Wait (Bleeding Stars #4)

by A. L. Jackson

  Frantic, my eyes scanned.

  Everything seized when I saw the door to the left of the stage, hidden and forgotten in the hollows.

  I ran toward it and grabbed the knob. I yanked it.

  Locked.

  Terror burned, suffocating, and I stepped back, lifted the sole of my boot so I could slam it against the door.

  It rattled but stayed.

  I did it again.

  And again.

  I just fucking kicked and kicked until it splintered and gave. It slammed open, and it collided against the inside wall. Without hesitation, I went bolting through.

  Edie.

  Violence clawed beneath the surface of my skin.

  Paul had her pinned up against a big box pushed up on the far wall. In shock, he turned to look over his shoulder when he heard me crashing through.

  But I knew.

  There was no missing it in those terrified, aqua eyes, what the piece of shit had intended to do.

  “Austin.” My name left her on strangled relief, and she sagged when he spun around and released her.

  Fuck, I hardly knew how to make sense of it. The fact my girl was here after the way I’d betrayed her the other night.

  Rage tweaked my muscles and my hands curled into fists. Propelled by pent-up fury and unstoppable hate, I rushed.

  I lunged right for the asshole.

  Edie yelped and jumped out of the way.

  Somewhere in the fog of my mind, I could hear Ash’s voice cutting through the stifling air. “Edie…oh God…tell me you’re okay. What the hell are you doing here? Edie.”

  But I couldn’t process it. My focus was on the man at the root of it all. Full force, I rammed him.

  I hit him in the stomach with my shoulder. On impact, I locked my arms around his waist and knocked him from his feet.

  We flew.

  It only fed the darkness, fueled the rage, my veins burning fire. We landed hard, a tangle of limbs and harsh, bitter grunts, an outright battle to come out on top.

  I did.

  Because I wasn’t about to let this piece of shit win.

  I knew Ash was right there, on edge, muscles tight. Tense with adrenaline. At the ready to jump in. Having not the first clue what we were fighting for other than the fact the prick had his little sister locked away in a storage room.

  That in itself would be enough to turn things south.

  But if he knew how deep it went?

  He would have lost it. Same way as me.

  “Motherfucker.” Paul’s grunted curse was low, eyes wide with both confusion and shock.

  Though maybe not as shocked as when I cocked back my arm and drove my fist like a hammer into his face.

  I delivered two crushing jabs.

  Skin split.

  Blood poured.

  I gripped him by the shirt, yanked him up, and slammed him against the concrete floor. “You fucking bastard. Did you really think I was going to let you get away with touching her again?”

  “What the fuck is this?” he grunted, fighting back, fool just catching on to the fact he wasn’t there to get a slice of Sunder.

  But I sure as hell was gonna take a piece of him.

  “Warned you I’d kill you,” I seethed, my teeth gnashing, desperate to make good on the threat.

  A hand flew free and clipped me on the chin.

  Caught off guard, I rocked back, and he scrambled free, on his feet and coming at me, his laughter loud.

  Maniacal.

  “You want to go down for that little slut? Fucking bitch…sent me to jail for the last four years. She’s gonna pay. One way or the other. Might as well take it out on you.”

  Dude had to be off-kilt mad throwing those words at me. And let’s not forget Edie’s brother was standing right the fuck there. Trying to make sense of the details.

  Adding it up.

  Knew it would only be a few seconds before he finally caught up.

  Apparently the dickbag had missed the notice that a few years had passed. Because I sure as shit wasn’t a scrawny kid anymore. The second he pounced, I knocked him back with a jab. A direct blow to his nose.

  Cartilage cracked and blood gushed. It splattered across his face and the dingy floor. Didn’t even give him time to cry out like the bitch he was before I was on him.

  Boxes toppled over, glass shattering and metal equipment clattering where it spilled onto the floor as I drove him back like a battle ram. I pinned him to the wall. He struggled and my hold increased as I laid it out, words grit as I spit them toward his face, the shot of laughter that left me bitter. “You think Edie did this to you? That sweet girl you about destroyed? You really think it was her? Why don’t you think about it a little harder, asshole?”

