I moved toward him.
Drawn.
Energy pulsed.
Almost suffocating it was so profound.
Swelling and swelling until both of us were taken under by the wave.
The second I got close enough, he reached for me and dragged me through the ring of admirers.
He looked at me as if I was the only person in the room. Big, strong hands cradled my face as he lifted me toward him.
He kissed me in the midst of it all.
As if I was the center of his world.
And I knew without a doubt, this boy was the eye of the storm.
The eye of my storm.
Relief gusted from him on a wheeze. He barely pulled back enough to whisper his plea. “Edie…don’t know how to do this without you. Don’t want to. Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t ever leave.”
Age Eighteen
My hands wandered. Wanting more.
“You’re killing me,” I murmured at the back of her head, my nose in her hair, palms pressing at her belly.
I drew her deeper into the well of my chest.
My dick strained.
So hard it was close to blinding.
This pent-up need close to driving me insane.
She pressed back, rubbing her sweet ass against my cock, easing some of the ache.
“Austin,” she whispered in confusion and need, all messed up with outright fear.
“I won’t hurt you. Ever,” I promise at her ear.
I rolled her onto her back and crawled over her, caging her in.
Her face was a silhouette in the shadows of her darkened room, the night so deep and dark we could hardly see.
I took her hand, pressed it to my cheek. My voice scraped with need. “Do you feel that, Edie?”
“What?” The word left her on a pant.
I released it against her lips. “Me.”
She sucked in a razor-sharp breath, the girl driving me wild when she grew near frantic as she searched me in the night.
Hands, tongue, and mouth.
It was an exploration I wasn’t sure either of us would survive.
Both of us needing more.
So damned much more.
The two of us were tied by the boundaries looming in front of us.
A clear line never to be crossed.
Hot hands spread out across my chest.
Strayed and searched.
Groaning, I joined in, my palms wandering and my fingers pressing.
Edie gasped.
Her head rocked back on her pillow, her hand a fist on my cock as my fingers plunged into the warmth of her body.
This girl was the brightest flame within my blackened soul.
Her trusting gaze latched onto mine, and I pumped my fingers faster.
Harder.
Edie came.
She bit down on her bottom lip to still her cries. “You. I feel you.”
And my body was manic, my underwear too tight, her hand not enough. “I want to be inside you. Please…Edie…please.”
She froze. All except for her fingernails that dug into my shoulders while I rubbed against her like a sick, twisted fuck.
“Wait,” she pled so quietly. Tears were suddenly streaming from the corners of her eyes and into her hair.
Hate for the bastard who’d touched her flamed, a torch to my skin.
It only stoked the hate I would always harbor for myself.
Life bleeding out.
I forced myself off her and flopped onto my back. I fisted the base of my dick, like it might soothe the ache. I flung my other forearm over my eyes.
“I’m so sorry.” It was a whimper from her sweet, sweet mouth.
And fuck, that right there?
That right there made me want to break.
Quickly, I rolled back toward her so both of us were facing the other on our sides. Strangers except in the shadows. I brushed my fingers through her hair. “No. Don’t say that. Not ever. It’s not your fault. I didn’t mean to push you. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
I saw her blink, the blue glinting diamond, aqua, and night.
“I love you, Austin.”
Everything shivered.
The energy tight.
Too fucking tight.
My chest squeezed.
My mind reeled with the magnitude of what I felt for this girl and what should be the impossibility of what she felt for me.
I palmed her face. Beauty in my hands. My thumbs caressed the moisture gathered in the hollow of her eyes. “You are my light.”
“Don’t ever leave.”
I probably was squeezing Edie too damned tight as I begged it into those silky strands of white, my hands fisting them tight.
I was struggling.
I had struggled through the whole damned set.
Usually I lost myself to the lyrics. The words I bled out for Julian. Offering him more of the penance I would forever live.
I hadn’t planned on singing her song.
But I’d felt overcome. Overcome with the rage that blistered through my veins. Rage directed at that bastard who had the audacity to text her and demand more of her than he’d already taken. That violent need had gotten bound up with the undying devotion I had for my girl.
So I played her the song. It was a song I’d written and played only for her during the years she was gone. Usually I played it within the quiet confines of my room. Sometimes on the rooftop of the Sunder house as I looked over the sprawling city below. Wondering where she was and if she was okay.
Those lonely nights had been spent praying she could somehow sense it…feel it…gain some kind of comfort from it even in our separation.
Playing it tonight?
I knew what it’d been. It’d been an obscured plea for her to hear me. For her to understand why I’d done what I’d done after she’d gone. All the while praying I could figure out how to fix it without her ever finding out.
I was so tired of always ruining the good I was given. This time I was going to make it right. Wipe away the horror that had seized her features when she’d looked down to find that text. Of course because she was Edie, she’d tried to hide it just as quickly, the girl trying to protect me.
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Her breath was at my ear. Whispering ease. I hugged her again. I allowed myself one more second of pretending it was only the two of us and there wasn’t anyone surrounding us.
