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Red Wine For Miss Parker - Another very romantic Comedy (Delicious Regency by Ruby Royce, Book 2)

Page 5

by Royce, Ruby


  She grunted like a maniac and was so shocked and delighted by her own frivolities that she had to bite into her diary's leather binding.

  "You have a beautiful laugh. I'm saddened that you've not shown it to me before."

  With a loud shriek Flora propelled herself into a standing position.

  The princely private's prodigal proprietor was right at her feet. Well, that's where his spectacular pectorals were, his head was rather at the level of her shins.

  Without warning, the words came pouring out of her.

  "Your Royal Highness! I thought you were dead! In bed! But it is good that you are not for I have to tell you that you must believe me when I say that I have longed to ask for your forgiveness about what happened, I had not expected you to sit so close and there was all the blood and you said I was an accursed witch and I had so hoped to apologise to you but I guessed you might not ever wish to hear of me again after I had broken you nose and…" shut up, Flora, you idiot, shut up "…ruined your wonderful uniform, which I will reimburse of course, even though I believe that salt and cold water should do the job and you will be able to wear it again and I also hope you will not have me arrested and executed, I honestly did not want to do you any harm and I am most certainly no revolutionary, I would never be able to send anybody to the guillotine, although I have often wondered whether they decapitated people with their wigs on or without…" SHUT UP, FLORA, SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!!! "..and why are you here anyway, should you not be resting? It can't be any good for your injuries or for your health to swim such distances in the cold morning air? I would advise you to get out of the water and after some rest have yourself taken home by a boat, we have quite a lot of those and I am so sorry, I know I should be silent now, but whenever I am nervous my mouth just keeps going on and on and on. If I were the heroine of a novel, I would be one of those heroines who'd cause every sensible reader to ask the author why on earth the hero should be attracted to such an annoying woman. I am not usually like this, as you will remember, I hardly spoke a word at the opera and NO! PLEASE DON'T!"

  The diary must have fallen to the ground and lay open on the page where Flora had tested her signature as Archduchess of Lombardy. She could only look on in horror as the Prince, with a faint smile on his face, turned his eyes to it.

  The smile left his face as soon as he saw what she had written.

  Oh no, oh no, oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no!

  "I never… I never…," she gasped. "It was… only a joke!"

  His mouth twitched. "Oh, was it?" he said bitterly.

  Flora's heart raged and hammered. She wished she would faint but she did not! No, she had to endure the dreadful shame fully aware!

  He was staring at her now, his blue eyes cold. All she could do was stare back. To her absolute terror, she felt another onslaught of verbal incontinence and her lips were about to part when a thunderous voice echoed from the mountains.

  "WILL YOU COME BACK, YOU IMPOSSIBLE ANIMAL! THIS IS NOT LAKE LEMAN AND YOU DO NOT KNOW THE WATERS! MR. WIMPLE, YOU ARE NO COMPETENT SWIMMER, RETURN AT ONCE! AH, THERE YOU ARE, MISS PARKER!!! WATCH OUT, MR. WIMPLE WILL WANT TO— "

  Flora whirled around. A big, speckled white cannonball came shooting towards her at incredible speed. Two yards away from her, it managed to gain altitude and flung itself into her arms. The impact took Flora off her feet and she was catapulted into the water.

  Flora could not tell top from bottom anymore.

  Frantically she moved her arms and legs but her dress, now soaked with water, was pulling at her. There was no footing, no air!

  Then one of her fingers touched something. Something smooth and curved!

  Like the greek statues they have at Seventree! (Flora secretly patted their backsides whenever she visited Gigi at the ducal residence — but that remains between the author and the reader…)

  There were most likely no statues in the water here so she held on to whatever it was and pulled herself towards it. She opened her eyes and what she saw through the green haze made her close them again.

  That again! Princely indeed!

  At least, now she knew where "up" was and she managed to get her head out of the water for an instant before her dress pulled her down once more.

  Two strong hands grabbed her and brought her back to the surface.

  She put her arms around the Prince's neck quite unashamedly.

  To avoid sinking down… What else?

