Seeking Vengeance: Callaghan Brothers, Book 4

by Abbie Zanders

  Not in the physical sense; those wounds didn’t last long anyway. Bones mended. Bruises faded. Wounds closed. But heart damage? That shit stuck with you forever. And if she ever slept with Sean Callaghan – for any reason – she’d be laying herself out in the open for total annihilation. Because he was different.

  She could actually feel herself changing around him. Thinking crazy thoughts, like how maybe she wouldn’t have to shoulder everything alone. That maybe she was more than a quick fuck or permanently damaged goods. That she could have a life with someone like him. And that terrified her more than anything.

  “This is the most magical time of the day, don’t you think?” she said softly, belying the turmoil within. “It’s almost like – for that one minute it takes for the sun to just break the horizon – that anything is possible.”

  “Anything is possible,” he said, his voice just as soft, tender, as if he actually believed that. Jesus, Nicki thought. What if he did?

  She forced a little smile while inside, it felt like a magnitude-eight quake rumbled through her.

  “You don’t believe me.” It was a statement, not a question, and, oh shit, he was so much closer now. Close enough that she could feel the intense heat radiating from his body, scent the unique aroma of male soap and shaving cream and Sean.

  “I believe that you believe,” she said, turning back to the window, because if she kept looking into those deep blue eyes he was going to drag her into his little land of make-believe, too. A shiver ran through her.

  Sean slid behind her, wrapping around her like a blanket, letting his heat soak into her. It felt far too good. He guided her back against him so that she could feel each strong, steady beat of his heart drumming through her back and into her chest. She resisted for a moment, then surrendered to it. Even she deserved a little comfort sometimes, right? And she wouldn’t let it go any farther. It was just that she was so very cold, and he was so very warm...

  “What do you wish for?” The question surprised her so much that she barked out a little laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked against her ear. She fought the little moan that threatened to bubble up at the feel of his hot, minty toothpaste-scented breath against her skin.

  “Wishes,” she answered. As if she would ever waste time on something so irrelevant. Wishes were for suckers, for those not strong enough or smart enough to cope with reality. They signified false hope, and were counterproductive to getting off your ass and actually making the effort to change your own life.

  The lesson was hard learned and ingrained into her very soul. Wishes didn’t stop beatings or rapes. Wishes didn’t give you a mother who tucked you in bed at night with a kiss instead of selling you to her drug-dealing pimp. Wishes didn’t keep your brother from dealing and whoring himself to put food in your belly.

  “Everyone wishes for something, Nicki.”

  “Not me.” There were goals, things she had set her mind to. She would accomplish those and move on. She would not waste time on thinking of things that could never be a reality for her. A nice home. A loving husband. A family who cared.

  Chapter Eleven

  That was one of the saddest things he’d ever heard. Sean subconsciously pulled her closer, wishing he could just absorb her into himself. And the feeling extended deeper than he wanted it to. Maybe, on some level, he’d hoped that she might wish for him.

  “There’s nothing that you want?” he asked in disbelief.

  “I didn’t say that. But there’s a difference between wishing and wanting.”

  “Yeah? What’s that?” He breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of her hair. He’d never thought moonlight had its own scent before, but it did, and it was right here, in this woman that had somehow weaved herself into his very soul.

  “Wishing is for things you can’t get on your own. Wanting is for things you can.” She relaxed into him a little more, unclenching her hands and laying her palms against his thighs. Through the sweats he felt the warmth of her hands, and every time she touched him, a new set of nerves fired to life. It felt so good.

  “I have no use for wishes,” she whispered.

  Sean closed his eyes. If she kept touching his legs like that he was going to have to excuse himself again. Apparently a little DIY and a cold shower was not enough to get him through more than a few minutes in her presence.

  “Then what do you want, Nicki?” The question came out huskier, breathier, than he’d intended. But hell, she was making little circles on his thighs that were driving him crazy. His face was buried in moonlight. And her warm, soft flesh was pressing against him.

  “You.”

