From Admiration to Love: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Sophia King

  Ranelagh Gardens was far larger than Elizabeth had expected. Exhibitions rolled out everywhere. The evening was frosty and there were several stalls selling hot chocolate and roasted chestnuts. Mr Darcy led them to one and made sure they were all served.

  “I would not have thought you would dare consume anything from a stall, Mr Darcy,” Elizabeth teased. She blew on her hot chocolate to cool it. “Are you sure you should risk eating something that might come from anywhere?”

  “You are very severe on me, Miss Bennet,” said Darcy. “And while I know you take great delight in considering yourself a fine judge of character, I must say that in this case, you are wrong. I often bring my sister here, and we enjoy nothing more than carrying our drinks while we walk around and observe all there is to see.”

  They looked across at Miss Darcy. She had wandered a little away to listen to a band of musicians performing a piece of music on the frosty grass. She glanced across at them and waved a hand, hardly tearing her attention away from the performance.

  “I shall follow you,” she said.

  “Please do not get lost,” said Darcy. “If we cannot find one another, we shall meet back here. Do you hear me, Georgie?”

  Georgiana nodded vaguely, her attention already reclaimed by the music. Darcy and Elizabeth walked on together.

  “You seem a most indulgent brother,” Elizabeth remarked. “I see a different side to you when you are with Miss Darcy.”

  “We all of us have different aspects of our character,” said Darcy. “I like to think that how I am when I am with Georgie is my true self. But even then, I am not entirely at ease.”

  Elizabeth glanced up at him. His eyes were troubled.

  “My mother died when Georgie was born. In fact, in giving birth to her. And my own excellent father died eight years ago. And so, I became the parent of an eight year old girl. I worry constantly about whether or not I am doing the right thing by her. I have hired a female companion, Mrs Annesely, but a paid servant does not compare to a female relative who loves and cares for her as family.”

  “And Lady Catherine de Bourgh does not answer this description?” asked Elizabeth with a smile.

  Darcy laughed aloud. Elizabeth looked at him in surprise. She had never seen such a spontaneous reaction from him before. It made him look so much younger than his true age of eight and twenty.

  “If you had ever met my aunt, you would not say such a thing,” he said. “I respect my aunt as I should, but I do not consider her an ideal role model for a young lady. She has dominated her own daughter too severely and I would not wish to see Georgie become like a shadow. She has little confidence as it is.”

  Elizabeth took a sip of her hot chocolate. Around them, the crowds cheered and laughed. The air was filled with life and excitement, but she hardly noticed it, so focused was she on understanding the quiet man by her side.

  “May I ask why she is so shy?” she asked. “Miss Darcy has every advantage the world can give. She has wealth and position. A brother who loves her dearly and from what I have observed, would do anything for her. She is excessively pretty, and has a bright, secure future ahead of her. I cannot figure it out at all.”

  Darcy smiled. “I think a large part of it has to do with our natural dispositions,” he said. “My sister and I are both rather shy. I hope to help her recover from it a little before she is out in society as I fear she shall make the same blunders I have and continuously give offence everywhere she goes from failing to catch the tone of conversation.”

  “Are you very shy then, Mr Darcy?” said Elizabeth with curiosity.

  “Do you not think me shy? You know I am uncomfortable around those I do not know well.”

  “Yes, but as you have said, it comes across in a way that gives offence,” she said. “Forgive me for speaking so plainly, but you do give the impression that you consider yourself superior to everyone around you.”

  “Perhaps I am guarded,” he admitted. “I am prone to think rather well of myself and think less of those I perceive as beneath me. I have learned the error of judging those from a different sphere and assuming it somehow makes them less worthy people. It has been a humiliating lesson to learn, but one I am grateful for none the less. I have been learning it more and more over the previous few days.”

  Elizabeth felt his eyes on her, and looked around in confusion. She could only suppose he still felt ashamed of his words at Netherfield. Well, at least some good could come of his abusing her relatives if it made him a more humble man. And in spite of her less than charitable feelings towards him, she grudgingly admitted that it was a rare man who could admit he was wrong and seek to improve himself. Many men would have resented the guilt they felt, and would have blamed her for it. Darcy had more integrity than she gave him credit for.

