Wait (Bleeding Stars #4)

by A. L. Jackson

  “Your daddy should be finished with work really soon. Why don’t you run into the back office and gather up your things?”

  This morning, she’d come rushing in at the crack of dawn with her backpack bouncing on her back, the bag stuffed full of coloring books and paper dolls. She’d somehow convinced her dad it was much more important for her to help me in the shop today than a day of summer school could ever be.

  So here she was.

  Keeping me company.

  Helping me keep my thoughts focused on the here and now instead of drifting back to last night. Back to that miraculous boy who made me feel so free.

  Considering she kept having to snap me out of my daydreams, apparently my concentration was shot.

  The door banged behind her as she disappeared into the back, just as the front door chime jingled. All the guys plus Blaire piled in, lugging the equipment after today’s lessons.

  Clay shot me one of his overabundant grins. “Hey there, gorgeous. See you managed to hold the fort down for the entire day. Still standing. I’d say today was a success.”

  Clay was probably one of the most positive guys you could run across. He wasn’t even a cup half full kind of guy. His was just always overflowing.

  “Yep. No major disasters other than a bottle of spilt milk, so I’d call that a win.”

  Kane roughed a hand through his dark brown hair, fighting a grin. “And I’m gonna step out and guess that spilt milk might have to do with one little hurricane running around here today.”

  Before I had the time to answer, Heidi came barreling back into the shop, her arms raised over her head as she flew across the floor. “Daddy!”

  He swooped her up, tossed her into the air, hugged her tight. “There’s the love of my life,” he said.

  God. How much he adored that child.

  My chest felt a little tight, but I couldn’t look away as he peppered her with kisses.

  She wiggled. “Eww…Daddy. You’re still all wet.”

  He scoffed playfully. “Well I am wearing my wet suit, so you shouldn’t be surprised when it gets you all wet.”

  She howled with laughter as he tickled her, the two of them getting lost in their own little world.

  Jed shot me an off-putting, sidelong glance when he passed, following Deak to the back wall where they stored the rental boards.

  What was that?

  Blaire came behind the sales counter where I stood. She forced out a hard exhale as she started to wiggle out of her wet suit. Totally struggling. “I swear, I’m going to break my neck one of these days trying to get out of this thing.”

  I giggled. “Need a little help?”

  She widened her eyes with the tease, balancing on one foot. “Oh, I need a lot of help. But I think I can handle this.”

  She stumbled as she yanked it free. “Okay, maybe I can’t even handle this.”

  When she finally freed herself, she lifted the rubbery, black body suit like a trophy. “Score. I do believe that earned me a margarita.”

  “Don’t get too proud of yourself, Care Blaire,” Clay called. “You think taking a breath earns you a margarita.”

  Clay loved to bait her. The two of them were constantly going round and round.

  She popped a hand on her hip. “Says the guy who showed up to work still drunk this morning. On a Wednesday.”

  “Hey, where the hell do you think the name Topsy Turvy Tuesday came from?” He was all unremorseful grins.

  “Um…from you?” But Blaire was grinning too, gathering her things and heading out to help Clay and Kane with the life vests.

  Deak joined them, and they headed into the back where they were stored, Heidi chattering nonstop as she trailed behind.

  Jed hung back, and I knew it was on purpose, because normally he would have been right in the middle of putting everything away.

  Tension filled the room.

  I tried to keep my attention down, trained on end of the day paperwork, because I wasn’t sure I could deal with Jed’s judgement right then. But I couldn’t keep ignoring him when he was suddenly there, right behind me.

  “What are you doing, Edie?”

  “Paperwork?” It came out a question because I knew full well that wasn’t the answer he was looking for.

  He scoffed. “You know that’s not what I’m asking you. I want to know what you’re doing. A week ago, you’re jumping up and running from this asshole, looking like you’ve seen a damned ghost. Scared. Next thing I know, I wake up in the morning and you’ve never even been home, and that very same night you’re out in his truck in the middle of the night like some kind of cheap whore.”

  He might as well have slapped me.

  I reeled around, facing him. “What did you say?”

  Frustrated, he raked a hand through his hair. “Shit. I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. But fuck, Edie… You deserve so much better than that. I’d treat you like a queen.”

  My head reared back, his implied words so clear.

  My entire being rattled with even the idea, the thought of fully giving my body still ushering in a surge of fear.

  My accusation was thick, coated with embarrassment. “You were watching us?”

  “I wasn’t watching you, Edie. I was worried about you. There’s a fucking difference and you know it. And never in all the time I’ve known you have you not come home at night. Never dated or flirted. And I…I…”

  Harshly he shook his head, looked at the ground. “Shit.”

  Sadness spread slowly, this man who’d never been anything but kind. And I knew he was hurting. That he’d had illusions that he and I would one day grow into an us.

  “I was waiting for him.”

  The truth of that statement slammed me.

  Pain sheered across Jed’s face, his tone almost pleading. “But he broke your heart.”

  He didn’t know the story. Of course he didn’t. But I knew he’d made his own assumptions about my past life. That he had no clue.

  I couldn’t blame him.