  My voice went lethally quiet. “Think about it. Or didn’t you have enough time to figure it out while you rotted behind bars for the last four years? Did that warped conscious of yours ever let you in on the deal? Did you finally get it…finally understand why I sent you there? Did you really think for one second I would stand aside and let you get away with what you did?”

  A sob ripped from Edie. God, I wanted to crawl to her on my hands and knees. Beg her to forgive me for what I was doing.

  Instead, I focused on the fear of losing her for good, directed all of it on Paul. The asshole whose eyes rounded on the impact of my words, the reality of my admission hitting him like an avalanche.

  Bricks raining down.

  “Tell me,” I demanded.

  “You,” he spat.

  “What the fuck…someone—” Ash’s cringed desperation barely broke the red haze of hate that gripped me everywhere. My muscles ticked and that ugly, vile place inside screamed at me to just do him in.

  End it.

  “Yeah. Me. And I’d fucking do it again…a million times over. Wish I would’ve done more, because you and I both know four years of you gone won’t undo what you did to her.”

  He sneered. “I did to her? She wanted it.”

  Violence skated the surface of my skin. I lifted him from the floor, pinned him high on the wall, everything pouring out. “It won’t erase you from her skin or her memories. Won’t erase her pain or erase her fear. Won’t erase the fact her daughter is somewhere out there…being raised by someone else.”

  Edie wailed, and suddenly Ash was behind me, a ball of rage that blistered across the floor. “Someone needs to tell me what the fuck is happening and do it now because I’m about half a second from losing my shit.”

  Sobs.

  My girl.

  Angel.

  My chest tightened so damned tight, and I winced. Blinked through the daze, realizing what I’d allowed to pass through my lips. The secret I was always supposed to hold.

  Somehow this showdown had become a spectator sport, because I could feel the eyes, the barely contained restraint of my brother, Lyrik, and Zee, Baz’s girl behind them.

  Fuck.

  “Edie,” I whispered, wanting to soothe her. To calm her. To let her know it was going to be okay.

  Set her free.

  My words grated like broken glass. “Baby…it’s okay…it’s okay.”

  Baby.

  There it was.

  Out there.

  For the first time offered up like a revelation.

  Without shame or disgrace or scandal.

  Without all the bullshit hiding.

  A whimpered cry broke from her mouth.

  Ash ripped at his hair, his expression tormented as he spun around and angled his attention at his sister, pointing a demanding finger Paul’s way. “This piece of shit hurt you? What did he do to you? Tell me what’s happening, Edie. Tell me right the fuck now what Austin is talking about.”

  Paul laughed. “I didn’t hurt her. She was begging me to fuck her.”

  Ash roared, and suddenly Lyrik and Baz were there, holding him back as he struggled against their hold. All of them knew if Ash lost it like this, things were going to get ugly and fast.

  A cry
erupted from Edie.

  Excruciating.

  Like that single sound had been harbored inside her for a billion years. A fiery boil of compressed magma that had waited beneath. Pressure building and building until there was no stopping the force and it burst free.

  Edie’s face twisted with disbelief. Hurt. And some kind of profound determination.

  Courage.

  The prick flailed. Fighting against my hands. Fighting for breath. Fighting a fight there was no use fighting for.

  “You stole everything from me.” Her words were a fractured whisper. “You stole my innocence. My future. You took advantage of me.” She knocked her fist against her chest. “Violated me.”

  She gasped around a splintered breath. “And when I begged you for help, you laughed in my face. Shamed me. So don’t you dare stand there and say you didn’t hurt me.”

  He clawed at my wrist, breaking free long enough to spew the words. “You were begging me to fuck you.”

  I rammed him back down. “Shut the fuck up, asshole.” I looked at my girl, urging her with my eyes to continue. To lay it all out. To get it out.

