Don't Forget Me

by Maggie Cole

  “I’m not buying that, either.”

  “Why do you think they deny it?”

  He shrugs. “No idea. But will you go with me to Club D?”

  “Yes. Of course.”

  He smiles. “Good. I’m assuming we’re awesome dancers together?”

  I beam. “We didn’t have any complaints last time.”

  His hand is on my hip, and he strokes it with his thumb. “How did I first tell you I love you?”

  “We just got back from dinner in New York.”

  “The dinner we didn’t eat at?” Xander grins at me.

  I laugh. “Yes. You had boxes everywhere because you were packing to move, and you sat on one and pulled me onto your lap. You said, ‘I’m madly in love with you.’”

  “And what did you say?”

  “I said, ‘That’s good because I’m madly in love with you.’”

  Xander looks wistful. “I wish I could remember that.”

  I giggle, thinking about it.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I may have done something to you after on that box...before it collapsed.” My face heats.

  “And what were you doing to me?”

  I clear my throat. “Use your imagination.”

  “It doesn’t happen to have the initials B and J, does it?”

  “Maybe.”

  “And the box collapsed?”

  I nod. “Right when it was getting good for you.”

  He burst out laughing. “Okay, now I really wish I could remember that.”

  I brush my hand through his hair. “Maybe you will someday.”

  Sadness briefly passes his eyes.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I just need to keep reminding myself the past doesn’t matter, and only the future does.”

  I stare at him. “What scares you the most about that?”

  He hesitates. “You want honesty?”

  “Yes.”

  “It used to be not remembering everything but not anymore.”

  “What is it now?”

  “I’m scared I will go to sleep and have another dream, and I will hurt you. So while I want to sleep with you wrapped up in my arms, I think I need to spend the night on the couch.” His eyes drill into mine, full of fear and anxiety.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I don’t want to lose you, but more than that, I don’t want to hurt you, Charlotte.”

  “I know.”

  He sits up against the headboard. “When I started remembering things, flashbacks would fly at me during strange moments. I don’t trust my mind right now.”

  I understand what he’s saying, but I don’t want him on the couch. I want to sleep curled up to him. So many months, I cried myself to sleep or woke up to a pillow soggy with tears because he wasn’t here. I don’t want to go backward. I cup his face in my hands. “Don’t go. If something happens, I’ll deal with it.”

  “I don’t want you to have to deal with it. I don’t want to cause you any more pain. You don’t deserve that.”

  “We’ve spent enough time apart. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

  Xander looks at me, unsure of what to do.

  “Stay with me.”

  “Charlotte—”

  I put my finger over his mouth. “There are no guarantees you will or won’t have dreams. And it could be forever for all we know. You said we would get off the roller coaster together. This is part of our together.”

  He takes a deep breath, nervously looking at me, grappling with what to do.

  “I’ll handle it if it happens.”

  “You shouldn’t have to handle it.”

  “Stop. Stay.” I straddle him and lean in and kiss him, knowing it might happen but telling myself I will have to toughen up and deal with it if it does. I love him, and I want my life to be with him, so if that means we have to deal with his past, then we will.

  And I convince myself everything will be okay and that it’s just flashbacks and not to let anything bother me, but sometimes things are easier played out in our minds than in reality.

  I wake up, and the darkness is trying to turn into light. Xander isn’t next to me. I throw his T-shirt on and walk out to the living area. He’s sitting in an armless chair, staring, with an expression on his face I haven’t seen before. Tearstains are on his cheeks, and he looks like he’s seen a ghost. A blanket is wrapped around his shoulders.

  “Xander?” I softly say, brushing my hand on his cheek.

  He slowly looks up at me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  It’s as if it takes him a minute to register who I am? Or maybe that I’m here?

  A chill runs through me, and I panic. Did his memory go backward, and he doesn’t know me again?

  “Xander?” I repeat.

  His face changes, and he snaps out of whatever trance he was in.

