Jason to check out Funny Farm and give me an update?”

  “On it.” Mike’s apron was already on the counter and he was headed out the front door before Ryan finished his question. I
t sounded more like an order to me, but I could just be reading too much into things.

  “Uh…”

  “Let’s get out of here, baby. There are a few people I want you to meet.”

  Biting the inside of my cheek, my curiosity was bound to get me in trouble. I shifted my feet back and forth, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Ryan had one phone call, his demeanor changed to the man I met three years ago, and Mike was halfway out the door, not knowing what was going on.

  “Stop worrying, Brianna. Everything is fine.” Yeah right, everything was fine, my ass. Biting my tongue, I kept my mouth shut and just let it go. Normally, I would ask question after question, annoying someone until they spilled their guts, but Ryan was not that kind of guy. If you badgered him with anything, he would shut down like a clamshell and is impossible to break unless you use a pry bar and yank it open.

  ~*~

  “Ok, next question. How many Rings of Power are there?”

  “Seven?” Ryan had his eyes focused on the road, but I could see a small smile starting to form.

  Ignoring everything that happened over an hour ago, I decided to quiz Ryan on Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. I started off with the simple questions to see if he actually watched the movies, like ‘What is the name of Harry’s owl?’ ‘What is the name of the group in The Lord of the Rings?’ ‘What is the name of Hagrid’s dog?’ ‘How did Frodo get the ring?” You know easy questions. Ryan missed a few, and I knew he knew the answers. I figured talking about my nerd love would lighten the mood and it did. But now, it was time to really test him.

  I smacked Ryan on the arm, and he feigned like he was hurt. “Ha! You know the answer! Just tell me!”

  “I honestly do not remember, baby. Just tell me.”

  “Ah huh and the color of my skin is purple.”

  Ryan smiled and tried not to take his eyes off the road. “Just tell me.”

  “Fine! There are twenty rings; nine rings for the Race of Man, seven for the Dwarf Lords, three for the Elves, and one ring to rule them all. It was the first scene in the movie!”

  Ryan took a left turn, and we reached our destination. “I love when you talk nerdy to me.”

  My inner vixen did a backwards flip and screamed for joy. All day he had said the word love but not directly to me.

  Seeing this new and improved Ryan, he was demolishing every wall I built, and I knew leaving in a week and a half was going to be the hardest thing. I told Taylor and Leigh Ann I needed to get out there and take a chance, so that is what I am doing. I will worry about all this when I get home, but right now I wanted to enjoy it.

  “So will you tell me why you decided to watch Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter? Cause my curiosity is peaking, and I am dying to know.” Which is true; why would a man who leaves a girl, watch all her favorite movies? I mean granted, he said he wanted to get back together and even went as far as tracking me down to be with me, but why?

  “We are here.”

  Way to go Exlax, I know when someone is avoiding the question. “Ryan…”

  Ryan grabbed my left hand and kissed my palm. Tingles shot from my palm, igniting fireworks in my stomach. Not to mention, my hoo-ha was starting to get a little excited. “I promise to tell you tonight, baby. But right now, we need to get inside. You think you are bad when it comes to treats. Prosser will kill me if I make him wait too long.”

  Grabbing the stack of treats, we made our way inside. It was a small building that looks more like a gym. But when you go inside, it's pretty nifty. There is a massive living room filled with different couches and tables spread out. On the left side, there seems to be a separate room filled with several TVs and guys shouting ‘not cool’ and ‘kill the fucker already.’ Must be the game room.

  To my right, there was the office. Several people were working on computers, while there were two women manning the front desk.

  “Welcome back, Ryan. The guys have been cursing your name for the last thirty minutes. Who is your guest?”

  “Hey, Jill. This is Brianna, my girlfriend. I got held up for a bit with Jason and Mike.”

  Jill was a few inches taller than me and was skinnier than a twig. She sported a cute pixie cut that showed off her hazel eyes and had so many highlights in her hair that it was hard to see what her natural hair color was.

  “About time you brought her in! Nice to meet you, Brianna. Ryan…”

  Ryan cut off Jill and steered me in the other direction.

  “Brianna, let me introduce you to the guys and show you around. Thanks, Jill.” Ryan gave a quick nod to Jill and dragged me past the massive room full of sofas and tables, to the game room.

  “Well, that was rude.”

  “Jill is a talker and would have kept us hostage and the guys would be pissed if they found out.”

  “Get pissed? Over sweets?” I have never in my life seen a man get all worked up over a bunch of baked goods. These are grown men, who were soldiers, mind you. I grew up with a few soldiers, and they only got excited about sex, video games, and alcohol.

