Head Over Heels

by Crystal B. Bright

  Thane had already said all he wanted to say to the woman who raised him. He shook his head. “No.”

  Gideon furrowed his eyebrows for a moment. “Are you sure? Once people come in, you won’t be able to—”

  “I said I’m fine.” He started to walk away but stopped. He turned back to Gideon. “Sorry for cutting you off.”

  Elizabeth would have appreciated that.

  As Gideon had warned, the doors opened and a flood of mourners arrived. Thane remembered many of them from his childhood, from seeing them around his mother’s various businesses and from church. He wondered if some had arrived only to see the three star athletes, if they hadn’t come to pay their respects to a woman who could do no wrong. They wanted to see the MMA fighter, the NFL quarterback, and the MLB pitcher in tears.

  Fortunately, this mega church had a grieving area for the family that also had a sheer curtain to obscure their appearances. Thane decided to make his way to that area and sit in the second row in the corner.

  “No, you’re here.” Gunnar pointed to a chair toward the end of the front row. “Immediate family up front.”

  Thane took a deep breath and sauntered to the front row. He sat down but kept his gaze forward, staring at the casket, noting how the ornate decorations glittered under the overhead lighting.

  Gunnar stood in front of Thane. In his black suit and tie, he looked like the grim reaper himself.

  “Do you have your speech?” Gunnar patted his pocket.

  Thane shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t talk about Mom.” Besides, the speech he’d written now rested in their mother’s pocket.

  “We all said we would get up and say something about her.” Gunnar’s voice started to rise.

  The volume got Thane’s attention. He peered up and planted his feet to get ready to stand and square off against the giant. Today, no one could hurt him.

  “Gunny, please.” Eboni held Gunnar’s hand. “Some people can’t get up and talk about a loved one in this kind of setting. I don’t know if I could do it. Give your brother a break.”

  Gunnar glared at Thane for a moment before regarding Eboni. He gave her a solid nod before going back to their seats. Like the gentlemen Elizabeth had raised them to be, both Gunnar and Gideon helped their ladies take a seat before occupying chairs next to them.

  Thane felt a brush against his shoulder. He turned to see an older African-American gentleman he’d never seen before. The man took a seat next to him. With his straight posture and expensive-looking suit, he looked like a businessman, or worse, a politician. He wore a black suit with a complementing black-and-red tie. Elizabeth would have appreciated the colors, but Thane didn’t like this stranger sitting in the family area.

  “Sorry, family only here.” Thane pointed to the general seating area in the church.

  Gideon leaned forward. “Thane, that’s Fred.”

  Thane stared at his brother for a moment while he let the name tumble around in his head. The confusion on his face must have been evident.

  Gideon quickly said, “Fred and Mom were dating.”

  Thane turned to the gentleman, who now had tears in his red-rimmed eyes.

  “I wanted to ask her to marry me after she got all better.” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his eyes underneath his glasses. “Son, if you love someone, don’t wait to tell them.”

  “I know.” Thane also wanted to tell this stranger not to call him son.

  Only one person had the right to do that, and she could no longer speak.

  It didn’t take long for the church to fill up. So many people arrived that they had an overflow section in the recreation building behind the church where they had a live video feed projected on a large screen.

  Thane took a deep breath. When he caught the scent of the flowers, it almost broke him. It reminded him so much of Elizabeth that the tears he’d been struggling to hold back began to cascade down his face. He turned his attention away from his brothers. When he did, Fred offered him another handkerchief. Thane shook his head and turned from him. Keeping his gaze directed to the floor would be the safest bet.

  The funeral started with their reverend giving a lovely eulogy about Elizabeth. Thane tried tuning the man out, but as usual, his booming voice kept Thane interested in what he’d said.

  “We will truly miss this remarkable woman,” the reverend said. “Now we’ll have her sons get up and speak about the woman they knew.”

  Gideon stood first. Janelle kissed the back of his hand before he could make his way up to the podium to speak.

