“Each person finds their way,” she says over her shoulder, not turning but not walking away either. “The paths are many but the destination is singular, to achieve balance and to be in control.”
“Why do they all look so different?” I don’t understand my own abilities fully but I know some ways seem better than others just in the way they look to me. Griogar, who I am going to be forced to learn from, does something that leaves bones around his. I have no idea what, but it can’t be good.
She turns at last with a half-smile on her face. “Lynx, my dear Lynx,” she says. “It is the path to redemption or the path to hell. I can show you different methods of achieving balance, but maybe you are the one who will achieve peace.”
“What peace? How can you have a peace with a monster inside you that wants to destroy everything it sees? I almost killed the seamstress and it didn’t stop the hunger!” My throat tightens with emotions that I can’t express in words. The monster slumbers in me as it so often does when she and I are together if her attention is on me, another thing I don’t understand.
“That is the goal,” she replies. “To find serenity, to find peace between yourself and the beast. Through all the years only a handful have succeeded yet still some try, most will fail but the hope remains.”
I stare at her and shake my head. Wolf won’t speak and she speaks in riddles, I’m sick of it. I just want answers.
“Damn it Athene,” I keep my voice level despite the anger building inside me that is starting to awaken the beast. “Can you just talk straight to me? Just once?”
“What would you know Lynx?” she asks me after a long pause.
There it is, what do I want to know? Everything? I don’t think the offer is that open. I start to say one thing, then another thought crowds my mind, I move my mouth trying to put all the questions into one single one, to find one solid thing I can cling to as a certainty.
“Why did Griogar say Wolf is a grand experiment?” The question falls out before I can contemplate it further; I could have asked anything but my heart spoke before my mind. I want to know what they are doing to my Wolf. I want him back; maybe I can earn my way back into his graces. I catch the very slight surprise that Athene allows to show, it is not the question she expected so maybe I chose well after all.
She turns and starts walking up the stairs. “Come Lynx, we need refreshment to discuss this.”
I follow her up the stairs to the library room. She sits down in one of the comfy chairs and I sit across from her as Jeff appears with a silver tray, decanter, and crystal glasses. He pours for each of us serving Athene first and then he leaves. She holds the glass easily, swirling it gently before sipping it delicately. She stares at me all the while. I can tell she is openly debating what she will say next. I wait, pushing myself to patience; if she is going to talk it will be on her terms.
“Even vampires have myths,” she says at last.
I arch an eyebrow but nod that I heard her.
“Creation myths, myths about our condition, about the nature of the universe and the world around us, no different than any human culture.” She sips slowly and her eyes seem to be looking into the distant past.
“If vampires live so long why don’t you just ask the oldest ones how they were created?” I ask, it seems pretty logical to me. Wolf is over two hundred years old and he is considered young.
Athene’s smile is wan. “Can you remember what you had for breakfast last year on this day?” she queries.
I frown not understanding the question. “No, why?”
“I can’t either,” she says simply. “Can you remember what you were doing when you were ten years old?”
“Well, sort of, I know where I was and what kind of things were going on so I could figure out that much at least.”
“How about what you were doing five hundred years ago? Or a thousand years? The oldest among us, at times, we sleep. The years get to be long and tedious, the world changes and it makes no sense or you just get tired. So you sleep for a decade or two, maybe ten. When we sleep, we dream, the dreams are often more real than our memories, they become part of our memories but it is very hard to put the memories that are real and the dream memories into their proper place.”
“A thousand years? Seriously?”
She just smiles. “So there is no actual record but there are stories. There are myths. One of these is the fabled state of serenity where you achieve peace between you and the beast. A vampire who achieves this becomes so balanced that she no longer need fear the sun. She can walk among the mortals without fear for no longer will they fear him nor need he fear Apollo’s chariot. That is the goal those who seek it, whether they want to admit it or not, hope to achieve. To become one of the fabled Day Walkers.”
I blink. I can’t really wrap my mind around the entire concept for a moment. Day Walkers? That is the dumbest name I have ever heard of, no cool and mysterious Latin or ancient tongue, Day Walkers? Yay, originality. I resist the urge to chuckle, not wanting to lose the moment with her.
“What does this have to do with Wolf?”
“He believes there is a way to achieve the state by . . . well for lack of a better term going out the bottom.”
“Bottom of what?”
“Most vampires, despite the evil inside us still want to be human. Most paths of control involve slowly getting better at remaining human and being more humane. By forcing ourselves to be better than we are we hope to achieve peace and ultimate control. As you can probably see, this involves ‘giving up some power’ in that you can’t go around slaughtering and killing. It’s not what the monster wants and the best most can do is to cover it over with a thin social veneer. Wolf believes he can collect enough power through any means necessary that he can achieve balance while the monster inside is still allowed full reign.”
This is starting to make sense. Wolf is powerful, what was it Griogar had said? Oh, I remember! “The Forbidden Fruit? So is that when you feed on another vampire?”
“Not just feed,” her expression turns black. “When you feed and don’t stop, when you steal their power, you devour their soul, blocking it from the Elysian Fields and take their power for your own.”