Finally, I pulled away and threaded her fingers through mine. I turned and talked to a few of the people who’d come forward. Most of them were just there to tell me how much they’d enjoyed the show. Saying they were moved. Curious if I’d signed a deal or if I was waiting for my big break.
None of them had a clue that I was just an outsider in a world that was so much bigger than me.
That I was almost a part of greatness. A stranger to it all the same.
But I forced smiles and pleasantries, focused on my girl.
My strength.
A few of the chicks who always hung around hoping to take a bite out of any guy who had a mic or a guitar or a lick of talent circled like wolves. Like some kind of pathetic groupies. Waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
Not a fucking chance.
“Show was awesome, man,” Damian said once everyone had finally moved out of my space. He gave a clap to my back. “Craig will be pleased. Want me to grab you a beer?”
“Sure. That’d be cool.”
Blaire was right there. Grinning with a flirty cock of her head. “What about me?”
Damian’s head swiveled her direction. Like the guy was surprised she was talking to him. “Oh…sorry…can I get you something?”
She sidled up to him, linked her arm with his. “I’ll come with.”
I chuckled.
Dude never picked up on the scent right under his nose.
He lifted his chin to Edie. “How about you?”
“Um…a beer would be nice.” She said it almost like a
question.
So fucking cute.
“Got it.” Damian and Blaire disappeared into the crowd.
I turned to Edie. Kissed her softly. “Thank you for being here.”
“Where else would I be?”
I edged closer, lining us up in an embrace, my body just about eclipsing hers. “Nowhere but with me,” I reaffirmed.
She fiddled with the top button on my shirt, peeked up at me. “You were amazing, Austin. Truly amazing. I hope you realize that. How you affected everyone here. The songs…they’re brilliant.”
I gulped around the thickness evoked by her praise. Wanting to accept it. All the while my spirit rejected it. “I sing because I have to, Edie. Nothing more.”
She nodded like my statement made her sad.
Damian and Blaire broke back through the crowd. Damian lifted the beers he carried in the air. “Time to celebrate, suckers.”
“Oh, yeah? And what is it we’re celebrating?”
“Um…me being the most kickass manager you could ever have. I’d think that’d be obvious.”
I laughed. “All right then. Wouldn’t want the talent to go unrecognized, now would we?”
“Hell, no. That would be a damned travesty,” he said, widening his eyes like he couldn’t even fathom it.
Edie cast me a sweet, sweet glance, one that streaked through me like warm rays of bright summer sun, just as warm as the fingers she wound through mine. “Are you ready?”
Yeah.
I was ready.
Three hours later, we stepped out into the late Santa Cruz night. The Lighthouse lights clicked off behind us. A slight chill hung in the air, and a misty fog crawled through the streets. The sound of the sea crashed in the distance.
I hiked my duffle bag higher up on my shoulder and carried my guitar case in my other hand.
I glanced over at the girl walking at my side.
It felt like a miracle she was there.
She lifted her face to the thick clouds sagging from the sky. “It’s gorgeous tonight.”
I grinned. “It’s gloomy.”
She shot me a wry smile. “You don’t always need sunshine for the weather to be beautiful.”
My hungry gaze raked the girl.
I had to disagree.
Wholeheartedly.
This fucking gorgeous girl dressed up in a flowy white skirt and a fitted blue blouse, little heeled boots rising up to her ankles, wavy locks flying around her.
My sun.
“No?” I asked.
“No.” She lifted her hands out to her sides. “There’s beauty in all things. In the deepest night and in the brightest day. In the snow and in the sun.” Her voice dropped. “Sometimes the greatest beauty is in the darkest storms.”
I breathed out, leaned in close enough I could press a kiss to her head. “Edie.”
It was a statement.
This girl who got me the way no one else ever could.
Our footsteps echoed as we walked the deserted streets to where my truck was parked along the curb. Considering the late hour, it sat by itself. “This is me.”
Last night I’d had Deak’s car. Figured since I had a hot date, she might want an AC that actually worked.
A smile lit up Edie’s face, a question in her teasing tone. “This is you?”
“What? You don’t like Bessie?”
She ran her fingertips along the outside panel of the bed. “Oh I like Bessie. I think she’s perfect for you.”
Bessie was an old girl, dinged up body and rusted from the sea. I’d scrounged together enough money when I’d first left L.A., knowing if I wanted to roam, I needed a ride. I’d figured she wouldn’t get me far. Yet somehow she’d taken me exactly where I needed to be.
I hoisted my guitar case up and over the side, setting it in the bed. “She’s been damned good to me, that’s for sure.”
I moved and pressed Edie up against the metal, my mouth coming in close, lips brushing her jaw. “She doesn’t look like much, but she brought me to you.”
Edie was all smiles as she gazed up at me. “Then I’d say Bessie is my new best friend.”
I groaned, lust clutching my guts, because this girl. She had me in knots. “Let’s get out of here,” I said.
“Where are we going?”
“Ice cream?” Seemed safe enough.
She feigned a gasp. “You want to get ice cream on such a gloomy night?”