  Thane kept his stare on the blood-red carpeting. He tossed the idea around in his head of the type of person who would approve of such a color being used in a church. Then Gideon spoke.

  “I met Elizabeth Sommerville, my mother, when I was about six or seven. My brothers and I had it rough before we were blessed to be adopted by this incredible woman.” Gideon sniffed and paused a moment before he continued. “The very first thing I recalled about her was that she was so incredibly beautiful. You have to remember, I was a little kid. I had never seen anyone, man or woman, wearing as many pieces of jewelry as Queen Elizabeth.”

  A ripple of laughter sounded through the chapel.

  That got Gideon to smile. “Her face was all done up. Her lipstick was put on perfectly. I think I even asked her how she was able to paint in the lines because I couldn’t.”

  The audience erupted in laughter. Thane couldn’t muster up the gesture.

  “As usual, my mom put her hand to my cheek.” Gideon put his hand against his face as though feeling her now. “And she leaned down and she said, ‘Dear, I practiced a lot to get this good.’” Gideon did laugh this time. “She was the one who put a football in my hand and allowed me to follow my passion, of course, while making sure I got my education. She also made me work in her flower shop.” He shook his head. “At first, I wasn’t too thrilled about that. What teenage boy wants to spend evenings and weekends sweeping up leaves and stems? As always, Elizabeth made me appreciate what plants and flowers had to offer. She showed me the life and beauty in each one.” He smiled. “It also helped that teenage girls like flowers and would come in to the shop often.”

  Laughter filled the entire church.

  He glanced off to the side. “Now I have my own beautiful rose in my life thanks to Elizabeth Sommerville.” He winked at Janelle. “My mother was so strong and so smart. She gave us all a great life while keeping us grounded. I’m going to miss this wonderful woman.” He gazed down at the now closed casket. “I love you, Mom. I know you’ll make Heaven beautiful.” He blew her a kiss and resumed his seat.

  As soon as Gideon sat, he broke down, crying harder than Thane had ever seen him. Thane started to reach out for Gideon’s hand when Janelle seized them both.

  Gideon had someone. Gunnar had someone. As usual, Thane would be left out.

  Gunnar stood and stomped up to the podium. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Excuse my language, but I was truly a bastard when my mother found me.”

  A slight gasp sounded from the audience. Thane stared at Gunnar to hear the rest of his speech. So far, Thane had no reason to disagree with him.

  “I had no idea what good love was. My birth mother treated us so poorly. The foster families we went to were no better.” Gunnar shook his head. “By the time we got to Elizabeth Sommerville, I didn’t think of mothers as protectors. I never thought they could be nurturing. I put Elizabeth through her paces.” He turned to the reverend who sat behind him. “He can tell you. I was not a good kid, even in church.”

  The reverend chuckled and nodded in agreement.

  Gunnar continued. “One day, it all changed. Queen Elizabeth did something that no one else had ever done for me. She showed me she cared about me. She didn’t have to say it. She loved me even when I didn’t love myself. That’s what I’ll always remember about my mother. She had such a big heart. She regarded us all as her own.
She disciplined us when we needed it, but she always made us feel cherished.” He pointed to Gideon. “Just like she made Gid work in her flower shop, she made me work in her hair salon.” He shook his head. “Can you imagine the looks women gave me, a little punk, asking them if I could wash and style their hair? The ladies were not having it. My mother allowed me to style her hair first, in the privacy of our home, mind you. Once I did that and she was satisfied with the work, she told her customers how great I was. It was her endorsement that got the clients to trust me.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I can’t forget how anxious she looked when I told her I was going to go off and fight for a living. She didn’t like the idea, but she knew it was something I had to do.” He held up one finger. “She made me promise one thing before I left. She didn’t want me to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

  The mourners erupted in laughter.

  Thane stared at Gunnar and wanted to blurt out that he had failed in his promise with one person.

  Gunnar paused and looked lovingly at Eboni. “She would have been a wonderful grandmother.”