  I’d never allowed anyone to get close to me.

  Only Austin.

  Only Austin.

  “He did,” I admitted softly. “But I think I broke his, too.”

  I swallowed around the regret I felt at hurting Jed. Because I loved him. I did. The way I loved a brother.

  “I will forever be grateful for everything you’ve done for me.” I lifted my hands out at my sides, offering up the shop as evidence. “For taking me in and giving me a job.”

  My voice lowered in emphasis. “For your friendship.”

  I blinked, and my chest squeezed with the admission. “But my heart…it’s always belonged to him.”

  All the broken pieces.

  Austin was the one who held them together.

  The same way as I held his.

  “Not gonna stop fighting for you, Edie. I can’t.”

  My face pinched, and I pressed my hands to my chest. “Jed…you have to stop fighting for something that’s not there. You’re going to realize it one day…that you’re meant for another. She’s out there. I promise.”

  He was shaking his head to refute me when everyone came bustling out from the back.

  Deak clapped his hands together. “Let’s call it a day, shall we?”

  “Day!” Heidi shouted, jumping around.

  Blaire rounded the counter. She hopped up to sit on it, facing me. “Day,” she mouthed.

  I chuckled, trying to let go of the unease rippling through me, hating that I’d unknowingly hurt Jed. Knowing it would take him time to accept I was right.

  Twenty minutes later, I locked the front door behind us, and everyone filtered out and into the approaching evening.

  “Who wants to grab a beer?” Deak asked, turning to walk backward, grinning back at us.

  “I’m in,” Clay said.

  “Of course you are.” Yeah. Blaire was right there with that one.

  Clay raised his brows. “And you’re not coming?”

&n
bsp; “Uh… Margarita, remember?”

  “Right.”

  “I’m game,” Jed said.

  Kane palmed the top of Heidi’s head. “I have a hot date with the prettiest girl in Santa Cruz. Gonna have to pass it up.”

  Heidi grinned up at him as if she was looking at her hero.

  Emotion twisted my insides, and I almost called out that I’d find a ride home since I’d ridden into work with Blaire and Jed, when my gaze drifted to the left.

  Drawn.

  God.

  This boy.

  Austin leaned up against the side of his truck. The truck that sent a rush of red up to flush my cheeks, the memories making my knees weak with the way he made me feel.

  With him, I felt like I could fly.

  Something like a smirk took over that pouty mouth, and I shivered, my voice probably as weak as my knees when I called to Blaire, “Um…I think I got a ride.”

  “I bet you have a ride.” She winked, catching up to Clay, Deak, and her brother, while my footsteps diverted.

  I glanced both ways, quick to trot against the road, until I was flush with his chest, pushing up on my toes, stealing another one of those kisses I’d never been brave enough to steal.

  Heaven.

  That’s what it was. His mouth on mine, his hands pulling me close, his breath washing over me.

  “See, I promised,” he mumbled at my mouth.

  A giggle rolled free, and I clutched his shirt. “Promise I’ll see you every day for forever.”

  I tried to keep it playful. To keep out the desperate hope that blossomed within it.

  Austin softened, ran his hand over my head, cupping the side. “We’re going to have to see if that can be arranged.”

  Butterflies scattered. I couldn’t stop them if I tried.

  Austin tilted his head, the boy so beautiful he stole the air from my swelling lungs. “I think I’d like that.”

  He wound my fingers through his. Without further words, we walked as if we were called. Down to the beach where I kicked off my shoes. Austin released me, held back and watched as I dipped my toes in the cool, cool water. The gentle waves rippled, embracing me up to just above my ankles.

  Just like they’d done before.

  My invitation the same.

  For this boy to touch on what he’d lost.

  Wind rustled through, whipping my hair around my face. Hugging my arms across my chest, I watched the sun as it began its descent, the calm so great up against that constant chaos that moved around us.

  I glanced over my shoulder at the boy. The intensity stark and severe. Vast and profound. Rays of burning light blazed down on him, the striking, defined lines of his gorgeous face cast in golds and reds.

  Edged in twilight.

  A storm brewed in his expression, his hands fists at his sides, his breaths harsh, though I knew he tried to keep them controlled.

  His demons fought to be brought out into the light that was giving way to dark.

  I took one step deeper into the ocean, and turned to face him.

  The eye of my storm.

  I stared at him as the tide rushed against my calves. Silently, I fed him all the faith I could find inside myself, pouring it into him.

  Praying he could feel it.

  His jaw clenched and he took a step back.

  Away.

  Refusing my invitation.

  Harboring all that hurt and holding on to every regret.

  This beautiful, broken boy was lost for one more day.

  Three weeks passed this way. Just Austin and me. Renewing the faith that had been damaged. Finding the hope we’d lost. Breathing our belief into one another.

  He pushed my boundaries. And I pushed his.

  “Wait,” I whispered.

  I asked for it. More time. Even though we both knew one day our walls would crumble.

  Edie moaned around the mouthful of lasagna she had in her mouth.

  Homemade.

  Only the best for my girl.

  “Oh my God…it should be a crime for anything to taste this good.”

