The Touch Of The Outcast

by Amalia Altman

  “My lord,” came her voice as he walked in the door. His breath caught in his throat and he looked over at her where she was standing in the doorway of the sitting room, her bright green eyes fixed on him, looking wary. “Did you—did you have a good trip?”

  “It was interesting,” Julian said, holding her eye. “I learned quite a few things.”

  “Oh,” was all she said. She was holding her hands in front of her, a shy look in her eyes. Julian wanted more than everything to cross the room to her and sweep her into his arms, but he couldn’t bring himself to touch her. Getting close to Elise, getting intimate with her, was dangerous enough without letting her into his head. He had been serious about never touching her again, even though the thought of that made him ache with remorse and regret.

  “Did you just wake up?” Julian asked her. He tried not to smile when he looked her over, saw that her hair was a complete mess on her head. Her lips were stained dark from the makeup she had put on them the night before, and it made them look even more swollen and kissable than they usually were. She nodded in answer to his question.

  “I haven’t slept,” Julian said.

  “Where did you go?” asked Elise. He stared at her without answering. He would let her tell her story before he told her what he had found out. He wanted to see if they matched, and if they didn’t, he needed to know who was telling the truth.

  “I’ll be up in a few hours,” Julian said, and turned from Elise before she could say anything, or before he could say anything to her. He went upstairs and tried not to think about it, hoping that he’d get more answers from her than he’d gotten from his trip.

  Chapter 22

  Elise kicked her feet in the water, reaching down to drag her fingers across the surface. It was cool, but it felt good on her skin after a long day of working in the mansion. She looked out at the clear pond, at the waterfall that fed into it, and tried to let the peace of the place sink into her. Elise had been tense since the moment she’d seen Martha Vaskar at the ball. Her body hadn’t been able to relax, nor had she really slept in the days since. Every moment she was awake, she thought of going to Julian, of explaining to him about her powers and what her past had been with them. Elise wasn’t sure that he would take her side, though, if he found out what had happened at home with the priest. Nobody else in her life ever had. So she said nothing, afraid that he would still reject her, that she would have to see even more disgust in his eyes once he’d found out what she’d done.

  Lovely whinnied behind Elise and she turned, glancing over her shoulder at the horse. Lovely pawed at the ground restlessly, though they hadn’t been there for very long. There was something in the horse’s eyes that was telling Elise that something was wrong—they were wide and frightened, and the horse let out another noise that was so loud it made Elise jump.

  “Lovely,” Elise said, concerned as she stood up and pet the horse’s mane. Lovely whinnied again, growing even more restless, kicking at the ground with her back feet. Elise tried to calm the horse down by stroking her, taking the reins in hopes that it would make Lovely stop where she was.

  “What’s wrong, honey?” Elise asked in a soft voice. There was a noise behind her in the trees, the snapping of branches, and as Elise was turning to look, Lovely darted off and away from her. Elise was still holding onto the reins, and didn’t let go in time before she flew off her feet, dragging behind the horse briefly before she let go and rolled to a stop, out of breath. Elise heard more footsteps behind her, slow and deliberate, and when she looked over her shoulder she saw that the shadows in the forest were too thick for her to see through.

  “Hello?” she called out. “Tom? Julian?”

  There was no answer, but another footstep. Elise didn’t wait for any more. She scrambled to her feet and ran, taking off barefoot across the estate and back to the mansion. There was a noise behind her and she turned to look, seeing nothing. It was then that she collided hard with something firm but soft that sent her sprawling backward to the ground. She lost her breath, closing her eyes in fear and pain.

  “Elise,” said Julian. She opened her eyes and he knelt down next to her, putting his hand on her elbow to help her sit up. “What’s wrong?”

  “There’s—there’s somebody in the trees,” Elise stammered, looking back at the forest. “Somebody was watching me. Somebody—somebody was following me.”

  “Who?” Julian asked, a confused look of concern on his face.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “The man from the party. The man from the road. I don’t know.”

  “Elise—“ he said, but she shook her head. He got up then.

  “Stay here.,” he said.

  “Wait—“ but he took off in the direction of the trees, jogging into the darkness. Elise watched him until she could no longer see him, holding her breath as she looked around. It was dark, lit only by the moon, and every shadow around her looked ominous and frightening. After a moment, she stood up, scanning the trees.

  “Lord Ashton?” she called out. “Julian?”

  There was no answer. Elise stepped closer, feeling her heart pound in her chest. She thought about the man at the party, the things in his mind. She thought about Julian out there alone, having been sent into the dark forest by her panicking.

  “Julian!” Elise called out, feeling a panic start to rise within her. There was no answer, and she started to pace for a few moments back and forth on the grass, chewing hard on her lip. Elise felt on the verge of tears as she stood there waiting. She had no idea what to do, and she was about to go back to the house when she heard the crunching of footsteps again. Elise froze in place.

