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Betting on the Muse

Page 9

by Charles Bukowski

“I thought it already was,” said Blinky.

  “YOU PRICK!”

  The girls turned on their heels and were gone into the night.

  Blinky walked up to Carl. He slid the Laker’s ticket at him.

  Carl reached for his wallet. Blinky waved him off and walked down to Barney the Hump.

  “Why’d you slap that girl, Barney?”

  “WHY? HEY, WHY, HUH? WHY, HUH?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “That whore stuck her finger in my ear!”

  “What’s the matter? You got a problem with that?”

  “I just don’t like girls who jerk me around,” Barney said with a grin.

  The phone rang again. Carl picked it up.

  “Lion’s Nuts…”

  “I’ll kill myself, that’s what I’ll do, I’LL KILL MYSELF!”

  “No chance,” said Carl and hung up.

  The hardest thing about life, he thought, was dealing with other people’s problems. You could be consumed with other people’s problems: they were always having car crashes or going mad or forgetting to pay the rent, or they left the butter out, fucked strangers, had insomnia, or—if they slept—had unhappy dreams. And they never considered the fact that you had your own miseries to unravel. Ah, well…

  Carl nodded Blinky in for another refill.

  “You gonna make the game?” Blinky asked.

  “Sure. I always arrive late to beat the traffic and leave early to beat the traffic.”

  “Why go at all?”

  “What do you want me to do? Sit around and listen to Chopin?”

  “Carl, those two girls were fine looking. How come you passed?”

  “I don’t know. Fucking to me is like shaving. I guess it’s something I have to do now and then but I feel like putting it off.”

  “You getting old?”

  “Maybe just wise. You know, fucking is nature’s idea.”

  “A good idea, I think.”

  “Yeah, but overrated.”

  “You’re putting me on…”

  Blinky moved off…

  It was maybe ten minutes later that the girls came back. They stood just inside the door. And in front of them stood their pimp. Big and dark. But he was different than most. He wasn’t one of those slick pimps. He wasn’t dressed to shine. He had on an old overcoat and heavy workman’s shoes. He was very big with a razor scar curling down the left side of his face. He looked like a good natured guy who could get very mean and he looked ready to get very mean.

  “Gentlemen, I hear my girls have been having some trouble in here.”

  Nobody answered.

  “It makes me unhappy when somebody makes one of my girls unhappy. And I don’t like them or me to be unhappy.”

  Blinky moved forward a bit, then stopped.

  “Listen, man, it was just a mistake. One of those things, you know.”

  “No, I don’t know.”

  The pimp just stood there.

  He stood there and stood there. It was very quiet. The girls waited behind the big guy. It was an agony of tension. Every small sound could be heard. The dripping of the bar faucet, the slight hum of the electric clock and the almost soothing sound of the street traffic.

  Then Mickey the Bookie, the drunkest of them all, sitting at bar center said, “Yeah. So shit. What ya gonna do?”

  The pimp moved at once. He moved in behind Mickey before Mickey could react. Mickey was working on a draft beer. His glass was half full. The pimp took the glass and spilled the contents on the bar.

  “What I’m going to do, I’m going to do. But the first thing YOU’RE going to do is lap that up!”

  “Kiss my ass,” Mickey said.

  Mickey had on a blue Dodger’s baseball cap. The pimp flipped it off, grabbed Mickey by the hair and then he had the razor at his throat.

  “Get it! Lap it up! Every last motherfucking drop! NOW!”

  He pushed Mickey’s head down and Mickey’s tongue came out. He began lapping at the bar.

  “Hey, man,” said Blinky, “you…”

  “SHUT UP!”

  The pimp held Mickey’s head down and Mickey’s tongue worked up the beer. Then he let him go. He stepped back. Mickey straightened up and lit a cigarette. The cigarette trembled in his mouth. He inhaled, then exhaled a pitiful curl of smoke.

  “You guys,” said the pimp, “got to learn that my ladies are real ladies and must be treated accordingly. They offer a service that keeps mankind contented and I don’t want them pushed around.”

  Carl turned on his stool.

  “All right, whatever we did, it’s done. Maybe it was wrong. It probably was. We’re sorry for that. But you’re making too much of it.”

  “I’ll decide what’s too much,” the pimp said. “I intend to see that this kind of shit doesn’t continue.”

  “So what are you going to do?” asked Carl, looking at the razor in his hand. “Kill somebody? You want somebody’s balls in a sack?”

