The Secrets Duet

by Brownell, Rachael

  His phone rings from his pocket. He ignores it and continues to stare at me. I make eye contact, silently challenging him to answer his phone. The ringing stops for only a moment before it begins to ring again. We never break eye contact as it rings and rings. When it stops the second time he reaches for his fork without looking and picks it up.

  When the ringing starts for a third time he brings the fork to my mouth and I automatically open it for him. What the hell? Why am I letting him feed me?

  I swallow before speaking. “It sounds like it might be urgent. Why don’t you answer it and I’ll call and let my roommates know where I am. They’re probably starting to wonder.”

  “If they call back then I’ll answer it.”

  Like magic, his phone starts ringing again and I can’t help but smile. He stands and excuses himself. I watch as he goes through a doorway and closes the door behind him. I reach for my phone and quickly dial Montgomery’s voicemail I leave him a message like I would leave for my roommate, letting him know I’m safe Hopefully, that will satisfy him until I can call him later tonight at our scheduled time.

  “Everything all right at work?” I ask as I place my phone back in my purse I didn’t hear him come back in the room and I’m not sure how long he was standing behind me.

  “Yes. Fine. Did your roommate not answer?”

  “No. Hopefully he is out finding a job as well.”

  “He?”

  “Yes. I live with my two best friends from college. Both of them are guys. I don’t exactly get along well with girls.”

  “Why not?”

  “Umm. I guess you could say I have a low tolerance for bullshit. I don’t like how girls can be catty and deceitful just to get whatever it is that they want, or whomever it is.” He doesn’t say anything so I pick up my fork and begin eating.

  We eat in silence until both of our plates are cleared. I pick them both up and walk into the kitchen to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. I have no idea what I’m doing, or why. I needed to get away from him for a minute. I need to clear my head. He’s working his way inside and I’m getting in too deep too quickly. This is exactly what Montgomery was talking about. Taylor has a way about him and I need to watch myself, protect myself. The last thing I need is to complicate this assignment by falling for him.

  I turn to leave the kitchen and find him leaning against the door frame. His body is glorious and I’m sure he knows it. The sight of him alone ignites something inside of me. He is going to be a much bigger problem for me than I anticipated.

  “Let’s discuss your contract concerns, shall we?”

  Holy hell!

  The way he spoke almost made me want to jump him that instant. I think he did it on purpose. I think he knows how attracted to him I am. Of course he does. I told him as much back at his office. How do you think we ended up here? My fault completely. I did it on purpose, though. It’s supposed to be part of the plan.

  “Okay,” I say slowly as I make my way towards him. I stop just short of him being able to reach me and look directly into his eyes. What I see there is nothing short of pure lust.

  “Why don’t we talk on our way back to the office? The paperwork has been redrafted and I need you to sign it. That is if you’re still planning on signing it.”

  Of all the things I know about this man, the one thing I was completely sure of before I met him face to face this morning was his demanding nature. I was prepared to be told, not asked, what I wanted. I was prepared to work my ass off because it would be expected of me. I was prepared for the dominant version of Taylor. I was not prepared for this kind and caring person who is looking at me as if I am a piece of meat he would like to devour.

  “I already signed it.” There is a hint of playfulness in my voice, but it’s being overshadowed by the uncertainty I’m feeling. Am I really going to be able to complete this assignment? Am I really going to be able to take this man down without losing a piece of myself in the process?

  His smile is wicked. I would love to describe it as playful, but wicked is more the term I would use. He looks like the predator I know he is as he takes the first step towards me. I match his move and take a step back. His smile widens and I notice his eyes have deepened a few shades. They’ve turned from light blue, almost the color of the sky, to what now looks like black.

  He takes another step and I again match him. Then again. I’m beginning to wonder if this is all a game to him when my back hits a wall and there is nowhere left for me to go. Game over.

  “We can talk here… if you want to. The only problem with that is I might have a hard time keeping my hands to myself and you haven’t signed your new contract yet. I would prefer you sign your contract first.”

  He’s making everything sound like a business deal. He’s making it sound like touching me, kissing me, doing whatever he wants with me, is all a business deal. In a way, he’s right. It will all be a business deal. I need to make sure I’m in control of the terms, however. I cannot let him have all the control or else I might lose control of myself completely.

  “No. The office is fine. There is one thing I would like to talk about before we head back, though. If that’s all right with you?” I bat my eyes at him and watch as he takes me in from head to toe. I’ve had guys do it before, give me that look, and it’s felt like they were critiquing me. His appraisal doesn’t feel like a critique. It feels like he’s worshipping me with his eyes.

  “What would you like to discuss?”

  I take a step forward to move around him. Instead of stepping aside like I thought he would, he moves to block my way. I’m trapped against the wall again with no way out. I guess we are going to have this conversation right here, right now.

  “The fraternization clause was removed?” He nods to let me know that, indeed, it has been removed. Good. That was important. “What about my hours?”

  “I thought we were going to talk about this at the office.”