  “Charlotte.” His voice holds a hint of surprise in it.

  “You okay?”

  Nodding slowly, he says, “Yeah.”

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing. Everything is fine.” He forces a smile and pulls me into his lap. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes. Did you sleep?”

  “On and off.”

  “Xander, what is going on?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Please don’t lie to me.”

  He lets out a big breath. “Okay.”

  I stroke his cheek. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I’ve been having some intense flashbacks for the last few hours.”

  “About Billie?” I do my best to keep it factual with no emotion in it, trying not to cringe.

  He shakes his head, blinking back tears.

  “What then?”

  “Nathan. The first patient I ever lost on the surgery table.”

  I kiss his forehead. “Nathan was Noah’s brother who passed, right?”

  He nods.

  “Is this the first time you remembered these incidents.”

  His voice is hoarse. “Yes.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No,” he whispers.

  I pull his head into my chest. “Okay. You don’t have to.”

  His arms wrap around me, and one hand slides under my T-shirt while he looks up and crushes his lips into mine.

  I straddle him so I can get as close as possible, trying to show him that any love I have in me I’ll give him. I consume his lips, as my knees dig into the sides of his hips, my naked sex against his hardening manhood.

  “It seems like it’s happening now,” he murmurs. His voice is painful and raw, and my heart bleeds for him.

  It’s a cruel twist from the universe that Xander has to experience grief and pain more than once, and I wish I could take it away from him.

  “I’m sorry. What can I do?” I hold him tighter, wanting to change for him what I can’t.

  “Make me forget. Even if it’s just for now.” Pain and tears fill his eyes.

  I cup his face and kiss him, pouring every ounce of love and desire I have for him into it.

  He grabs my hips and slides me over his erection, entering me in one fluid motion.

  I sink onto his girth, quivering and gasping as my body accepts him.

  “I want to be the man I used to be for you,” he murmurs.

  “You are.”

  “I’m not,” he insists.

  “We’re both different, but the same. It’s okay.”

  “You don’t deserve this.”

  “Shh. Don’t talk like that.” I pull his T-shirt off me. “I want to belong to you. Exactly as you are.”

  He buries his face in my breasts, licking me, sucking me, owning me.

  “Xander,” I breath, puckering in his mouth, circling on his cock as he groans.

  “You’re sunshine,” he murmurs and hungrily grasps my head and parts my lips with his tongue, darting in and out of my mouth then yanks my hair back and sucks on my neck.

  “Oh God!”
I moan as my body hums, rippling and surging with heat.

  “I only want you,” he whispers.

  “Yes,” I whisper back.

  His eyes drive into my soul. “I will love you forever.”

  I tremble. “I’ll love you back forever.”

  His arms wrap around me tighter, caressing me, cherishing me, claiming me as his.

  It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve found my heaven in Xander. He fills the holes in my heart I assumed no one ever could. And I want to fill his, so no more heartache ever hurts him again, but I’m not sure how. The only thing I can do is love him, so that is what I vow to do.

  “I will be the man you deserve,” he murmurs in my ear.

  “You already are,” I tell him and mean it.

  I grind into him harder, needing all of him in me as he shimmies against my walls, creating a tidal wave of euphoria so high in me, I collapse in his arms in tremors, crying out his name.

  And as he unleashes his seed into me, he holds me so tight, our orgasms collide, and I no longer can tell where I end and he begins.

  I think every second of what we’ve gone through has gotten us here. That nothing else can happen. That we’ve done our penance for whatever we’ve done wrong in this life or previous lives, and now is our time to have it easy, and just be able to love each other.

  But love requires unconditional trust. And that isn’t always easy to give.

  21

  Xander

  Charlotte and I spend all day Friday together. We eat breakfast at the hotel restaurant, and she grabs a tourist map from the front desk to give me a quick overview of Chicago.

