Close Enough to Touch

by Victoria Dahl

  He felt Grace tilt her head to look up at him, but he didn’t meet her gaze.

  “I burned all my bridges and left everyone behind so I could hang out with glamorous strangers. Two months later, my dad died. That was what I came home to. No family. Friends I’d treated badly. Responsibilities I’d tossed aside. But I came back because this was my home. People forgave me faster than I forgave myself. And no one needs to forgive you for anything. You haven’t hurt anyone. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of.”

  “But it’s not my home, Cole.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She fell silent. He slid a hand over her hair, wondering why she’d changed it. He’d liked the purple streaks, but he was happy to have her back in his arms. He could get used to any hair color she wanted. He let her rest there for a long moment, hoping she’d change her mind. But she didn’t speak.

  “I’m scared, too, you know. I might never ride again. I’ll find out in a couple of weeks.”

  “Find out what?”

  “I’ll have a CT scan, and then they’ll tell me I can’t ride again, and I have to figure out what that means.”

  Her hand spread over his chest. “You’ll be okay.”

  “I won’t be. That last time I saw you at the ranch, I’d finally realized it. I’d ridden and I couldn’t even stand on my own afterward. It’s over, Grace. But it’ll be okay.”

  “But what will you do? If you can’t ride…”

  His throat felt thick, but Cole shook it off. “I’ve always been good with numbers. I’ve got the money I saved up for the ranch. I can take some classes. Go back to school. I can learn to manage the business side of a big place. Maybe one of these dude ranches. It’s not my dream, but it could be my choice.”

  Her fingers pressed into him. He covered her hand with his.

  “Maybe your leg is okay,” she whispered.

  “Maybe,” he conceded, just because she sounded so sad. “But I don’t think so. It scares the hell out of me, but that’s okay.”

  “You’re really scared?” she asked softly.

  “I am. I’d be a fool not to be. So maybe fear means we’re still alive. Maybe it means we haven’t given up yet.”

  “Cole,” she said. Just his name, and then she was silent for a long time. So long that Cole wondered if she’d fallen asleep. But she suddenly pulled away, shrugging the blanket off her shoulders as she sat back. She looked up at him with angry eyes. “Do you even like me?”

  He blinked. “What? Of course I do.”

  “No. No, not ‘of course.’ I know you want me. That’s not the same thing. Sometimes the things you’ve said, or the way you touch me…”

  “Grace,” he breathed. “I’m sorry. If you didn’t—”

  “I’m not saying you shouldn’t have. I’m saying that’s not the way you want a woman you love, is it? A woman you like and respect? You wouldn’t want her that way.”

  He whispered her name again, stunned that she could think that. Heartbroken that he’d made her feel that way.

  “You said it yourself, that you’re not like that with other women.”

  Cole shook his head. “I’m not. You make me feel…out of control. Wild. I thought it was the same for you.” He watched her eyes, feeling as if he might break apart if he saw hurt in them. But he could only see himself, reflected back in the darkness.

  “It is,” she finally said, and his mortification eased back a little. “I want you, Cole. So much. But I wonder if you only want me that way because of what I am.”

  “No,” he answered.

  “Because of who I am.”

  “Fine,” he said harshly, his pulse quick with anxiety. “It is because of who you are. But not the way you mean. It’s because you’re beautiful and wild and brave and strong. It’s because you seem invulnerable, but you melt for me. It’s because I want you so damn much I feel like I need to bite down on a belt when you’re close by. Sometimes I can’t get deep enough or close enough. But other times…other times I want to touch you softly and you won’t let me, Grace.”

  Her cheeks went pink and she looked away. Her makeup was gone, worn away by the day and the rain. She looked so young, as if all her defenses had vanished.

  Cole reached for her, brushing his knuckles along her cheek. He tilted her face up, then slowly leaned closer. She didn’t pull away, and he brushed his mouth over hers. “Let me touch you,” he breathed, trailing his fingers down her neck. “Please.”