  A desperate cry came from the park. "Mr. Wimple! Papa is coming to save you!"

  General Cartwright crashed into to water not far away from them and soon re-emerged with the Cartwright's obese basset hound in his arms.

  "Now Miss Parker, that was very irresponsible of you, I must scold you," the giant man said through his giant beard. "The poor animal has only recently been introduced to the joys of the aquatic sports."

  "I'm very sorry Sir," Flora sputtered, "I had not expected him to run this fast."

  "Oh yes!" The General raised the dog's face towards his own and placed a kiss onto the animal's forehead. "He has become quite an athlete now that he is free from his intestinal ailment. He lost over two pounds! These Swiss docteurs are miracle workers, dear Miss Flora. — But what of you, Sir! What gives you the impertinence to stand around here in full undress, strapping the little Miss Parker against you as if she were a monkey?"

  "I…" the Prince was obviously at a loss for words.

  Flora was not. Sometimes even being a blabbermouth came in handy.

  "Please, Sir, may I introduce his Royal Highness, the Archduke of Lombardy."

  "Ah! Karlsburg! Now there's a nice looking chap! Good to meet you, Highness, I met your brothers Joseph and Karl, they led a nice regiment back in the days of the old bonny-party! Nice regiment. Excellent horses. Did you know that the regular war horse of the middle ages was a lombard horse? You know, the knight's destriers!"

  "This is Baron General Cartwright, her Grace's father," Flora explained.

  What's that pressing agains my thigh?

  The Prince had some difficulty regaining his composure, Flora noticed.

  "Pleasure to meet you, Excellency."

  "Are you two engaged?"

  "WHAT? NO!" Flora exclaimed and wiggled in protest.

  "No, General," the Prince moaned, "our current position is only the result of several unfortunate events and I suggest you alight from the water and have our charges dried."

  Why can he not "alight from the water"? Does he want to get away so desperately?

  "Water? Indeed!" The General tenderly put Mr. Wimple down at the grassy ridge and smiled at him adoringly, then, like a walrus, he pushed himself out of the water, shook himself and picked the dog back up. "See you at luncheon!"

  With a few long strides he was gone.

  "WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS NOISE?" a new voice thundered and Flora saw Dominic St. Yves rushing through the park towards them. She felt the Prince's muscles tense.

  "Beloved cousin." His voice sounded like poison.

  "Miss Parker!" Dominic stopped short, taking in the picture of her in a clinging dress, clinging to the Prince, who clung back, in no dress whatsoever. There was a lot of clinging to be seen.

  "FRANCIS!"

  "I can explain it all, Your Grace," Flora began but was interrupted.

  "Welcome to Italy, Dominic," Francesco snarled.

  "What. Is. The. Meaning. Of. This?" Dominic repeated very slowly but menacingly.

  "Miss Parker and I went for a swim, the water is very nice really… you know how fond I am of bathing. It keeps the unpleasant odours away. But I have to confess, right now, I smell a stench of self-righteousness wafting over from I don't know where."

  "You've always been an impertinent swine, Francis. Miss Parker is our ward. I will not have her reputation and honour damaged by a Casanova like you."

  "I'm not much of a Casanova. Me and Romeo have never been friends…"

  "Oh, Casanova!" chirped Flora. "I love his books!"

  The Prince ra
ised a shocked eyebrow. "I don't believe his works should have been in your curriculum, Miss Parker. — Well, Dominic, your literary taste is eclectic, I know, and I am charmed by the compliment. Comparing me to such an enlightened, intelligent and daring man! That reminds me, haven't you been friends with the Marquis de Sade, Dominic? I remember hearing a lot about you, how to put it, debauching with him during your Grand Tour. I envy you the connection, alas, even he had to die."

  "You've always talked to much," the Duke hissed. "Miss Parker, give me your hand, I'll pull you out."

  "Who is the Marquis de Sade?" Flora asked trying to turn her face towards the Duke without letting go and being pulled down again. The Prince, who was as tall as the Duke, was well able to stand. The water only reached up to his magnificent collarbones.

  "I could have sworn you'd been his pupil," he said.