  After we eat, we buy a deck of cards in the gift shop and spend the afternoon having sex and playing games in my suite.

  The snow is still coming down but not as hard. Chase and Jamison will arrive in the early evening, and their flight miraculously isn’t canceled.

  Around six, we stop at Charlotte’s so she can get changed. The guys are staying at Noah and Piper’s, and everyone has been invited to their place before we head out to Club D.

  Charlotte walks out of her room in a metallic-gold club dress and matching stilettos, and my pants instantly feel tighter. When I whistle at her, the sexy blush crosses her cheeks. I kiss her. “I swear you just get hotter.”

  She laughs.

  I kiss her again. “Maybe we should stay here,” I murmur against her lips.

  “Ha, ha!”

  I step back from her. “You ready?”

  She nods, and I hold out her coat and help her into it. Once outside, we catch a taxi and are soon at Noah and Piper’s.

  As we thought, Quinn and Vivian are over. When we arrive, everyone looks at us in surprise, and I realize no one knows Charlotte and I have reunited. Well, Vivian and Noah know a bit, but they don’t know we’ve gotten back together.

  The elephant is in the room. It’s quiet, and everyone is staring at us. Charlotte looks at me, and I pull her closer. “Are you going to stare all night?”

  Noah smiles and winks at me. “Nope.” He walks over and kisses Charlotte on the cheek. “Good to see you, Charlotte.”

  “Okay, you have some explaining to do.” Quinn points at us, and everyone laughs.

  Charlotte blushes again.

  Piper grabs her hand. “You come with us.” She pulls Charlotte out of the room, and Quinn and Vivian follow, but not before Vivian gives me a big smile.

  Chase hands me a beer. “You better start talking.”

  “Hey, guys, nice to see you, too,” I sarcastically say.

  “Yep. Now spill it.” Jamison grins at me.

  I wrack my brain, trying to think of where to begin. Noah jumps in. “Charlotte and Xander are at the same hospital.”

  I nod.

  “Do you remember her?” Chase asks.

  I start to nod then shake my head. “I remember certain things but not everything.”

  “That’s great, Xander!” Jamison exclaims.

  Noah flashes me a knowing look, and I know he’s thinking about how I dream about Charlotte, but he doesn’t mention it.

  “Do you remember other stuff now?” Chase asks, and I know that by other ‘stuff,’ he means about Billie.

  “A little. Not all of it.”

  “But enough?” Chase doesn’t have to say more. He wants to know if I’m done being obsessed with her.

  “Yep.”

  “Good. It’s about time,” Jamison mumbles.

  I nod. “Any more questions?”

  Noah pats me on the back. “No. But we’re glad you’re finding your way back, man.”

  We get to the club, and Noah’s reserved a VIP room for us. I haven’t found out from Charlotte how badly the girls drilled her, but I can only guess it was worse than what I got.

  Inside the VIP room, Piper is sitting next to Noah. Jamison and Quinn are looking pretty cozy, and Vivian and Chase are sitting next to each other. Chase keeps giving Vivian looks like he wants to get in her pants. She looks like she likes him but is trying to keep somewhat of a distance.

  I wonder again what is going on with all four of them, but I’m not about to ask.

  I’ve got my arm around Charlotte. Everything seems right. She’s laughing and looks so happy, and my heart soars at the sight of her smile.

  We’ve had a few drinks, and I lean into her ear. “Ready to go dance?”

  She smiles at me. “Yep.”

  I pull her up with me. “We’re hitting the dance floor,” I announce. It doesn’t take long before everyone else is standing and following us.

  When we get on the dance floor, Charlotte and I easily fall into a rhythm. It’s hot and sexy, and our bodies fit together perfectly. The shot girl comes over. I grab two for us, and we throw them back and continue dancing.

  A guy comes up to Charlotte and tries to cut in.

