Once Upon a Time a Sparrow

by Mary Avery Kabrich

  These words catch my attention because I know how to sound them out: spark, sharp, small. When I come across two o’s together, I look at those two o’s and find myself saying, loose caboose or good cook. I pull out from under the bed the Read It book I made and begin to write a new list of words. Words I discovered in The Fairy Angel’s Gift.

  It’s fun to read the words I’ve written. Some rhyme like a poem. My eyes move quickly from letter to letter with the sounds coming together instead of sputtering toward nowhere. My stomach no longer hurts. Even though I didn’t find Gwendolyn’s name, I found lots more words I can read.

  “Jack,” yells Danny outside my window. At first, I think they came home too early. I check my alarm clock and can hardly believe my eyes; my day at home has come to an end so fast. I tear out the pages of words from my notebook and place them with the other two already folded in half in the back of the book. Now I have a total of four Read It pages.

  The screen door to the kitchen opens and slams shut, two times. I get up to meet my brothers. In the kitchen, Jack races toward the pantry while Danny trails behind him. Jack now has a pack of graham crackers in his hand.

  “Hi, Maddie. Did you have fun today at home?” Jack asks.

  “No, I stayed in bed the whole day.”

  “I wish I could stay home in bed all day,” Jack says.

  “Sounds boring to me,” says Danny, and he starts to follow Jack out to the TV room.

  “Where’s Rob?” I ask.

  “I don’t know,” says Jack. “He stayed after for something.” Then they both go off to watch TV.

  Later, when I dash into the kitchen to ask Mom if I can use her black marker to make flash cards for Bobby, I’m surprised to notice it’s almost past dinnertime. Father’s home, the hamburger-noodle casserole is out of the oven cooling off on the stove, and Uncle Joe and Rob are not here. I start to ask about Rob and change my mind—Mom and Father sound like they are arguing.

  I turn to leave, and Mom yells out to me, “Maddie, will you please set the table?”

  Uh-oh, it’s the voice that means business. I grab six plates. But if Uncle Joe comes . . . I put seven out. I move about laying out napkins, silverware, glasses for milk, and all the while, I keep an ear to the living room. It’s about Rob. I hear his name, but everything else is spoken too fast and jumbled. Once the table is set, I duck into the TV room and go to Jack and poke his shoulder. He looks up.

  “How come Rob wasn’t on the bus?”

  “He said Uncle Joe was going to pick him up. He’s doing something for his math teacher after school.” Jack turns back to the TV. I go to my room and moments later hear Uncle Joe’s truck. I peer out my window and see Rob hopping out. He looks happy. I bet he tried out for track. I return to the kitchen and take the milk out of the fridge. Rob walks in, followed by Uncle Joe. Before anyone can say anything, Father is standing in the kitchen like a period in the middle of a sentence. Uncle Joe nods and leaves. Rob’s smile fades; he looks up at Father, and then his eyes fall to the floor. Nothing is said, but now I wish we didn’t all have to sit down to dinner. Mom calls Jack and Danny, and I try to pretend everything is like usual.

  After blessing, no one talks. Finally, Danny begins talking about using the trampoline in gym class and how much fun he had. Rob keeps his eyes on his plate of food, and so do I. Uncle Joe and Jack both act like they’ve not eaten in a week. Father clears his throat and says, “So, Rob, I heard from your mother that you’ve decided to show up for the track team after all.”

  “It’s not what you think. I’m applying to be a manager, not a participant.”

  “Are you doing math to be a manager?” Jack asks.

  “Yes. My math teacher, Mr. Greely, recommended that I apply. I’m learning statistics.”

  Rob is so smart. I’ve never even heard of that word. I wonder if he knows the word transformation.

  “Except it does mean hanging out on a grass field and running errands. Rob, this is not a wise choice. There are other things you can do after school instead of trying to provoke an asthma attack.”

  “Dad, you don’t understand, that’s not what I’m doing. And everything was fine today.” He covers his mouth, coughs, and makes a wheezing sound. I try to think of something to say to get Father’s eyes off him, but there’s nothing about my day that will make sense to anyone.