  “We can go back through it line by line when we get back if you want. All I need to know is I have the freedom with my hours to work from home if necessary. It’s important to me that I still maintain involvement in Becker Industries while working for you and making a name for myself. I don’t want to rely on my parents for that anymore.”

  It’s partially the truth. My last name is probably why they even looked at my application. It worked in my favor this time, but it wouldn’t always be that way. Some companies would shy away from me because of my last name. I considered that when I chose my degree but knew if all else failed I could always run Becker. I would have a job no matter what. Not only do I not need to rely on my degree now, but I don’t have to rely on my last name either. I’ve gone a completely different direction and it feels good.

  He takes a step forward into my personal space, and even though I know the wall is directly behind me, I attempt to take a step back.

  “Are you using me?” His tone is not playful. He’s serious.

  “Maybe. In a way I probably am, but in a completely different way I’m not. Does that bother you?” I take the same tone he has. Serious. I can play the game as well as he can. Truth be told, it was one of the most honest things I’ve said to him all day.

  “Depends.” Now he’s smiling and it’s devious.

  “On…”

  “What do I get out of this deal?”

  Well played, Taylor. If you only knew what was coming to you, I’m not sure you would want me to sign your contract.

  “Why don’t we head back to the office so I can sign my new contract? Then we can discuss what you get out of the deal a little further.” I tried my best to sound sultry. I’m pretty sure it came out sounding more like overly confident mixed with scared shitless. Nothing sexy or sultry about that at all. I’m going to need to work on that.

  We ride back to the office in silence. I can’t tell if he’s lost in thought or focused on business now that we were outside the safety of the four walls of his home.

  He show
s me back to the conference room and excuses himself. He comes back with another envelope with my name on it. I pull the contract out and pretend to read through it, line by line. He still hasn’t said a word and neither have I. I realize the last page of the incredibly long contract is fast approaching. There would be no more stalling. He would have to say something after I signed it. Right?

  I flip to the last page and carefully initial and sign where directed to. I flip the contract closed, place it back in the envelope and hand it to him. I felt his eyes watching me as I pretended to reread the contract, but I never looked up at him. Now, when I make eye contact with him I’m glad I didn’t.

  I expected to see some form of victory in his eyes. He won the game. I signed the contract. I was bound, legally, to his every will and command at work. The fraternization clause had been removed. We could “socialize” with each other outside of work. Victory. That’s what I expected to see.

  The heat was still apparent in his eyes, but it wasn’t victory I was seeing. It looked more like domination. We were not playing a game. We had gone to war and he had won. If he only knew the war was just beginning and he has no chance at victory. If he only knew…

  Taylor was called away before I had a chance to say a word. He told me to be on time Monday morning and then he disappeared. I sat in the conference room for a few minutes before collecting my things, and myself and heading to my car.

  My brain felt like a puddle of mush. I had been on an emotional roller coaster ride which was only beginning and I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to handle it. I needed to get a better grip on reality. I needed to focus on the task at hand, on taking Taylor and his operation down. I needed to get Taylor out of my head and out of my heart.

  What I really needed was to go to the gym and hit a heavy bag for a few hours. That would help to clear my head. I do some of my best strategizing at the gym. Plus, I figured the extra workout couldn’t hurt. I was up against a massive beast and I needed to make sure I could handle my own in case no one else was there to back me up.

  My phone rings the second I get home. I pull it from my purse and answer without looking. There is only one person I figured it could be. He was calling earlier than planned, but at least he was calling. I needed a pep talk. The gym didn’t clear away as much fog as I had hoped it would.

  “Yeah.” I’m out of breath and it’s the best I can come up with. I’ve still got sweat dripping down my back and my legs feel like jelly. If he was looking for a more cheerful greeting then he would have to call back another time.

  “Maggie?”

  Shit!

  Not who I was expecting.

  “Yes. Sorry, Mr. Taylor. I wasn’t expecting you to call me and I didn’t look at my caller ID. How can I help you, sir?”

  Did I just call him sir? Shit! Could this conversation get any worse?

  “First of all, please don’t ever call me sir again. I’m the same age you are. Secondly, you need to learn to always look at your caller ID. You should never answer your phone if you don’t know the number which is calling you. Technology is too advanced these days. Lastly, no, there’s nothing you can do for me. I just called to hear your voice and to apologize for leaving so abruptly this afternoon.”

  “Oh. Okay.” What am I supposed to say? I heard everything he said, but my brain was focused only on the part about his wanting to hear my voice. So. Freaking. Sweet.

  Shit! No! I cannot fall for that crap, for real. I can only pretend to fall for his crap.

  “Well, I will let you go. Have a wonderful weekend, Maggie. I look forward to seeing you on Monday morning.”

  I don’t get the chance to say goodbye before he hangs up.

  I’m still standing in the entrance to my apartment. I don’t hear anyone or anything except the beat of my racing heart. I’m trying to calm down, to erase the feelings which are starting to grow, when my phone rings and scares the shit out of me. I go to answer without looking again when I hear Taylor’s voice in my head. I peek at the display and this time I’m prepared for who is on the line.

  “Becker.”