  Thane sat up straighter and looked over at Eboni, who sobbed in her hands. Christ, had Gunnar announced that he would be a dad soon and hadn’t even shared that news with Thane?

  “I will always remember Elizabeth Sommerville, not as the business owner or the woman who wore all the jewels and makeup, and had the great clothes and shoes. I’ll remember her as the one who liked teasing me. I’ll remember the woman who could make me laugh. I’ll remember the way her bracelets would jingle next to each other. Looking around today, I can see she was loved by more than just her family. I hope you all have great memories of her like we do. Thank you all for being here. Thank you all for loving her.”

  Gunnar returned to his chair. He kept his head held high as the reverend returned to the podium to conclude the funeral. Thane, Gunnar, Gideon, Tillman, an employee from Press ’N Curl, Victor, an employee from Pick ’N Clip, and Fred all served as pallbearers. They carried the casket out to the hearse.

  It took all of Thane’s strength to release the coffin to slide it in the back. He couldn’t let his mother go. Going to the gravesite would be worse than the funeral.

  As he suspected, sitting down next to where his mother’s body would be lowered and kept, rattled him. Thane wanted to crawl out of his skin. He peered up, and through the crowd, he spotted a woman he hadn’t seen before, which for today, meant nothing. He’d sat through a whole funeral service next to a man who’d professed undying love for his mother.

  This woman captured his attention, not because she stood far back from the crowd. Her long, black hair held full curls. Her oak-colored skin tone looked golden in the March sun. Whereas everyone else wore sunglasses, she didn’t. Her almond-shaped brown eyes had him sucked in without her even staring at him. She kept her gaze on the coffin, even as they lowered it into the ground.

  At the conclusion of the service, Thane stood, trying to keep up with this mysterious woman.

  “Are you coming back to the house?” Gideon tugged on Thane’s jacket.

  “What?” Thane broke from his stare to regard his brother.

  “Mom’s house. We’re having family and a few close friends over. You coming?”

  Thane turned back to where he’d seen the woman. She’d disappeared. Damn. “Uh, no. I’m going to—”

  “I know what you’re going to do.” Gideon shook his head. “It’s Mom’s funeral. Can’t you cool it for a day for her?”

  “Christ, Gid, I wasn’t even thinking about—” Thane stopped himself. He hadn’t thought of anything inappropriate with the mystery woman until Gideon had put the idea in his head. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

  Gideon hobbled off with Janelle by his side. Gunnar had stayed behind with Eboni to talk to the reverend and the funeral director. As always, Gunnar made sure to take care of everything, leaving nothing for the rest of them to do.

  Thane crawled into the stretch limousine and managed to get to a seat opposite Gideon and Janelle. The plush interior seemed out of place with what had happened. To match his heartache, Thane would have been happy riding in a broken-down pile of crap.

  Thane ran his hands over the empty seats beside him. The darkened windows along with the black carpeting and black seats gave the space an eerie feel. Then Thane peered over to see a small bar. Although not a big drinker, especially during game season, he needed something to take off the edge. As he leaned over to grab a small bottle of whiskey, the door opened.

  Gunnar helped Eboni inside before he hopped in and closed the door behind himself. They positioned themselves at the back row before the big car took off toward their mother’s home.

  The thought of going to Elizabeth’s house again forced Thane to continue reaching for the booze.

  “Mom’s family and friends will be at her house.” Gunnar’s deep voice carried a harsh quality. His warning tone, directed at Thane, came with a complementing glare.

  Thane cracked the top, breaking the silly paper seal. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

  “It means you shouldn’t be loaded when you talk to Reverend Rufus or Aunt Millie.” Gideon stretched his leg in front of him as he draped his arm around Janelle. “Can you hold off until after everyone leaves?”

  Thane scanned his brothers’ faces along with the ladies, who both had problems connecting their gazes to his. He recognized shame and embarrassment. He didn’t want the women to feel bad. He could care less what his brothers thought.

  “I’ll pop a mint in my mouth.” He tipped the miniature bottle, pouring the contents down his throat.

