When It Rains...

by Angie Daniels

  Even though Honey had only just completed her first appointment of the morning, the salon already smelled of hair care products. After quickly straighteningher workstation, she untied her smock and placed it on the counter. “I’ll be in my office if you need me,” she called over her shoulder, then headed to the back of the shop, stopping along the way to retrieve a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

  Once inside her private quarters, Honey leaned back in her chair and brought the mug to her lips, savoring the Colombian blend Candy always prepared to perfection.Her receptionist was a lifesaver. Although young, Candy was outgoing and extremely eager to learn, which was just what the salon needed as its first level of contact.

  Tuesdays were slow at the shop. Her staff typically didn’t schedule appointments until early afternoon, but Honey took care of the majority of her customers in the morning, allowing ample time to catch up on paperwork and prepare weekly checks for her employees. Peering over the rim of her mug, she looked down at the totals for the previous month and smiled. Love Your Hair had done well since she’d opened its doors four years ago.

  Love Your Hair was an upscale salon in the heart of St. Louis that Honey had designed to make her customers feel right at home. The décor was pink, with burgundy carpeting in the waiting room that held four conversationallyarranged love seats. There was a stereo for her customers’ listening pleasure, and a large console televisionfully equipped with cable. At the back of the salon, across the pink and white tiles, were six workstationsoccupied by some of the best hairstylists in the city. While Honey also had a chair on the floor, it was booked by appointment only; the majority of her day was spent in her private office.

  She was proud of her establishment. In fact, the shop had been doing so well she had an appointment at her bank next week to inquire about purchasing the vacantsuite next door. She wanted to expand her business by adding six additional workstations and a kitchen.

  Flipping through her schedule for the week, Honey realized she still needed to order a cake for a baby shower she was hosting over the weekend. She removed the yellow pages from her lower desk drawer and hummed while thumbing through the bakery section.Her best friend, Sasha Andrews, was scheduled to give birth to her first child in March.

  Honey was thrilled to become a godmother, and was especially pleased that her longtime friend had finally found happiness. She leaned back in her chair and sipped her coffee, remembering the day Terraine Andrewswalked into Sasha’s life.

  Sasha, a fashion model, had met the CEO of Diva Designs with the hope that if she modeled his designs, she could persuade him to purchase several of her own unique creations. Honey chuckled and shook her head as she remembered the power struggle between the two—Terraine’s pursuit, and Sasha’s denial of her feelings.Eventually Sasha had followed her heart and given in.

  Tapping her knuckles on the desk, Honey felt a twinge of sadness as she remembered Terraine’s brother, Jay. She hadn’t seen him since the wedding, where she had served as Sasha’s maid of honor and Jay was the best man. She remembered how fine he’d looked in a tuxedo tailor-made to fit his rugged body. Honey had hoped that maybe they’d have a chance to talk. But as he took her arm and they proceeded down the aisle, Jay’s actionshad been extremely formal, his responses monosyllabic;no one would have ever guessed they had once shared a powerful bond.

  Honey sighed, remembering the way things had been. Once, Jay had been her close friend. Her ace. Her confidant. Staring up at the floral wallpaper bordering her office, she knew why he’d behaved as he did. You brought that shit on yourself. As much as she wished things could be different, she knew in her heart they couldn’t be.

  Her private line rang, intruding upon her thoughts. She reached for the receiver and brought it to her ear. In a professional voice she answered, “Honey speaking.”

  “Hey, baby, what’s up?” the familiar masculine voice greeted her.

  Closing her eyes as his words churned her stomach, Honey realized the time had come. Damn! Had it been two weeks? Where the hell had the time gone? “Hello, Lavell.”

  Lavell didn’t miss the disappointed tone of her voice. “You don’t sound too happy to hear from me.”

  Honey quickly tried to correct the mistake of allowingher feelings to surface. This time when she spoke, her voice was friendly as she blurted, “Oh no, you just caught me deep in thought.”