  Maybe then she might finally be able to let some of this go.

  Shimmery streams of tears streaked down her face. “No,” she said, her voice growing bold. Like maybe it was the first time she believed it. “No. You’re wrong.”

  My heart damned near seized.

  So fucking beautiful.

  Broken like me.

  So many fractured, splintered pieces.

  I felt each of them out there hovering at the fringes of our messed-up lives.

  Quivering. Rattling in wait.

  Like magnets repelled until they suddenly shifted and flew.

  Careening as they sped.

  Brought together by that unavoidable lure.

  The energy and the force.

  Crashing together to become one.

  My mirror.

  I slammed Paul back against the wall. My fists were balled up in his shirt, pressing under his chin. “She was fourteen.” The bitter accusation slid from my mouth below my breath, up close to his face where no one else could hear.

  “Where I come from…that’s called rape. When I had you meet me, I expected it to be just you and me. Figured we’d go round and round until one of us didn’t get up. But considering we have an audience, looks like it’s your lucky day. So listen closely, asshole…if you even breathe in her direction, ever again, I will erase you. You got me?”

  Ash raged. Hooking onto the heart of it. Finally getting what really went down all those years ago.

  Edie sobbed quietly in the corner.

  I gulped around the guilt and fear in my throat. “I asked a question, motherfucker. Do you get me? Because I promise you, if I have to come for you again, it won’t only be me knocking on your door.”

  Pussy’s expression was riddled with fear. I suddenly released him and he slid to the ground. I landed a swift kick to his side.

  Just in case the bastard needed an extra reminder.

  Mouth wide open, he curled on his side, moaning as he rocked. He managed to climb onto all fours. He was barely able to stand when he pushed to his feet. He was gasping for pained breaths when he began to limp toward the door.

  Lyrik lurched at him. Threatening as he past. An affirmation that what I’d been saying was true.

  I wouldn’t be the only one coming for him if he ever showed his face again.

  Ash fought to break free, shouting as he raged. “Watch your back, asshole…watch your fucking back. You touch my sister?”

  Paul didn’t look up. Just slinked out like the pussy he was.

  Bastards like that? They were always preying on the weak. Taking from those who couldn’t defend themselves. Tucking tail the second someone with the ability stands up to hold the bitch accountable.

  As soon as he dropped out of sight, it was instant.

  The way the silence pulled and tugged so goddamned tight.

  The distress hovering around us was enough to snuff out those bits of hope I’d felt when I’d stood on that stage feeling like a goddamned king.

  Now I stood there a beggar.

  Warily, my gaze shifted to Edie.

  Her entire face twisted.

  In disbelief.

  In horror.

  In this gut-wrenching sorrow I felt cut straight to my soul.

  “How could you?”

  Her hand pressed to her stomach. Like she was trying to keep herself from crumbling.

  “How could you? My brother…oh my God.”

  Her head shook. “Twice, Austin. Twice I trusted you with my secret. And twice you gave it away. And then…t-t-then you’ve been lying to me? Acting like you didn’t know anything about the texts when you were responsible all along? I trusted you. I believed in you. I came home for you.”

  She blinked. Shaking. Disoriented.

  She stepped back, knocked into a box.

  Shocked.

  “I can’t…”

  Baz broke through the torment. “Shea…baby…why don’t you get Edie out of here? Think she needs some time and the rest of us need to cool down.”

  Shea gave him a quick nod, their eyes locking in a silent conversation as she edged into the room, her voice soft when she got close to Edie.

  “Hey, Edie. I’m Shea.” She brushed her fingers gently through my girl’s hair. “What do you say we get out of here? Just the girls…you and me and Tamar. Get you some air.”

  Disconnected, Edie blinked, nodded, mumbled, “Okay.”

  Shea began to lead her out.

  Ash’s plea broke in pain. “Edie.”

  Shea slanted him a look that said later, Edie tucked into her shoulder, leaning against her as she led her out.

  And fuck.