  They stopped to observe a group of skaters on the frozen pond. The men and women twirled one another around. The women wore daring costumes of tight trousers and Elizabeth admired the freedom of movement they had as they leaped around the glassy surface. After a few moments of watching them in silence, she spoke again.

  “When I asked you about your sister, you said her shyness was in part due to your dispositions,” she said. “Is there another cause to it?”

  Darcy took so long to answer that she thought he had not heard her. She glanced up at him. His jaw was tight and his eyes darker than usual. He once again looked like the arrogant, cold man she knew from Meryton. But when he spoke, his voice was sad.

  “I cannot say too much about it,” he said.

  “Of course,” said Elizabeth quickly. “Forgive me, I do not like to pry.”

  “I do not feel you are prying,” he said. He gave her a quick smile, which faded. “My sister has recently suffered from a rather painful situation. It was not many weeks before I came to Netherfield. I did not like to leave her to join Bingley. I was most anxious for her while I was there.”

  “I am very sorry to hear that,” said Elizabeth. “Miss Darcy is such a sweet girl. It is hard to endure the thought of her being in pain.”

  “Thank you,” he said. “You are very kind.”

  They stayed for some moments, watching the skaters. Finally, Darcy smiled and nodded towards the lake.

  “Would you like to try it?”

  Elizabeth stared at him in amazement. “I think you are teasing me, Mr Darcy.”

  “Why would I tease you?” He pointed towards the opposite side. A gentleman was leading out a nervous looking lady onto the lake. Her dress had been gathered a little higher to prevent her from being caught in the blades. She clung to the gentleman’s hand, shrieking with excitement as she took her first unsteady glides onto the pond.

  Elizabeth turned to Darcy, her eyes shining. “I should love it more than anything.”

  “You would?” he gave her a challenging smile. “You would not be afraid?”

  Elizabeth gave him a withering look. “Do you really suppose I would be?” she asked archly.

  “Not at all,” said Darcy. “I have a feeling you shall put me to shame. Come, let us find Georgiana and see if she wishes to join us.”

  Chapter 21

  The musical performance had just ended and Georgiana had been leaving to find them when they returned to her.

  “Skating,” she said nervously. “I don’t know. Is it not terribly dangerous?”

  Elizabeth squeezed her gloved hand. “How would you like it if I go first? Once you have seen how it can be, myself and your brother can skate with you between us.”

  Georgiana nervously agreed and they made their way to the pond.

  In spite of her bravado, Elizabeth was far more nervous than she pretended. The skates looked so thin, she did not see how they could support her. And they looked wickedly sharp. If she should fall and a passing skater glided over her fingers, she should return to Longbourn a much reduced woman.

  But she was determined to show Mr Darcy that she was not afraid. She allowed him to escort her onto the ice and she wobbled dan
gerously. He was patient with her and stayed by her side, gripping her fingers tightly. She worked her fingers free and took the first few tentative glides on her own. Her heart raced and a huge smile filled her face. It was as if she were flying. The frosty air whipped across her cheeks, heightening her colour and she whooped with glee as she twirled in a little circle. She came to a stop to smile at Mr Darcy.

  He was watching her as if he had never seen her before. His eyes were fixed on her and the depth of feeling she saw there filled her with confusion. Why did he look at her like that? It reminded her of - of a stronger version of the look in Bingley’s eyes when he looked at Jane. But it could not be possible, could it? Mr Darcy in love with her after the things he had said about her? How could it be true?

  She skated towards him with a self-conscious laugh. “Now you have seen me skate, Mr Darcy, it is my turn to see you.” She gave him a playful smile. “Do not be afraid. I shall skate over and catch you if you fall.”

