The Surgeon’s Secrets

by Michelle Love

  “Fine,” Dad says with a huff. “Get on with it, girl.”

  The words are right there, wanting to be set free. My mind is shrieking at me not to do it. It will hurt my father when I hurl accusations at him and no one ever wants to hurt their father.

  After a long moment of me not saying a word, only looking out the window and thinking I should just go. Nic’s hand gives mine a squeeze. “I think she’d like to have an apology, Greenwell.”

  “For?” my father asks as he looks at me.

  I hold my breath as anger starts to build inside of me. Nic senses it and takes me by the chin. “You can do this. For yourself, you need to do it. Not for anyone else. Only for you. You can do it. Open your mouth and let the words flow.”

  Parting my lips, I look into his dark eyes and wonder how I got so damn lucky. Then I look at my father. “Dad, you are the only one to blame for everything that happened to me. You are the one who got me addicted to drugs. I then had an alcohol problem because of that. I was taken as a man’s slave because I was approached by him and made decisions with a cluttered and muddled mind thanks to those drugs. I’ve yet to hear an apology for that.”

  My father looks from me to Nic and back to me. “Did he tell you to do this to me?”

  “My mind told me to do this to you. Have you been so wrapped up in your whores to notice I am a shell of my former self?” I ask him, making his face go red.

  “You have no idea about my private life, young lady. Watch how you speak to me,” he says then gets up. “I don’t have to endure this. I’m not at fault here. I was only trying to protect you. The monster is the man whose hand you’re holding. He brought you into a world I had to take you away from. And you have stayed out of that world, thanks to me. So, you will not get an apology from me.”

  Letting Nic’s hand go, I walk up behind my father who thinks he’s leaving. “Turn around.”

  He stops and does as I’ve asked but not in the way I meant him to. “You do not tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.”

  “I am done with that. You took me out of all of the world, Dad. You really took me out of it. All I want is to be alone now. I can’t stand anything or anyone. Mostly, I can’t stand myself. And you did that to me.”

  “You did some pretty awful things in your life, Tasha. I think you need some time away from the world to figure that out. You can only change once you’ve paid the price for those things you did,” he tells me.

  “And what about you?” I ask. “Stringing that woman along, making her live from hotel to hotel while telling her you’re on the verge of leaving Mom. For years, you’ve done that to her. And what about the other women?”

  “My personal affairs are none of your concern. Your mother and I handle our business,” he says. “I need to go.”

  “You can go. If you want to leave things like this. I’ve told you how I feel. If you don’t want to accept your responsibility, then that’s up to you. And as far as paying for my mistakes, I think I’ve done that. In spades.” I point to the door. “So, there you go. There it is. Walk away from me without uttering a word of remorse for what you did to me. I only wanted to hear you say you were sorry for the atrocities you pulled down on me. But I just found out, I don’t need it at all. Just speaking the words out loud to you are all I ever needed to do.”

  “Great for you,” he says as he walks around me. “Glad you took that weight off your back and put it on mine. Hope you feel like a real hero, Tasha.”

  “I do,” I say as I watch him go. “I really do. You can pull that weight off with a simple word. You can say it anytime you want and you will be absolved of that burden. Until you do, you will carry it the way I have been for over two years. Consider it my Christmas gift to you. You carry it around for a while. It’s one heavy bitch!”

  I step around him and open the door for him so he has to see me as he leaves. He doesn’t bother to look at me as he walks past me. I feel fine. I feel more than fine that he’s mad.

  “Good, be mad!” I call out after him. “I’ve been mad for a fucking long time. Your turn, Daddy!”

  I close the door and turn to find Nic looking at me with wide eyes. He claps his hands slowly. “Bravo! There’s that little spitfire I fell in love with.”

  With a big smile on my face, I walk up to him and grab him by the hand. “You’re coming with me.”

  He follows along behind me as I take him out of the living room, toward his bedroom. “Where are you taking me?”