  Pleased to hear the thaw in her voice, Lavell let out a hearty breath. “Good. I was starting to think you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

  Honey said, “No, not at all,” then pressed her lips together.Lavell was the son of one of her many faithful customers. After he’d brought his grandmother to severalappointments, and initiating idle chatter, Honey had agreed to have dinner with him. During the past two weeks, Lavell had done everything under the sun to sweep her off her feet: more dinners, movies, flowers,and chocolate. Tired of her family constantly on her back about bringing a date, Honey had even taken him to her mother’s house for dinner last Sunday.

  The problem hadn’t arisen until that evening after Lavell had dropped her off at home. Instead of accepting her usual brief kiss on the cheek, he’d pulled her into his arms and kissed her with passion, parting her lips and seeking her with his tongue before whispering against her flushed cheek, “I want to make love to you.”

  Once upon a time, those words would have caused her to fall apart, but now, as she was learning to come to terms with her past, she had managed to remain calm. She hadn’t called him since.

  “How about a quiet candlelit dinner at my house tomorrownight?” he suggested in a deep seductive voice that came out as a very bad imitation of Barry White.

  Panic rose in Honey’s chest. Visiting a man’s home was a dangerous game, one where there were no rules. This was a game she wasn’t about to play. “I can’t,” she began, then quickly added, “I already have plans.”

  “How about Saturday night?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  After a brief silence Lavell said, “Then you tell me when.”

  How about never? she thought, but didn’t feel nearly brave enough to say the words aloud. It already had been two weeks. She never dated anyone longer than that. And damn if she was going to start now.

  Honey sighed inwardly and imagined a picture of Lavell sitting at the law firm where he was a partner. He probably had both feet propped up on the end of his executive desk. Sporting twists, Lavell was rawboned, with a handful of freckles the same color as his amber eyes, sprinkled across a broad nose. More than likely he was wearing one of his numerous psychedelic ties that looked as if they were cutting off his damn air supply.He was preppy, clean-cut, and so damned professional.When Honey once suggested a game of NBA Jams on her PlayStation, he’d looked at her as if she had lost her damn mind. Talk about a fuckin’ bore!

  She sighed with regret. Their brief relationship had finally come full circle. There was no point in putting it off any longer; it was time to part ways. Honey closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “Lavell, it’s been a wonderful two weeks, but I think things are moving too fast.”

  His laugh was indulgent. “I don’t think we could possibly move any slower.”

  She rolled her eyes at his comical remark and tried again. “I’m not lookin’ for a man in my life.”

  “Honey, I didn’t ask you to marry me,” he said with a chuckle. “I just want to get to know you better.”

  Her fingers tightened around the telephone. “I don’t want to rush into anything.”

  Lavell gave a frustrated sigh at that. “Okay, I can deal with that. But what’s that got to do with dinner at my place?”

  She groaned inwardly, then asked herself why she continued to subject herself to the same ole’ bullshit. “I’m not ready for sex,” she said. “And that’s where we’re heading.”

  There was a long silence before he said, “I’m not gonna lie. I’m feelin’ you. Nothing would please me more than to lick your sexy body fr
om head to toe.” He paused a moment, as though contemplating his next question, then asked, “Be straight-up with me, Honey. Am I wasting my time and money?”

  Ain’t that a bitch! Just like a man to remind a woman of all that he’d done for her so she’d feel obligatedto do something for him. All the men she encountereddid it, and for the same reason. To get some ass. “I guess you’re wasting your time,” she admitted, biting back a note of resentment. A strained silence fell between them. For her it was fuckin’ déjà vu, repeatedlyreliving the same scenario. From past experience, she was familiar with how awkward the situation was for a man when he was being rejected.

  With a note of irritation, Lavell asked, “So what are you saying?”

  “Can’t we just be friends?” Honey asked, knowing the answer to that question.

  She heard him click his tongue, then say, “I want to be more than friends. I want to make you my woman. Hopefully more.”

