by Alexis Gold
"Do you like your room?" he asked.
Roman nodded and laughed. "I do. As you say, it's amazing."
The good Captain nodded back and looked out to sea. "They will bring the tea up any minute now."
A few moments later, the door opened and their tea service was delivered. They sat, drank, and talked, looking at all of the features of the bridge together and then they traded sea stories until the afternoon light grew long and golden.
The Captain left his first mate in charge of the bridge and he and Roman left to get ready for dinner. Roman was annoyed with himself for looking at the woman again as he had. He didn't think he should be interested in looking at her at all. Yet, there was something about the curve of her long graceful neck, and the dimples in her cheeks when she smiled; there was something about the light on her skin and in her eyes that seemed to draw him.
He told himself that he had better keep his attention on everything but her during their trip. He was there for business, and a relaxing voyage on the sea that was so precious to him; he was not there to be entranced by a beautiful woman. He dressed and readied for dinner, sure of what he was doing, until he walked in to the dining room, and then all his certainty was swept away.
The Captain saw him come in and headed straight for him, leading him over to the chair next to his at the long rectangular table. It was only a matter of minutes before everyone was seated at their assigned chairs, and Roman found himself facing Colette, who grinned and winked at him, and Allen, who was seated next to her, could hardly hide his pleasure about that. In the seat to Roman’s right, was Colette's friend.
He drew a deep breath and turned to look at her. She raised her warm brown eyes to look back at him and he felt his chest and stomach tighten.
"Hello," he said in a calm tone with a pleasant smile. "I'm Roman Bruce."
She smiled and a dimple showed up in each one of her cheeks. He couldn't help but smile back. "Hi, I'm Cami. It's nice to meet you!" she said, reaching for his hand. She shook his hand and let go quickly, looking at him and wondering how in the world she had gotten lucky enough to sit next to the most gorgeous guy at the table. He seemed like the strong silent type, but his smile at her felt genuine, and she decided that Colette must be right. Maybe he would be a good person to talk with on the trip. He'd certainly be a nice person to look at, she thought to herself with a blush at the edge of her cheeks.
The chef served fresh sea bass, salad, breads, lobster and soup, impressing everyone at the table. During the course of the meal, and after a few consecutive glasses of wine, Roman found that Cami was an easy person to talk with. She was smart and funny, interesting and polite. He liked her without feeling like he had to put any effort forth in doing it, and that was a welcome change for him.
Colette eyed him with little smiles all throughout dinner when no one else was looking and he smiled back politely, as he always did with women he wanted to dissuade without insulting. She didn't seem to want to take no for an answer. Allen didn't seem to notice, and he kept talking away with her, believing he had her rapt attention.
The Captain spoke with all of them at the table, and most of the guests enjoyed speaking with one another. There was talk of what everyone wanted to do after dinner and Jonathon spoke up with a smile. "There will be a bar service with s'mores at the barbecue on the main deck at the front of the boat, then downstairs in the entertainment area, there is a wide selection of films available. The Jacuzzi, which is also on the front deck, is always open, of course, and the canopy over that will be rolled back for anyone who wants to relax beneath the stars. Also, as a special treat, two of our staff are quite talented musicians and they'll be playing some live music for you out on the deck for a while tonight."
The group was very pleased with their options and Cami looked over at Roman. "That all sounds really good. What do you think you'll do?" she asked with raised eyebrows.
Roman gazed at her face for a moment and shrugged. "I don't know. You're right; they are all great choices. Maybe a little of everything. What about you?" he returned her question to her.
She smiled at him. "I'll have to see. The s'mores sound good, though, but so does the hot tub."
He nodded and looked away from her, willing himself not to picture her in the steamy water of a Jacuzzi. He turned to look at the Captain and focused on the older man. "What about you, good Captain, what will you be doing?"
Jonathon smiled and looked down for a moment and then back up at the guests with a grin under his beard. "Oh, I've got a boat to sail. I'll probably keep it pretty simple tonight. I may take a book with me, though!"
They shared a light laugh with him and Colette looked at Roman intently and said, "I'll be heading for the hot tub. I'd love some company."
Allen grinned and piped up, "Great! I would love to come and join you! I'll meet you out there!" He watched her with adoring eyes.
Roman lifted his chin and told her, "I think that's a great idea. Allen is a lot of fun. You two will have a wonderful time."
She turned and looked at Allen with an almost imperceptible pout and then downed another glass of wine.
With dinner done, Roman stood and pulled Cami's chair back for her She looked up at him and smiled and he nodded in a friendly way and turned to Jonathon.
"Thank you for a wonderful evening. I'll see you in the morning, he said, reaching for the Captain's hand. Jonathon nodded and grinned, and Roman turned and left before anyone could say anything else to him. He wandered out to the back deck and tried to clear his head from all the wine.