  Before he could process her response she was out of his grasp and on her knees before him, tugging the sweats over his hips. Stunned at her speed, her boldness, he was powerless to do anything but watch as she positioned herself between his legs. Nicki licked her lips hungrily as she ran her hands up and down his inner thighs. When her eyes met his, he could have sworn they glowed with silvery light. She pulled away only briefly, just long enough to whisk the shirt over her head and bare her upper body to him. The feel of her skin against him sent shockwaves of need through his body.

  “Nicki - ” Whatever plea he would have made was choked off as she took him in her mouth. All thoughts, questions, and potential protests were gone the second the hot wet heat surrounded him. She was wildly aggressive at first, her nails like claws digging into his hips, pressing him back as her teeth warned him against trying to pull away from her. Only when he sunk back into the chair and groaned did she begin to change her methods.

  “Look at me.” Her voice, deep and throaty, thick with desire, reached through his lusty haze. “Look at me, Sean. Watch me take what I want.”

  Sean forced his eyes open and found it hard to breathe. Her dark hair splayed across his lap, her glowing silver eyes captured his as her dark pink lips sucked the tip of him. Satisfied that she now had his full cooperation, her hands slid forward for better purpose.

  She made love to him with her mouth; there was no other way to describe it. Her full, moist lips slid up and down the length of his shaft, now so hard and engorged he could barely stand it. Her wicked tongue laved him, stroked at his sensitive flesh, rocketing him even further into bliss. Her soft hands tugged at his balls, pulling them gently but firmly as she took him into her mouth and sucked lightly at first, then increasing the hungry demands of her pull; it was so fucking hot. A moan left his lips as her other hand was suddenly around him, squeezing and stroking, spiraling up and down, her delicate fingers not long enough to completely encompass him.

  Sean’s fingers tangled in her silken black tresses, cupping the back of her head. Soft, feminine moans floated up to him, making him burn even hotter. Her full breasts pressed against the inside of his legs as she moved between them, positioning herself to take him from different angles until he could hold it no longer. Her silvery eyes no longer held his, her lids half closed in desire as she focused solely on the task of pleasuring him.

  “Nicki, baby, I’m going to come, sweetheart.” He forced the words out, a ragged breathy string of sounds that was just barely discernable. Nicki pulled harder, stroked faster, until the first jet of his release exploded across her tongue. Then she leaned back and pumped him with two hands simultaneously, capturing the rest on her breasts. When he was finished, she took him back in her mouth, licking him clean. This time her strokes were ultra-tender. Her eyes, half shuttered, were dazed in the pleasure that he felt, as if she was the one being loved. It hit him, then, amidst the waves of ecstasy rippling through him.

  She loved him, too.

  Sean pulled her into his lap, needing to feel her against him until his heart stopped hammering in his chest, until he could breathe again. He tucked her head into his neck and held on for dear life. When his legs were strong enough, he picked her up and carried her into his bedroom.

  He laid her out on his bed, gently removing the remainder of her clothing. Her eyes followed
his every move as he caressed and kissed every inch of her skin, leaving no spot untouched. He took his time. Tasting. Sampling. Teasing.

  By the time he rose over her, she was shaking.

  “Condom,” she whispered when he pressed the head of his shaft against the hot, drenched entrance of her sex. Sean frowned. He didn’t want to use a condom. He didn’t want anything between them. Nicki was his. Not just now. Forever.

  Clearly she hadn’t accepted that yet, but she would. He would make sure of it. Until then...

  Dutifully he reached over to the night table beside his bed and extracted a foil packet. With well-practiced fingers he sheathed himself and slid inside her.

  It was better than he had ever dreamed. Any doubts that Nicki was his soulmate were blown away as he sank into her yielding flesh. This woman was made specifically for him and him alone, he was convinced of that.

  He set the initial rhythm to slow and easy. Long, languorous strokes that filled her completely and soon had her panting, curling her nails into his ass, begging him for more.

  When he knew she was close, he withdrew completely, only to plunge into her with a full, thorough thrust. He pumped inside of her, bringing her to spectacular release, basking in the feel of her clenching around him, riding her and elongating her orgasm as she sobbed his name. He gave one last grunt and gave himself over to his release.

