The Secrets Duet

by Brownell, Rachael

  “Oh! Cam. Hey, how are you?” She asks, stuttering a little. It’s been over a month since we’ve broken up, but I have a feeling she might not be over it just yet by the way she’s looking at me.

  “Fine. Sorry I ran you over. I gotta go.” I don’t wait for her response before I turn in the opposite direction and head to my second-period class back on the other side of campus. This is going to be a long fucking year if I have to walk back and forth all the damn time.

  I hear her running to catch up with me, the click of her heels getting closer and closer. I slip into the men’s room to avoid having this conversation with her. There is no way I will take her back. There are only two things I will not put up with. Lying and cheating. She did both and if she thinks we’ll be able to reconcile our differences then she’s delusional.

  I wait a few minutes before peeking out into the hallway to find her gone. Thank God. She’s the last person I wanted to run into today, literally and figuratively. My thoughts are consumed with the images of Betsy and my best friend Luke naked in her bed. I’ve lost my natural high that I was riding since meeting Kat this morning. I needed to get it back. It’s my last year of high school and I plan to make it the best one yet. I have a feeling Kat is going to play a large part in it.

  2.

  Katrina

  One week down… a lifetime to go. Well, not exactly a lifetime. High school will end in eight months. Then, I turn 18 years old. So, only about ten more months of being sequestered in this place against my will. I can do that. Ten months. Then, off to college hopefully.

  What the hell am I supposed to do for the next ten months? I need a hobby or a job. That’s it. I need a job. Time will go much faster. Plus, I won’t spend every waking moment of my non-existent life in my room staring at my plain white walls, hating my father for what he’s done to us. Hate is such a strong word. I should find another word to describe how incredibly disappointed I am in my father. Let’s see…what’s stronger than hate?

  Ugh! I need to focus on something else.

  I grab my laptop and open the internet. My homepage is still set to Facebook even though I no longer have an account. That’s not true. I have an account, I just can’t access it. I’m not even supposed to have my laptop connected to the internet, but I already told my mom and everyone else that I won’t live without it. They don’t understand, but after everything that we’ve been put through the last three months, I don’t really give a shit if they understand. There are just some things I won’t allow them to take away from me.

  I stare at the screen, wanting to log in to Facebook, for longer than I realize before I hear my mom come in the front door. I know I can’t, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to. It doesn’t stop me from wanting to create a new account and reconnect with my old friends. “It’s too risky.” That’s what everyone says when I bring it up. Screw them.

  I start to create a new account when my mom pops her head in my room and I immediately close my browser, cutting off my connection to the internet and my new Facebook persona.

  “What are you up to in here,” she asks with a knowing expression on her face. She’s glancing from me to my laptop and back again waiting for me to confess my sins.

  “Nothing. I was just thinking about looking for a job. Something low key so I don’t have to be trapped in this house all the time.”

  My voice doesn’t even waiver. I’ve been lying to her for the last three months straight and I’ve perfected it. That’s probably not a good thing. I’ve always been honest with my parents. Well, at least I had always been honest with them until I found out they were keeping major secrets from me.

  “That sounds like a good idea. I found a job today while you were at school. It’s nothing glamorous, but it will help pay the bills.”

  The idea of my mom working almost causes me to laugh. I hold it in long enough for her to tell me about her new job as a secretary for a local law firm. As soon as she’s gone and my door is shut firmly behind her I let it out. The picture I have in my head of her sitting behind a desk, answering phones, is enough to make me flop backward on my bed and really laugh for the first time in a long time. It feels good to laugh again until I remember why she has to get a job in the first place.

  Again, is there a stronger word than hate?

  I open up my browser again and do a Google search for jobs in the area. The only thing that pops up is an opening for servers at a resort on the outskirts of town. Working for the rich. Serving the rich. Pretending that I’ve never been one of them. I don’t know if I can handle that.

  I try searching again, but nothing else comes up. Maybe I should just take a walk through downtown and see if anyone is hiring? There’s only one stoplight. It’s not like it will take that long. Plus, it will give me something to do tomorrow.

  I make the decision quickly to at least take a walk through town. If nothing else, I need to pick up something to put on my walls. Paint or decorations, I don’t care which. My room needs a little character. Okay, it needs a lot of character but I have to start somewhere. It’s not like I intend on anyone seeing my room. I just need to be able to be comfortable in here, especially since I will probably be spending most of my time in here.

  I wake up and realize it’s almost noon. I have become a lazy person since arriving here. If I were still back home in California I would already be down by the water working on my tan and watching my boyfriend surf.

  Damn I miss him. I miss my friends. I miss the beach. I miss my life. What I am living now is not even close to the life I lived for the past seventeen years. Not. Even. Close.

  I make myself get out of bed only because my stomach is telling me I need to feed it. I make my way into the kitchen and find my mom has left me half a pot of coffee (thank you) and a note saying that she is in town, picking up essentials. That makes me laugh, the thought of my mom pushing around a shopping cart trying to decide what to buy based on her limited knowledge of cooking.