  I wanted to run for her. Chase her down and drop to my knees. Beg for the forgiveness I knew I didn’t deserve.

  Instead, I stood there panting, my heart beating so hard I was sure it would break free of the confines of my chest.

  Because if Edie was gone?

  It was too.

  Be careful with me.

  That’s all she’d asked.

  And I’d fucked it up.

  Took the good and crushed it in careless hands.

  I stood staring at the empty doorway, before I warily looked over at Ash.

  His back was to my brother’s chest, Baz still gripping him by the arms, but he’d loosened his hold.

  Tension bounced around the walls of the small room.

  Ash’s brow twisted in spite as everything slowly sank in. Penetrated his being. His entire face pinched when he forced out the words. “You were sleeping with her? With my baby sister…when I brought her into our house when she was seventeen? When I was the one who was supposed to be taking care of her? The one responsible for her?”

  Emotion squeezed all over. Regret. Hope. Bright blips and flickers of unfound dreams.

  The girl who’d awakened the dead places inside me. The one who’d breathed life back into the broken.

  Firelight.

  It glowed so bright.

  Slowly, I shook my head, everything raw. “No, Ash, I wasn’t sleeping with her. I was falling in love with her.”

  He shook his head, harsh, and Baz released him. He slanted his fingers through his blond hair, staring at the ground for a beat, before he looked up at me. “She had a kid?”

  I nodded, not able to meet his eye. Didn’t matter that the secret had already been betrayed.

  Seemed wrong to be offering him the details.

  “Fuck.” He shouted it toward the ceiling. “How the fuck did this happen?”

  Helpless, I looked at him. “That’s something you’ve got to talk to her about. I’ve already said too much.”

  He pushed out a weighted breath, raked an agitated hand down over his chin. “You been with her the whole time? This whole damned time when I thought she was out there finding herself? Because that sure sounds a whole lot like what you’ve claimed
to have been up to, don’t you think?”

  “No,” I said, roughing a palm over my face. “No, man…she took off because that piece of shit found out…”

  My fault.

  Again.

  “And I…I left to find myself. Because without her it felt like everything was missing. And somehow, in this great big world, we found each other.”

  Frustration shook my head. “But you know my MO, Ash. I’m given chance after chance, and every damned time, I turn around and fuck it up again.”

  Hesitation stalled me, and I warred with what to say. How to lay it out there for Edie’s brother. Because I was so done with all the hiding. Done with treating what Edie and I had as something dirty and disgraceful. Not when it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever had.

  A gift.

  I looked him straight. “I love her.”

  It was the most honest thing I’d ever said.

  “But I messed up,” I continued. “I messed up bad. Should have just told her. Come clean about what I did and why I did it. But Paul? I don’t regret it. He needed to pay. Needed out of her life for as long as I could possibly make it happen. And if I’m the one who has to pay the price by losing her, I’ll swallow it. It’ll fuckin’ destroy me, but I’ll swallow it.”

  His stare was riddled with guilt. “Why didn’t she just tell me?”

  Grief and affection clotted in my throat. “Think tonight was the first time she really accepted it wasn’t her fault.”

  His mouth twisted, and he jerked his head. “Need to get out of here. Gonna crack.”

  Ash pushed around Zee who moved out of his way. I started after him. Lyrik set a hand on my chest. “Let him go, man. You just unleashed a shit storm. He needs some time to process what this all means.”

  Emotion crawled up and down my throat like a caged cat. I gave a hard nod, having no clue what I was supposed to do now.

  Baz sighed. “Come on…let’s get out of here.”

  Nothing was said while we packed up our things. Mood somber. We headed out back where Baz’s truck was parked in the backlot. I set his electric guitar in the bed of his truck, climbed into the front passenger seat.

  I kept checking my phone. Antsy. Feeling that missing piece aching out from within.

  Baz turned the key in the ignition, backed out, and pulled onto the street. He kept stealing curious glances at me while he drove, like he was both fighting a grin and a lecture.