  I’m claiming you as mine tonight unless you have any objections, runs through my mind as I pull Charlotte into me, making it clear to him and anyone else she’s off-limits. Images of her gazing at me, but with pink lipstick, pop up. She’s wearing red tonight, and I stop dancing, Visions of her face with both pink and red lips flash so quickly in my mind I almost get dizzy.

  “Xander, you okay?” she yells through the music, looking at me concerned.

  I nod, but her face is still flashing. “Can we sit down a minute?”

  “Sure.” She grabs my hand and leads me off the dance floor, through the club, and into the VIP room. By the time we get there, my flashbacks have left.

  We sit down. I pull her onto my lap, and she puts her hands on my face. “Xander, what’s going on?”

  “I’m sorry. Did you wear pink lipstick the night we met? And you wore a pink dress?”

  She pauses, thinking. “Yes, I think so.”

  I nod. “I just had a flashback. And did I tell you, ‘I’m claiming you as mine tonight unless you have any objections?’”

  She strokes my head and nods. “You did. What else do you remember?”

  “Nothing. I don’t know if it’s because of the lights and music, but your face was flashing between now and then in my head. I’m sorry I ruined our dance.”

  She puts her finger over my lips. “Shh. You ruined nothing.” She leans in and kisses me so sweetly, I’m sure I did something extra good in my last life to have her in my arms.

  I pull back and grin at her. “You look hot with pink or red lips.”

  “Hey, I have to go to the restroom.”

  “Okay, I’ll go with you.” I put my arm around her waist and lead her down the hall. She goes inside the restroom, and I stand against the wall, waiting.

  I’m looking at my phone when a familiar voice says, “Xander?”

  Slowly, I gaze up, not believing it.

  “Billie?” I’m in shock as I stare at her. She doesn’t seem like she’s changed much. Her honey-colored hair looks the same, but I realize she’s been drinking pretty heavy when I look at her brown eyes.

  “Xander.” She flings her
self at me, and I catch her in my arms so she doesn’t fall.

  “Whoa. Steady there.”

  Before I know it, she grabs my neck, pulls me to her face, and kisses me.

  I try to pull out of it, but she is wobbly, so I move my hand on her back to keep her from falling.

  She has her hands on my face and on lockdown. I try to pull back, but she’s hanging onto me, she’s so drunk. When I finally pull away from her, Charlotte is standing in front of me, her eyes wide and blinking back tears.

  “Get off me, Billie. Charlotte, this isn’t—”

  I can’t say anything else because her eyes widen farther. She turns and bolts down the hall. Billie is still in my arms, and I try to steady her to go after Charlotte, but she’s off-balance, and if I let her go, she will fall.

  “Billie, stand up,” I tell her sternly.

  “Xander?”

  I turn to see Sally, one of Billie’s friends, staring at me.

  “Sally, get her off me,” I growl.

  Sally looks at me in shock and grabs Billie, trying to steady her.

  As soon as she does, I take off down the hall to find Charlotte. I’m entering the VIP room as she tries to get out the door. She has her clutch, and tears are streaming down her face. Vivian and Chase are back in the room, with worried expressions.

  “Charlotte, that wasn’t what you thought it was.”

  “Move, Xander.”

  “No.”

  She shoves me, and I grab her hands. “Stop. That wasn’t what you thought.”

  “You were kissing...her,” she hisses. “Move.”

  “I wasn’t kissing her.”

  “Get out of my way,” she yells as tears stream down her face.

  I try to put my arms around her, but she pushes me so hard I stumble back. She slips past me and heads toward the elevator.

  I follow her. “Charlotte!”

  “Leave me alone, Xander. Once and for all, just leave me alone.” Her eyes are full of pain, and my heart shatters.

  “You don’t know what you saw. Let me explain,” I tell her.

  The elevator opens. “I know what I saw.”

  “No, you don’t!”

  Vivian is suddenly next to Charlotte and puts her arm around her. “Leave her alone, Xander.”

  I point to Vivian. “Stay out of this.”