  “To Heaven,” I say as I throw open the door and take him inside.

  “Finally!” he shouts then picks me up and carries me the rest of the way to the bed. “Now this is what I’m talking about!”

  I only pray this powerful feeling stays with me.

  NICHOLAI

  Two years of waiting made for three days and nights of making up for lost time. I’ve yet to let her leave the confines of the bedroom and bathroom. Making little trips to get us food and drinks from the kitchen have seen me right back in bed and pulling her back into my embrace.

  Placing a purple grape to her kiss-swollen lips, I tell her, “We’ll have to get out of bed today. It’s Christmas. Your pot roast is cooking with all the sides and I want us to get dressed up and spend our first real Christmas together. Last years was a bust.”

  “It was. So, you wash me and I’ll wash you and then we’ll get dressed. I’m as sore as I’ve ever been but it’s a great feeling,” she says as she rolls on top of me to get out of the bed.

  I hold her for a moment. “One more kiss.”

  She smiles and kisses the tip of my nose. “Any more than that and you know we’ll be stuck in bed for another hour or so.”

  “I do,” I say, then get up and carry her to the shower.

  The way her body feels as I move my soapy hands over her has me all types of excited but I tamp it down so I can get to the place I want to be. I’m happy as hell to have her back in my life. But I want that to be permanent.

  Before I realize it, my hands are on her round ass and I’m pushing her up against the warm tiles. My body is shaking as I wrap her legs around me. She’s panting with desire and her eyes are full of lust mixed with love.

  She groans as I fill her and moves with me as we work our bodies to please the other. “You have made me yours again, my prince,” she whispers in my ear then nips it, playfully.

  Kissing my way down her neck, I say, “You’ve made me yours too. But then again, I always have been.”

  I rock with her, making her grunt with each hard thrust. The warm air from her mouth hits the skin of my shoulder then her teeth graze over it. “I was a fool, but I’m not anymore.”

  “You were never a fool, Natasha,” I say, and ease my movements as I look into her eyes. “You were never a fool. Let me hear you say that.”

  “What was I then?” she asks me like there’s no other possible excuse.

  “You were hurt. You were battered and bruised. Never apologize for that. It was not your fault. I love you. I want us to move on with life. We don’t have to live in the past.” I kiss her and find her mouth supple.

  Her body is gyrating on mine and she’s giving me all she has to give. I give into her demands as we both find our release. Our breathing is loud and I love the way we sound together.

  She is my one true love and she always will be.

  NATASHA

  The Christmas lights are the only light in the living room. The dinner was delicious and we are both stuffed. Lying on our backs, we’re looking up at the tree after opening the presents we gave each other. “I used to do this with my cousins when we were little kids,” I say as we gaze up at the pretty colors as they filter through the real tree.

  “It’s very pretty under here,” he says then holds up my hand and looks at the large diamond ring he gave me when he asked me to marry him. “Yep, even pretty under green and red lights.” He kisses it, making me smile. “Thanks for saying yes so quickly and not making me sweat it out.”

&nbs
p; “Yeah, well, I made you sweat for over two years. I thought you could use a break.” I say with a laugh.

  “I did need one. So, off to Vegas we will go in a couple of weeks and then on to a three-month-long honeymoon,” he says. “And right to the baby-making.”

  We tossed my birth control pills in the trash right after I said yes to him. It’s official, we are getting married and starting a family. I did not see this coming for us at all.

  I can’t believe he stuck with me through everything I put him through. It did leave me with no doubt that when he says his vows I can take him for his word.

  My cell phone starts ringing and I sigh as I roll out from under the tree. Nic comes along too. “I’m going to find another piece of pumpkin pie.”

  I laugh as he goes off toward the kitchen and look at my phone to see it’s my father. “Hello.”

  “Hey, I just wanted you to know that I heard what you said the other day and I didn’t want this night to end without me saying this to you.”