  Danny comes to the rescue. “Mrs. Peterson taught us how to add double-digit numbers. They’re so big, you can’t use your fingers, but now I know the trick and it’s easy.” He looks around the table. I can tell he’s waiting to hear praise. “I brought them home for homework, but I don’t even need any help.”

  “Danny, that sounds exciting.” Mom says, and I hear the shakiness in her voice match what I see on her face: there’s a big problem between her and Father. “I’ll want to take a look at those math problems after the dishes.”

  Rob stops wheezing, and after only a couple of bites of dinner, he mumbles that he has lots of homework to do and excuses himself.

  “Please tell me the end like you said you would today.” Danny stands with a dish towel in his hand and acts as if he won’t dry the dishes if I don’t tell him.

  “I know, but I just need a little more time. I have too much on my mind.” He has no idea what I have to do tomorrow.

  “Why can’t you just tell me how the real part ends?”

  “Because. I need time,” I say in Father’s firm harsh voice. Danny lets the dish towel drop and runs out of the kitchen. It doesn’t matter. He isn’t much help anyway.

  I’m about to stack the last dinner plate into the drying rack when Uncle Joe walks in.

  “Looks like your drying partner done run off on you.”

  “He’s not much help anyway.”

  Uncle Joe grabs Danny’s towel and starts to dry the dishes. I’ve never seen a grown man dry dishes before.

  “Thanks, Uncle Joe, but I don’t mind doing this.”

  “I don’t mind either. Besides, I heard you stayed home today. Are you feeling better now?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So I guess that means you missed out on working with the special teacher today,” he says. I dump the water from the dishes and start to walk out of the kitchen.

  “Mary Madelyn,” he says, and I stop. Uncle Joe has never called me by my full name. I look right at him and he continues. “You have a chance to get help. You’re so smart, it’s important that you accept it.”

  “I don’t need an extra teacher. I’m learning to read on my own.” My stomach jumps when I see his expression. He looks like Father. I again start to leave the kitchen.

  “Maddie, listen. I haven’t been honest with you.”

  I stop again. Grown-ups don’t talk this way. I turn toward him. He’s twisting the dish towel in his hands. He doesn’t really look like Father, but he doesn’t look like my uncle either.

  “I want you to know something.” His words come out slowly. He puts the dish towel down. I lean back against the counter. “I never learned to read. I guess I was too busy goofing off when I should have been paying attention.”

  I search his eyes for the twinkle that shows he’s teasing. “I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”

  “I’m afraid not. Even your father tried to teach me, but I never got the hang of it. I dropped out of school. It was a big mistake.” He takes a deep breath, and I feel my knees go weak. “I wish I’d had a special teacher who could have taught me how to read.”

  “But you’re smart, and it’s just because you need glasses. Anyway, Dad’s wrong. I can read.” The word read hardly makes it out before my voice turns shaky and my eyes blur up. I wipe them with my sleeves.

  “Sister Bard.” His voice calls from somewhere far away. It’s the tone he uses when listening to my stories. “Sister Bard, I have a confession to make.”

  I stare up at him and see my favorite uncle, and I already know I’ll forgive him for whatever he has to say.

  “I . . . I made it up,” he sa
ys. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I don’t need glasses. The truth is, I never learned how to read.”

  “But . . . I don’t understand. Why didn’t they teach you?”

  “They tried. It didn’t work, and I gave up.”

  A thousand questions race through my mind. How can someone as smart as Uncle Joe not learn to read? Before I can ask, I can tell he has more to say.

  “Listen, I had the best job of my life selling cars. Loved it. I was good. Until I was asked, in a very important meeting, to read a report. I . . . flipped out. I mean, I didn’t expect it and panicked. The next thing I knew, I was out the door running.” He steps away from the counter and looks around as if to make sure we’re alone, and even though I’m hardly understanding what he’s telling me, I can’t help but take a step closer to him. He sighs heavily and then says, “I quit.”

  “Can’t you just go back and tell them you want another chance?”

  He slaps his left upper pocket where he keeps his cigarettes. I’m sure he’s going to pull one out, but he doesn’t.

  “I wish it were that simple.” When he looks at me, his eyes are thick and watery.

