Just South of Christmas

by Grace Palmer

  Before Melanie could say anymore, Ashley had turned off the car and exited. The hospital loomed before her. Just as it always did, a sense of dread overcame her as she entered.

  They entered Colin’s room and found him asleep.

  “He looks peaceful,” Ashley commented as Melanie went to pull the blanket up to Colin’s chin. He had a habit of pushing it down in his sleep, even though she knew it comforted him greatly to be covered up from head to toe.

  “He does.” She placed a hand on his cheek. “He looks relaxed. The past few days he had a strain on his face even when sleeping. This is a good sign.”

  “I’ll keep you company until he wakes, if you like. That way I can say hello as well.”

  Melanie nodded and the two women sat down side-by-side and conversed quietly.

  “I haven’t asked you, but are you going to go up to Portland next semester to start your studies? Or will I be able to keep you hostage in the practice for a while longer?”

  Ashley grimaced at the question. “I’m not sure. On one hand, I really want to get my studies started, but on the other I don’t want to leave Drew. I don’t even want to think about being apart from him for so long.”

  “Yeah, I can understand that. Distance can cause a strain, but at the same time, if you are sure that he’s the one, I think you can withstand anything. I mean, you managed well enough when you finished your bachelor’s degree. You were long-distance then.”

  Ashley leaned forward and placed a hand on her crossed leg, her head resting on her chin. “We managed, but it was hard. Maybe because we were still new and unsure of each other.” She shrugged. “But then again, now that I’m committed to him, I want to leave even less. I’ll have to eventually. My parents aren’t thrilled I’ve put it off for so long as it is.”

  Melanie stopped herself from mentioning that Ashley might feel different if they were married. It wasn’t her place. As the older sister, she had a strong desire to help her little brother.

  There was something else she had to say, at least if only to ease her own mind. “I get it,” she said. “And I don’t know if this helps you at all, but Drew truly loves you. He might even move up there with you if you asked. It’s a possibility.”

  “You think?” Her left eyebrow went up. Evidently, this option never crossed her mind. “He just started his job, though.”

  Melanie placed a hand on Ashley’s forearm. “He’s committed to you. He talks about the future he wants with you all the time. The wedding, the house, the kids. He’s even floated the idea of you and I going into joint practice. ‘Baldwin & Pearson – For the love of animals.’”

  Melanie giggled, but noticed with some alarm that Ashley wasn’t joining in.

  Somehow, this comment, as innocent as it had been, made Ashley’s face darken again. She smiled at her but it was a forced smile, the kind you put on when the cashier at the supermarket attempts to engage you in small talk when all you really want is to get home with your pint of ice cream and curl up on the couch with a good book or movie.

  She was about to make sure Ashley wasn’t upset when Ashley’s phone rang and she pulled it out of her backpack. She frowned. “It’s my dad. I have to take it.”

  With that, she slipped out of the room, leaving Melanie alone with Colin.

  “Mel?” he asked quietly.

  She turned and saw his eyes opening and closing as he drifted from sleep to reality. The phone must have woken him up. Of course—nothing woke Colin but the sound of a ringing phone. He could sleep through jackhammering and plane engines, but let a phone ring once and he was wide awake.

  “Colin!” She was by his side in a moment.

  “Hey, beautiful,” he said. His voice was groggy as if drunk from sleep.

  “Hey, stranger, you recognize me at last? Unless you have some other woman in Willow Beach you like to call beautiful.”

  He attempted to smile, but she could see he was in pain. She got up and carefully sat on the side of his bed as he reached for her hand. Feeling his hand in hers again made a warm tingling sensation flush throughout her body.

  “Only you,” he replied at last. “Nobody but you.” He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, smiled. “I love you. I’m sorry about everything. I was overwhelmed. I…”

  “It’s alright. You don’t have to talk. It’s exhausting you.”

  He swallowed and shook his head. “Things need to be said. They just do. I wanted to finish the house for you and I just couldn’t comprehend why there are so many problems…”

  She gently placed her hand on his lips to silence him. “Don’t worry. Look. I overreacted. I shouldn’t have been … There are things I haven’t told you, Colin. Now isn’t the right time to talk about them though, not with you in hospital.”

  “Now is the perfect time. If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that there are things that can’t wait to be said. I could have died without telling you how much I love you and how sorry I am, for one.”

  She sighed then. Perhaps this was the right time to tell him the truth about her feelings. After all, he was right. She didn’t know what life could bring and they were here, now. Ready to share. At last she nodded.

  “Alright. I guess the reason I got so upset was because underneath it all, Alfie being let go meant the house wasn’t going to be finished in time. That meant we’re not getting married anytime soon, and….” She shook her head, only for him to squeeze her hand harder.

  “What is it, Mel?”

  Melanie hesitated for a moment before clearing her throat. “I know I should have told you this long ago, but instead, I bottled it up.” She sighed and closed her eyes. She gathered her thoughts before continuing. “The truth is, Colin, I’m worried about the future. There are things I want, but they keep being pushed back because the house isn’t ready. Ever since we had that scare last year when I thought I was pregnant, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I really want a baby.”