  “Just watch. Stand behind me.”

  The game room was ginormous and I swear my nerd side got a hard-on. There are over a dozen TVs, each with its very own console and two gaming chairs. Not to mention, each chair moved and shook like you were actually in the game. I would never leave this room.

  Positioning myself behind Ryan, he whistled loudly, and chaos ensued.

  CHAPTER 10

  “About time, Asshole!”

  “Where the hell have you been?”

  “What the hell, man?

  “Hand them over, chubby!”

  Keeping my place behind Ryan, I tried to stifle the laughter that was trying to escape, but it was impossible. Large, burly dudes attacked Ryan’s boxes and took several treats with them back to their gaming chairs. A few had prosthetics, and one had the coolest looking legs I have ever seen in my life.

  The guys continued to curse Ryan and wish he died in a ditch, but one man seemed to hear me and my cover was blown.

  “Well, look who we have here.” The man with the coolest legs ever created called me out. His legs were bright neon green and looked just like a kangaroo’s legs. I have seen people with prosthetics on TV and read about them in my books, but I have never seen one in person.

  “Hey, Lawson.” Ryan clasped forearms with Kangaroo Legs and shifted sideways, so I was no longer hidden.

  I waved innocently, waiting to be introduced. I knew it was rude to stare, but my eyes kept wandering to his legs. The top part wrapped right about the knees and the feet curved inwards like half an oval.

  “My eyes are up here, sugar.” Lawson snapped his fingers and directed me towards his eyes. He wore a smirk I was all too familiar with. The guys I grew up always gave me that look. It’s the ‘stop gawking and pay attention’ look.

  “Kangaroo Legs!” Oh. My. Dear. Good. God. I did not just blurt that out. Why couldn’t I have said, hi or what’s up? At least something that doesn’t make me look like a complete idiot.

  Ryan looked like he was ready to lose it. Biting his lip, he turned towards Lawson, who wasn’t much better.

  “About time someone pointed it out! I lost my legs, not my sense of humor.” Lawson crept closer and extended his hand. “Not that I don’t mind being called Kangaroo Legs, but I’m Lawson. Who is this beauty that the berserker brought in?”

  “Brianna.”

  “Nice to meet you, Brianna. We have heard a lot about you.”

  I glanced at Ryan, whose attention was elsewhere. “I have heard that a lot lately.”

  “Follow me. Let me show you our new digs. Ryan did a massive fundraiser to replace all our furniture and get this place running like new. Do you play?”

  Do I play? Ha! My inner nerd was bursting to break free and try out the shiny new toys. “Maybe, a little?”

  Lawson scoffed and motioned for me to sit down in the gaming chair next to him. Keeping my back away from prying eyes, I made sure no one w
as looking and sat down quickly. “I have a feeling that is far from the truth.”

  ~*~

  Three hours later and we were seconds away from victory. “Lawson, cover my backside; Weatherford, go around the corner and bomb their ass; Everett, don’t go in there, you idiot, you are going to die!”

  BOOM!

  “I told you not to go in there. We are one hundred kills away from winning, don’t blow it, specialist.”

  I had soon learned all the names of everyone in the room. Smith was Marines, Lawhon Air Force, Prosser Air Force, Williford Army, Maslanik Marines, and Lemley Navy. The three knuckleheads Everett, Lawson, and Weatherford were all army. Ryan vanished over two hours ago and right now I couldn’t care less. We had battle to win.

  “Brianna, go around back. Weatherford, cover her six,” Lawson ordered.

  We were in round seven of Battlefield and we refused to lose. Last game, we got creamed, but this time we brought our A game.

  “Brianna, hop on the tank. Blow the helicopter out of the sky!” Weatherford called out with a few cuss words added at the end.

  Using the controller to maneuver my character onto the tank, it was time to win this. “Go through the tunnel and catch it on the other side. We can blow him to bits, then.”

  Our tank barely squeezed inside the tunnel, but it was now or never. We could hear the helicopter, but we were unable to see it.

  “Brianna, Delta Squad is on your left. The helicopter is right above you.” Everett was four chairs away from me, and he was the loudest one in the room. I thought I got excited when playing; he was worse than me.

  Emerging from the tunnel, Weatherford kept us undercover, waiting for the perfect time to strike. We could hear the helicopter getting closer. Bullets were flying all around us, but we were focused on our target.

  “We got your six, Brianna, blast that asshole.”

  The nose of the helicopter was in my line of sight. Only a few more seconds. I hit the trigger and prayed to the video game gods we had a hit. Three. Two. One.