  Honey was quiet as she tried to think of an answer that would soften the blow, but failed.

  Breaking the prolonged silence, Lavell cleared his throat, then said, “Yeah, whatever. I’ll be in touch.”

  “Lavell, I’m sorry—” But all she heard was a dial tone.

  Honey replaced the phone on the cradle, then dropped her chin to her palm and pressed her lips together.When was this shit going to end? Why, when it rained in her life, did it have to be a damn thunderstorm?Why couldn’t it drizzle every now and then? She was drowning and didn’t know how to swim to the surface. Where was her life preserver? It had to be out there somewhere. Only she didn’t have faith that she would find it in time.

  Her eyes flickered, then closed while she contemplatedher next move.

  Honey indulged in a high volume of dating, but alwayson her terms. Men occasionally got her attention, but never more than that. She never allowed anyone to get close, and ended relationships long before they became complicated. Staring down, she rubbed her palms together as she stood. With a sigh she remembered severalmonths ago, when one man had come painfully close to making her think twice about her frigid behavior. Suddenly struggling against emotions she couldn’t control,Honey saw Jay’s fine ass invading her senses as clearly as that warm summer night he’d appeared on her doorstep.

  Jay stood about six-three, with a sexy-ass body. He had the most gorgeous cocoa brown eyes. When Jay looked at her he made her stomach flutter, and his touch made her panties wet. Although she tried to deny the attraction, she’d always known it was only a matter of time before something kicked off between them. They had spent too much time together. Even though they had mutually agreed to maintain a platonic relationship,ultimately it became almost impossible.

  Jay had somehow become a major part of her life. She had gotten used to seeing him daily for lunch, or even for an evening game of Scrabble. She was drawn to his sense of humor and wisdom. He was caring and adventurous.Honey began to think of him as she fell asleep at night, and he was the first thing on her mind when she rose in the morning. She became dependent on him, and had gotten used to his always being there. But it all came to a halt when Jay decided to take their relationship a step further.

  Her lips tingled as she remembered the day she found him standing outside her window. She’d invited him inside, and within seconds, Jay had scooped her into his arms.

  “What are you doing?” Honey asked with wide-eyedsurprise as she realized what was about to happen. She had mere seconds to stop him if she dared. But she didn’t. She trembled a little but didn’t dare move away.

  Jay reached up and curled his fingers around her delicate neck, stroking her jaw with his thumb. “What I should have done a long time ago,” he answered in a voice husky with desire. “You’re driving me crazy.”

  Dipping his head low, he gently slid his tongue across her mouth, sending juices to puddle between her thighs. Her small frame molded perfectly against his. Her robe gaped open, and he felt her warm flesh through her satin gown. Placing his hands inside her robe, he allowed them to roam up her smooth thigh all the way to the middle of her back. Honey gasped against his mouth. Tilting her head back, he teased her skin across her jaw and along her collarbone.

  Abandoning all resistance in her desperation, Honey reached for him, enjoying how wonderful it felt being touched by him as he took her mouth in a hungry kiss that paralyzed her. In her wildest dreams, she had imagined this happening between them, but she had never expectedto act upon her feelings. Delight flooded through her as he coaxed her lips apart and sought refuge for his moist tongue. As she opened her mouth wider, he deepenedthe kiss. The warmth of his arms was so embracing.Honey had found herself relaxing against him, her body tingling from the contact. His lips were persuasive,weakening her senses and confusing her mind....

  Honey quickly shook off the intrusive memory and raised the coffee mug to her lips. Taking one last sip, she swallowed the large lump in her throat. So many months had passed since she’d last seen Jay. She had tried desperately to return to life as she’d known it, but still fought daily to curb a passion she’d never expected to experience. No other man had ever come close to making her feel the way Jay had made her feel. He had awakened desires within her soul she never knew existed,making her want things she was incapable of having.

