The Viking's Touch

by Joanna Fulford

  ‘Are you all right, Anwyn?’

  His voice drew her back to reality with a jolt. ‘Forgive me, I was just thinking.’

  ‘You looked totally preoccupied.’ He eyed her curiously. ‘What’s on your mind?’

  She forced a smile. ‘Many things, but nothing I can identify precisely.’

  He didn’t pursue it and the conversation turned to other matters. They lingered another half-hour or so and then turned the horses for home. However, they had covered no more than half the distance before Wulfgar turned aside and reined in by the stream. Anwyn looked around and recognised the spot at once; they had visited it together when first he came to Drakensburgh.

  ‘Will you get down and walk with me awhile?’ he asked.

  ‘Of course.’

  He tethered their mounts and, taking her hand, led her along the bank to the place where they had been before. There he spread his cloak on the grass and sat down to join her. However, his mood was different now with no hint of that former playfulness. The look in his eyes was almost sombre and she felt the first twinge of unease.

  ‘Is something wrong, my lord?’

  ‘Not wrong, but we have to talk, Anwyn.’

  Her uneasiness increased. ‘You have something to tell me?’

  ‘There is no easy to way to say this so I must be direct.’ The blue gaze met hers and held it. ‘The defence of Drakensburgh is complete and very soon now my men and I will depart.’

  It had come, then. Of course, he had told her this at the outset. It was part of their agreement. Nevertheless, the effect was like a punch under the solar plexus. She drew a sharp breath, fighting the sudden sickness in her stomach.

  ‘I see.’ She was surprised to discover how level her voice sounded.

  ‘I gave them my word on this long since. And, of course, there is our arrangement with Rollo.’ He paused. ‘However, you will be well protected. The men are not only highly trained, they have been tested in battle.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘To make doubly certain I will leave a few hand-picked members of my crew as well. You will also have Ina. He’s a good man.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He will look after things here in my absence.’

  She took another deep breath. ‘When must you go?’

  ‘In a few weeks probably, once we have finished the work on the new dwellings and re-provisioned the ship.’

  ‘Will you be gone for long?’

  ‘Long enough, I think. It’s impossible to be sure.’

  ‘I shall miss you.’

  ‘And I you. Our time together has been good, has it not?’

  Anwyn clasped her knees tightly. ‘It has been better than good.’ The depth of that understatement only increased the bleakness in her heart.

  ‘I’m glad you think the same.’

  ‘How could I not? With you I have found a happiness I did not know existed.’

  ‘I, too, have been…most happy.’

  Summoning all her courage, she forced herself to ask the next question. ‘Will I ever see you again, Wulfgar?’

  For a fleeting moment his expression registered something like pain. ‘If the gods so will it.’

  Her knuckles whitened. ‘I pray they do.’

  ‘I wish I could make you a promise to return, but war is an uncertain business.’ He put his arms about her and drew her to his chest, kissing her bright hair. ‘But I shall not forget the time I have shared with you.’

  Anwyn held him tightly and closed her eyes, holding the moment and trying to shut out the prospect of all the years ahead without him.

  They returned home some time later and while Wulfgar went off to speak with Ina, Anwyn sought the solace of the bower, trying to order the chaos of her thoughts. However, they refused to be ordered. As the full impact of that earlier conversation sank in, it left her reeling. Her stomach churned and a light sheen of sweat broke out on her forehead. The room seemed suddenly stifling. Throwing off her mantle, she hurried to the basin in the corner and vomited repeatedly.

  For a little while she thought she might faint but gradually the sensation passed and she found herself able to breathe again. With shaking hands she reached for a cloth, soaked it in the water jar and then used it to bathe her face. The coolness was blessedly restorative.

  A footstep in the passage without announced another presence. For a dreadful moment she thought it was Wulfgar returning, but to her intense relief saw Jodis instead. The maid smiled and was about to speak, but one look at Anwyn’s deathly pallor caused the words to wither on her lips.

  ‘My lady, you are ill.’

  ‘It’s nothing. A momentary sickness is all. I shall be well again presently.’

  ‘Pray, come and lie down awhile until you feel better.’

  Anwyn allowed herself to be led across the room and sank down disconsolately on the edge of the bed.

  ‘What brought this on?’ the maid continued. ‘Something you ate, perhaps?’

  ‘No, it’s nothing I’ve eaten.’

  ‘Some other malady then.’

  ‘One with no cure, I’m afraid.’ Seeing the maid’s startled expression, she added, ‘He’s leaving, Jodis.’

  The maid didn’t pretend to misunderstand. ‘Leaving when?’

  ‘Very soon. A matter of weeks, I believe.’

  ‘I am so sorry. I hoped…’

  ‘I think we all hoped.’ Anwyn sighed. ‘I most of all.’

  ‘But he will come back.’

  ‘One day, perhaps—if he is not slain or imprisoned first.’

  Jodis sat down, regarding her with concern. ‘He will come back, I’m sure of it.’

  ‘I wish I could say the same.’

  ‘He is Earl of Drakensburgh. He will not forget that. Nor will he forget you.’