  "Why?" Flora managed to push herself a little further away from him without losing her grip.

  "Thank God," the Prince murmured.

  He doesn't want me near! Well, of course he doesn't, after reading my diary he must think I'm crazy. To fantasise about being his wife.

  Dominic cleared his throat. "Never mind, Miss Parker. Come, give me your hand, I'll pull you out. You can explain your predicament once you're dry. Eugenia will have a word to say about this, I'm sure. At the moment she's busy setting up her parents' accommodations. They've arrived this morning, much to our surprise."

  He held out his hand towards Flora when yet another angry male person stomped towards the lake.

  "Surrey! I have to talk to you. This cannot go on!"

  It was Darlington.

  "Whatever it is, Darl, keep it for later and help me get Miss Parker out of the water."

  "Thank you, that's very kind of you, Your Grace."

  The Earl reached them. "You cannot ignore your sister's behaviour, it is unheard of!"

  "I have four sisters…" the Duke grumbled.

  "Only one of them is here, Dominic…" Francesco said rather gratuitously.

  "Yes, so what about Clara?"

  "She's behaving like a hellion! She's rude, she's pert, her vocabulary is very untoward, all of this is tremendously unbecoming and I must strongly oppose to her education." Flora had never seen the Earl of Darlington as agitated as that. She had not thought him capable of such rage!

  "You've been very negligent in overseeing her upbringing, Dominic, it is your duty to make sure she's not turning into a hoyden!"

  The Duke faced the Earl, forgetting about Flora.

  "This is none of your business, James. I have always taken good care of my sisters."

  "Hear, hear…" Francesco chuckled.

  Darlington's eyes shot arrows at the Prince "You, of all people, should stay out of this. If I'm not mistaken, it's you we have to thank for her attitudes."

  "Oh, yes, of course, it was the savage from abroad who ruined the darling girl!"

  "Shut up, the both of you!" Surrey shouted. "My sister Clara is grown up, she has been in society for over a year, I'm not to be held accountable for her behaviour."

  "Yes, you are, she's not twenty-one, she's not married and if she goes on the way she does, she'll never find a husband!" Darlington shouted back.

  "Of course, she will. She has a dowry of fifty-thousand pounds!"

  Flora grimaced, thinking of her own one-thousand pound dowry.

  Darlington continued. "Aha! Open up the debtors prison, Lady Clara is on the market! She swears like the postillion but look at all the money!"

  "She's very pretty, too" Francesco remarked.

  Flora felt a rush of jealousy coming over her. She wanted to get out of the water. It was starting to get cold.

  "Would somebody please get me out?" she pleaded, but nobody was paying any attention to her.

  "My wife swears like a postillion, and look where it got her."

  "You are so haughty it's unbearable!" Darlington raged.

  Francesco nodded. "I second that."

  Surrey's cheeks were bright red. "Have you forgotten who you're talking too? I'm the Duke of Surrey!"

  Francesco whooped. "I'm the Prince of Karlsburg! I win!"

  Darlington snorted. "I wish you weren't always this egotistical, Surrey! But I guess it is fruitless to discuss anything with you that does not concern you personally. Your youngest sister should concern you personally, though."

  "Yes, but she should not concern YOU!" the Duke was screaming into the Earls face. The two lords were facing each other like two raging bulls about to hit their heads together.

  "Oh NO? Somebody has to to point it out! I can't stand to watch it any longer!"

  "And what is it to you?"

  "I'm simply pointing it out!"

  "I think you are assuming, my Lord! By what right do you think you may criticise my sister?"

  "I care for her! Something you obviously don't do!"

  "YOU CARE FOR HER?" The Duke shoved the Earl.

  "YES I DO!" The Earl shoved back.

  "YOU? YOU? WHO NEVER CARES ABOUT ANYTHING?" The Duke shoved the Earl again.

  "THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Darlington was white as chalk. Flora held her breath.

  "NO?" Surry was obviously fuming.

  "IS THAT SO HEARD TO UNDERSTAND? I'M WORRIED ABOUT CLARA'S PROSPECTS! SHE'LL NEVER FIND A WORTHY HUSBAND LIKE THIS!"

