What She Left Us

by Stephanie Elliot

  Chapter 33

  Courtney thought it was so mean that her mom didn’t want her Aunt Helena to visit ever again, and especially at Christmas time. After all, that’s the time of year when you should celebrate with family, and she knew that her aunt would probably be all alone and sad. She wondered if she had a puppy or a cat to keep her company, and if anyone would give her a present on Christmas day, or if Santa Claus visited lonely people. She thought she would at least write her a note to let her know she wished she could visit even though her mom said she couldn't.

  Dear ant helena,

  Hi. Its me courtney. i know you want to vizit and I wish you wud. Yur my favrit ant. Im soree you cant come for Crismus. i like when you cam last time and we got some ice creem. my sistre is beng a brat. she is stuped now all she cares about is her frend Lilly and she likes boys. Its dum. i still like playeng dress up and dolls. merree Crismus.

  love courtney

  Courtney thought it was a really nice thing to do – to send her aunt a Christmas note, especially since she felt sad that her aunt couldn’t come for the holidays. Her mom sounded so mean on the phone when she was telling her dad she didn’t want Aunt Helena at their house. Courtney was afraid that if she asked her mom to mail the letter for her she might not do it. So when her mom had her address book out when she was doing her Christmas notes, Courtney snuck over to it and looked under Haddonfield and found her aunt’s address in Chicago. She wrote it down and snatched a stamp. It was one of those Virgin Mary ones. She held the baby Jesus and wore a pretty blue veil. Those had always been her favorite stamps. Those and the snowman stamps. But she didn’t see any snowman stamps or she would have taken one of those. Courtney felt like she was doing a good deed. She knew the letter would make her aunt happy, and that made her happy too.

  Chapter 34

  “So you’re going to live here?”

  “Only until I can find an apartment or condo and get a few things shipped here. I figured that would be okay with you? I mean, we should be together while we’re going through this treatment, don’t you?” Jenna sat next to Courtney on her small bed.

  “Where are you going to sleep? Oh my God, I can’t believe we have to have blood drawn twice a week. How’m I going to do that and get through classes? Shit. I haven’t even told Mitch yet. Oh my God.” Courtney put her head into her hands and rocked back and forth on her bed. A bed that was definitely not big enough for she and Jenna to share. It was perfectly cozy for her and Mitch, but not for her and her sister.

  “We’ll figure it out. I couldn’t be at home without you, and go through all of this alone. I have no one there. I found out Darren's seeing someone.”

  “No way!”

  “I went to his house. He was there with a woman he works with. They were cooking dinner together.” Jenna started tearing up but then waved the tears away. “Not going to cry! It’s over.” She continued to wave her hands in front of her face to stop herself from crying. “Maybe I’ll bag a freshman to take my mind off Darren.”

  “Jenna!”

  “Come on! That was funny, and I’m kidding! But okay. We need a serious plan. I can stay, right? I’ll get a blow-up bed from Target for now, and I’ll find a place right away. I’m going to get a job, and then after winter break, I'll take some classes toward my master's. I already looked into the program.

  "And we have to get to the local hospital to have our blood drawn. Oh shit! We probably should have started today. Oh well, it’s not going to kill us to miss one day, right?” Jenna joked. Then she said slowly and steadily, “Because we.are.not.going.to.die.”

  Courtney shook her head and then brushed her bangs away from her eyes. “I’m not taking all this in right now. Seriously, this is too much to comprehend. I’m getting a major headache.” She rubbed her temples.

  Jenna patted her sister’s hand. “Everything is going to be fine. I’m here, that’s why I’m here. To make sure everything is going to be okay. I’m going to take care of you, to take care of us. I’m good. I’ve processed everything. I think I’m almost over Darren. I had a major cryfest last night,” Jenna continued. “Do you see these huge bags under my eyes? I was up until four a.m. going through all our stuff, almost like a purging. I might even get my tattoo removed. I bet he already did. It’s time to start over, a fresh new move.”