  Don’t get me wrong. My mother is an amazing woman. She’s been stronger the last three months than I ever thought she could be. The fact is that she’s never had to be “domestic” before. She’s always had a person to take care of everything for her: shopping, cooking, and cleaning. She’s learning but probably only because she doesn’t have a choice.

  I pour myself a cup of coffee and then add enough sugar and cream to make it turn from pitch black to caramel. The first sip is heaven. My stomach growls at me and I know that as much as I need coffee right now, I also need substance. I open the refrigerator to find the “essentials” my mother was referring to mean practically everything the grocery store could offer. The only thing in our fridge right now is a bottle of water and some slices of cheese.

  Whatever. I was learning to go with the flow. I was trying at least. I could shower and hope mom would be back from the store so I could eat or I could shower and pick up some food in town. I was still planning on job hunting today. The thought of spending the entire day in my room was enough to get my feet moving quickly.

  No sign of mom by the time I was ready to hit the town. I grabbed my purse and headed out the front door, locking it behind me. I scanned the street before I set out towards town. It feels like someone is watching me, but I don’t see anyone. I’ve become extremely paranoid. Mom says that it’s a good thing and to make sure I never let my guard down. You never know what can happen.

  It’s only a five-minute walk to the grocery store. I see our piece of crap car parked in the lot so I know my mom is still inside trying to figure out what to buy. I should send her a text and tell her to pick up a cookbook. That might speed things along later tonight.

  I keep walking towards the center of town, watching for any signs of someone following me. I almost miss the “help wanted” sign in the front window of the bookstore because I’m looking behind me. It’s a good thing there’s a crack in the sidewalk which causes me to trip, successfully lunging my entire body at the person walking towards me. I catch myse
lf just before I run into them and stand up straight, avoiding eye contact with them but in doing so, I see the “help wanted” sign.

  Without even apologizing, I walk away from them and straight through the open door of the bookstore. I instantly stop, noticing the way my body is reacting as I cross the threshold of the bookstore. I take a moment to compose myself before I turn around and realize who I almost ran into. It’s the same guy from the stairwell earlier this week. Damn. He looks even hotter than I remember.

  I looked for him all week, but never caught another glimpse of him. He obviously wasn’t in any of my classes. I never saw him in the hallways and because I secluded myself away in the library at lunch, I have no idea if we share the same lunch period. I had almost forgotten about him until today. Almost.

  His grin is making my insides turn. I feel like I’m about to jump out of my own skin when he looks at me like that. It’s a good feeling, something unlike anything else I’ve even felt, but it scares the crap out of me at the same time.

  “Kat,” he purrs at me. Yes, he purred my name like I was an actual cat. I wanted to be annoyed by it, but his voice was so sexy.

  “Hey,” I say as I try to swallow the lump that’s formed in my throat.

  “How’s it going? I haven’t seen you around much?” His voice is deeper than I remember it being.

  Much? Has he been looking for me? Has he seen me? I haven’t caught even a glimpse of him since Monday. “I’ve been around.” Another lump has formed in my throat and it’s becoming hard to speak. Why am I so nervous around this guy?

  “So, what brings you into town today? I can’t imagine that you are actually looking for a book after spending all week in the library.” Now he’s smirking at me. He has been watching me. At least enough to know that I’ve been spending lunch in the library.

  Time to man-up, or rather woman-up. I cannot let this guy know he’s getting to me. He cannot see how much he affects me. I cannot let him continue to affect me. I am not looking for friendship or a relationship.

  “Job hunting,” I say, sounding more like myself than I ever have in his presence. The look on his face tells me he can see how hard I am trying to push my feeling deep down and store them there. Damn his eyes are beautiful and his lips… shit, I’m a goner and I don’t even know his name.

  “Why not apply at the Montgomery Resort? I know for a fact they are hiring and you could make some good money.” His playful tone is gone. He’s trying to be serious, matching the tone I was taking with him. Before I can even reply he continues. “Just give it a shot. You can apply on-line and if you don’t get the job, no big deal. Babette’s can always be your backup plan,” he says referring to the bookstore that I’m blocking the entrance to. He must have sensed my hesitance to the resort.

  “We’ll see,” I say, moving around him to walk back the way I came. I scan the area quickly before turning to face him again. “See ya around.”

  I don’t wait for his reply. I can’t stand to look at him any longer. The more I do, the more attractive he becomes. His face gives away everything he’s thinking and for some reason he’s good at reading my thoughts. That can be very dangerous for me. Very dangerous.

  I turn the ten-minute walk home into an hour. I take a few extra turns, detouring through town, just to make sure no one was following me. It’s probably overkill, but I don’t care. I wasn’t ready to spend the rest of my day in my stark white room. I had gotten so distracted while in town that I had completely forgotten I wanted to pick up a few things. No matter. Maybe mom will feel like visiting the local hardware store later.

  The thought makes me laugh. I’m walking up the driveway when I hear a car coming down the street. I pick up the pace and nearly jump through the front door as it passes by. I’m losing my freaking mind.