  She stopped and looked up, worried to see what his reaction would be.

  To her great relief, he leaned back against his pillow and smiled at her. “Oh, Mel, you know I want a child, too. I thought we talked about this already?”

  “Yes, we did. But you don’t understand. I don’t want to wait anymore. I’m thirty-two already. I don’t know how much more time I have to get pregnant. I’m from a big family. I would want my child to have siblings, just like I did. I feel like time is slipping away from me. From us.”

  He exhaled and pressed his lips together for a moment. “I’m sorry, babe. I guess I was so focused on getting the house ready that I didn’t consider anything else. I wanted to give you a perfect home with a nursery ready for a baby before we got married and started planning a family.”

  “I know, honey. It just seems like the house is taking forever. And meanwhile, life is passing us by.”

  She had always loved his desire to provide her with a perfect home. And she knew well that his focus could lead to tunnel vision.

  Still, she knew that the house was his passion, and so she kept these thoughts to herself all of this time.

  It felt good to finally share her feelings with him—all of them.

  “You are right. There is no reason why we can’t start planning for a child and get married while we wait for the house to be finished. With any luck, by the time the child comes around, the house will be ready.”

  Melanie reached for his hand. “I would hope so. But even if not, I don’t mind at all as long as we are together. I just want us to start our family. Even if it’s not under perfect conditions.”

  He squeezed her hand. “I want that, too, Melanie. How about this? As soon as I am out of this hospital, I’ll hire a contractor with a proper crew to finish the house. With my leg in the state, it’s in, it’s going to be months before I am fit to do any work myself. I don’t want to wait that long either. Let’s shell out some money.” He grinned and winked at her. “For the house and the wedding.”

 
She smiled at him with delight. “And the nursery.”

  “Yes. And the nursery.” He motioned for her to lean towards him. When she did, he placed his lips on hers as they sealed their agreement with a kiss.

  19

  Drew

  As the clock moved closer towards five p.m., Drew could not help but pull his cellphone out of his desk drawer. He scrolled up to Ashley’s message from last night once more, even though he already knew what it said, having read it countless times.

  Drew, Mom and Dad arrived in town early. They want me to join them at the cottage tonight for dinner and a “talk.” I’ll probably spend the night there. Text you tomorrow. Love, Ashley.

  She had added one of her beloved heart emojis, but it did nothing to take the sting out of it for Drew.

  A “talk.”

  The words filled him with dread. What kind of a talk could they possibly want that did not include him? It definitely wasn’t about the wedding; at least, not in a positive way. Otherwise, they surely would have invited him along.

  More than likely, they had summoned her to discuss her education. But even that alarmed Drew. More than anything else, he was worried because he hadn’t heard much from her since that text.

  He scrolled through the text exchange and frowned. It seemed as though her responses were growing shorter and shorter, while his became increasingly alarmed. He focused in on their last exchange earlier that afternoon.

  Haven’t heard much from you. How did it go? Kinda worried. Are you coming home tonight, or spending the night with your parents again?

  IDK. Let you know later.

  Ok. Let me know.

  That was the last he had heard from her. His impulses kept driving him to text her again, but he forced himself not to do it. Clearly, something was up, but he knew her well enough not to push.

  He put the phone away and finished up the menial tasks that have been assigned to him by Henderson, his supervisor. One by one, his coworkers shut off their own workstations and made their way home until Drew found himself alone in the office, save for Sandy, the receptionist.

  He glanced at the clock. It was just before five. Time to pack it up for the day.

  Drew had just placed his belongings in his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, when his eyes turned towards the office at the end of the hall. The door was closed, but the light was on. Was the owner of the property actually in, for once? He was about to ask the receptionist in order to satisfy his curiosity when his cell phone chimed with a message.

  He pulled it out of his pocket. With a beating heart, he opened the message.

  Drew, can you please come over to my parents’ house after work? Something we need to talk about.

  Drew swallowed. This was not good. Not good at all. He rushed out into the parking lot, threw his backpack into the passenger seat. A moment later, the car roared to life.

  He sped down the street towards Willow Beach. His mind was focused on Ashley, until he passed the little church with the sign on the marquee. He noticed that once again the message had been changed.

  It now read, “Let us help you find the answer.”

  He scoffed as he read the words. Right about now, he really could use someone to give him all of the answers.

  He pulled up outside of the little rental cottage where Ashley’s parents stayed. Ashley’s sedan was parked in the driveway alongside her parents’ BMW. He got out, slamming the door louder than necessary, and climbed up the steps.

  He was just about to push the doorbell when the door was yanked open as Ashley’s face appeared in the doorway. Her hair was in a simple ponytail and her face was free of makeup. She wore a pair of slender, ripped-up jeans beneath one of her university sweaters.

  “Howdy, Junebug.” He forced a smile, hoping that the familiar greeting would ease the tension between them.

  It did not. She stared at him and narrowed her eyes, motioning for him to step aside. Evidentially, he was not even going to be invited inside.