  “I wouldn’t mind that, I might arrange that.”

  “Come on, Jason,” said Toni, “let’s get out of here. We don’t need any more. We don’t need this shit.”

  The pimp nodded her off.

  “I want to know which guy hit my woman. Now, whoever hit my woman, I want him to speak up.”

  There was silence.

  “You might as well speak up. All I gotta do is ask my woman.”

  There was more silence. Barney the Hump drained his drink and stood up.

  “I hit your whore. She stuck her finger in my ear and messed with me and if she did the same thing again I’d hit her again.”

  “Mister,” said the big pimp, “it’s evident your mother never taught you manners.”

  The pimp moved forward. Barney the Hump squared off in front of the crapper. Barney missed with a right as the pimp came in and they both crashed through the crapper door. It splintered like balsa wood. There was a scramble in the crapper and the pimp came out holding Barney in a death grip. He spun him once, then lifted him and threw him across the bar and into the bar mirror. The mirror shattered, bottles fell and smashed as Barney fell behind the bar and lay motionless, face down. Then a full quart of gin came sailing from somewhere and caught the pimp behind the ear. He staggered a moment, then righted himself.

  Then he roared, “I’LL GET ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!”

  Patrons were running out the front and out the back. The big pimp had his razor out and he sliced through the motion, sliced part of an ear from Mickey the Bookie. Suddenly the lights went out. The girls screamed, ran. There was the flash of a gunshot and the pimp dropped his razor and grabbed his belly.

  “Christ, you chickenshit…”

  Carl ran out the back way and into the alley and then out of there and west down 6th Street. People were just strolling along and he slowed to a fast walk. He circled the corner and went down to where his car was parked. He got in, kicked it over, looking back at the bar. Nobody was coming out of there. Then the pimp walked out. He looked powerful in the early night. He stood there a moment like a man looking for a cab. Then he fell forward not able to put out his hands to break the fall. His head hit first, bounced, then he was still. Carl drove off to the sound of an approaching siren.

  Carl unlocked the door, put the chain on and flicked on the light. Rissy was sitting on the couch. There was a half-a-fifth of scotch on the table and Rissy was drunk, hair down in her face. She was smoking a king-sized cigarette, a red glow on the end of it. She coughed.

  “Hey, where ya been, lover boy? Out fuckin’?”

  “Christ, what are you doing here?”

  “I wanna talk. I told you he hit me! I wanna talk!”

  Carl sat down, took a hit straight from the bottle.

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “Hey, that’s been our PROBLEM, lover boy! We never talked about things!”

  “We don’t have any problem. Our marriage is annulled.”

  Carl sat to her left. She reached out a hand, touched h
im, and as she did so she spilled some of her drink in her lap. The long glowing cigarette was in her mouth and she smiled around it.

  “Hey, what do you think? I’m NEVER going to let you go! It’s love! True love!”

  “Ah, shit,” said Carl. He lifted the fifth and had another hit.

  Rissy put her cigarette out in the ashtray, tossed off her drink, filled it again, lit another cigarette.

  “That son-of-a-bitch beat me up, can you imagine? That son-of-a-bitch BEAT me!”

  “What did you do? Were you screwing around?”

  She looked at him, hair still down in her face. Her speech was slurred. She sat with her cigarette in one hand, her drink in the other:

  “What’s THAT got to do with it? You don’t BEAT people! People have their rights! Don’t ya think?”

  Carl didn’t answer. He picked up a cigarette and the lighter. He bent over the lighter, flicked it. The flame was too full. As he lit the cigarette he burned his nose.

  “God damn it,” he said.

  Rissy reached out and touched him again.

  “Whatsa matter, honey?”

  Then she picked up the remote control, switched on the tv set and they both sat waiting for the screen to come to life.

  met a man on the street

  who said, “you’ve kept me going for two

  years, it’s really amazing to meet you.”

  “thank you,” I answered, “but who’s

  going to keep me going?”

  I’ve asked this question before and

  all I ever get back is a gentle

  smile.

  but it’s a good question.

  they have no notion that I may consider

  suicide several times a

  week.

  they’ve read some of my books

  and that’s enough for

  them.

  but I only write that stuff,

  I can’t read

  it.

  hell is now

  the sun was rather diminished,

  the dog came in low,

  11:32 a.m.

