Don't Forget Me

by Maggie Cole

  This isn’t what you want. Tell him to leave.

  What you want is Xander and you can’t have him. Wake up and stop holding onto hope for someone who feels nothing for you. At least Damon wants you.

  His lips move next to mine. “You want some heat, Charlotte?”

  Heat. It’s what I told him we didn’t have.

  I stare into his eyes, paralyzed, not sure how to respond.

  He laughs. “I’m ready to give you some heat. You want some?”

  Xander is heat.

  Xander doesn’t want you.

  As if in a trance, I nod.

  “Tell me to fuck you, and I’ll give you so much heat your head will spin.” Damon’s lips are still next to mine, and he is stroking my womanhood that hasn’t been touched in months.

  Without thinking, I whisper, “Fuck me.”

  “No. Say it louder, and say my name.”

  “Fuck me, Damon,” I say, louder.

  He smiles. “No. Tell me again, baby, but louder.”

  I repeat it, louder, and then again, laughing, feeling the effects of the alcohol and all the loneliness and heartache of so many months.

  “Good girl,” he praises and has me drink more. “Now, stand up and strip for me, while you tell me to fuck you.

  This is messed up.

  Strip for you?

  Just pretend he’s Xander.

  I’m no longer thinking about anything logical. I’m so buzzed, he has to help me stand.

  In a wobbly state, I tear my shirt off. “Fuck me, Xan...Damon,” I correct myself, laughing.

  The room is spinning.

  “Take your bra off.”

  I struggle to release the clasp in the back because I’m so drunk. He comes over and releases it and then sits back on the couch and I throw it at him.

  “That’s my girl.”

  “I’m not your girl, I’m Xan—” I stop myself and just laugh. “Actually, I’m no one’s girl.”

  “But you want to be?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “Okay, baby, you’re going to be my girl.”

  “Yours?”

  “Yes.”

  I laugh. Who gives a shit at this point? “Okay, I’ll be your girl.”

  He stands and brings his drink to my lips. It burns down my throat.

  He laughs. “You want some heat?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I want heat.”

  “Say, ‘Damon, I want to be your girl,’ and I’ll give you heat.”

  “Damon, I want to be your girl,” I say and grab his arm so I don’t fall.

  “That’s my girl.” He beams at me, and my ego soars from his praise. He stabilizes me and says, “Now, take your pants off.”

  I release my pajama bottoms and they fall off me.

  He reaches down and helps me remove them past my walking cast. Standing back, he instructs, “Get those panties off.”

  I just shimmy out of them.

  He sits back down on the couch. “Say, ‘Fuck me, Damon,’ and I’ll give you so much heat you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

  I laugh. “I already can’t walk.”

  “You want heat though, right?”

  I shake my head.

  “No?”

  I shake my head again. “That’s not what I really want.”

  “What do you really want?”

  “To forget.”

  “About what?”

  “Not about what. About who.”

  A strange look crosses his face, but I’m so inebriated I can’t decipher it and don’t really care.

  “Say, ‘Damon, fuck me,’ and I’ll make you forget.”

  I don’t hesitate. “Damon, fuck me.”

  Louder.

  “Damon, fuck me,” I say louder.

  “Beg me.”

  I throw my head back laughing. “You’re so messed up. Everything about you is screwed up.”

  “Isn’t that what you love about me?”

  Nope. I’ve never loved you.

  “Sure.” It’s easier to just say what he wants to hear.

  “So, beg me, and I’ll make you forget.”

  What the hell? This is messed up. Is it any more fucked-up than Xander wanting Billie?

  I get on my knees and crawl between Damon’s knees, I stare him in the eyes and say, “Please fuck me, Damon.”

  “Bitch, suck my dick.”

  Bitch?

  Xander would never do this to you.

  This is stupid and not what I want or need.

  I’m over this game.

  “Suck your own dick, Damon,” I slur.

  He grabs me under the arms and pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. “Let’s not get nasty now.”

  What the heck am I doing?

  “This is a bad idea. I’m done.”

  He laughs. “No you aren’t.”

  I stare at him in the eye. “Yeah, I am. I don’t know what I’m doing. You need to leave.”

  “You’re such a tease.” He grabs my head to kiss me.

  I push out of his grasp, and grab the blanket off my couch, wrapping it around me. “Just leave, Damon.”

  “You’re such a bitch,” he sneers at me, getting angry.

  A tear falls down my cheek. “I’m sorry. Just go.”

  He shudders disgust at me, goes over to the table and grabs his phone, then pauses next to my front door. “You’ll pay for this, Charlotte.”

  “Get out, Damon,” I tell him.

  He glares at me and leaves.

  I lock the door, secure the dead bolt then collapse on the floor, crying.

  What was I thinking?

  I look at myself, naked except for a blanket, and shame overpowers me. When I stop crying, I grab my phone off the table and go into my bedroom. I put the phone on my charger on my nightstand and see that I have a message from Xander.

  I crawl under the covers with my head spinning from all the alcohol.