  “What?” I say and have to hold my hand over my mouth so he doesn’t hear me crying already.

  “I am sorry, baby girl,” he says, sending me into full-blown meltdown.

  I melt into a puddle of tears on the sofa. “Thank you,” I manage to get out.

  “You deserve it. I’ll do all I can to make it up to you. I swear it,” he says.

  “Just be there for me, Dad. That’s all I ask. Nic and I are getting married.”

  “Good,” he says. “That man really does love you.”

  “He does and I love him,” I say, and find Nic coming into the room with a small plate of pie.

  “What happened to you?” he asks me as he puts the plate down and runs his arms around me.

  “Thank you, Dad. Bye and Merry Christmas.” I end the call and put the phone down, then wrap my arms around Nic. “This is the best Christmas ever.”

  “He must’ve told you he was sorry, huh?” he asks with a chuckle.

  “He did,” I say as I cry like a little baby. “I’m so happy.”

  “Yeah, you sound like it,” he says and laughs then picks me up and puts me on his lap. “And you told him our news?”

  “I did and he was nice about it. Maybe things will finally start going better. We could use things to go well, for a while anyway. I’m not asking for more than my fair share of happiness.”

  Taking the napkin he brought for the pie, he holds it to my nose. “Blow, princess. You’re a mess.”

  I blow my nose and laugh as he helps tidy me up. I’ve come to see things in a different light where he’s concerned. He likes to pick out my clothes sometimes but it’s because he likes the way certain things look on me.

  Feeling the same way, I pick out his clothes often too. It’s not as bad as I was making it out to be in the beginning. I thought he was thinking of me as his doll. His plaything. But when I started thinking about how good he looks in his jeans and asking him to wear them more often, he pointed that out to me.

  He can still be dominatin,g and in the bedroom I love it. But he watches himself about certain things and he’s quick to change the way he says things so he doesn’t offend me or make me feel small.

  I think the future with him will be bright. I believe he and I will learn from one another and grow as a couple. A team of two, who will have to worry over children together. A team who will make huge decisions together.

  “That’s better,” he says as he puts the used napkin away. “How do you feel?”

  “I feel great. You’re going to make an excellent father, you know,” I tell him then kiss his cheek.

  “With your help, I might be okay at it,” he says. “I haven’t had the best role model.”

  “Neither have I. We can do our research and try to be better parents than those we had, I suppose. History doesn’t have to repeat itself, you know,” I say and wiggle on his lap. “And speaking of kids, are you ready to hit the sack with your brand new fiancée?

  He rubs his hands together in front of me. “Oh, yeah. You can wear that negligee I gave you and I’ll bring the whipped cream.”

  “More food?” I say with a laugh as he gets up and carries me to the bedroom.

  “The whipped cream is for your consumption, baby, not mine.” We laugh all the way to the bedroom then he closes the door behind us.

  I think we might just work out after all.

  EPILOGUE

  NICHOLAI

  Natasha is rocking the baby, our fourth son, to sleep as I take the other three out for ice cream. Manhattan proved no easy place to raise a large family, so we moved.

  Walking down the paved street to the local shop that has everything anyone could ever need, I find my friend, Nic, riding his bicycle towards our home. His arms wave wildly, making my sons laugh. “Where are you going? I was coming to see you.”

  “To get ice cream,” Todd, our oldest says. “You come too!”

  Nic hops off the bike, dropping it on the side of the road. “I come too. Yes! How’s your beautiful momma,” he asks Taylor, our next to oldest.

  “Busy with Tyran. He’s a fussy baby today,” Taylor tells him.

  Todd’s only ten but he thinks he’s twenty or so. “How’s your sister, Nic. Does she miss me?” He laughs as he goads Nic.

  “She’s too old for you, Romeo,” he tells him as he messes up his dark, shaggy hair.