  The smooth burn oozed down inside like a tasty river of lava. Thane closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the plush seating. Once the liquid settled in his belly, he had to grit his teeth to endure the discomfort he’d caused himself. He squeezed his eyelids closed as the wave of pain crested and flowed away. Even with the ache, he wouldn’t stop drowning his sorrows.

  Take away all memories of today. Let me forget it all.

  “Great.” Gunnar shook his head. “Perfect.”

  Thane shook his head. “Nope. That’s not me.” He reached for another bottle, rum this time. “I’m not perfect.”

  “Mom’s barely in the ground and you’re—”

  “Gunny!” Eboni tugged on Gunnar’s arm. “Please.”

  Gunnar looked down at Eboni. “So he’s allowed to make a fool of himself, and we all have to excuse his behavior?”

  “Why not? We did it for you for years.” Thane said what he’d been thinking for a while and felt no shame in his words, even as Gunnar shot laser beams at him with his stare.

  “What? The alcohol makes you brave?” Gunnar started to get up like he wanted to get to Thane when Eboni’s hand on his arm and Gideon’s forearm across his chest stopped him.

  “Chill, guys.” Gideon pushed Gunnar back. “Can we get along for Mom’s sake?”

  “Yeah. After today, you won’t have to deal with me anymore.” Thane downed the second bottle and tossed it to the floor.

  Gunnar took a deep breath and lowered his head. He put his hands together in prayer form. Had Thane reduced his brother to seek answers through religion?

  “We’re all we have now.” Gunnar brought his head up and stared at Thane. “We have to stick together.”

  Thane wanted to have a smart comeback to Gunnar’s statement. He wanted to blast his brother for wanting to bond as a family when Gunnar had taken off as soon as he could, running away from the only family he knew. Somehow, Eboni had learned to forgive him. Thane hadn’t gotten to that place yet.

  Thane reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tin of wintergreen Altoids. He showed the container to Gunnar, opened it, and popped two mints into his mouth. Without another word, he turned his back on the group. He wanted this ride and this day to end.

  Thane recognized the landscape as they approached their final destination. Knowing his mothe
r never drank, he collected as many of the small bottles of alcohol from the mini bar that he could. He heard a small gasp. When he turned in the direction of the sound, he found Janelle covering her mouth as she turned her head away from him. Gideon, however, kept up his stare.

  “Don’t do this, man.” Gideon shook his head. “We’re all hurting.”

  “Then come see me if you need something.” Thane peeked at Gunnar, who hadn’t raised his head since he’d last spoken to Thane.

  Thane thought he would be okay not getting a judgmental look from his oldest brother. Being ignored, he found, hurt as much as the comments. His gut wrenched even as he stuffed the bottles in his jacket pockets. The glass clinked like a whisper of a promise for his salvation.

  As the limo slowed to a stop in front of Elizabeth’s home, Thane wasted no time in getting out of his seat and opening the door.

  “You want to wait until we come to a complete—”

  “No.” Thane cut off Gideon and stepped out of the car that stopped abruptly.

  More than likely, the driver had caught sight of the door opening and wanted to make sure his passenger didn’t injure himself. Thane stumbled but managed to stay upright as he stomped up to the house. Inside, he found his mother’s flower shop employee, Victor, putting the final touches to a lovely buffet table along the dining room wall. The place had flowers of all kinds everywhere—by the front door, under each window, over every surface, and even from the ceiling. A beautiful bouquet of daisies hung from the center of the room like a decorative but living chandelier.

  “Hey, Thane.” Victor pulled Thane into a hug.

  Thane left his arms dangling on his sides at first, but he couldn’t deny this old family friend. He patted Victor on his back, which triggered the waterworks. Victor embraced Thane harder and cried, which came with long, loud screeching wails.

  “We all miss her.” Thane continued rubbing Victor’s back to calm him down.

  The hug actually started to slow Thane’s raging heartbeat. He found that he missed a personal connection like this, one his brothers had been offering to give him all day.