  Courtney looked at her sister and wondered who the girl sitting across from her really was. This was not her sister talking. There was no way she was over Darren.

  “So here’s what we’ll do. You go to class, I’m going to get the paper and start looking for an apartment, and also to see if I can find a part-time job. I need to do something to stay busy or I'll go nuts. I’m also going over to the local hospital to schedule appointments for Monday for the both of us. Oh, and I guess you’ll have to tell that boyfriend of yours, huh?”

  “You don’t like him, do you?”

  “He’s kind of, um… I can’t read him,” Jenna admitted.

  “Well, you better start reading him and liking him,” Courtney said. “Because I really, really like him.”

  “So, safe to say you’ve, um… ?” Jenna raised her eyebrows.

  “A lady never tells,” Courtney said.

  “There are no ladies in this room,” Jenna joked.

  “Let’s just say you might have to find an apartment very fast,” Courtney grinned.

  “I guess I’m going to have to learn to like him, or at least get along with him?” Jenna asked.

  “Oh yes, you’re going to have to like him,” Courtney said. “Because I definitely do.”

  “Go to class, and get some, while you’re out there. Class, that is.”

  Chapter 35

  Mitch and Courtney were in the cafeteria, having dinner. Noisy, hungry kids yelled to their friends, silverware clanged as students dropped spoons onto trays, and Courtney felt the remains of her headache resurface. Jenna had gone out to see an apartment that looked promising.

  “So your sister, she doesn’t like me too much, does she?”

  “It’s not that, she’s a bit over-protective,” Courtney took a bite of her sandwich, and then flipped it back onto her plate. “I’m done with this.”

  Nothing looked good in the cafeteria line so she chose a turkey on wheat, while Mitch got the meatloaf and mashed potatoes, which he rifled through as if it were his last meal.

  “What’s she doing here anyway?” Mitch asked, finishing up his last bite.

  “That’s real nice,” Courtney said.

  “I don’t mean it that way, but seriously, what kind of sister comes to college to live with her little sister?” He touched her hand gently.

  “Let’s go upstairs and I’ll tell you,” Courtney said.

  “That bad?”

  “Not that bad, but not something I want to discuss over meat loaf and the rest of this slop.”

  “Can we take the elevator?” he grinned. It had become their joke ever since the first time he kissed her. Now, every chance they got to take the elevator, they did, and they made the most of it.

  “Only if we can take it alone.”

  “Deal.”

  They cleared their trays and walked hand-in-hand to the elevators. Courtney didn’t care if anyone saw them, and apparently it didn’t bother Mitch to hold her hand in public. Enough of the staff had seen them together and she had spoken with her supervisor about it. As long as she was doing her duties as RA and not letting anything interfere with the safety of the kids she was responsible for, then it was okay for her to date whomever she wanted to date.

  When the first elevator arrived, a group of kids from the cafeteria showed up so Mitch and Courtney waited for the next elevator. When that one came, they dashed on alone. Mitch hit the button to floor six and pushed Door Close before the next group of kids came along, saying, “Come on, close, close already, hurry,” as he heard a bunch of kids in the hallway.

  As the doors closed shut, Mitch and Courtney heard outside, “Damn, we missed it.”


  He reached for her, as he always did. She moved toward him and placed her hands in his front jeans pockets. He kissed her neck and she toyed with his jeans. He groaned, “God Courtney, I can’t get enough of you.”

  “You can have all of me.”

  “Let’s get back to your room,” he said.

  “I think we have to go to your room.”

  “Damn. Your room is so much nicer. It even smells better.”

  “I don’t know when Jenna’s coming back, and besides, we have to talk first.”

  “Can we talk second?” he asked. Now he was kissing the side of her ear, and she grabbed at his butt, pulling him closer.

  “Stop,” she said.

  “Stop what?” he teased her more, kissing her neck.

  “God, how long does it take to get to our floor?”

  “I love these elevator trips,” Mitch said. The doors slid open and they moved apart, not sure if anyone would be waiting to get on. JT, Todd, Bren and Angie were there.

