Gravity (Free Falling)

by St. Pierre, Raven

  “Just finished eating, and before that I was in the attic painting,” I replied.

  “Oh,” he said quietly, deep in thought. There was a long silence while he worked up to his next question. “Is your dad still cool about us going to the dance together tomorrow?” He paused for a second. “Or is he trippin’ now?”

  I laughed a little. “He seems to be okay with it. It didn’t come up at dinner, so I think so.”

  Antonio seemed to relax a little. “Good ‘cause I thought he might change his mind once the day got closer. I can’t believe this is the first time he’s let you go with a date!” Antonio replied.

  “Yeah, for some strange reason he really seems to like you,” I said jokingly.

  Antonio laughed. “So maybe he won’t mind if I stick around awhile.”

  I was grinning again and I found myself unable to contain the butterflies.

  “Even if he did mind, I wouldn’t let you go,” I assured him.

  “You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” His last statement rang in my ears for a moment as both of us held the phone in silence. His intensity caught me a little off guard, but I didn’t mind it – I suppose I even welcomed it. Antonio was smart, handsome, ambitious…….perfect. I couldn’t have picked a better guy if I tried.

  We were off the phone a few minutes later and I took a quick shower before going to bed. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was only 9:22 – a little early for bed on a Friday night, but I needed to be well-rested for tomorrow so I didn’t fight it. My thoughts were more peaceful that night than they had been earlier that day. More…….resolute. With one phone call Antonio had cured my temporary mental lapse and I was back in touch with reality. This AJ kid was no one special to me and I don’t even know why I allowed myself to think about him at all. Despite my questionable behavior earlier, the fog had cleared and I was back on track. I decided to deliver my original message to Megan tomorrow at the dance. Case closed.

  *****

  Dang….. 4:59 pm already. Time had definitely gotten away from me. In one short hour everyone would be meeting up at my house to wait for the limo that was set to arrive at approximately 6:30. I snatched my dress from the closet and slung it across the bed next to the shoe box containing my perfectly matched blue heels. Fumbling a little, I retrieved my new purse from the shopping bag and laid it next to the dress also. Perfect. I was a little worried that it might be a shade off because I’d forgotten the shoes at home when I left the house in a hurry to get to my hair appointment. Fortunately, it was an exact match.

  Quickly tying my hair up in my purple scarf, I threw on a shower cap and hopped in the shower. The hot water was soothing, so I allowed myself to relax for the first time since I’d gotten up that morning. Letting myself get so tense about everything made my head hurt. My thoughts ran rampant and I thought again about Daddy worrying for nothing the whole time I was at the dance; about what Antonio would think of me in my dress. Would AJ like it too? The thought invaded my head suddenly without my permission and this frustrated me tremendously. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about him? I fought the insane notion back to the depths of my mind where it belonged. It needed to be so far back that it would be surrounded by so many other thoughts that eventually, it would get lost in the chaos. Picturing the imaginary battle in my head– a battle that I had to convince myself I’d won – I stood still for a minute with my eyes closed.

  Minutes passed before I finally turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, letting my feet rest on the cool tile floor. With my hand, I wiped the condensation from the mirror and stared at my own reflection for a few seconds. I removed the shower cap, setting it down on the counter top, and brushed my teeth again. After towel drying my skin, I slipped into my bathrobe to do my make-up before putting on my dress.

  Finished. I carefully looked over the details of my face making sure that everything was exactly the way I wanted it. When I was satisfied, I removed my scarf and let my hair fall. I’d decided to go with a semi up-do. The top was gathered in a bundle of curls while the back cascaded down just past my shoulder blades. Just to be extra cautious, I put on my perfume before sliding into my dress. Next, I put on my shoes and jewelry and then walked over to my full length mirror on the back of my closet door to evaluate the finished product. I was pleased and imagined that Antonio would be too. The blue satin dress I’d fallen in love with the moment I laid eyes on it, was a strapless number that hugged my figure to about halfway down my thighs before fanning out down to my ankles, reminiscent of a mermaid. My chest was a little more exposed than I remembered it being when I first tried the dress on in the store, but it wasn’t budging as I frantically struggled to pull it up. I could only hope that my father wouldn’t flip out. He hadn’t seen it yet and my plan was to wait until the day of the dance, so he’d have no choice but to let me wear it. Mom agreed that this was the best way.