  She shook her head, but as he dragged his fingers down to her breast, Grace sighed into his mouth and her hands wove into his hair.

  Her response ramped his arousal up toward that now-familiar wildness. He knew she’d respond with her own wildness if he pushed her. He’d felt the violent need shaking through her. But that wasn’t what she needed tonight. So he touched her slow and soft, and she let him. Finally. She let him ease the last of her clothes off. Let him kiss her everywhere he wanted, until she was whimpering with need. And then she let him slide into her, careful and gentle, as if she were a virgin.

  She said his name and dug her nails into his back, but he couldn’t be goaded. Not tonight. He made love to her. He touched her and let her feel the way he wanted to take care of her. Not because she needed him, but because she didn’t.

  And in the morning, he took her home.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “YOU DON’T NEED TO BE HERE,” Cole grumbled, pulling the brim of his hat lower as he slumped into the chair. He looked around the doctor’s office and found it suspiciously bare. What did the guy do in here? Just steeple his fingers and give bad news from behind his mahogany desk?

  “I know I don’t need to be here,” Grace said. “I want to be here.”

  He looked over his shoulder at the closed door, impatient to get this over with.

  Grace took his hand. “It’s okay to be scared. Right? Isn’t that what you told me?”

  “It’s fine. I know what he’ll say. I won’t be able to ride again. It’s no big deal. I’ll start classes in three weeks.”

  “No big deal,” Grace repeated. “Sure. That’s why you couldn’t sleep last night.”

  He shot her an exasperated look. “You weren’t even at my place last night.”

  “I heard you pacing around after I left.”

  “Maybe if you’d stayed, I wouldn’t have been pacing around.”

  She rolled her eyes, but her fingers squeezed his. She stayed sometimes now. On the weekends, when she didn’t have to get up for work. She’d sleep until he woke her with his hands and his mouth. He’d finally seen the miracle of Grace waking up smiling.

  “If he gives me bad news, will you dye your hair purple again to make me feel better?”

  “God, you’re being a baby.” She took any sting away by kissing his fingers. “Anyway, you said you were getting used to the new hair.”

  “It’s pretty,” he said carefully. It was. Beautiful, actually, but he wished he’d had a little longer with the purple. “If you’ve gone soft, I guess I’ll have to accept that.”

  She might have bristled at that two weeks ago, but now he saw her mouth tighten in a smile she tried to hide. He’d tried to show her just how enjoyable soft could be. Not that she’d ever admit it.

  The door opened behind them, and Cole’s thoughts broke off as if they’d been chopped with an ax.

  This was it. He was ready.

  “All right, Mr. Rawlins.” The doctor set down a laptop and pushed a few buttons. “I’ve taken a look at the images and the report.”

  Her hand tightened in his with far more power than he would have expected. He almost smiled at the thought. He almost forgot that he was about to hear the worst news of his life.

  The doctor frowned at the screen for a moment and then looked up.

  Cole braced himself.

  “Well, everything looks great.”

  A heartbeat passed. And another. Then Cole’s pulse blasted into overdrive. “What?” he breathed.

  “It�
��s looking good. The fracture in your pelvis has finally started to mend. The plates in your femur will stay, of course, unless they—”

  “But I don’t understand,” Cole cut in. “I was in the saddle two weeks ago. It felt like I was rebreaking everything all over again. I thought I was about to split in half.”

  “Well, what did you do? Ride up and down a mountain?”

  “Uh…” He glanced at Grace and then back to the doctor.

  “Listen, things are tender right now. The bone is still healing, and the ligaments and muscles are all tight. You have to ease slowly back into your old routines. I mean slowly. Five minutes in the saddle on a flat trail. Do that for a few days. Then ten minutes. You can’t just pick up where you left off. Use ibuprofen. Ice it to stop the swelling. It might take a whole year, but you’ll be back out there. No worries.”