My eyes widen slowly. “You can do that?”
She nods.
“Wolf has?”
She nods again. “He has gained power in this manner, it is the darkest path he embraces the beast and lives with it. Searching the darkest paths to become something new, more than he is now, half man, half beast.”
“Damn,” I mutter.
“I don’t know what way will be yours Lynx,” she says. “Wolf will not take you down his path, that has already caused him too much pain. Griogar’s way is dark as well, but it might be what works for you. You will have to find your way, we can only show you what has worked for each of us. If you cannot find your way in time,” she looks at me as she speaks for the first time. “I will be forced to end you. I will not let you become that which killed you.”
An odd mix of fear and anger pulses through me but I push it all aside. I wouldn’t want to be a mindless monster like that, killing indiscriminately. That monster was willing to kill women and children with no remorse, with no thought except the killing. I steel my resolve and resist the shudder that trembles up my spine.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “Please, don’t let me be that.”
She has given me a lot to think about, some insight into what Wolf is doing and why he won’t have me by his side. A glimmer of an idea starts to form; maybe there is a way I can bring him back. Maybe I can save Wolf but first I have to find a way to control myself.
DOMINANCE
Wolf
I LOOK HER UP AND DOWN FEELING THE EMPTY PLACE in my chest where a heart would be in a man lift but it is a ghost of a feeling. The stronger response by far is lust, the beast leaps at the sight of her. She is tall¸ six foot one with broad shoulders and her nose is slightly flat. Her mouth is wide and inviting with full lips
, her eyes are deep brown; she has shoulder length black hair that curls slightly. Her breasts jut prominently out, showing a lot of caramel skin which serves to accent the curve of her side down to her perfect hips that round out and back down to her long legs. She is wearing a tight leather outfit that pushes her breasts up, no loose pieces, all form fitting to accent and prevent being in the way of any movement. She looks at me longingly, or at least that is what I hope I see in her eyes.
“Hello Luna,” I reply. So much in two words, does she know? I can’t show weakness to her, I can’t give in to desire, I can’t let her back in.
Fuck it, I want her. I close the distance between us in an instant and she doesn’t move, which is acceptance enough for me. Grabbing her in my arms I press my lips against hers, reaching one arm around her waist and the other around her neck. My hand drifts down, her hips press against me as she returns the kiss, her tongue probing against my lips. I open mine and our tongues meet, dancing and wrestling one with the other. Almost I can believe that it hasn’t been decades since we were last together. I open my eyes and look into hers; I see the pain there mixed with desire. I pull back from the kiss, I should not do this.
The beast lunges forward having needs of its own and I feel her beast answering, desire floods me and my cock throbs with need. I jerk my head towards the woods, she hesitates for an instant but her desire is pulsing out in waves, the scent of lust is strong on the air and she runs. We race for the cave, side by side. I feel free, alive, the wind rushing against my face as we dodge through the trees. Reflex is the only thing that keeps either of us from taking a tree limb in the face. She moves ahead of me and I lag for a moment just to thrill in the view of her running free. The moon shines down through the trees casting its light over the leaf strewn floor. She leaps over a fallen tree, impossibly far for a human, lands on the far side of a creek and hits the ground running. I mimic the move noting that my wolves are pacing us, the pack falls in around their Alpha and their Beta, the hunt is on and she leads us.
She pauses sniffing at the air, she looks over her shoulder at me as I close the short distance between us and her smile is dazzling, her face reflects the light of the moon and my beast howls, singing out desire and lust. Her smile widens, she looks down and I see the trail she is following, a deer is not far away as the prints are fresh.
She turns and leads again, we run silent now the pack struggling to keep up with us. The chase is not long, she stops and I know we are not far from the river which is just past the next few trees. The pack comes up silently around us, their tongues hanging out panting with their effort, their eyes drift from her to me. She nods and I motion, the pack surges through the trees and takes their dinner where the deer had stopped at the river for a drink. It is over in moments and they are feeding, I reach out my arm to place it around her as we watch the pack feed. Almost it is like she never left but there is a distance between us, a chasm that has not been breached. I look at it, but then look away. Some things cannot be fixed easily.
I turn to face her, my hand traces the line of her jaw, cupping her perfect face. I nod back towards the cave and again I sense her hesitation but she is gone in a blink. I can’t stop the smile as I take off after her, gathering pieces of her outfit as I run through the woods. When I reach the cave, moments behind her, she is not in sight. Assuming she is inside already I enter the cave, letting my jacket slide off as I walk, unbuckling my gun belt which drops to the ground with a clunk. There, she is waiting for me in the deepest part, her back to me. My eyes trace the curve of her ass up to her shoulders which are covered by her hair. She stands perfectly still, an Amazon statue in her perfection. I shed my clothes as I close with her, pressing against her, wrapping my arms around her to cover her full breasts, pressing myself against her rear. I nuzzle her neck and my arousal slides between her cheeks. She presses back against me moving her hips so she creates an up down motion against me that pushes my desire even higher.