  I shot a smirk at her from where she sat across from me at the small table in my house.

  Her brow dented and her eyes narrowed. “Are you thinking dirty thoughts, Austin Stone?”

  I shrugged. “Possibly.”

  “More like possibly definitely,” she said, nudging the sole of my boot with the toe of her shoe under the table.

  She had me there.

  “You are sitting three feet away from me…making noises like that. What did you think I would be thinking about?”

  The tease was clear, all mixed up with an undertone of seriousness.

  Drop-dead seriousness.

  Because this was Edie Evans we were talking about. The girl who blew me away every time she stepped into the room. Stealing more and more of my breath. Becoming my air.

  A blush flushed her cheeks. But that sweet innocence? It was always there beneath the flirty ease that seemed to show up more and more often with each day that passed.

  “I like when you think about me.” She said it low.

  I groaned and leaned forward. I stared at her striking face through the flicker of candles arranged at the center of the table. “Not when, Edie. All the damned time. Every second of every minute of every day. I don’t know how to stop thinking about you.”

  Didn’t want to, either.

  She looked at me the way she’d been looking at me for the last three weeks. Like maybe she saw the man I’d left my brother’s house to find. The man I wanted to be.

  Kind of the way Shea looked at Baz.

  Like I was her meaning.

  Her life.

  And I wanted to be the one strong enough to stand at her side. Protect her.

  Her voice was a wisp. “Don’t ever stop.”

  I set down my fork, pushed back my chair. “Come here.”

  She slid out. Desire belted me when she stood, the girl so bright amid the shadows, something so pure and good in the dark.

  She curled onto my lap, slender arms around my neck, so much joy and contentment in the sigh she released at my throat.

  My guts knotted in lust and devotion. I pressed my nose into her hair. “Won’t ever stop. I never did. All the years we lost still belonged to you.”

  She peeked up at me. Her words were breathy and sunk straight into me. “We shouldn’t waste any more.”

  My grin was slow and my heartbeat was fast. “No, baby, we most definitely should not.”

  We sat there for a while, just enjoying the peace. I’d basically threatened Damian and Deak with their lives if they showed up back home before midnight tonight.

  Date night, and all.

  Seemed crazy doing such normal, couple things.

  Spectacular.

  I patted her thigh. “Hop up. I’ll do the dishes really quick and then we can head down to the beach. I got us a bottle of wine.”

  “You know exactly how to woo a girl, don’t you, Austin Stone? Make dinner? Do the dishes? Wine? Could I ask for anything more?”

  Everything about her had gone coy, from the tease falling from her lips to the perfect curves of her body, her shorts short and her tank tight, legs so damned long.

  But it was the soft tenderness in those wells of aqua that captured me.

  “I might just have someone really important to impress.”

  She giggled. God, I loved that sound. Making her that way.

  Happy.

  “Is that right?”

  I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “That’s right.”

  She climbed off and helped me to stand. “Come on…I’ll help so we can get finished faster.”

  “Someone’s anxious.”

  “Um…you did say wine, didn’t you?”

  I laughed toward the ceiling and gathered our plates. “That I did.”

  We headed into the kitchen, rinsing the dishes and shoving them into the dishwasher. We worked effortlessly side by side.

 
My phone buzzed where it sat on the counter.

  I glanced at the screen.

  Dread skidded beneath the surface of my skin, my heart stalling out.

  Baz.

  He never called.

  And I meant never.

  Our correspondence over the last three years had been entirely through texts and letters.

  My throat grew thick, and I gulped around it as it went to voicemail.

  Edie scraped a plate. “Who was that?”

  I didn’t even have time to answer before it was ringing again.

  Her gaze landed on my phone, and she quickly darted her attention up to my face, just barely lifting her chin in that silent, powerful encouragement she always gave. “You should get that.”

  Should I?

  I stepped back. Unsure. Hating the fear that clawed at my senses. Making me feel small and useless. That fucking worthless kid who only ever made things worse for his brother.

  I forced it down, my stomach raw as I picked up the phone. I stared at it for a beat before I accepted the call and put it to my ear. I was already walking toward the back sliding door when I said his name. “Baz.”

  Choked it really.

  Because I hadn’t heard his voice in so damned long and I had no idea why he was calling me now.

  “Austin.” It sounded just as thick as mine. Low laughter vibrated through the space, disbelieving and incredulous. “God…you sound different.”

  Cool air collided with my heated skin when I stepped out onto the wooden porch overlooking the beach spread out below. I closed the door behind me.

  Wind gusted through the trees and the sea howled at the night.

  Peace and chaos.

  “A lot of time has passed,” I said. I was crushing the phone to my ear like it could break up the tension when I felt his hesitation and turmoil through the line.

  Apprehension clutched my words. “What’s going on?”

  I aimed for it to come off casual. Like this was just a normal fucking conversation on a normal fucking day.

  Wishful fucking thinking.

  “Need you to come home, man. To L.A.”

  Saliva pooled in my mouth. Soured in my stomach when I swallowed it down. I stared out into the obscured horizon. Endless darkness. An abyss of black.

  The ocean moaned, forever a prisoner to its unrest.