  * * *

  The haze of ecstasy that fogged her thoughts dissipated suddenly. Nicki grabbed his biceps as he sank against her, her eyes opening wide as the sudden rush of thick heat filled her. “Sean! Oh my God, I think it broke!”

  Icy terror coursed through her veins even as her mind tried to reject the hot, thick seed within her, to ignore the very certain tactile memory of pulsing jets against her inner walls.

  “Sean!” she said louder, pushing frantically at his arms and chest in an attempt to get him off of her.

  He blinked once and looked deep into her eyes with something she couldn’t quite recognize. Whatever it was, it was definitely not the same paralyzing fear she felt.

  “Oh my God oh my God oh my God,” she panted, struggling to get out from under him. “Did it?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Reluctantly, Sean pulled back enough to allow her to move. As she moved away he turned slightly. He looked down at the condom in his hand, then back at her.

  “Oh, fuck,” she said, seeing the truth in his eyes. It was unnecessary, though, because she could very clearly feel the proof.

  “It’s alright, Nicki,” he said gently. She stared at him blankly. Alright? No, it was not alright. It was most definitely not alright. She reached for her clothes. Shit. Where was her shirt? Oh yeah, in the living room....

  “Where’s the nearest pharmacy?”

  “Why?” he asked, his voice darkening, following her into the bathroom.

  “I’ve got to go.” She cleaned herself off the best she could, then shimmied into her clothes. When was the last time she’d had her birth control shot? Shit, she couldn’t remember.

  “Nicki, we need to talk about this.”

  * * *

  “No. No, we don’t,” she insisted. “This was stupid. So fucking stupid....” She mumbled almost incoherently as she attempted to slide between him and the door frame. He trapped her there, forced her to look at him. He saw terror in her eyes. Terror and anger and regret, and none of those things belonged there. Her body trembled; the pads of his fingers against her neck confirmed a rapid heartbeat.

  Christ, she looked like a caged animal in full-on panic mode. “Yes,” he said, gently but firmly. “We do.”

  There was a knock at the door. Sean growled as Nicki made another move to slip by him. “Leave it,” he said. This was much more important.

  “Sean. Hey, Sean, I need to talk to you, man.” Nick’s voice called through the door.

  “Oh, fuck,” Nicki muttered again.

  If it had been anyone else, Sean would not have even considered answering the door, but the rage he felt at Nick for what he’d done wouldn’t let him ignore it.

  “Go into my bedroom, close the door, and wait for me,” Sean commanded. “We are not finished.” For a moment he didn’t think she would, then she nodded her head and went. Sean pulled on a pair of jeans and answered the door.

  “Nick.” The kid looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He was wearing the same clothes Sean had seen him in two days earlier; there were dark circles under his eyes, his skin was pale, and his pupils were no more than pinpricks. Sean narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

  “Can I come in?” Nick asked, shifting his weight nervously from side to side.

  Sean stepped to the side, giving him room to enter. As he did, Sean sniffed, instantly registering the lingering scents of alcohol and weed smoke, but judging by the kid’s eyes, he’d gone more hardcore than that. Sean was pretty sure if he rolled up Nick’s sleeve he’d see a few holes that hadn’t been there a few days ago.

  Nick looked around briefly, his eyes widening when he spotted the bank of electronics. When he turned back to Sean, he found a hard, intense look that warned him not to even think about it.

  Nick cleared his throat. “I’m looking for Nicki.”

  “Lose her, did you?”

  Anger flashed in Nick’s eyes, but the kid apparently had managed to spare enough brain cells to tuck it away. “She didn’t come home last night.”

  Sean was about to point out that there probably wouldn’t have been a problem if he had bothered to be there for his sister, but before he could, Nicki stepped out of the bedroom. She took one look at her brother and the shape he was in. “Ah, fuck, Nick. No.”

  “Nicki?” he said, surprised to hear her voice.