  “I did something really stupid,” I message Xander.

  I wish I could talk to you.

  “Are you okay?” he responds.

  “No. I’m not.”

  “Do you want to talk? I can give you my number if you want to talk?”

  More torture. What have I been doing?

  I have hit a low. Is this what they call rock bottom?

  “No. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to talk anymore.”

  “Okay. I’m here if you need me.”

  Here if you need me. Now that’s just beyond cruel.

  27

  Xander

  Present Day

  When the email came across Charlotte’s phone, I didn’t think twice about clicking on it. It said HR INVESTIGATION UPDATE.

  I didn’t want to wake her, but I didn’t know if they would require any more information from her, so I opened it up.

  The email said HR was looking into claims by Damon that Charlotte had been pursuing him and that he had proof their relationship was not over nine months ago. They were sharing the video with Charlotte so she could respond to the allegation and update her form appropriately.

  I clicked on the video, and my gut flipped.

  There was no audio. The date and time stamp showed two months ago. Charlotte was drinking something clear. She cringes every time she takes a sip then she and Damon are talking.

  I don’t like the fact that he is sitting on her couch next to her, but then he helps her stand up, and she strips. My pulse is beating in my neck when she’s naked and crawls to him, before he pulls her up like a rag doll to straddle his lap.

  The recording ends. I watch it several times, and it’s clear to me Charlotte was drunk. Damon makes her drink several times, too.

  I’m staring at Charlotte, who’s asleep next to me, full of anger, when “NYSurgeon is waiting for you to make the next move” pops up on her phone.

  The hair on my neck stands up. I click on the notification, and our last Words with Friends board pops up. It’s the same game I stared at wondering
why the game and conversation had stopped and if the player I had been talking to was okay.

  I’d reached out several times over the last few months, asking if they were okay, but heard nothing.

  Scrolling through our messages, I bang my head quietly against the headboard. The torture I must have put Charlotte through, always talking about Billie and my love for her. I cringe inside.

  When I get back to the bottom of our messages, I read the date and time stamp of the last message.

  Why is it bugging me?

  Then, I realize it’s the same date as the video. Charlotte’s last message to me, “I did something really stupid,” makes sense.

  For hours, Charlotte sleeps on my arm. I think about how she was the only thing I looked forward to, all the months we played and talked on messenger. Guilt runs through me about how much pain I must have put her through, but she continued to be there for me, sacrificing her own feelings to make sure I was okay.

  As much as I hate the visual of her being with Damon, I know that I caused her falling into his arms. And I decide the only thing I’m going to do is love and support her through this. She unselfishly did that for me without me even knowing it, and I’m going to be the man she needs me to be.

  About twenty minutes pass, I figure she’s had enough time to review the video, and I walk into the bedroom. Charlotte is sitting on the bed, looking shocked. I sit next to her and put my arm around her. Slowly, she looks over at me.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Shh. It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.” I kiss her on her forehead.

  “This video. It’s not what you think.”

  I pull her tighter to me. “Charlotte, it’s okay.”

  She angrily pushes me away. “No, it’s not okay.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “What do you mean, Xander? Let’s get clear on this.”

  “I know you’re upset, but I’m on your side. And this is my fault. You slept with him because of me and my messages. I drove you to it. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

  She gapes at me and says nothing for a minute. “You’re right, and you’re wrong, Xander.”

  I tilt my head at her. “Fill me in, then.”

  “It’s not okay he recorded me without my consent. It’s not okay he stripped the audio from it and made it appear like we slept together. He cut off the part where I kicked him out. And it’s not okay I lied to you all those months and kept talking to you. These were my choices, not yours.”

  I have no right to feel relieved she didn’t sleep with him two months ago, but I do. I still don’t have a clear picture of what happened that night. The only thing I can speak to is what’s happened between us. “No, it isn’t okay. And we will get to the bottom of this. But I’m glad you lied to me, or I wouldn’t be standing here.”

  Charlotte’s face scrunches. “What do you mean?”

  I take a deep breath. “About a week after we started playing and talking. I had the pill bottles and a glass of water. I wrote a note. I was so frustrated because things were just too confusing, and I couldn’t work or remember people or situations. I felt like it would never be okay again. I was ready to end it all, and your message popped up.”

  Shocked, she puts her hands on my face. “Xander, you’ll kill me if you ever do anything like that.”

  I pull her on my lap. “I won’t. I told you I was in a dark place. I’m out of it. But you saved me. If you hadn’t lied to me, I wouldn’t have talked to you.”

  “You wouldn’t have?”

  I shake my head. “No. But now that I know it was you, I know how much deeper I hurt you. I know whatever happened between you and Damon, my words caused it.”

  She closes her eyes and tears fall. “I only wanted you, and you didn’t want me. He showed up, out of the blue. You had just told me about Billie, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I had isolated myself from everyone, and he was the first person I had any contact with in weeks. I shouldn’t have let him in. I shouldn’t have drunk with him. I shouldn’t have done what he told me to do.”