  Glancing at the mirror one last time, I grabbed my purse from the bed and headed down the stairs. The doorbell rang before I could reach the bottom step. Daddy got to the door before I could because it was difficult to maneuver in my dress. It almost seemed like he was racing me there, which I wouldn’t doubt for one second. He was probably hoping it would be Antonio so he could pull him aside to threaten him or something before entrusting me to him for the remainder of the evening.

  He got his wish; it was Antonio. When daddy stepped aside to let him in, I braced myself against the stair rail as I suddenly felt my knees giving way in response to my nervousness. Antonio looked every bit as handsome as I’d imagined he would. Reminding myself to breathe, I took in every detail of him as he began to walk toward me.

  “You look beautiful,” he said in his low baritone, trying not to let his eyes drift down from my face with my father watching him so closely.

  “You look good too”, I replied. He was cautious as he greeted me with only a hug, fully aware of Daddy’s presence behind him. Over Antonio’s shoulder, my father motioned for me to pull my dress up with an angry scowl fixed on his face. When Antonio released me from his embrace, I tugged at the dress again, trying to comply with my father’s request. Antonio was staring at me when I looked up and I could only stand it for a few seconds before I had to turn away. My head dropped, my eyes focused on my shoes, and I tried to hold my composure. Being near him made the butterflies even more intense than they were when we spoke over the phone.

  The doorbell rang again, startling me just a little. Leslie and Terrence walked through the door hand-in-hand. Before I could even say ‘Hi’, she was snapping pictures with the camera her parents got her for her birthday. One by one my friends arrived until finally everyone was there. By the time we finished taking pictures and showing off our fancy attire, the limo was already waiting and we were on our way.

  We pulled up in front of the school and waited for the driver to come around and open the door. All three guys got out first and stepped aside to help their dates. I took Antonio’s hand and didn’t attempt to stand upright until my right foot was firmly planted on the ground, fearing that I’d fall and embarrass myself in front of him. These shoes were much higher than any others I ever dared to put on. I looked forward to that time of the night where most of the girl’s feet were hurting from all the dancing and they resorted to going barefoot. It happened every year, but for now I had to flaunt my shoes as gracefully as possible.

  Walking at Antonio’s side, we made our way toward the building. I couldn’t help but to feel proud to be with him. There would definitely be a few girls here tonight that’d have to beat back their feelings of jealousy, but none of them mattered. As far as I was concerned there wouldn’t be anyone here tonight but Antonio and I.

  We used the entrance adjacent to the gym, so we were almost walking right into the dance. We all made our way over to a table, wanting to lay claim to seats before it got too crowded. There weren’t quite enough people there yet for it to be a party, so we sat down and talked amongst ourselves, taking in all th
e decorations that had gone up overnight.

  By the time 8:15 rolled around, the room was dense with people bouncing around eagerly to the blaring music. It was too loud to really hold a conversation unless you didn’t mind yelling it. I hadn’t danced yet; it proved harder than I’d originally thought to maneuver in my mermaid-like dress. I made a mental note of this dilemma to recall it when shopping for prom.

  As I sat watching all my friends and classmates having the time of their lives, I started to feel bad about ruining Antonio’s night. He was usually the life of the party and here he was stuck at a table with Ariel, the little mermaid, missing all the fun. When the song ended, it gave me a few seconds to speak to him. “I feel so bad. You don’t have to sit here with me all night. I’ll be fine if you wanna go be with your friends or something.” That was all I could get out before the next song started. We smiled at each other realizing that communicating this way wasn’t going to work. I retrieved my cell phone from my purse and texted him.

  “U don’t have 2 sit here with me. Go have fun,” I insisted.

  “I’m not leavin’ u by urself.”

  “Really, Antonio, I’ll feel so bad if u sit here all night. Plz go. 4 me?”