  Honey closed her eyes and tried again to calm the battle that continued to rage inside her. Since Jay’s departure,she had resumed her frigid behavior. But this time things were different. With Jay no longer in her life, she found herself increasingly lonely. She tried to curb her loneliness by burying herself in work; thus far, she had been unsuccessful. Jay continued to fill her thoughts, and there was nothing she could do to erase them.

  Rubbing a palm across her blue knit sweater, Honey reminded herself that she couldn’t afford to indulge in useless memories. She knew no matter how much she missed Jay, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. She had panicked that night and asked him to get the hell out of her house, all because she had been so fuckin’ afraid, afraid that if she gave in to her desires,she’d be taking the chance of his discovering her secret.

  Honey blew out a quick breath. “I don’t need this shit.” Brushing her thoughts aside, she picked up the phone and dialed the bakery to order the cake for Sasha’s baby shower.

  Exiting the hospital’s double doors, Jay headed across the parking lot through a maze of cars until he located his gray Lexus. After stowing his large overstuffed duffel bag in the trunk, he climbed into the car and defrosted the windows before driving to the nearesthighway.

  Jay’s eyes were on the road, but his thoughts were a million miles away as he sped down the long stretch of interstate. Working the knotted muscles at the back of his neck, he leaned back and again tried to relax against the black leather seat. He found his efforts a fuckin’ waste of time as his brain replayed the events of the last several weeks.

  After Kendra’s visit, Jay intended to take a few days to think things through and then speak with her as soon as he returned from Memphis. However, what had started out as a three-day trip had somehow turned into four long weeks.

  As a private investigator, Jay had spent the last month working for a large insurance company trying to uncover a scam artist. By the time he figured out who the hell was responsible, a gun had already been pointed at his head. Had he not managed to remain calm and duck when he did, the bullet that had been fired in panic would now be lodged in his brain instead of a painting on a wall. A flesh wound on his right templewould be a constant reminder of how close he’d come to dying. Jay had spent the last three nights awakening in a cold sweat after watching his life flash before his eyes.

  The temperature in the car had finally climbed to a comfortable level, and Jay reached down to adjust the heat. Leaning against the headrest, he began to chew the inside of his lower lip as thoughts raced through his mind. Not once in his fifteen-year career had he ever come so close to death. Now he found himself wonderingif the shit was really worth it.

  Jay had ente
red private investigation because he thoroughly enjoyed it. A former police officer, he’d grown tired of the constraints of the law and had started his own investigation and security firm. His expertisecame to be in high demand as he solved cases that had baffled even the St. Louis Police Department. Jay had dedicated the last five years to his business. His life had been one big adventure after another. But was it worth it? The long hours, the aliases, the danger? Jay scowled. He just wasn’t so sure anymore. He kept wondering, if he had died three days ago, what impact would he have made on the world? Would he have been missed? Would he have been remembered?

  He kept coming up with the same answer. Hell naw.

  Reaching for a pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket, Jay lit one and took a long drag. He had a lot to be thankful for. The Lord had spared his life and given him a chance to make shit right, and he planned to do just that. First on his agenda was Kendra.

  He could no longer make excuses as to why he’d gone with her that night. Excuses like he’d had too much to drink, or that he felt rejected and needed someone to make him feel good about himself. The simple truth was he’d been horny and his dick hard. He also didn’t have an excuse as to why he hadn’t once bothered to pick up the damn phone to call her during the last four weeks. No matter what excuses he made, it didn’t make a damn bit of difference. They simply didn’t change the fact that he was trying to run away from his problems. Again.

  Jay swore as he slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. A beauty pageant’s worth of women had shared his bed over the years. He loved sex and considered himself a master of the art, but he’d always been careful. Never desiring marriage or children, he couldn’t afford to be careless. Yet somehow he’d managedto have unprotected sex and was now faced with the consequences. Jay just couldn’t understand it. What he did know was that it was time to quit running and do the right thing. As much as Kendra wanted him to marry her, he couldn’t. Not as long as he loved someoneelse. The free-spirited playboy he once was had somehow vanished.