  “Sooo,” Angie smiled at them, “Where are you two coming from?”

  Courtney cleared her throat and felt her face burn red. “Dinner. We just had dinner.”

  Todd said, “I bet you did.”

  “Yeah, looks like it was tasty,” JT added.

  They got in the elevator as Mitch and Courtney exited, and then as the doors began to close, Todd said, “Enjoy dessert!” And the whole group busted out laughing.

  “Oh God, I cannot deal with this,” Courtney said.

  “They’re a bunch of idiots. They know nothing about real relationships,” Mitch said.

  Courtney felt her heart thump a little faster at Mitch’s mention of theirs being a real relationship.

  “So, my room?” he asked.

  “Yeah, let’s go talk. I’ve got something kind of serious to tell you.”

  Chapter 36

  Finding an apartment in a college town was going to be a lot harder than she thought. Jenna had looked at three already and none of them were right. The problem was they had all been previously rented by college students and well, typical college students were slobs. Plain and simple. College students didn’t have the mindset of an adult, they didn’t care about the place they were calling their home, they didn’t care if the carpets were clean, if the toilets and showers came stain-free, if the refrigerator had mold in it. She had seen her share of disgusting and was ready to call it a day.

  But she was starving. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast, when she had grabbed a bagel and a coffee on her way out of town, and now she was dying for some food. She was sure that Courtney didn’t keep food in that box of a room she lived in, and she didn’t know where she was going to find any real good food, so she got in her car and headed back toward campus and stopped at the first place she saw, Klippy’s. The outside said Food, Froth and Fun. She didn’t care about the froth and the fun, but the food, she needed it and she needed it now.

  When she walked in, the smell of something wonderful hit her senses, and her stomach growled in appreciation. The place looked kind of crowded and then she remembered what it was like to be in college on a Thursday night – a big party night, so she edged her way to the bar area and found an empty stool. Katy Perry was playing, and even though it was early, a couple of girls were dancing on a small dance floor in the corner. Jenna wondered if they were drunk already, and even though she was more than exhausted, totally spent, and unsure where her life was heading, the atmosphere of Klippy’s put her in a different mind-set immediately. She felt like maybe she could be eighteen again.

  She settled herself up on the stool and the bartender at the other end of the bar made eye contact with her. He was cute, she thought. She nodded to let him know she was fine with waiting, then twirled around to watch the girls dancing and to check out the crowd.

  It looked like an interesting mix of people – not too many fraternity and sorority types, and it didn’t look like a crowd too much younger than she was. She liked the fact that the servers wore clean bright pink T-shirts and jeans. Not bare-midriff, bra-strap, stripper outfits. A couple of people she made eye contact with smiled at her. This seemed like a really friendly place. She wondered if Courtney ever came here. Probably not. She was too busy shacking up with that boy of hers.

  “What can I get you?”

  Jenna turned her attention back to the bar. She liked how even the bar stools swiveled. It was kitschy. The cute bartender smiled at her while he wiped dry a glass.

  “Oh hey. Can I get a menu? And a Blue Moon? With an orange?”

  “A whole orange?”

  Jenna felt the sides of her mouth turn up. A genuine smile.

  “No, just a slice, or a wedge, or whatever.”

  “A Blue Moon, with an orange whatever coming up. And a menu,” he said.

  Jenna laughed. Florence and the Machine’s Dog Days Are Over played loud through the bar.

  “God, I hope my dog days are over,” Jenna said.

  “You having a bad day?” the bartender asked, sliding the ice cold beer to her. It was on tap, another reason she was going to love this place.

  “Try a bad half year,” Jenna said.

  “Well, you do know that bartenders are way cheaper than therapists, plus we work late, and don’t charge by the hour. I’m Clay.” He reached his hand out to her and she took it. It was slightly damp and strong, and he kept it in hers a beat longer than necessary.

  “Hi Clay, thanks for the laughs already,” Jenna smiled.

  “You a student here?”

  “Oh my gosh, you’re making me feel so good. No, I’m a little bit older than that. But I might take some master's classes. My sister goes here though. I’m visiting.”