  ‘I shall not forget him, that is certain.’ The tears she had restrained before now filled Anwyn’s eyes. ‘I love him, Jodis. I always hoped that one day he might come to feel the same.’

  ‘He cares for you very much, I’d swear to it.’

  ‘Yes, but not enough to stay.’

  ‘He hasn’t gone yet. He may change his mind.’

  Anwyn shook her head. ‘He will not. Besides, I have always known that he would go eventually.’ The tears spilled over. ‘I just didn’t expect it to be so hard.’

  ‘If he knew it, he might reconsider.’

  ‘To do that would be to break his word to his men.’

  ‘What of his word to you?’

  ‘He has never made any promise to me that he was not prepared to fulfil.’

  Jodis sighed. ‘Why are men such fools? Why can they never see what’s right under their noses?’

  ‘We women can be foolish, too, seeing what we’d like to see instead of what is. By the time we do realise, it’s too late and there’s no going back.’

  ‘Would you wish it undone?’

  ‘No. That’s the worst of it.’ Anwyn wiped the tears away with the sleeve of her gown. ‘I made the bargain and must bear the consequences.’

  For a moment Jodis was perfectly still. Then she looked from her mistress to the basin across the room and back again. Her eyes widened.

  ‘Oh, my! You’re not…?’

  ‘It’s possible. I don’t know yet. I won’t know for another week or two.’

  ‘Have you said anything to him?’

  ‘There’s nothing to say, yet.’

  ‘But…’

  Anwyn laid a hand on her arm. ‘And you will say nothing, either.’

  Any lingering doubts she might have had were banished when her next flux failed to appear. Moreover, the sickness recurred, too. Thus far she had managed to hide it from Wulfgar, but the knowledge of her condition was an additional anxiety. What made it much harder was the realisation of how much she wanted his child. Even the thought of another difficult and protracted labour did not change that. The baby within her was something of his that she could keep and cherish long after he was gone. Mingled with that was the increas
ing conviction that she ought to tell him. It was just a matter of finding the right time.

  Wulfgar sensed her inner preoccupation, though not its cause. He attributed it to the announcement of his imminent departure. The scene was still vivid in his mind. In truth it had been harder than he cared to admit. When he said he would miss her it had not been a mere sop to her feelings. Leaving was going to be a wrench for him, too, more so than he could ever have imagined when he entered into this match. Both of them had always known this was going to happen. He was an adventurer, a mercenary—had never pretended to be other. He also had a duty to his crew. His jaw tightened.

  ‘We’re just about done here,’ said Hermund, surveying the men who were finishing the thatch on the last two huts. ‘Another day should do it.’

  Wulfgar glanced at him; then returned his attention to the thatchers. ‘Aye, it will.’

  ‘The Drakensburgh force is ready, too, and at full strength.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘So, what now?’

  ‘We keep to the agreement we made before. We go to join Rollo.’

  ‘I’ll make a start on the ship’s provisions, then.’

  ‘Do that. We’ll also take her out for a trial run. Make sure everything’s as it should be.’

  Hermund grinned. ‘It’ll be good to be at sea again.’

  ‘I am already at sea,’ said Wulfgar.

  Word of the decision was not slow to spread. When Eyvind heard about the forthcoming sea trial his eyes shone.

  ‘May I come, lord?’

  His initial reaction was to refuse, but when he looked down at the boy’s eager face Wulfgar relented. ‘Why not?’ He looked over the child’s head at Anwyn. ‘It won’t be far. Just up the coast a little way and then back. He’ll be safe enough.’

  She checked the urge to object. Eyvind could not be tied to her apron strings for ever and he had blossomed so much since Wulfgar’s coming. He would not let anything happen to the child.

  ‘Very well.’

  Eyvind beamed, his cheeks pink with excitement. Together they went out to the courtyard where the crewmen awaited them. Doubting whether the child’s short legs would keep up with the longer strides of the men, Wulfgar lifted him on to his shoulders. Then he turned to Anwyn.

  ‘Will you walk with us to the bay?’

  ‘I might slow you down.’

  ‘If I had thought that I would not have suggested it,’ he replied.

  Something in the quiet tone and the accompanying look caused her pulse to quicken a little.

  ‘I will come.’

  Wulfgar let his men move on ahead and matched his stride to hers. They spoke little, but the silence was companionable and she did not mind it. It was enough just for the three of them to be together. Such moments would not come again and she was going to have to live on them a long time. Involuntarily her hand went to the front of her gown and rested there a moment. The knowledge of the baby growing within her was bittersweet. With the certainty came the pressing need to let Wulfgar know of its existence. The thought of him perishing on a foreign shore in ignorance of his child was not to be contemplated. She must speak to him and soon.

  By the time they reached the bay the strand was a hive of activity. The tide was in, but, she was relieved to note, there was only a gentle swell and a light wind carrying with it the familiar scent of weed and brine. The blue-green water was touched with gold in the path of the sun. Wulfgar set the child down and they watched him scamper off down the beach towards the men who were readying the ship. Then Wulfgar turned to Anwyn.