Laughter rolled from my chest. “Well…I guess it is a beautiful night, after all.”
On the passenger side, I wedged the key into the old lock, opened the creaking door, and helped Edie into the cab, before I rounded the front. She leaned over and unlocked my side just as I got there, and I was slanting her a wide grin as I climbed up and tossed my bag in the middle of the bench.
There was something so completely normal about the act. Like we were an ordinary couple who didn’t have the need to hide or pretend.
Two people who weren’t ashamed.
It felt…good.
Right.
I turned over the ignition, and the big engine rumbled to life. Ten minutes later, we were pulling into the drive-thru of the 24-hour ice cream shop.
“Plain vanilla cone for me,” Edie said, while I ordered a vanilla dipped in chocolate.
“Here you go, baby.”
Redness flushed her cheeks at the affection, but she didn’t do anything but give me one of those smiles that twisted through me when she accepted it.
She licked up the side, moaned a little.
Good God.
I cocked my head, shot her a smirk and lifted a brow, accelerating as I did.
So maybe I had some ulterior motives when I suggested we get ice cream. But damn. I remembered the one time we’d shared it before, me sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night and grabbing a tub from the freezer and two spoons, two of us sharing it in bed.
The little noises she’d made.
The taste it’d left on her tongue.
Who could blame me that I wanted to experience it again?
I drove the short distance back to her place. Little droplets of rain pelted the windshield as we drove in comfortable silence. Both of us relaxed and enjoyed the ice cream. The company. The change and the chance.
One I didn’t think I’d ever get.
I parked under a big shade tree in the front of her yard, cut the engine. Silence descended, the little house Edie shared with Blaire and Jed sleeping. A foggy mist hugged the truck and the sky. The subdued glow of the moon peeking out in a break in the gray, heavy clouds was the only illumination.
Peace.
We both sat there, licking at our ice creams, me watching her and her watching me.
She giggled.
A grin took hold of my mouth. “What?”
“You’ve got a little something…” She reached out and wiped a fleck of chocolate from my chin, lifted it out between us. “…right here.”
I leaned forward and sucked her finger into my mouth.
Chocolate and girl.
Fucking delicious.
“Mmm.”
The freest laughter rang from her, and she jerked her hand back. “Watch yourself, Stone. I might get the impression your intentions were more than just to please me with the most awesome ice cream in the whole wide world.”
Oh yeah.
I had all kinds of intentions.
She sat there grinning at me in the big cab of the truck, not even noticing the glob of her ice cream going for a slippery slide. It dropped onto her shirt. “Oh crap.”
She cupped her hand under the vanilla that began to melt faster than she’d expected, quick to lap up the rest, laughing the whole time. “Oh my God, look at me, I’m a total mess.”
Did she think I’d ever stop looking at her?
I popped the rest of my cone into my mouth, unzipped my bag. “Hang on a sec…has to be something in here you can clean up with.”
I rooted around in the bag, finding a clean, folded up tee
at the bottom. I yanked it out.
My breath locked with what I dragged out when I did.
The green monkey flipped up and landed in a heap on its side, body tattered and dirty, one of the arms hanging on by barely a thread, the forever grinning white face peeping out.
The damned stuffed animal my twin had carried with him everywhere. The one thing that’d set us apart. His security blanket.
Now I took it with me wherever I went. Still wasn’t sure if I thought it was comfort for me or for him.
Edie frowned when she saw it, before she slowed in awareness, glancing up at me for my reaction.
She’d never seen it before.
Of course she hadn’t.
Baz had had it all those years. That was until the day I left L.A. last, when I’d gone hunting for it and found it in his room.
Edie picked up the shirt, her movements slowed as she dabbed the goop of ice cream from her shirt and wiped her hands clean.
Every so often she glanced at me.
Gauging.
Calculating.
Understanding.
Setting the shirt aside, her fingertips crawled out, moving just far enough to stroke the plush fabric, as if she were petting it. “Was this Julian’s?”
Hearing his name come from her mouth the way it did? With some kind of adoration?
Brutal, searing pain cut me right down the middle.
I squeezed my eyes closed, just as tightly as I squeezed my fist against my leg, trying to keep it contained.
“I can’t imagine how hard it is for you.” She released it on a murmur as she continued to pet the monkey while she stole quick glimpses at me. “Can’t imagine how much you must miss him.”
Could almost feel my Adam’s apple getting caught in the web that’d grown thick in my throat. Trapped in the memories. In the misery. For once in my life, I wanted to climb free of it.
Fuck. I just didn’t know how.
My teeth ground, and I stared out the windshield that was now clouded with fog and condensation.
Closing us in.
Like we were back in the sanctuary of her room back in L.A.
I found myself speaking before I even realized what I was going to say. “It’s not as simple as me missing him, Edie. It’s that he’s a missing part of me. And being without that piece makes me feel like I’m forever drowning. Like I can never get a full breath. Like my heart doesn’t beat all the way.”
Wait (Bleeding Stars #4) Page 15