  “Uncle Joe, I almost quit too, but now I’m really working at it.” I draw in a deep breath before continuing. “I also have a confession to make.” He leans back on the counter again, and I glance around to make sure neither Danny nor Mom is about to enter. “Two confessions. I do have a special teacher, and she’s helping me . . . and I borrowed a book without asking from my teacher. It’s a very special book. She wants it back, and Bobby might get blamed if I don’t return it. But I’m like you, I don’t steal things—but I guess this is sort of like stealing.”

  “Well, that’s between you and God. Bringing it back is an excellent idea. It must be a mighty special book.”

  “It is, and I’m learning to read it. It’s called The Fairy Angel’s Gift, and you know I’ve seen fairies. The fairy in this book has a special name. Her name is Yram, but guess what? I discovered it is really the name Mary spelled backward. Do you remember ever mixing up the letters backward?”

  “Sister, it’s been so long since I have even tried to make sense of letters, I can’t remember, but this certainly sounds special.” Uncle Joe’s wonderful smile returns. I step closer.

  “Hey,” he says. His arms spread out, and I fall into them. “Maddie, promise me you won’t make the mistake I made. Don’t ever give up on school.”

  “Promise.”

  ~CHAPTER 46~

  1967

  I READ MY Read It lists one more time. Then I lie awake, still knowing that I have very messy rooms to clean. Within moments, my stomach twists: I see my Father’s stern face at dinner, Rob wheezing, and Mom’s tight way of talking to Danny. I slam shut the doors to these messy rooms and begin to say Hail Marys. By the third one, my stomach relaxes. But there are other places inside me rising up in a new round of stomach tightness. I let my thoughts sweep through what tomorrow may bring, and they land on Mrs. Zinc wanting The Fairy Angel’s Gift back.

  I can’t even let myself think about this. I start saying more Hail Marys. By the time I’ve said ten, my parents’ voices, harsh and choppy, cause me to lose my place. Quick, jerky movements in the hall, and the coat closet door opening and closing bring me out of bed and to the bathroom, where I listen.

  “Dora, I told you this would happen.”

  “George, there’s no way to have known. It could be due to something entirely different. We just need to take him in before it gets worse.”

  My heart races. “Mom, what’s happening?”

  Mom has her coat on, and Father’s putting his on too.

  “Honey, Rob is having an asthma attack. We need to take him to the hospital so they can help him breathe. Everything’s going to be okay—he just needs more oxygen.”

  But . . . I can’t move or say a thing. I’m seeing Grandma O’Leary in her robe and slippers, her bald head propped up by Mom and Father shuffling through the kitchen. Grandma left at night and never came back. I didn’t get to say good-bye; I was crying too hard.

  Mom swoops down, holds my face between her hands, and stares into my eyes, knowing what I most fear. My heart is beating so fast I think I’m having an asthma attack.

  “Madelyn, don’t you worry. Say some prayers and everything’ll be fine. Now you get back in bed. You’ll be asleep by the time we get home.” Her lips smack my forehead.

  Father is now walking slowly down the hall with Rob, who gasps for air as if the wind has been knocked out of him. Father’s face looks like a piece of glass that might fall and break at any moment. I reach out and place my hand on Rob’s right shoulder. He turns toward me, his face putty gray, his lips quivering.

  “Rob,” I murmur.

  Even before reaching my bed, I’m begging: Saint Rita, it’s okay that you decided reading for me is a lost cause, but please, please help Rob. Please help him to breathe, don’t let him die. Outside my window, the car lights leave the driveway. In the middle of a Hail Mary I hear a knock on my door, and before I can respond, it creaks open. Danny stands shivering in his flannel pajamas.

  “Danny, why aren’t you in bed?”

  “I saw Mom and Dad leave with Rob. I’m scared.” He moves closer. Sniffling, he asks, “Can I lay with you for a while?”

  “Danny, don’t be afraid. Mom said everything will be all right. They’re just bringing him to the hospital so he can breathe easier. It’ll be all right.”

  Danny doesn’t move, only continues to sniffle.

  “You can get in with me, just don’t fall asleep and wet the bed.”

  “You know I don’t do that anymore.”

  “And you don’t have to cry. Everything’ll be okay. I just prayed to Saint Rita, and she’ll take care of things.”