  She realized she was rambling, and took a long, cool sip of her beer. “Well actually, I think I just moved here. Today, in fact. I’m looking for a place to stay, and a part-time job. I need to be near my sister. Family stuff. Hence, the bad half a year.”

  Good God, who says ‘hence,’ she thought.

  “Gotcha. Told you we bartenders are therapists. You would have had to pay me fifty bucks by now, and all you owe me is for the beer, and if you want to eat something.”

  “Oh yeah, let me see. I didn’t even look at the menu yet.”

  “Take your time uh… ”

  “Jenna. I’m Jenna.”

  “Nice to meet you, Jenna.”

  “Thanks, Clay.”

  “I've got to see how the other end of the bar is doing, but I’ll be back to check on you. Welcome to Klippy's.”

  “Or do you mean, ‘Welcome to therapy?’” Jenna laughed.

  “Whatever you want to call it,” Clay called out as he made his way toward the end of the bar, winking at her.

  Chapter 37

  Courtney settled herself onto Mitch’s bed and he went to his mini-fridge and grabbed two beers. By now he knew she liked hers in a glass with a thin slice of lime squeezed into it. He poured hers into a chilled mug, and plopped in a piece of pre-sliced lime. He grabbed his beer, still in the bottle, and sat next to her.

  “So, what’s so serious we couldn’t talk around a bunch of idiots down at the cafeteria?”

  “It’s about my mom.”

  He licked his lips, placed his beer on the ledge behind his bed. “You okay? You don’t ever really talk about her.”

  “No, I mean, yes, I’m okay. It’s been hard. It’s just really Jenna and me now. My dad, well, we see him every now and then, we’ll visit him in Chicago once or twice a year, but… ” Courtney swallowed hard, trying to push the tears away. She didn’t want to cry. She had never cried in front of Mitch. She didn’t want to be that vulnerable girl in front of him. That wasn’t her. It never had been her. She didn’t want to start now. She pushed those feelings down, tried to wash them away with a sip of her beer.

  But she couldn’t help it and the tears came anyway. She didn’t know how she was going to explain everything to Mitch, about the disease, about how she was really scared about the future, about how m
uch she already cared about him. So she let the tears fall, unable to say anything.

  He took the beer from her hand, and gathered her into his arms, onto her lap.

  “Hey Court, it’s okay, whatever it is, everything is going to be okay. You can tell me. I’m here. I don’t want to go anywhere. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  He held her and smoothed her hair while she cried. She cried for the loss of her mother, wishing they had known what was slowly killing her, wishing they would have been able to stop it in time. She cried for the fear of the unexpected – she knew she wasn’t going to die, yet she was scared of what was going to happen to her and Jenna. She had been so brave, put up a front for her sister, who had been going through so much, and Courtney was about to lose it; she was losing it now.

  And here was Mitch, holding her in his arms, telling her everything was going to be fine, absolutely fine, and he didn’t even know what she was crying about.

  She whimpered and raised her head and Mitch wiped away at some stray tears. “You okay? You feel a bit better?”

  Courtney actually did. She needed a good cry and she sighed. Mitch kissed her forehead and brushed her bangs away from her eyes.

  “You even look pretty when you cry and your face is all splotchy.”

  Courtney attempted a smile. “I need my beer.”

  “Just as I thought, totally a girl after my own heart. I knew you were perfect for me.” Mitch handed Courtney her beer and she took another sip.

  “So, here’s the thing,” Courtney began. “My mom died from this disease called hemochromatosis. When I went home for fall break, Jenna and I were tested for it. We both tested positive. It’s hereditary.”

  A look of shock passed over Mitch’s face, but then it disappeared as quickly as it came.

  “It sounds way worse than it is. We’re really going to be okay. The doctors told us. We’re young and healthy. But that’s why my sister came. So we can be here together. We’re lucky we caught it early. Mom went undetected. I’m so upset because it’s so treatable, had we known, Mom would still be here with us.”