  I make my way to my room. My mom is still not home from shopping, so there is no point in looking for something to eat. I can wait. I want to at least apply for the job he was telling me about. What’s the worst that can happen? Oh yeah, I could actually get the job.

  I open my browser and Facebook pops up again. Damn it! I really need to change that and quit torturing myself on a daily basis. Later, I promise myself. I type in Montgomery Resort and select the link to their homepage. I find the job postings and select an opening for a server. I start to fill in the information that’s required without thinking too much about it. I stop myself halfway through and close the browser without saving. I cannot do this.

  Looking around my room I know I have to at least try or I will go insane. I open the browser again and more cautiously and carefully enter my information. I’m about to hit submit when the last question strikes a nerve with me.

  “Did anyone refer you for this position?”

  I stare at it for a moment like it’s written in another language. I want to click on yes, but I can’t. I click no and hit submit. I turn my computer off and lay back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I don’t see the white spackled ceiling, though. All I can see is his face and it bothers me because I realize I have no idea who he is. I don’t even know his name.

  Cam

  I finally figured it out, my way in. She’s looking for a job and I will give her just that. Plus, this way I can keep an eye on her. I can “accidentally” run into her on occasion. After watching her all week without finding an opportunity to talk to her, running into her this afternoon was amazing.

  When I saw her walking through town I couldn’t help myself. I followed her for a little while before deciding to pull over and head her off. She constantly looked behind her like she knew I was there, like she knew I was following her. I’m not sure if she felt my presence, but I felt hers before I saw her.

  The first thing I do when I get home is check for her application. I don’t normally care who’s applying or if they get hired, but she’s different. The way she makes me feel is different than anything else I’ve felt before. Sure, I’ve felt lust towards other girls but no one has captured my complete attention before like she has. Maybe it’s the mystery behind who she is, why she’s here, where she came from. I don’t really care what it is. I just want to get to know this girl.

  It’s not there. Maybe she won’t actually apply. I hope I didn’t scare her off. I guess I’ll find out Monday morning. Either she will avoid me like the plague when I try and talk to her or… well, anything else that could happen is appealing. This girl is getting under my skin in the best and worst ways possible. It’s time to break her out of her shell.

  I’m interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. I flip it over and see that Betsy is calling. I quickly send her to voicemail. Maybe if I avoid her calls for long enough she’ll finally stop calling. Probably not.

  My phone starts to ring again seconds later and I’m about to silence it, assuming it’s Betsy again, when an unknown number pops up on my screen. I don’t recognize the area code so I let my voicemail pick it up. I wait a few minutes for my voicemail to ring through, but it never does. Is Betsy trying to call me from someone else’s phone, assuming I would answer? That girl needs to get a grip on reality. It’s over.

  I spend the rest of the day trying to concentrate on my homework and not think about Kat. I fail miserably. After reading the same chapter twice because I didn’t understand it the first time, I finally give up. There’s no point in trying to do anything else. That girl is all I can think about.

  I check the HR site again and her application is there this time. She took my advice. I can’t send her an invitation for an interview, only my dad’s secretary can do that. I send Kathy an email with the link to Kat’s application and then I open up Facebook and type in her name. There are more results than I want to sort through.

  I need to figure out where she’s from. That will help me narrow it down. Then I can get back on here and check her out. Damn! I’m going to turn into a Facebook stalker if I’m not careful. This girl is driving me crazy, literally. I’ve never felt this out of control in my life.

  I
have a test I need to study for and thinking about Kat all night won’t help me accomplish much. I close my laptop and pull my books back out. I manage to calm myself down and get some work done. Studying has never been my first choice for plans on a Saturday night but since I’ve lost my best friend and my girlfriend, I’ve been spending more time at home, away from the drama. I could go to a party this weekend that I heard about, but the chances of running into one or both of them would be pretty good. It would almost be a guarantee and I’m not looking to get into a fight.

  Sunday, since I hadn’t heard back from Kathy about Kat’s interview, I decide to run up to the resort to see if she was in. I’m walking through the foyer when I catch sight of Betsy out of the corner of my eye. I should have expected to run into her. She’s always here on the weekends.

  I keep walking even though she’s calling my name and waving at me, trying to get my attention. I pretend that I don’t see her and make my way towards my dad’s office. Kathy’s not at her desk which means she’s probably off for the weekend. I knock on my dad’s door and wait for him to invite me in. I learned a long time ago not to barge in.

  I hear a lot of shuffling behind the door and then he finally calls out for me to come in. I open the door cautiously, not really sure what I’m about to find. Nothing. My dad is sitting behind his desk looking cool and collected. Something has to be up. He’s never just sitting around when I come in here.

  “Hey dad,” I say as I close the door behind me. “I was wondering if Kathy was going to be coming in today.”

  “She’s off for the weekend. What do you need, Cam?” He’s being too nice to me. There is definitely something going on that I don’t know about. I scan the room for some sort of indication of what it might be, but everything looks as it should. Nothing is out of place.

  “Nothing. A friend from school applied and I wanted to make sure that Kathy set her up for an interview with you.”