  “Does she always answer your prayers?” He peers into my eyes.

  “Well . . .” I can’t lie to him. And then I remember. The Read It list—I am learning to read. Saint Rita is finally helping me learn to read. It just took longer than expected. “Yes, she always answers my prayers. She’ll help Rob too. I know it.”

  This is the answer Danny’s hoping for. His tears stop. He climbs in next to me and squirrels around, looking up.

  “Maddie, is that a dream catcher you have over your bed?”

  “Yes. I made it. And it works.”

  “I wish I had one.”

  “Well, I can share mine with you. That is, after tomorrow. I have the stuff to make one more, and I think I know who needs it the most.”

  “You never did tell me how the story ended. It’s not fair. I really want to know. Will you please tell me the ending?” Danny’s big blue eyes are still puffy from crying. I feel the warmth of his soft body against me, and I have no choice.

  “Okay, let’s see. We left off with Ethan delivering the sticky spider silk to Yram to make his dream catcher. But he had no idea what was in the package Yram so badly wanted him to deliver. He imagined it was something so important and necessary that she’d die without it. He ended up running all the way from the thicket to the cave where she lived. When he got there, he noticed that he was breathing hard, but not feeling at all faint. He was very surprised with himself for running the entire way.”

  “I remember that. Tell me again what happens next.”

  “He waited patiently, and soon Yram flew in. Then she flew out quickly and back in again. She seemed worried about something, so he asked her, ‘Yram, is everything okay?’

  “‘Wonderful, my friend. I just wanted to make sure no uninvited guests had come.’”

  “Zerko and Zilla, right?” Danny blurts out.

  “That’s right. Yram explained to Ethan, ‘I have a few cousins who love to play jokes. They don’t understand why I’m spending so much time with a human.’

  “‘Because we’re friends, right?’ Ethan asked.

  “‘Right,’ she answered.

  “And then Ethan asked, ‘What is this package for?’

  “Yram said, �
��Ethan, I am in the process of making something very special for you. It’s called a dream catcher. It will help you to hang on to your good and believe in it.’”

  “What does she mean by that?” Danny asks.

  “I sort of made it up. She used a big word, accompany or accomplishing or something like that. But what she means by good are the things you really want to have happen in your life, and the dream catcher will help you hang on to that so you don’t get too disappointed and forget about it . . . or so other people won’t talk you out of it. Anyway, Ethan then asked to see it, the silk he had brought.

  “Yram carefully unwrapped the silk, just enough to show Ethan. She then said to him, ‘I need you to do one more thing before I can use this. I want you to think about what it felt like as you were racing through the thicket and toward my home. Try and remember how your legs and heart and whole body felt and what you felt inside.’ Well, Ethan had to think hard, and what he mostly remembered was wanting to get the package to Yram as fast as he could. But then he played the ending part over in his mind and said, ‘When I reached your cave, I felt my heart beating real fast, and I knew I wasn’t going to faint. It just made me feel stronger. I even wanted to race outside and run around. I kept telling myself that it’s true, I can run!’

  “Yram lit up really bright, she flew in tight circles, and then told Ethan to say, ‘I am strong, I can run fast’ again and again while remembering what it felt like. Ethan did this, and when he did, he got all excited because it felt so real to him, and at that moment, Yram lit up again, but this time she grabbed the silk threads, and the threads also started to light up and then turned to the color of gold.” I pause and look over at Danny.

  “Wow, that’s really cool.”

  “I know. It’s one of my favorite parts.” I take a few moments to think about it some more before continuing. “And then Yram told Ethan it was time for him to return home and that she would work to finish the dream catcher. Ethan walked and ran and made it safely to his room. He crawled in bed and was filled with a wonderful feeling of success. He lay in bed and saw himself rising in the morning and walking into the kitchen and showing off his smooth walking. Just as he was about to close his eyes to sleep, he caught sight of a small brightness moving about. ‘Yram,’ he called out. The light flew in tight circles, and something about it did not seem like Yram at all. Then another appeared . . . and another. He sat up, feeling uneasy. Finally, he flipped on his bed light. He saw three tiny beings dressed in green. They skipped and danced around. They were also fairies.”