  “How did it go today?”

  Right down to business. Montgomery never changes.

  “Fine.”

  Shit! I know better.

  “Okay. You need to erase that word from your vocabulary. Nothing good comes from that answer. Understand?”

  “Yes. It went well. I got the contract amended like we talked about and signed it this afternoon.”

  “This afternoon? How long did it take to amend the damn contract? It couldn’t have taken that long.” His voice is laced with concern, I can hear it, but he comes across sounding. He should be. I’m sure the contract only took a few minutes to amend.

  “Well…” I have to tell him I moved on to phase two, but I’m not sure how he’s going to take it. Yes, I do. He’s going to be pissed.

  “Becker. Tell me what happened. Now!”

  “He was showing all the signs that we talked about so I moved on to phase two of the plan. He seems to be taking the bait. He actually called me a few minutes ago just to say hello.”

  Silence.

  Minutes tick by and still there’s silence.

  I look down at the receiver and the call is still active, but he’s not saying anything. I want to say something, to ask if he’s still there, but I know better. This is his way of calming down. So instead of saying something, I sit there for about ten minutes and listen to nothing while he works through what I just told him.

  “Do you really think he took the bait?”

  “Yes,” I say it with confidence because I am confident Taylor took the bait. I’m also trying to hide the fact I might have oversold the bait to him because I was feeling a little more than I should have been.

  “Fine. This means we need to rewrite the plan. I’m going to need you to come here this weekend. Pack and head to the airport. The plane will be waiting for you at midnight.”

  Click.

  That could have gone better, but it also could have gone a lot worse. I guess I’ll see how badly I screwed it up when I land.

  Taylor

  I hang up with Maggie and rest my head against the wall behind me. That voice. Her scent. What the hell have I allowed myself to get into? There are so many reasons I shouldn’t want to be involved with her and yet I couldn’t control myself for longer than a few hours. I needed to hear her voice.

  When Scott called me out of the conference room I was pissed off. I knew she would be gone before our meeting was done. I knew I wouldn’t get to see her or smell her again until Monday. I was pissed. Scott knew it the second I stepped into his office. He didn’t care. He took the opportunity to list all the reasons I shouldn’t be feeling the way I was at that moment.

  First, she’s an employee. It doesn’t matter that her contract has been amended. Second, we still haven’t completely cleared her from any involvement with the FBI. Lastly, I have a tendency to be more talkative and honest with women who are naked and in my bed. I need to watch my back, protect myself and the company at all costs. I can’t do that if I tell her my secrets. I can’t trust her, whether I want to or not.

  Everything he said made perfect sense. So, why did I call her? Why can I not stop thinking about her? Why do I still want to run my fingers through her beautiful auburn hair? I should be guarding myself, my heart and my life yet I want to trust her with everything which is a huge problem. Not just for me, but for everyone involved, even Maggie.

  If she were to become involved in my life, outside of work, it would complicate things for her. She could be held responsible for my actions. She could be considered a co-conspirator. I don’t want that for her. I don’t want to bring any more tragedy into her life. She’s endured more than her fair share.

  Plus, the lifestyle I live because of the life I have chosen, isn’t the lifestyle she deserves. She deserves to be free. She deserves to be able to walk down the sidewalk without fear about someone watching her, tracking her or
following her back to me. I may not know her well enough yet, but I would lay my own life on the line for hers.

  If I had a choice, we would be together. We would leave this place, leave our lives behind us, and ride off into the sunset together. Damn it! I sound like a girl dreaming about a fairytale. This is no fairytale, though. This is real life and things like that don’t happen, especially to people like me.

  I’ve had my second chance and from what I understand, you only get one. I’m not even sure why I lived that day, but whoever saved me, whoever got me out of there, gave me a second chance at life. I’m embracing it. I’m living my life to the fullest each and every day.

  Had they known I would choose the same path I had already been on, would they have still saved me? Probably not.

  Had they known I would end up destroying the lives of anyone who had been involved with my family back then, would they have still saved me? Definitely not.

  They gave me a second chance and for that I will always be grateful, but if I were to ever meet the person I would only have one thing to say. “Next time, choose a better person to save.”

  I know it sounds stupid. I know I should probably say thank you and walk away. What I want them to understand is that by saving me, they inadvertently killed many others. If they knew me, knew the reason I was lying on the ground, shot in the chest, barely breathing, they would have never made the decision to get me out of there.

  I shake my head to try and erase the memories of that day. I can still see Nicolette falling. I can still hear her scream. The nightmares come and go, but they are always the same. She is dead and I am being saved. I can’t help but wonder, why me?

  I stalk into the kitchen and heat some leftovers in the microwave. I sit in silence and think about my life. What it’s become. Where I want it to go. What I deserve to happen. What probably will.

  I crawl into bed that night and pray I don’t dream. Dreaming of Nicolette will cause me to wake up screaming like a small child. I can’t keep doing that. The dreams are suffocating me. I can’t dream of Court. I always wake up with a heart full of vengeance. I still plan to get back at them for what they did to me and my family.