He had tried to keep his mind on dinner, on conversations that turned and twisted through the table, on everyone else but her, while still trying to be polite, but she was sitting beside him, warm and sweet, distracting and beautiful. Her perfume had tempted him to look at her and make him want to draw nearer to her, her smile and lilting laugh had made him forget that there were other people at the table for brief moments, and he kept pulling himself back to everyone and everything else.
It was like he was swimming in deep water and there was a current that was trying to pull him down, but he knew if he kept swimming, the current couldn't touch him. He just had to keep swimming.
The ocean air was cold on his face and his body and it felt good. It made him feel alive and awake and empowered. He breathed it deep and it made him feel strong. Then he felt a warm hand on his arm and when he opened his eyes and turned to see her standing there in her blue dress, his strength ebbed away with the pull of the tide.
"Hi!" she said with a cheerful smile, her brown eyes lifted to look at his face. "I hope I'm not disturbing you. I just saw you here all alone and thought maybe you'd like some company." She stood beside him and placed both her hands on the railing, holding tightly to it and raising her shoulders shyly, looking at him over the curve of the one beside him.
Roman drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Oh, uh... yes, thank you. That would be nice." He didn't know what else to say to her.
Luckily, she knew what to say to him. "I noticed that the Captain and you seem close, have you known him long?"
He nodded. "Yes, actually, we've known each other for several years. He's a good man."
She smiled and her dimples showed. "You're a good man too, I'm willing to bet. I didn't know what to expect this weekend. This is really different than I thought it would be. It's my first time on a ship like this."
He tried to hide a smile. "It's not really a ship; it's a yacht, or a boat. I know it's big, but it's not quite big enough to be a ship."
Just then, one of the stewards walked up to them with a platter balanced on his hand. "Miss Cami, your s'mores are ready," he said with a smile. Roman looked down at her as she picked up two s'mores and thanked the steward, then turned and handed one to him.
"What's this?" he asked with a spreading grin on his face.
She tilted her head. "Well, it's a s'more. I wanted one, but they weren't done yet, so the steward said he'd bring some to me when t
hey were done. I asked him for two so we would each have one."
He turned it over in his hand, enjoying the smell of warm chocolate and toasted marshmallow rising up to his nostrils and making his mouth water. "Thanks!" he said, taking a big bite of it and looking at her with a chuckle. "That was thoughtful!"
Cami nodded and took a bite of her own. She closed her eyes and relished the flavor and texture of it.
Roman looked at his while he chewed and knitted his brow. "They taste different than I remember."
She looked up at him and laughed. "Well, these are made with fresh gingerbread instead of graham crackers. They're softer," she said, tilting her head and laughing again. "You have a little..." She raised her hand timidly, hesitating at first while he looked at her in confusion, and then she slowly lifted her finger to his lips and he stood stock still while she carefully wiped away chocolate and marshmallow cream from his lower lip.
He stared at her, slightly embarrassed, and she shrugged and looked down at her fingertip. "They're a little messy," she said, looking around for a place to clean her finger, and seeing nothing convenient, she popped her finger in her mouth and sucked it clean.
Roman watched her for a moment and then turned away and faced the view at the back of the boat, ignoring what she'd done. "So, you said this is your first time on a vessel like this... how is it that you came to be here?" He took another bite of his s'more to try to simplify the moment and relax. He was careful to use his other hand to wipe at his mouth, in case anything stuck there.
She swallowed her bite. "Well, I'm an artist in Los Angeles and Colette is one of my biggest patrons. We're more friends than business associates. She asked me to come along on the trip. She thought I needed it."
Roman blinked and looked sideways at her with a lowered brow. "Why would she think that?" He pushed the last of his s'more into his mouth and savored it.
Cami frowned and looked down at the treat in her hand, picking at it thoughtfully. "Well, I just got out of a bad situation. I needed some fun. I needed some laughs, and some relaxation, and she thought this would do the trick."
Roman was curious. He didn't want to be, but as he stood there watching her pick her s'more apart, he felt like he had to know, and the current tugged harder at him. "What happened?" he asked softly.
She pulled the marshmallow out of her s'more and squished it between her fingers. "I was engaged to a guy; I really thought we were going to make it. I thought he was the one, but then I guess I wasn't the one for him. He broke up with me right before our wedding. I mean, the invitations were all sent out... the hotel was booked... the caterer, you know, all the things that cost the most and don't give refunds. All those things. He found another woman he wanted more, so he ran off and married her, and I paid all the bills and threw myself into my art." She laughed and wiped a few tears from her cheeks. "Colette loved the art, but she hated seeing me so hurt."
Roman felt his heart go out to her. It made him sick to think of anyone going through pain like that, especially when they thought the love was real. He looked down at her long and hard for a moment as she wiped at the tears on her face, and in a split second, he made a decision.