  ‘I’ll look after him.’

  ‘I know.’

  He smiled and bent to kiss her. She swayed towards him, twining her arms about his neck. Then his were around her, and the kiss grew lingering. When at last he drew back it was with an expression of regret.

  ‘I’d like to be able to stay and take that further.’

  She glanced towards his crew. ‘It might cause a few raised eyebrows if you did.’

  ‘Aye, it might, especially with what I have in mind.’

  Her cheeks turned an attractive shade of pink. ‘I’m not going to ask.’

  ‘Then I’ll just have to tell you later.’ He surveyed her keenly. ‘Tell is a figure of speech, by the way.’

  ‘You are incorrigible.’

  ‘Where you are concerned I am.’ He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. ‘Until later, Anwyn.’

  Then he turned and strode away down the beach. She remained where she was, watching as he rejoined the others. A short time later the great ship was sliding down the strand and into the water. Eyvind stood in the prow beside Wulfgar and, seeing her, waved enthusiastically. She forced a smile and waved back. Dimly she heard the spoken commands and saw the long banks of oars rise and dip. Slowly, the Sea Wolf turned and then began to head away along the coast. Anwyn watched until it was out of sight.

  Wulfgar remained in the prow, his gaze held by the receding figure on the shore. She seemed small and somehow very vulnerable, her loneliness more apparent in that moment than it had ever been. It touched something within him that had been long buried. He wished now that he had brought her along with them; she might have enjoyed it. Certainly her company would have been most congenial to him. She was not yet out of sight, but he missed her already. He did not care to think too deeply about an absence of years.

  Chapter Twenty

  The men returned in the early evening. Anwyn heard them come and hurried to greet them. As they approached she could see Wulfgar in their midst with Eyvind perched on his shoulders once more. When at length he was set on his feet he ran to meet her. Grubby and dishevelled, he exuded happiness from every pore and began to give her a full account of the day. She listened closely. It soon became clear that he had explored every part of the ship in detail. However, she heard nothing that could give her cause for alarm.

  Eventually Eyvind concluded his tale and ran off to find Jodis. Anwyn looked up at Wulfgar.

  ‘Did he behave himself?’

  ‘He was no trouble at all. In fact, I think he’ll make a natural sailor one day.’

  The words aroused feelings of both pride and pain. ‘Thank you for taking him out today. He has obviously enjoyed it.’

  ‘So did I. He’s a fine boy.’

  ‘You are very good with him.’

  ‘I happen to like children.’

  Her heart leapt. ‘Do you?’

  ‘Of course.’

  Anwyn glanced around at the milling groups of men. This wasn’t the place or the time. She drew a deep breath and smiled. ‘Was the sea trial all you expected?’

  ‘Aye, it was. No problems at all.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  ‘And now I could eat an ox between two mattresses.’

  ‘As well then that the food is ready,’ she replied.

  He slid an arm around her waist and they went in together.

  The mood in the hall was jovial that evening, the air full of laughter and lively banter. Anwyn let it wash over her, feeling strangely content. Wulfgar’s former mood was conspicuous by its absence and he seemed quite at ease, talking and smiling, more relaxed than she had seen him for a while. Anwyn smiled, too. Later perhaps, when they were alone, she would find the words to tell him her news. How would he take it? Would it please him to know she carried his child?

  Somewhat to her surprise he did not linger to drink with his men. On the contrary, he seemed keen to retire. Recalling their parting words that morning, she felt her heartbeat quicken. Of course, he might have forgotten that by now. This eagerness to repair to their chamber might be due merely to fatigue.

  However, she was swiftly disabused of that notion. As soon as they were alone he undressed her and then himself and took her to bed. It seemed that he had not forgotten their earlier conversation either. His lovemaking was passionate and tender and she surrendered herself completely, wanting to remember every detail, every sensation, storing each one in her heart.

 
Later, deliciously sated, they lay together in the drowsy darkness. After a little while Anwyn turned towards him, slowly tracing a finger across his chest.

  ‘Wulfgar?’

  ‘Mmm?’

  ‘There was something I wanted to ask you.’

  ‘What is it, sweet?’

  ‘Did you ever wish to have more sons?’

  For the space of several heartbeats he was silent, but she sensed that he was looking at her now. Then he spoke. ‘The life of a mercenary is hardly conducive to raising children. They are a tie that binds a man.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘So you would never want children to continue your name and your line?’

  ‘A man’s fame lives after him.’

  ‘Is that enough, then?’

  ‘It has been enough for me.’

  ‘I see.’

  He glanced down, trying to read her face. ‘You need not fear that I would demand sons, Anwyn. You have made your views clear on that subject.’

  ‘I know, but…’

  ‘It’s all right. I am not angered that you take good care to prevent the possibility.’ He smiled wryly, conscious of an unwonted twinge of sadness. ‘It’s a complication neither of us needs under the circumstances.’

  She closed her eyes, glad of the darkness that hid her face. ‘As you say, my lord.’

  ‘In any case you already have a fine son.’