She turns into me her breasts pressing against my chest, my hands lower below her backside and I start to lift her up, I want to take her but she stops my arms before I can finish the move. She steps back and over to the pallet where I sleep. I watch her move uncertain of what she intends but hoping she is not stopping me like this. She lies back on the pallet and spreads her legs towards me giving me full view of her womanhood. My erection jumps with desire as one of her hands with long fingers traces down the sides of her tight stomach and along the outside of her sex then down her thigh. She smiles, her eyes half lidded as her hand continues to move and explore. I watch, desire building, the pressure in my balls tightens, begging for release. Her free hand makes its way to her breasts which she kneads as her other hand works its way around her sex, down her thighs and back up.
I struggle against the beast’s desire to take her and the urge for release, holding back my impulses. I move slowly towards her dropping to my knees as she continues without stopping. Moving forward I aim for her, ready to take her, needing her more than words and unable to resist any longer. I lower my weight placing my arms to either side of her and press my need up to her but she stops me with both her hands on my hips. I look at her questioningly, she shakes her head gently side to side her arms pulling down on my hips. I relax and let her push me down. Her hands rise to tangle in my hair and she pulls my face against her as she thrusts her hips up. The scent of her is intoxicating, musky and sweet. I trace her slit with my tongue probing her folds. My fangs protrude as the beast struggles to fill its needs and she moans at the combined sensations of my tongue and my fangs dragging across her sweet lips. I work slowly, controlling my own desire, slamming the beast into its cage hard. I feel the tension building in her as she moans louder, bucks against me harder until at last her legs spasm and crush against my head. I hold still letting her pleasure pulse, feeling it where my mouth rests.
The tension relaxes in her as she pulls my hair to bring me up. I rise to her, pressing my mouth against hers at last sliding into her with the sweet sensation of relief as I enter her, her warmth and moisture close around me like a glove taking me in. I pause, regaining control, unwilling to lose it yet. Slowly I pump in then out, easing my way forward as she swallows me with ease. She moans softly as I thrust deeper then I lose all semblance of control, pumping furiously her cries pulling me on, increasing my desire as she moans with each thrust in. I feel it building, the tension mounting higher and higher until no other thought exists but burying myself inside of her thrusting up into her until there is no more, never wanting it to end as the edge approaches; a cliff over which I throw myself into the nothingness. Release hits and my dick throbs as shivers race up and down my spine. I collapse on top of her spent. She runs her fingers idly through my hair as she gently kisses my neck.
I roll off of her, resting my head on her arm and shoulder. She continues to play with my hair so I trace the lines of her with my fingers. The beast sleeps now with its hunger sated so I push off what I know must happen soon. There has to be a reason she is back just like there was a reason she left. I’m not good for her, I can’t let her stay with me. Emptiness swells inside me, I pull it over like a blanket moving to rise from the pallet. Her hands cling to me but she doesn’t really try to stop me or it would have been a struggle to actually get up. She gets up and walks over to the pile of clothes; I see her smile as she pushes her former belongings around with her foot.
“You’ve added to what I left,” she says softly.
“Huh,” I grunt. I was hoping you’d come back.
She finds some clothing to put on and I do the same until at last we stand staring at each other across a space that is much bigger than the cave actually contains. Silence sits heavily between us neither of us wanting to breach its sacred nature. Once broken words will destroy what we just had leaving nothing but old scars in its wake. I look away putting my attention on fastening my gun belt.
“Why?” I ask without looking up from what my hands are doing. There, it’s broken, le
t the pain begin.
“I missed you,” she says softly.
I grunt.
“And I heard about Billy.”
My hands stop, I will them to move but they refuse to obey. “Who?” Who told her? Who would gain from her coming back? What are they trying to distract me from?
“Does it matter who told me?”
I look at her, anger settling heavily in my stomach. She’s not a fool, someone is using her and she knows it. She knows damn well what effect she has on me. I frown, feeling it form into a scowl, unable to hold back the anger and frustration. I arch an eyebrow at her.
“It wasn’t Athene, though she has been writing to me of her visions. How is she?”
“Broken, same. Appears fine.” I know she is trying to change the subject and she knows it won’t work. I can tell she is stalling by watching her, her eyes are not meeting mine again, it’s not a post intercourse awkwardness, she is trying to hold my attention away from something. “Who?” I pose the question again.
“I miss the old days Wolf,” she says finally looking at me. “When it was you and I, our pack, we raised those kids. Before we . . .” She trails off as I growl.
“No!” I retort. We do not talk about that, I won’t go back there, nothing can change this, I’m doing what has to be done. Athene’s visions foresaw it, one of us has to be this person and I won’t let it be her. She tried to follow me but I won’t have that. “This is not your path.”
She looks at me angry, I feel the beast rising in her wanting to unleash its fury on me and my own answers the call but I hold it down, control it. Having sated it so fully with the gang members and sex it is easy to maintain my control over it. She is furious with me but she knows I’m right.
Luna walks over to the chest opening it up and rummaging through it setting aside the few random mementos I keep from my past until she finds her bow hidden at the bottom. She stands up holding it, tests its flex, nods appreciatively that I have kept it in good order, then she bends it easily stringing it.
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