He turned and faced her, taking both her hands in his and lifting them to his mouth, as she stared at him in surprise. He wrapped his lips around the remains of her s'more, stuffing his mouth with all of it from both of her hands, he sucked her fingers clean, and then in a muffled invitation, he held his arms out to her while he chewed away at the wad of stickiness he'd just eaten. "Woof y- keh- t- ds?"
Cami could not have been more surprised. She stared up at him through her wet eyelashes and started to laugh from her belly at the gorgeous, ridiculous man standing in front of her, holding his arms out to her, with his mouth full of the remains of the s'more she had shredded. "What?!" she asked him.
He swallowed with difficulty and looked down at her with an air of elegance. "I said, would you care to dance? Do you hear the music?"
She turned her head to look toward the front deck and then she realized that the staff were playing a violin and a cello, and she grinned through her tears and looked back at Roman, standing there waiting, with his arms still raised toward her.
"I'd love it!" she said with a grin. She stepped toward him and he held her close, turning her delicately around the wooden slat deck of the boat, there in the wide-open Pacific Ocean under a brilliant moonlit sky, and they both felt happiness, and relief, and the beginnings of friendship.
They danced for two lively songs, and then the musicians slowed their melody, and a love song filled the night air, drifting to the couple and around them, winding them closer together until their bodies met, and their arms were closed around one another.
Her warmth felt good to him in the cold night air, and the scent of her perfume pulled his nose closer to her ear as he let himself breathe in her essence. He felt her slump in his arms slightly, and he looked down at her.
"You can't keep the sadness,” he said quietly.
She looked up at him. "I can't?" she asked. "Haven't I earned it?"
He tilted his head and looked around for a moment, and then back down to her, gazing into her eyes. "Well, I guess if you wanted to cherish it, you could, but who would want to do that? No, you've got to let it go. You have to let it fall away from you and open yourself up to the possibility of new love."
"Do I? Is there a possibility of love again? I don't think that's true for everyone. I think some people are just lucky," she told him softly, her eyes locked on his as they danced slowly.
He frowned a little. "Well, of course, it's possible. Everything is possible. You never know who you... might meet..." he said with unintentional hesitation. He meant it to sound as though she could meet someone who could love her, but there he stood, holding her and dancing with her in the moonlight, while her perfume intoxicated him and it felt like he was saying she might meet him. He mentally bashed himself for the way it had sounded coming out.
"What about you?" she asked, her eyes on him still, looking at him deeply.
He knew it. He'd said it wrong. He'd fouled it up and now she was confused about what he meant. "I... didn't mean me... I meant you might meet-"
She looked at him in confusion as he spoke and then she laughed at him. "No, no... I meant what about you finding love. You said everything is possible, so I was asking what about you? Have you found love?" She smiled at him and watched him as he closed his eyes in understanding and a little embarrassment.
He laughed a little, and said, "Oh... sorry." He turned her in a wide circle under his arm and drew her back to him again, holding her as close as he had been. "I thought I'd found love. Real love. I thought I had found passion and a partner for the rest of my life."
Cami looked at him with a furrowed brow. "What happened? Did you get divorced?"
Roman shook his head. "No... no, we're not divorced. We're still married. At least on paper."
She looked a little sad for him. "Is the love still there?"
He took a deep breath and shook his head, pursing his lips for a minute. "No. No, I don't think it is."
"Maybe you just need to find it again,” she offered generously.
He looked away from her as shame clutched at him, but there in the dark cold night, in the warmth of her arms, he felt safe; he felt as though he could trust this new friend he had made.
"I have tried, but she's just not interested in it. She doesn't even share the same room with me, or the same bed. We haven't made love in a long, long time. It's just not there anymore." His voice was quiet and the music held them close.
Cami watched him with sympathetic eyes and a heart that hurt for the loneliness she saw hidden away in him. "How long has it been?" she asked him.
He sighed and looked away from her again. "Oh, I guess it's been about two and a half years. Maybe three... yeah, three years."
She stared at him and stopped dancing, leaving her arms at his side. "You haven't made love with her in three
years? Do you have a lover on the side?"
He shook his head. "Oh God no, of course not. No. It's just she and I."
Cami felt her heart ache for her new friend, and her eyes filled up with tears for him. "That is so awful! How could anyone be in such a close relationship and not be loved? Not be touched and held? How horrible to feel so alone when you are bound to someone who should love you more than anyone else in the world!" She shook her head as he watched her, and he realized that the words she had spoken were the truth that had darkened his heart for so long.
He was alone, completely alone, because he had no one to go to; no one because he was married to a woman who was absent from his heart and his bed. It was one of the worst things he'd ever heard or felt, and he stared at Cami in a near horror.
She shook her head and threw her arms around him, holding him tightly in an embrace, pressing herself as closely to him as possible.