  “Julian?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he said, stepping out of the shadow and into the moonlight. “I’m fine, I—“

  Elise jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his hips, not caring that he didn’t want to touch her. She was so filled with relief to see him that she couldn’t help but to kiss him, to taste his mouth in relief as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His mind went blank as it had the first time he’d told her to read it and she knew that he was blocking off his thoughts. Elise sighed and pulled away from him, looking up at his face. He stared at her, holding her eye for a moment before he leaned forward to kiss her softly, just once. She saw an image of herself in his mind, afraid, then wrapped comfortably in his arms. He wanted to reach out to her, but instead he pulled away and his face changed from one of longing to one of concern.

  “What happened?” he asked her.

  “Lovely got spooked. She ran. She—I was holding the reins and she dragged me.”

  “What?” he asked, looking down over her body. There was a tear in her dress along one side, ripped almost all the way through in a long slit that exposed her on one side from top to bottom. The dress was barely hanging on to her by a thread, something she had just noticed when he looked at her. Elise looked down at his face, which was intent as he studied her. She saw the tension on his face, the desire, and his hand hovered close to her skin, not quite touching it. He wanted to desperately—she could see it in his eyes. But he was fighting himself. Julian looked up at her and she could see the struggle in his eyes.

  “Does it hurt?” he asked, and his voice sounded gruff. Elise nodded, her lip pressed forward in a slight pout that she knew would drive him crazy. She desperately wanted him to give in to what he wanted—she wanted to know exactly what he was thinking, exactly how hard it was for him to stay away.

  “It stings,” she said to him.

  “There’s mud all over it. It’s hard to see if you got cut.”

  “Wipe it off,” Elise said.

  He gritted his teeth, hesitating, lifting his hand to her thigh. His eyes were locked on hers and she almost begged him to touch her in that moment, knowing that his thoughts alone would bring her pleasure.

  “Why are you doing this?” he asked.

  “Because I need your h
elp, my lord,” Elise said innocently. “I don’t think I can’t walk on this leg and I need you to carry me.”

  He chuckled, running his hand through his hair with an exasperated look on his face.

  “I could come back with Potts,” he said, though he looked like he hated the idea.

  “And leave me alone out here at night with a murderer?” she asked.

  “Elise,” he said, his face going serious. “I don’t think—“

  Elise put her finger on his lips to quiet him, closing her eyes when she saw his thoughts. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched herself on top of him, wearing her tattered dress, riding him in the grass. He wanted her so badly that he didn’t even want to wait to go inside to have her. The idea of that made her ache, knowing how badly he wanted her, how hard he was holding himself back.

  “Stop,” he said in a voice that was soft, but firm, pulling his face back from her. But she leaned in and kissed him anyway, unable to stop herself.

  “I want you,” she breathed against his lips. “I want you so bad, Julian. I’ve never wanted anything so bad before.”

  “What do you want from me, Elise?” he asked, looking into her eyes. “What is it you want?”

  “I want you to make love to me, my lord,” she said.

  He stared at her for a moment, then took a deep breath. Elise saw the moment she lost him, the moment he realized that she wasn’t worth touching. It shamed her, stung her so deeply she felt it all over her body. She looked away from him, wrapping the dress around her body and holding it closed as she made her way back to the estate without looking back at him.

  “Elise,” he said as he jogging to catch up with her long strides. “If it hurts to walk—“

  “Leave me alone, Julian,” she said. She started to run then, her bare feet stinging on the ground, not caring about the fact that her dress was whipping around her. She felt him wrap his arms around her from behind and pull her back to his chest, stopping her from running away. He was touching her through her clothes, his skin not making contact, so she couldn’t read his thoughts, but she could feel his breath on the back of her neck as he held her still.

  “What are you doing?” she asked him.

  “Are you a witch, Elise?” he asked softly.

  She turned around to look at him, meeting his eye.

  “Yes,” she said,. “I suppose I am.”

  “Have you cast a spell on me?” he asked, his eyes on her lips. He looked serious, as if the concern was truly on his mind.

  Elise smiled at him. She couldn’t help herself.

  “Yes, my lord,” she said. “I’ve cast a spell on you. I wanted you to fall madly in love with me and make me your wife.”

  “Stop,” he said, a slight pleading in his voice. She kissed him then, softly, and in his mind she saw his truth—herself in white gown, flowers in her hair, smiling. She kissed him again and he still didn’t respond, but didn’t close his mouth to her, either. Her lips lingered over his.

  “Is it working?” she whispered. “Have you fallen in love with me?”

  “No,” he said, but Elise already knew it was a lie. She smiled and allowed him to keep his secret, to avoid speaking it aloud. Elise knew what was real, what she had seen in his mind. She felt filled with warmth and light as she leaned in to kiss him again, sucking on his bottom lip. He pulled away from her.

  “I can’t,” he said slowly, deliberately. “Not with you. Not with your power.”

  “You’d let your secrets keep you from loving me?” Elise asked. He stared at her without answering. Elise wanted to touch him again, to find out exactly what he was thinking.

  “Do you need me to carry you to the mansion?” he asked her.

  “No,” she said, swallowing hard as they started toward the house. They were silent as they split up when they got their and went into their separate rooms. Elise took a deep breath when she shut the door and leaned against it, closing her eyes and trying to soothe the ache in her chest.