  “There shall be no need for that if you are with me,” he declared. Before she knew what he was about, he had gripped her hand and pulled her along with him. Her surprised gasp soon turned to laughter as they skated around and around the parameter of the pond, daring one another to skate faster. Elizabeth had never known such exhilaration in all her life. She was so caught up the the sensation that she failed to notice another group of skaters coming towards them. She was going too fast to stop. She was going to crash into them.

  Mr Darcy skidded sideways on his skates and pulled her against his chest to bring them both to a gentle halt. They leaned against one another, catching their breaths and laughing.

  “That was exciting,” said Elizabeth.

  “Yes,” agreed Darcy. There was a thickness about his voice she had never heard before. She raised her face to look at him. He gazed down at her, and his eyes burned with an emotion that flustered and confused her. She blushed and with a small laugh, she gently disentangled herself.

  “I shall ask Miss Darcy if she would like to join us,” she suggested. Mr Darcy nodded over her head towards the edge of the pond where Georgiana waited for them. She was fixated on another group of musicians who had started a performance near the lake. Elizabeth had been dimly aware of the music spilling across the pond, but had been too excited to pay attention.

  “I know my sister, and I doubt she remembers our existence right now. I think we can skate on without interrupting her.”

  Elizabeth both wished to bolt from the ice, and stay by his side. She was frazzled by these new feelings arising in her. He reached out his strong, warm hand and she placed her own fingers inside. They skated around, and Elizabeth, caught up in the fun of the moment, made him twirl her around in circles until once again, they caught one another, laughing and breathless.

  “Oh, Mr Darcy. I cannot remember when I have had so much fun. Thank you for inviting me,” she said, her eyes sparkling.

  “I am glad. I thought you might like it here, but I was not sure,” he said.

  Elizabeth glanced up at him through her eyelashes, and his breath caught in his throat. Did she not realise the effect she had on him when she fixed those fine eyes on him?

  “That is very thoughtful of you,” she said softly. “And it is not at all the sort of place I imagined you would like to frequent. I believed you would prefer a gentleman’s club where you could voice your opinions and say something to astonish the whole room.” Her eyes smiled as she spoke, and he knew she was teasing him. He smiled at her.

  “I have told you that you sometimes misjudge people,” he said. “Is it possible you might have misjudged me?”

  Elizabeth looked around as she considered what to say. The truth was, she did not know what to make of him, and the more time she spent with him, the more confused she felt about her initial opinion. And the way he behaved towards her increased her confusion.

  “It is possible,” she admitted slowly. “It is always possible to misjudge someone and allow previous convictions to colour your interactions with a person.” She was thinking aloud now, and she blushed and smiled. “But admit it - you are a member of a gentleman’s club, are you not? And you do like to dazzle them with your opinions.”

  Darcy laughed. “Of course I do,” he said. “Brooks’s would be the poorer if they did not have me there to correct and guide them.”

  He could laugh at himself. It was an ability Elizabeth valued but doubted Darcy possessed. He was becoming more and more interesting the longer she spent with him. But she could not help but wonder what his intentions were towards her. Pleasing though he might be, he was too proud to make such a lowly woman his wife.

  “Come,” he said, taking her hand again. He knew she did not need it, but he couldn’t resist the thrill that ran through him when he touched her. He wished they did not wear gloves so he could feel her skin against his. Fortunately, she did not object. He did not dare hope she enjoyed it as much as he did, but it was a small start. “All this exercise has made me hungry. Let us go to the supper pavilion.”

  The supper was a hearty affair of thick, savoury stews and soups.

  “They normally serve light food in summer,” said Darcy. “I was afraid we would have to fight the winter chill on thin meats and salads.”

  Elizabeth looked around with approval. “It is so beautiful,” she said. “Like a fairytale.” She gestured towards the coloured Arabic lanterns that filled the trees lighting the otherwise dark woods with a riot of colour. “It reminds me of a Midsummer Night’s Dream,” she said.

  “My brother said you are a great reader, Miss Bennet,” said Georgiana. “I wish you could see our library at Pemberley. I make poor use of it, I’m afraid. When I have my music, I forget all else. Whenever Fitzwilliam is in London, he buys an enormous pile of books.”