  The feeling of dread was palpable.

  “What’s going on, Ashley? I’ve hardly heard from you all day. Now I’m not even allowed inside?”

  “I know, Drew. I’m sorry. I had to think.” She didn’t look at him, and instead, cast her gaze down at the pavement.

  “Think? About what? Ash, you’re killing me here. Is your dad upset again? Is that why I’m not allowed inside?”

  Finally, she lifted her gaze and looked directly at him. “Drew, it’s not you they are upset with. It’s me. They want me to go back to school now. If I don’t, then they’re not going to pay for my education. Dad thinks I’m wasting my time interning at Melanie’s when I could be working towards my own degree, and have my own practice.”

  Drew’s face fell. “But you are going back to school. Eventually. And working for a vet could only help you in your studies. And anyway…”

  She raised a hand to stop him. “There’s more.” She stopped and licked her lips, averting her gaze once more.

  Drew felt a tightening in his chest as panic rose up in his body. He could already imagine what she was going to say next. Bracing himself, he took a step back. “What is it, Ash?”

  “I can’t be with you anymore, Drew. I have to focus on my education. I’ve allowed my love for you to distract me from my path in life. If we stay together, I’ll likely just keep pushing my return to school back longer and longer. I have to put getting my degree first. And besides, you are still figuring yourself out, too.”

  Drew reached out and clasped her wrist. “Ashley, no! Listen to yourself. That is your dad talking, not you. Is it because he’s threatening to cut you off? If it is, then one of us can take out a loan. People do it all of the time. We’ll pay off the student loans together.”

  “I can’t ask that of you. You have to look after yourself.”

  Drew let go of her wrist and shook his head. What was happening here? Had her father really gotten into her head this much?

  He looked at her, unable to hide the pain from his face. “You’re not asking anything of me. I’m giving it. I thought that we were in this together. You’re my family. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. This would be an investment into our future together. We don’t need your father’s money.”

  He ran his hands through his hair, unable to contain his panic. This could not be happening. He was losing her. After the failure of his career, and the disappearance of his father, he could not handle another calamity of this magnitude.

  Thoughts were racing through his head, and before he knew what he was doing, he dropped to one knee before her.

  “Drew, no…” Her voice was at once full of pity and shock.

  But he was not to be deterred.

  “Ashley, please. Marry me. We can get through this together. Say that you’ll marry me, and I will go talk to your father right now.”

  He reached for her hand and, for a moment, their fingers touched.

  But then she yanked her fingers away. Ashley took a step back as her eyes went wide and her already-pale face looked paler still.

  “No, Drew. I’m not going to marry you. Please get up. You’re making a scene. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to Melanie about getting my things from the apartment.” She turned and was about to open the door when she stopped to look back at him one last time. “I’m sorry, Drew. I love you, but I can’t.”

  With that, she disappeared inside and the heavy wooden door closed behind her, leaving him alone kneeling on the snow-covered porch.

  What could have been the perfect scene for a romantic proposal turned out instead to be the backdrop to Drew Baldwin’s worst nightmare.

  Completely devastated, Drew returned to his car. Everything, it seemed, absolutely everything he cared about, was falling apart before him. Ashley had just dashed all the hopes he’d had for a future with her.

  Without her, he didn’t know what his life was supposed to be like. He hadn’t thought of it. He’d never imagined he would need to think of a future w
ithout her. In fact, he’d been so sure of them and the strength of their relationship that he would have done anything for her.

  And he had! He’d given up searching for something he was passionate about and accepted a job he didn’t like, just so they might have a future.

  Not that he blamed her. He’d done it gladly, for their future. He would have taken a job shucking oysters if it meant being with her. Being with Ashley—that was the important part. That was all that mattered.

  Drew turned the key in the ignition and stepped on the gas. Peeling out of Ashley’s driveway, he glanced in his rearview mirror and saw her looking out of the window at him.

  What just happened? He couldn’t even wrap his mind around it. It wasn’t as though he had bullied Ashley into doing anything. He never asked her to postpone her education for him. He never asked her to change universities. She’d willingly done these things. Every decision they’d come to, they’d come to together.

  If he was that kind of guy, he would have been more persistent about trying to get her to marry him against her father’s wishes. He was a respectful guy. Not just of her boundaries but also of Mr. Pearson’s.

  He wasn’t sure where he was supposed to go now. He didn’t want to go home. All of her stuff was still all over the apartment. It would be impossible to go there without breaking down.

  He found himself driving aimlessly down the road, past the big Christmas tree in the town square, past the Christmas market. It was bustling with people now that it was evening-time. He didn’t feel like being around anyone, let alone crowds of people.

  He needed distance.

  Drew drove out of the city limits, leaving a sign that read “See you again soon in Willow Beach” in his rearview mirror. It wasn’t until he was halfway to his office when he realized just where he was going.

  The church.

  He wasn’t quite sure why, but there was something pulling him in that direction. Maybe it was the sign he saw earlier in the day. They had claimed that they could help find the answers.