  "WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HER YOURSELF THEN?"

  "FINE! I WILL!"

  "YOU WILL?"

  "YES, I WILL, I SWEAR BY GOD!"

  Both men stared at each other in stunned silence and disbelief.

  Flora, who had been frozen by the threat of violence that had hung in the air between James Crawford and Dominic St. Yves, sighed in bewilderment.

  There's this weird thing poking me again. Now into my belly. What is it?

  Her attention returned to the Prince and she found him gazing at her as if from far away.

  Suddenly, she was more aware of his hard body than ever. She had not noticed how close she must have held on to him while the two men had been fighting, but now she realised she had actually wrapped her legs around him.

  "This is shocking! The poor girl!" she exclaimed weakly.

  "What? Who?" the Prince asked, looking almost stupid. His chest was heaving.

  What's wrong with him?

  "Clara of course."

  "Why? What happened to Clara?"

  Is he sick again? Maybe his head injuries were worse, maybe he's going to die after all, maybe— are those his hands on my buttocks? Have they been there long? Oh, Lord! Is that his, his, his, his I-can't-even-think-the-word-now that is poking me?

  Flora had never been happier for wearing pantalettes.

  "I'll have to leave for London immediately," Darlington said sternly.

  "We'll be back in September," the Duke replied just as seriously. "I expect you to have your affairs in order by then."

  "Yes. Please inform your sister of our arrangement."

  "I will."

  Flora heard them, but she did not really understand what was being said. She was too occupied with her own situation. She did not even notice how the Earl walked away.

  Her inside had begun pulsating. There was a strange yearning in her, a magnetic pull towards the Prince, she felt incomplete as if something had to be done right now. Something basic. Something primeval.

  "Come now, Miss Parker." A third hand took hold of her and she was pulled out of the water like a pike on the rod. "I'll ask a servant to get you some clothes, Francis. I will have both of your explanations."

  "Oh, what a relief," the Prince groaned. Flora's blood ran ice cold.

  Francesco shook himself a little, then he looked up. "It was that monstrous dog! He is to be blamed for all of this, for this predicament. He jumped against her and she fell into the water. I had to save her, had I not? I'm sure you would not have wanted a dead ward on your hands?"

  "Mr. Wimple?" the Duke asked. "He could not jump if his life depended on it."

  "Oh, yes!" Flora said through clatt
ering teeth. "He's been exercising!"

  "He came running down the hill! It was a terrible sight!" Francesco insisted.

  Dominic gave Flora a little shove. "Off you go, Miss Parker. I'll interrogate Mr. Wimple as soon as I get hold of him. He and I have always been on excellent terms."

  Flora began walking towards the house. She dripped like, well, like a wet dog. Unfortunately, shaking did not seem an option for her. She intended to keep a last bit of dignity. Surrey followed close behind.

  As they rounded the house, Clara came hastening towards them.

  "I heard loud screaming! It sounded as if you had been fighting with James and I thought that could not be possible, but he just asked his valet to pack!"

  "Has he said anything to you?"

  "No. Of course not, he only ever talks to me when he thinks he has to scold me. It's really quite annoying---"

  "Spare me, please. You can discuss that with him once you're married."

  "Me? I? Who?"

  "Darlington and yourself. You'll be getting married in September."

  Clara simply stared and Flora thought that now she looked rather like a pike, a pike on dry land, helplessly wagging it's fins, yapping.

  "Sheesh, I feel like I'm herding geese! In with you, Miss Parker!" the Duke commanded and Flora unwillingly proceeded inside.

  Ten

  Palazzo Sforza, about half an hour later

  For the second time in a month, Francesco found himself in Dominic St. Yves clothes. It was really quite amazing how well they fitted him.

  English tailoring…

  He suddenly felt a strong nostalgia for that rainy isle where he had spent so many years off his youth…for its crankiness and its irony, behind which there lay such a deep sense of honour.

  Strange. All I had ever longed for was leaving England. And now, after years of travelling the world I find myself yearning to go back, to live the life of a country gentleman, on a nice estate, with some horses and some hounds and with…

 

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