  “You promised, Nick,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

  “What are you doing here?” Nick said, his voice growing stronger. When she didn’t answer, he looked at her, then Sean, then back at her as it became clear. “Fuck!”

  “I buried our mother, yesterday, Nick,” Nicki said, her own voice taut with the strain. “And I did it alone.”

  “So you came to him? To him!?” Nick’s eyes were wild.

  “Where else was I going to go? Where were you? Damn it, Nick! Not again! I can’t go through this again!”

  “Did you fuck him, Nicki? Did you?”

  Faster than he would have thought possible, Nicki lunged toward Nick and pushed him. Hard. “Fuck you, Nick. I so don’t need your shit right now.”

  Nick reached out to grab her but she was much quicker than he was. She spun around and bobbed up behind him, kicking him in the back of his knee once, taking him down to the floor.

  “Enough!” Sean bellowed. He reached out and pulled her away from Nick, out of striking distance. She tried to shrug away, but he held onto her arm in such a way that each struggle twisted her into a painful position. He leaned down and spoke quietly in her ear. “Calm down, hellcat.”

  She stopped fighting him, thank God. Nick, however, looked more pissed off than ever. Sporting a nice rivulet of blood where he had split his lip, he staggered to his feet. Sean pushed Nicki out of the way when Nick charged him. The kid might be lean and wiry, but he was no match for a trained ex-SEAL. With a smooth, practiced move, Sean easily caught and subdued him.

  “If you ever speak to her like that again I’ll beat you myself,” he growled into Nick’s face. Nick’s body slumped as the fight drained out of him.

  “How much, Nick?” Nicki asked wearily as her twin hung his head and tried to catch his breath, not an easy thing to do when Sean still had his arm around Nick’s throat.

  “Ah, fuck,” she murmured once again. “Let him go, Sean. He’s done.”

  Sean wasn’t convinced, but then Nicki looked up into his eyes. “Please.” It was a softly spoken request, one filled with more pain than he ever wanted to hear in her voice again. Reluctantly, he released Nick, who crumpled and just barely caught himself before he hit the floor.

  Nicki went to his side, attempting to help
him up. “Come on, Nick. Let’s get you home.” The weariness, the resignation in her voice led Sean to believe this wasn’t the first time she’d done this.

  “I’ll come with you,” he said. “Just give me a few minutes to change.”

  She looked like she was going to argue with him, but she didn’t. Thank God. “Take your time,” she said, blowing out a breath. “Mind if I try to get some coffee into him?”

  “Hell, no. Help yourself.” With one last warning glance at Nick – who now looked like he hadn’t the strength to be a threat to anyone – Sean disappeared into his bedroom.

  He finished dressing quickly, grabbing a shirt and some socks. He could hear them talking in the living room. They were speaking too softly for him to make out exactly what they were saying, but by the tone of their voices, he knew it wasn’t good.

  Satisfied that they both seemed to have calmed down a little, Sean moved toward the back of his walk-in closet and popped the latch, into the hidden exit. Pulling out his cell, he hit the speed dial; he only had to wait for one ring.

  “Ian, man, I need you to run some shit for me. Nicholas and Nicole or Nicolette Milligan.” He cursed himself for not knowing her first name. It seemed like the kind of thing a man should know about the woman he probably just impregnated and planned to marry. “Yeah... thanks, man... I need it like yesterday, hear me?... Yeah, it’s important.. Right, fuck you too... later.”

  Sean had no doubt that despite Ian’s grumblings, he would get on it right away. Ian was just a little testy because it meant he had to crawl out of his nice warm bed (and his nice warm wife). Sean couldn’t blame him. Now that he knew how it felt to be inside his woman, he wanted to spend as much time there as possible.

  Including right now, as a matter of fact. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to happen.

  He’d like to blame Nick, but he couldn’t, not for all of it. Nicki was already trying to bolt before her brother had shown up, although Sean was confident he could have calmed her down and gotten her back in bed. She was scared; he got that. From the little bit he had pieced together of her life so far, he wasn’t surprised. It didn’t take a psych degree to know she didn’t want to end up like her mom, pregnant and alone.