  “I think your brother is being overgenerous again,” said Elizabeth with a smile at Mr Darcy. “I would not call myself a great reader. But I do love books, and must always have some near me to be satisfied. I am almost finished the collection I brought with me. I shall have to search for new reading material soon.”

  “That should be no difficulty,” said Darcy. “I am visiting Hatchards tomorrow. I can call for you on the way, and you can find something there. It is one of the finest book sellers in London. A book-lovers dream.”

  Elizabeth had heard of Hatchards, and had always planned to visit it, but had never before been in London long enough to avail of it.

  “I should not like to put you out of your way,” she said, reluctantly. Her heart pounded at the thought of visiting the bookstore.

  “You shall not put me out of my way,” said Darcy. “It is good for the horses to get exercise. They do not get as much as they would like in winter. We shall call for you tomorrow morning, and afterwards, we could visit Gunther’s for ice-cream.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes lit up, but then her heart sank with disappointment. “I am afraid I cannot,” she said. “I have promised my sister Lydia that we shall go for tea together tomorrow afternoon. I fear I do not spend enough time with her. Seeing how good you are towards your own sister is making me feel sadly lacking.”

  She was flattered by how sincerely disappointed Darcy and his sister looked. “The following day, then?” he suggested. “If you are not otherwise engaged, my sister and I would be honoured if you would spend the day with us.”

  “Oh yes,” exclaimed Georgiana with excitement. “I should love that more than anything, Miss Bennet.”

  “Well, how could I refuse,” said Elizabeth with a laugh. “Yes, I would be delighted to spend the day with you.”

  Darcy smiled at her as if he had won something precious.

  Chapter 22

  The following afternoon, Elizabeth climbed the stairs to Lydia’s chamber. “Lydia,” she called, knocking on the door. “Surely, you are not still abed. Have you forgotten about our plans for tea?”

  She listened at the door. She could hear nothing inside the room. Frowning, she gently pushed the door open, expecting
to see the sleeping bundle of her sister tucked up under the bed clothes.

  The bed was a jumble of untidy bed clothes, but most definitely empty.

  Elizabeth turned and ran back down the stairs to alert her aunt. Her heart pounded. Where had Lydia got to? She had told no-one of her plans to go out.

  Just as she turned down the hall to find her family, the door opened, and Lydia stepped in, bringing a blast of cold air with her. She hesitated when she saw Elizabeth.

  “Lizzy,” she said. “There you are. See, here I am, all ready to go to tea with you.”

  Elizabeth sighed with relief. “Where on earth where you?” she asked. “I thought you were still asleep. I got a dreadful fright when I saw you were not there.”

  Lydia laughed. “Oh, I was awake quite early,” she said. “And I felt like a walk. I do not walk here as often as I do at home, and I felt the lack. I am sorry if I frightened you, but as you see, there was no need.”

  Elizabeth could not argue with her. She nodded. “Well, if you are ready, so am I.”

  As they walked towards the Strand, Lydia kept up a steady stream of chatter. “Do you see those gentlemen over there? How handsome they are. That is what I love about London. There are so many opportunities for flirting. I must have danced with more men since arriving here than I have in my whole life in Meryton. I must write and tell Kitty. She will be green with envy. And how was Mr Darcy, Lizzy? Did he open his mouth at all in the Gardens, or did you dine in silence? It must be nice to be rich and not concern yourself with pleasing anyone. I should like to be rich, wouldn’t you? I would do exactly what I pleased and tell anyone who did not like it to go to the devil. And bonnets…I should buy ever so many bonnets. And I would see officers and know they all desired me, and then I should…”

  Elizabeth’s thoughts drifted away from the baffling flow of Lydia’s chatter and returned as it had done all morning to the perplexing Mr Darcy. She was sure by now that he liked her, and she could not help but be flattered by the attentions of such a man. To have someone like him fall in love with her without her doing anything to encourage his attention was a boost indeed.