  No worries. He said it so simply. No worries.

  Jesus. He could ride?

  “You’re keeping up with physical therapy?”

  “Yes,” Cole answered, the word toneless even to his own ear.

  “All right. Three more months of that, and I think we’ll be done with you, Mr. Rawlins. It’s been a pleasure.”

  He stood to shake the man’s hand. The doctor closed his laptop and left, but Cole just stood there, dumbfounded.

  “Cole?” Grace ventured. Her hand touched his back, then slid up to his neck. He could feel each of her fingertips as they brushed his skin.

  “I can buy the ranch,” he breathed.

  “You can.”

  “My leg is okay. My hip…”

  “It is.”

  He looked down to find Grace smiling at him. And her eyes—for once, they were clear, deep whiskey-brown and filled with hope.

  “I guess you’re just a big baby, huh?”

  “I guess I am,” he said hoarsely.

  “I should’ve known. All that bitching about your leg, but you didn’t have any trouble taking me up against the wall of the shower.”

  “Grace!” He looked around to be sure the doctor was gone.

  “What? It’s true. You have all the strength in the world when it comes to sex.”

  She was right. He was Superman out of sheer, stubborn will when it came to making love to her.

  Cole finally relaxed. And smiled. And pulled her into his arms. “Grace.” He sighed. “Did you hear that? I can ride again.” He honestly hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that maybe… “My God,” he whispered into her pretty hair. “Did he really say that?”

  “He did. Should we go home and celebrate?”

  He blinked in shock and jerked upright. “Yes! We should, actually. Absolutely. I insist.”

  Laughing, she pulled him out of the office and down the hall. “You should probably call Easy first. Tell him to pack his bags for Mexico. My poor aunt will be so disappointed.”

  “I think Easy can wait awhile,” he murmured, thinking of exactly what he had planned when they got home. And what he had planned for the rest of his future.

  * * *

  GRACE FELT GIDDY. True joy coursed through her. Happiness for Cole, separate from anything she wanted for herself. It was a strange sensation. Something she wasn’t used to. But she soaked it up, hoping that she could keep a little part of it tucked away forever.

  Cole was going to be fine. Thank God.

  He drove home quickly, his mouth occasionally revealing his happiness in a smile. She wasn’t sure if he was happy about the prognosis or just anticipating what would happen when they got home, but it didn’t matter. Either way, she was about to have her hands on him. His body made her feel safe, somehow. Even when nothing else could.

  But right now, she had every reason to feel safe. She had come back to Jackson, and much to her surprise, her new friends had seemed relieved. Even Rayleen had hugged her, though she’d then proceeded to bitch about her apartment building being contaminated with estrogen. Admittedly, Grace had tried to avoid Jenny, at first, and even Eve. But Eve was hard to avoid when she’d immediately hired Grace back at the studio.

  Things were okay. And now they were better.

  She spread her fingers over Cole’s thigh, loving the way his muscles flexed as he braked and accelerated. When he moved her hand away, she laughed. “Hey!”

  “I’m too excited already,” he growled.

  Within seconds, he was pulling into the driveway of the Stud Farm, and Grace was grinning in anticipation. But when she hopped out of the truck, Cole grabbed her hand and led her toward the saloon.

  “Hey! I thought we were going to celebrate.”

  “Oh, we will. But I thought I saw Easy’s truck in the parking lot.”

  “Right. Okay. I’ll be patient, then.”

  He grinned like a little boy. “You need to be patient, huh? It’s hard to wait?”

  “Shut up,” she grumbled, embarrassed by how much she needed him. All the time. Every day. But it wasn’t a scary need, somehow. It wasn’t weakness. She couldn’t understand it, but she was trying not to be afraid.

  Just as they reached the saloon porch, Cole stopped. He turned to her, and Grace felt a sudden jolt of alarm at the serious set of his mouth.