  He hesitated for a minute before granting my request. “Ok, but I’ll B Right Back.”

  I nodded in response just before he got up from his seat and kissed my cheek. He disappeared into the crowd and I settled back in my seat, trying not to be too disappointed in the way things were turning out. After all, I was here with Antonio and all my friends and I looked great in spite of how I now felt. Unfortunately, looking great sometimes comes at a high price.

  It was too hard to focus on any particular face with the multicolored lights swirling around the room. Every face was a blur……….except one. I sighed in defeat and didn’t bother to stop myself from staring. It was AJ. As I watched him, I found myself being drawn in. The thin, red-headed, girl that he was dancing with was all over him. I’d seen her before, but didn’t know her by name. It didn’t look like they were romantically involved or anything, but they couldn’t have been strangers to one another. She’d hiked her dress up on both sides and dropped it like it was hot. As she stood back up, she made sure that there was full body contact. I couldn’t believe that none of the chaperones had put a stop to it. It was like watching a car crash; turning away wasn’t an option. AJ seemed less into it than the red-head was, but he didn’t stop her. The next thing I know, this chick was bent over in front of him carrying on like she was trying to make a baby. She was trying to break into the industry of soft porn right in the middle of the school gym. I rolled my eyes, but continued to watch of course. Does he like girls like that? I began to scold myself again for even caring enough to ask the question.

  I felt like a peeping-Tom watching them, and when the song ended I realized I’d peeped just a little too long. AJ and I locked eyes when he looked up and caught me staring. Hoping that it wasn’t too late to turn my head and play it off, I pretended to be watching someone on the other side of the room. I waited a few seconds before turning back to see if he’d bought it. Of course he didn’t. We locked eyes again and I was surprised to see that he was smiling at me now. It would have been rude of me not to smile back, right? Right. So, I smiled shyly, not quite understanding why he was smiling. In that instant he shifted his weight and took a step toward the table where I was seated, leaving the red haired girl behind him on the dance floor with a look of frustration on her face.

  Air rushed into my lungs as I took a deep breath and tried to ignore how good he looked in his suit. He had somehow still managed to pull off his carefully careless style in formal attire too. He wore a tie, but it hung loosely around his neck. The top button of his shirt was undone and he hadn’t bothered to tuck it into his pants. His hair was as it had been the day before when I’d seen him and he was wearing the intoxicating fragrance that I’d tried to forget. What is this boy trying to do to me?

  As he approached me, his eyes never left my face. The steady pace of his feet matched my heartbeat as he inched toward me. I sighed deeply, releasing all the air from my lungs and didn’t breathe again until it was my turn to speak.

  “Hey, Samantha,” he said politely.

  “Hey…..Anthony.” My voice was shaky as I spoke.

  “Just call me A. J…..That’s what all my friends call me.” Does he consider us to be friends now?

  “Ok, but only if you call me Sam.”

  “Sure, if you prefer it.” He didn’t say anything for a few seconds as he indiscreetly let his eyes skim over my figure before continuing. Feeling a little self-conscious, I tried to cover my chest again which made him smile. Just then, the music started back up and I admittedly felt a little disappointed that our short lived conversation would have to end. Assuming that he was getting ready to walk away, I gasped when he leaned down, hovering over me – both hands planted on the table at either side of me. The heat rolling off of his body hit me square in the face and I swear I could hear his heart beating over the music…..or maybe I could feel it. At that second, I was so gone that I don’t think I really cared whether or not Antonio walked up.

  “You look…..amazing,” AJ whispered into my ear, his breath grazing my skin. The hairs on my arms stood on end. There was another short pause while I closed my eyes and inhaled the air around him like a fiend taking a hit, and then he spoke again. “Your man’s crazy to leave you sitting here alone with guys like me in the room.” Before I could fully grasp what he was saying, he pulled away and shot me another smile, put his hands in his pockets, then turned and walked away. He glanced back once over his shoulder, still smiling, and then he disappeared into the crowd.