  The boys all run ahead of me, spending up some of their energy. “Your mother is making something that smells like Heaven for our dinner tonight. She asked if she could invite her family to our home for dinner. Can you believe she asked me that?” I ask him as we walk along behind the kids.

  “I cannot,” he says with a laugh. “What was she thinking?”

  “I know,” I say and punch him in the arm. “It’s not as if your family doesn’t eat nearly every night at our home. And we’d have it no other way. My wife loves your sisters and your mother.”

  “I never asked you, Nicholai. Why did you decide to come back to Greece to live?” he asks me with a grin. “New York has much more to do.”

  “That it does. But I kind of fell in love with this little town here. And when I brought Natasha for our honeymoon, she fell in love too. When the kids started to come and we knew we wanted more for them, it was a no-brainer. Move to Greece where everyone is made to feel like family.”

  “We’re happy to have your family here too. Your help in making our family’s wine has been invaluable. Momma’s frozen dinners are selling like we never thought they would. So many people have jobs at the factory you built to produce those things. You are well-loved here, Nicholai,” he tells me.

  The thing about living here with all of these people, is I know I’m well-loved here. But it never hurts to hear it!

  NATASHA

  The sounds of people laughing fill the air as Mamma’s family comes to our back yard. It’s where we get together almost every evening and feast on the food she and her daughters have prepared for us all to enjoy while listening to old tales and funny stories.

  I never get tired of hearing the things these people come up with. As I make my way out to the garden to join them, I find my husband with a little girl on his knee, playing trot-little-horsy with her.

  The baby in my arms is quickly grabbed up by one of Mamma’s many daughters and he’s whisked away by her as she coos at him. There is no shortage of babysitters here. And we are part of that circle as well.

  I take the empty seat next to Nic and run my hand over the little girl’s plump cheek. “Hi, Mena. Are you having fun with Uncle Nicholai?”

  She nods, sending her wild dark curls every which way. I laugh as I watch the boys running after several little girls, holding fireflies in their hands and chasing them, making them shriek.

  “You’ve raised some hellions there, my princess,” he tells me.

  “Don’t go blaming me now. I think tormenting girls is in their DNA,” I say with a laugh.

  He places Mena on the ground and pats her back, sending he
r on to play. “Tormenting, huh?” he says with a growl. “In our DNA, huh?”

  When he gets up, I start to laugh, nervously. “Nic, don’t you dare!”

  With one quick move, I’m tossed over his broad shoulder as he runs away with me into the house. It’s very quiet inside of the huge home. Everyone is outside and I giggle as he takes the stairs two at a time.

  “Nic, we can’t take off and leave our guests alone,” I say, as it’s obvious he has plans for me.

  “They’re not guests. They’re family. And they won’t miss us if we disappear for an hour or so,” he says as he kicks open our bedroom door.

  He tosses me on the bed and begins to pull my clothes off. “Okay, but only an hour, no longer,” I say as I hurry to push his pants down.

  “No longer than two hours, I promise,” he says, then rips my panties away and yanks me to the edge of the bed. “Come here woman. I have a craving only you can satisfy.”

  His eyes go dark as night as he descends upon me. Taking me to new heights as we can hear children laughing and people talking away as music plays in our backyard. The way it does nearly every night since we moved to this place we both fell in love with and call our home.

  It looks like we’ve found our happy ending after all.

  The End

  Maelstrőm

  By Michelle Love

  Young coffee-house owner Sarah Bailey has finally got over the mysterious disappearance of her husband two years previously and is looking forward to her new life as a single woman. She doesn’t count on meeting Isaac Quinn, billionaire tech magnet, who sets out to seduce the beautiful Sarah. Unable to resist the incredible connection between them, they soon begin a passionate and sensual relationship that soon becomes headline news in the gossip columns.

  Their happiness is marred when Sarah attracts a jealous stalker who sends her threats and Isaac begins to wonder if his fame and status has put the woman he is falling in love in terrible, terrible danger….