  Chapter 23

  Julian paced back and forth in his room, tension in his body. All the words Elise had said played through his mind over and over, and the answer to her question was still on his lips. She asked him if he loved her and he had somehow told her no. Julian shook his head, running his hands through his hair. He managed to hold out for a quarter of an hour before he took a deep breath and left his room, going down the hall to Elise’s door. He stood there for a moment, his hand raised to knock, but found himself hesitating. He knew exactly what would happen if Elise opened this door—he would be opening himself up to her.

  He didn’t get the chance to knock before she opened it, jumping back when she saw him, her hand on her chest.

  “My lord,” she said, looking up at his face. “What are you—why are you here?”

  Julian looked at her. He didn’t open his mouth, didn’t answer her question with his lips. Instead he took her hand in his and stared into her eyes. She closed hers, her lips parting as she read his thoughts. He didn’t know how it worked for her, what she saw or felt or heard. But in his head, he told her that he loved her, over and over until a smile spread over her face and she stood on her toes to kiss him.

  “Are you going to make love to me, my lord?” she asked against his lips, kissing him again, nipping his lip. He nodded, wrapping his arms around her and backing her into her room. He shut and locked the door behind them, watching as she stood in front of him. The room was dark, and the windows open so that the curtains blew like ghosts in the breeze. There was something ethereal about Elise, something almost inhuman, and he remembered the night that he’d seen her in his room, acting like a wild animal.

  “What are you?” Julian asked her, marveling at the way she looked in the moonlight. Her hair was down over her shoulder and she was smiling at him, a playful look in her eyes.

  “I’m a witch,” she said to him, beginning to unlace the front of her dress. She pulled it open to bare herself to him, standing in front of him completely naked for the first time. Julian took his time looking her over—her sweet, pale skin, rosy pink nipples, the small thatch of red curls between her thighs. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with her first—all at once he was filled with the need to fuck her, to taste her, to make her come.

  “Come here,” she said, taking his arm and pulling him against her. He wrapped his arms around the soft skin of her bare waist, holding her delicately, as if she would break. Naked, she looked even smaller, though her body was sleek with muscle from working through the day.

  “This isn’t fair,” he said, taking her mouth in a kiss.

  “What’s not fair?”

  “You get to read my mind,” he said, running his hands down over her backside, down over the backs of her thighs. “And I have no idea what you’re thinking at all.”

  “I’ll tell you what I’m thinking,” she said with a playful smile.

  “Tell me,” he commanded. She tilted her face to his, kissing his lips as he spread her from behind, his finger stroking her lower lips from the back. He couldn’t help himself, especially not when he felt how soaking wet she was already. She gasped when he slid a finger inside of her, biting her lip as he slid it in and out.

  “I—I” she said, spreading her legs even further, wanting more than he was giving her. “I can’t—“

  Julian stopped touching her folds, making her whimper.

  “If you can’t speak while I touch you—“

  “I can,” she said hurriedly, taking his hands and placing them on her breasts. Julian nearly groaned as he touched them, stroking her nipples with his thumbs.

  “So talk,” he said as he traced the hard bud with the tips of his fingers.

  “I want you to take your clothes off, my lord,” she said. “I want to see you.”

  Julian hesitated, thinking about the scars on his back. They had not healed handsomely, and he’d grimaced at himself in the mirror the
last time he’d looked at the twisted flesh there. Elise saw what he was thinking in his mind and nuzzling his neck, using her fingers to unbutton his shirt.

  “I love you,” she said. “I want to see everything.”

  Julian felt his heart expand when she said the words, and he wanted to kiss her. Instead, he watched as she placed soft kisses down the flat planes of his chest, her soft lips pressing against him, making his cock grow harder and harder. She got down to his trousers and began to take them off, freeing his cock of its confines. She looked up at him shyly when she saw it, and in that moment he desperately wished that he too could read minds.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

  “I, um—“ she said, blushing deeply. “It’s just—“

  The look on her face, her speechlessness, made Julian ache to pick her up and throw her on the bed, taking her rough and hard until that looked turned from innocent to wild.

  “Do you want it, Elise?” Julian asked her. “Do you want my cock?”

  She blushed even deeper somehow, looking up at his eyes and nodding with her lips parted.

  “Yes,” she breathed.

  “Tell me how you want it,” he said as he backed her onto the bed.

  “What do you mean?” she asked, staring up at his face, chewing on her full, wet bottom lip.

  “Well, Elise, you have some options,” he said as he moved over her, placing a kiss on her neck, tasting the skin there before moving down to the space between her breasts. “I can fuck you good and hard, if that’s what you want.”

  “Oh,” she said, squirming underneath him. Julian looked down to see that her lower lips were glistening, swollen and deep pink. “What else?”

  Julian smiled, taking one of her hard nipples between his lips as his fingers toyed with the curls between her legs.

  “Or I could make love to you,” he said, sucking gently on the hard bead, rolling his tongue around it. “And be so, so gentle, Elise. If that’s what you need.”