  My mouth gaped open. Did I just imagine that? Before I could reach a plausible conclusion, Antonio was walking back toward the table. I had to pull myself together before he could take in my expression and guess that something was off. He leaned down to kiss my cheek again before taking his seat and reaching for my hand. He looked out to assess the crowd and I was grateful for the few seconds I had before he would turn his eyes back toward me. My thoughts were a jumble of shock, excitement, guilt, and uncertainty. I was sure that my expression was similar to that of a bewildered deer suddenly caught in the headlights of some reckless driver. I wrangled in the emotion and tried to gather my scattered thoughts before Antonio turned back to face me. He didn’t leave my side again for the remainder of the dance and didn’t complain one time about having to sit there. In fact, he seemed content just to be with me. We continued to hold hands and occasionally shared a laugh at the expense of the various fashion victims who crossed our path. I momentarily forgot about AJ’s perplexing behavior as I sat beside Antonio enjoying the evening.

  By 10:30 the dance was nearly over. It was time for the Homecoming King and Queen to be crowned; I ignored most of the production. It was all overrated to me and I was distracted by a mixture of my aimless thoughts and the feeling of hunger that was beginning to creep up on me. The Queen was some random girl – probably a cheerleader or something like usual. After a loud applause and a few whistles from the crowd, she was crowned and then it was time to announce the king. And of course….it was A. J. I didn’t see that one coming. I’d been so self-absorbed these past few weeks that I didn’t even recall hearing his name mentioned for Homecoming Court. Then again, I could have heard and didn’t think twice about it. I’d only become undeniably aware of his existence a short time ago.

  AJ took to the makeshift stage that was about 10 yards away from the table where we were seated. The crowd erupted in a loud roar as he was crowned. A bunch of guys were yelling and making a noise that could only be described as barking and random girls were screaming his name at the top of their lungs like he was a celebrity or something. It became apparent that I wasn’t the only one who felt the strange pull toward him. The faintest hint of jealousy jolted me. He smiled graciously and headed for the steps after being crowned. The crowd was still going wild as he gave them
all a general nod of appreciation. But then, without warning, he turned in my direction and stared as if there was no one else in the room. I felt my body temperature increase about ten degrees as we exchanged a lingering gaze while Antonio observed. I wanted to turn away, I swear I did, but somehow AJ had me frozen in place and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. A couple seconds later his smile grew, and to make our momentary connection more obvious to Antonio, AJ winked at me before turning away and freeing me from the trancelike state. Just like that, I had control over my body again and instantly felt uncomfortable.

  Before I could get myself together, Antonio turned to me and asked, “What was that about?”

  I scrambled for an excuse. “He’s just a boy in one of my classes.” Antonio didn’t press for any further explanation although I could feel his eyes on me long after he’d stopped talking.

  It was a quarter to eleven and the gym was starting to clear out. Antonio sat silently, probably still thinking about the incident. But then again, so was I. He didn’t look upset, just lost in thought. We were only waiting for Megan to return from the bathroom and then we too would be on our way. I sat fidgeting as I tried to figure out what Antonio had made of AJ’s gesture. Did he know that it was innocent? Was it really innocent? Did he think that I was hiding something from him and that there was a deeper meaning behind the behavior? Or was he simply as confused as I was? I had to render the verdict inconclusive as I saw Megan approaching our group. We exited and walked out to our waiting limo and headed to the restaurant.

  Dinner didn’t help clear up any of my questions about Antonio’s thoughts. He was behaving unnervingly normal. The only indication that he’d ever possibly been suspicious was his silence as we waited in the gym at the end of the dance. He was chivalrous for the remainder of the evening, never wavering. I eventually began to settle down and decided that maybe he hadn’t been suspicious at all.

  When we reached my house everyone said their goodbyes and got into their cars to head home. Antonio stood outside with me as I waited for the last car to back out of the driveway. When we were alone, he turned to me and we locked eyes. Without saying a word, he leaned in slowly and kissed me on my lips. He lingered there for a long while before pulling away. If he’d been unsure of anything tonight, he’d obviously dismissed it. I was grateful for the trust he’d invested in me. That made me want to try that much harder to ensure that I continued to deserve it.