  Wednesday in the year of

  our Lord,

  all the man heard was the

  low gurgling growl,

  then the beast had ripped

  his thigh,

  it was summertime,

  the scream parted the

  air,

  the beast

  pirouetted,

  leaped powerfully,

  sailed toward the

  man’s

  throat,

  flowers grew in the

  flower beds,

  the lawn was newly

  mowed,

  the man threw up

  his hands

  against the bared

  fangs,

  shrank away,

  the beast bounced

  off,

  landed on all

  fours,

  the small finger

  of the man’s

  right hand

  in his

  mouth.

  the dog stood

  dumbly,

  then dropped the

  finger.

  it was a majestic

  and beautiful

  animal.

  its fur rose

  along its back

  and about the

  neck.

  it began circling

  the man

  rapidly.

  “JESUS CHRIST!

  JESUS CHRIST,

  HELP ME!”

  two men came

  running from the neighboring

  back yard.

  one was fat and

  bald

  with a face like

  an owl.

  the other was

  thin with a very

  white face

  with a large

  birthmark,

  purple-black,

  shaped like a

  walnut.

  “BRIGGS!” they

  yelled,

  “BRIGGS!

  STOP THAT!”

  Briggs paused, then

  trotted off into the

  back yard.

  the man held his

  hand

  up against his

  chest

  and covered it

  with his

  other hand.

  the man was

  sobbing, sobbing

  choking

  sobs.

  “I’ll KILL that

  fucking dog!

  I’ll KILL both

  of you!

  what’s the matter?

  are you CRAZY?

  ARE YOU

  CRAZY?”

  then the fat man

  with the face

  like an

  owl

  saw something

  on the

  lawn.

  he walked over

  and looked down

  at it.

  it was the

  finger.

  “what’s this?”

  he asked.

  “what’s this?”

  an old man on a

  bicycle rode past

  on the sidewalk

  he was in red

  and white shorts,

  wore goggles

  and a yellow

  helmet.

  on the back of

  his sweat shirt

  it said,

  MEAT ME,

  BABY.

  he rode on

  by.

  it was 11:39 a.m.

  in the year of our

  Lord.

  the kid

  had trouble hitting left

  handers so I got him to

  switch hit,

  then I shifted him from

  left to center,

  dropped him from

  lead-off to the 6th

  spot,

  also had him work

  on the bunt.

  I had long talks with

  him about his

  career,

  told him that

  concentration was

  essential.

  I worked hard with

  the kid,

  had him take

  extra batting

  practice,

  had him switch

  to a lighter

  bat,

  work on

  contact,

  the power would

  come by

  itself.

  I had him stand

  closer to the

  plate,

  be more

  selective at

  what he

  swung

  at.

  I worked hard

  with the

  kid,

  played him

  every day

  but his average

  dipped to

  .229 and I had

  to ship him

  to the

  minors.

  all that talent

  and he couldn’t get

  it

  together.

  he acted confused,

  disoriented.

  my guess was

  it’s some

  broad.

  poor bastard.

  all that

  natural talent

  shot to

  shit.

  I’ve seen it

  happen so many

  times.

  well, I’ve got

  Sunderson out

  there now.

  he’s hitting

  .289,

  lots of line

  drives,

  he’s adequate

  in the

  field,

  steady.

  we oughta be

  right in the

  race,

  come

  September.

  “To Serve and Protect”

  there were two policemen on motorcycles.

  ther
e was a policelady and a policeman

  from a squad car.

  the car was angled crosswise in the

  driveway to the parking lot

  of the cafe.

  one policeman was calling in

  downtown.

  there was a man about

  23.

  he was facing the wall of a

  building.

  he was obviously an

  indigent.

  his clothes were greasy and

  ill-fitting.

  and he had shit his

  pants.

  the stain was showing

  through the back.

  he was not cuffed

  and he was not directly

  facing the

  wall.

  he was turned a little to

  one side,

  peeking at his

  captors.

  the police seemed to be

  hardly

  watching him.

  they were

  indifferent,

  talking among

  themselves.

  it was a beautiful winter

  afternoon.

  I walked past the scene

  on the way to the

  cafe.

  as I did, the lady policeman

  gave me a hateful look

  that said, buzz off, this is

  none of your

  business.

  it was and it

  wasn’t.

  I went into the cafe and had

  lunch.

  when I came out

  everybody was

  gone

  and it was still a

  beautiful winter

  afternoon.

  poor bastard had shit his

 

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