  “Cole…” she started. But then he smiled.

  “Happy birthday, Grace.”

  “What?” she whispered.

  “Happy birthday. I thought we’d need this to cheer us up. But I guess it’ll just be something better.”

  “What?” she repeated, watching as his hand reached for the door. “How did you know it was my birthday?” She hadn’t told him. No one even knew her birthday except…

  “Merry told me,” he said. And then he opened the door, and there she was. Merry.

  And Eve and Jenny and everyone else, all of them yelling, “Happy birthday!” as she stared in shock.

  “Merry?” she said, not believing her eyes. How could Merry be here, when…

  “Happy birthday,” Cole whispered into her ear. And then Merry was running toward her, arms spread, and Grace couldn’t take it all in. There were a dozen people around her. Maybe more. Rayleen and Easy and Shane and Cole and…Merry.

  Tears sprang to her eyes, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

  “What are you doing here?” she whispered.

  Merry squeezed her tighter. “Cole flew me up to surprise you. Happy birthday, Grace.”

  “Happy birthday!” the whole room shouted again.

  These people who’d only known her for a month. These people who had no reason to care.

  “I love you,” Merry whispered into her ear.

  Grace shook her head just as she always did. But something was different now. Something wasn’t so scary, and she somehow found the courage to say it back. “I love you, too,” she said quietly. Joy filled her up as she spoke the words, so she said them again, into Merry’s ear, but this time…this time she was looking into Cole’s eyes.

  His gaze fell. His cheeks flushed. And he smiled. And Grace knew it was the truth. She loved him. And she was finally home.

  * * * * *

  Keep reading for an excerpt of Real Men Will by Victoria Dahl!

  For more fun and steamy contemporary romance, don’t miss the Donovan Family series from USA TODAY bestselling author Victoria Dahl. Available now in ebook format!

  Good Girls Don’t

  Bad Boys Do

  Real Men Will

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  CHAPTER ONE

  BETH CANTRELL HADN’T thought about him in almost six months.

  Well, that wasn’t exactly true.

  Beth cleared her throat and shifted, glancing around as if everyone in the brewery could feel the lie she was
telling herself.

  The truth was that she’d thought about Jamie Donovan plenty of times. She’d remembered the hour or two they’d shared, she’d fantasized about what might’ve happened if she’d stayed the whole night in that hotel room.

  But in the past six months, she’d never once let herself think about seeing him again. She hadn’t considered calling him or making contact in any way. That had been their agreement, after all. One night. One time. No strings attached and no expectations. She’d had to abide by that, because she would never have let herself meet him in that hotel room otherwise.

  He wasn’t her type. He wasn’t part of her social circle. And she definitely wasn’t part of his. Beth Cantrell managed the White Orchid, the premiere erotic boutique in Boulder. Her friends were her employees: women she loved like sisters. They were bold and powerful and sexually progressive. And they dated people like themselves: tattooed, pierced, educated and cool. Absolutely cool, even when they’d only reached the pinnacle of cool by being so incredibly nerdy that they actually circled around to cool again.

  Beth, on the other hand, wasn’t cool. She was just…Beth. But that was okay, because she was their manager and they loved her, and they did their best to pull her into their sphere. They fixed her up with guys. Friends of theirs. Men they knew and liked. Men who were cool and hip and progressive. And not one of those guys had ever pushed her buttons the way Jamie had.

  She still flushed when she thought about him in his tidy polo shirt and khaki pants. His wide white smile and broad shoulders. He’d looked even better in a business suit. The perfect vision of middle-class preppy beauty. And Beth had wanted him so much it hurt.

  They’d been strangers, despite this small town. But in that hotel room, with the promise that it would happen only once…the isolation of the act had made it safe. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

  And right in the middle of the first good date she’d had in years.

  “Hey,” her date said as he waved a hand in front of her face. “You okay?” He smiled, taking any sting from the words.