  I pull her in close to me. “This isn’t your fault.”

  “I made those choices.”

  “Shh. It’s not your fault.”

  “What am I going to do about that video?”

  “You’re going to tell HR the truth and let them handle it. I’m going to call my attorney, and we’re going to go after him.”

  She pulls her head back. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s illegal to record you in Illinois without your permission. I already looked it up. I’m going after the bastard, and we’re going to make sure it doesn’t go any further than those who have already seen it. He will pay.”

  She shakes her head. “Damon makes more than I do. He’ll keep me in legal battles for years, just to screw with me.”

  “The attorneys will handle it. And you don’t need to worry about the bill. I have more money than I know what to do with.”

  She squints at me. “I know you make good money as a surgeon, but Damon probably makes as much as you do, possibly more. He’s been with my company longer.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?”

  She nods.

  I lean into her ear. “I’m filthy rich.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I didn’t, either. Trust me. It was confusing when Noah told me. But I invested with him when we were paramedics, and I own a lot of different companies. I reinvested almost everything, and I only work because I love it. So I have all these zeros behind my name, and nothing will make me happier than to use them to take Damon down.”

  She looks at me. “You’re serious right now?”

  “Yes. No one will mess with you.”

  “This doesn’t make sense.”

  “What?”

  “You saw the video, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you aren’t mad at me?”

  “No.”

  “And you know I lied to you for months, but you aren’t mad at me about that, either?”

  “Nope.”

  “And you’re going to hire a lawyer for me and take Damon down?”

  “Yep.”

  “What’s the catch?”

  “There’s no catch.”

  “What am I missing?”

  Billie. We need to talk about Billie.

  “There’s one thing we still have to talk about.”

  Her face drops. “Billie.”

  I nod. “I want to discuss this, and then I don’t want to talk about her ever again. You’re the only person I love. The only person I want. I don’t want you to question it going forward.”

  “Then why did you kiss her?”

  “I did not kiss her. She was super drunk and threw herself on me, and I grabbed her by the waist because she was going to fall, and she kissed me. I tried to pull back, but she had me on lockdown.”

  Charlotte takes a deep breath. “She sure did have you on lockdown.”

  “I did not kiss her back.” I’m looking into Charlotte’s eyes, trying to find any doubt. If we are going to be together, she needs to believe me so we can move forward.

  “Why was she in the coffee shop?”

  “My bad luck. She showed up out of nowhere and pulled a chair up. No one invited her to sit.”

  Charlotte says nothing.

  I cup her face in my hands. “Charlotte, I’m telling the truth.”

  She kisses me, and I feel all her belief and trust in me. I know this is our moment. “Are you ready to step off the roller coaster once and for all?”

  “Together?”

  “Yes, together.”

  She nods.

  “No more going backward. Everything from now on is forward. You and I, together.”

  “You promise?” she whispers.

  I smile and brush her lips with mine. “I promise.”

  “Good because I love you. Don’t ever forget me again.”

  “I won’t. I love you. Don�
��t ever question it again.”

  Epilogue

  Charlotte

  A few weeks after the accident, I went back to work. During my time off, I disclosed to HR what happened the night Damon recorded the video. Xander didn’t waste any time getting an attorney involved, and Damon recanted his claim I was harassing him, and we still were involved within a few weeks.

  It didn’t take long for HR to wrap up their investigation. He was fired, and Xander’s attorneys continued to go after him.

  We finally got the original version of the video, and Damon signed papers under oath he hadn’t distributed the footage to anyone besides HR and this was the only copy.

  It has been a few months since my accident, and Xander and I are in a comfortable routine. Since we are in most of the same surgeries, we leave for work and come home together almost every day. Even though we are together most of the day, Xander still finds moments to leave blueberry muffins, coffee, or other little gifts for me in my locker.

  I’m about to close it when my phone beeps. The notification says, “NYSurgeon is waiting for you to make your next move.”

  I pause for a moment, thinking about all the memories I made with Xander playing this game. As tough as it was at times, there was a lot of laughter, too.

  I open up the board and read my letters. Smiling, I write “heartbeat” and throw my phone in my locker.

  Xander is already looking at the list for the day. He groans and turns to me. “Charlotte, you need to win rock, paper, scissors today. I can’t do it again.”

  I laugh. “It was only a three-hour surgery. It could have been longer.”

  Xander puts his hand on my back and guides me out of the locker room. We are halfway down the hall when he says, “Hey, I have something to show you tonight. Don’t make any plans.”

  “What’s that?”

  He grins at me. “I’m not telling you.”

  “You’re going to make me wonder all day what it can be?”

  He laughs. “Yep.”

  “You’re evil.”

  He kisses me on the top of my head and opens the door to the operating room. Tabi smirks at me, and I smirk back as she puts our gloves on us.

  Our day goes quickly, and after we shower and change, I pull out my phone and see a notification that Xander has just created a sixty-seven-point word. I write, “Nice job.”