Without A Pail

by Michelle Marra

  Jill was stressed, this schedule was killing her and Jackie had asked her to hire an assistant, someone like her that could do what she does…but she was having none of it and the mere mention of it gave them something else to bicker about. So she just let it be. Their schedules were horribly mismatched, and it terrified her that they would grow apart and the relationship would eventually fizzle and that sickening question would be asked or maybe even assumed – can we still be friends? The thought of it made Jackie shudder…friends? There was no way she could watch someone else touch Jill. “No fucking way!” she said aloud catching her sister off guard and producing a questioning gaze directed her way.

  “Sorry,” Jackie said as she stood from the dinette table and stuffed her cases into her satchel. “Can you look after Molly? I’m going to go get my woman and take her to dinner.”

  “Sure.” Joni smiled at the determined look on her sister’s face. “Molly and I have become quite good friends.”

  “Thanks,” Jackie grabbed her coat, stepped into her snow boots and thundered down the steps. “I’m taking the Jeep.”

  Jason’s eyes grew large when he heard the testament and the door shut. “She does know how to drive a stick right?” His questioning eyes landed on Joni’s bemused face.

  “She can ride a motorcycle and shift that…I’m sure there’s not a big difference between the two.” A broad grin crossed her face as she watched him hurry to the window just in time to watch as his Jeep sped away on the slush-covered street.

  “Don’t worry Babe…she won’t wreck it.”

  “I’m here to see Jillian Warner,” Jackie stood at the reception desk pulling off her gloves then rubbing her hands together in an effort to warm them up.

  “Who can I tell her is here?” The name tag read ‘Barb’ and Jackie smiled at her, “Tell Jill her girlfriend is here.” The corners of her mouth turned up into a mischievous grin, it was strangely hot to tell the twenty-something receptionist that Jill, her boss, had a girlfriend. She wasn’t sure she was “out” at work, but since she ran the shelter and was the main benefactor, Jackie was pretty sure no one would care. But the coy look on Barb’s face was priceless when she picked up her walkie-talkie.

  “Jill, you have a visitor.”

  “Who is it?” Jill’s voice filled with annoyance.

  “She didn’t give me her name, but she’s a little blonde chippy claiming to be your girlfriend.”

  “Be right down.”

  “Cougar,” Barb snickered as she spoke the word into the small black talk box.

  Jackie grinned as she shrugged off her coat, it was ridiculously warm in the waiting area and the thermal coat she had on was making her sweat.

  She didn’t hear a response from the other end which could mean Jill was embarrassed or pissed off. She hoped neither, this was a surprise just to steal her away for an hour or so, she wanted to see her girlfriend since they have been missing each other for the last two weeks, even the weekends had been inundated with things to do at the shelter and Jackie was really missing time with Jill. The girl behind the reception desk cleared her throat pulling Jackie from her thoughts.

  “So…girlfriend huh? Like as in, girlfriend…girlfriend?”

  Jackie regarded the girl across the reception desk, “Um…yes. Like as in lesbians.”

  “Oh…okay, cool. I didn’t know Jill was gay, not that I care or anything.”

  “Guess she’s never talks about me,” Jackie said matter of fact as she leaned her hip into the desk and rested her arm on the counter top.

  “Well, she really doesn’t talk about anything personal…everything is all about the animals.”

  “She is very driven and that is one of the things I love about her,” Jackie’s face lit up when she saw a disheveled dark haired woman round the corner and come toward her displaying an equally bright and wide grin.

  “What are you doing here?” Jill pulled the blonde into an embrace, “Sorry, I really smell today.”

  Jackie released the hug making a face to indicate she agreed with Jill’s last statement. She reeked of dog shit and dog food…not a great combination of smells.

  “Oh and Barb, you should remember to turn off the mic to your walkie-talkie and yes, it is always about the animals here.”

  The stern look she gave the receptionist sent a chill down Jackie’s spine and she had to stifle a giggle when she saw the look of a chastised child on the poor girls face.

  When Jill completed her lecture, she spun on her heel to face the amused blonde. “So my dear, why are you here? Not that I’m complaining, it is really nice to see you.”

  “I wanted to steal you away for an hour to feed you. Hungry?”

  “What time is it?” Jill routed through her pockets looking for her phone.

  “It a little after 7:00 p.m. Let’s go to the Burger Hut down the block.”

  “Jack, I can’t go anywhere looking like this. I look and smell like shit…literally.”

  “Ah…but you can. I brought you a change of clothes. They won’t do anything for that messy mop on your head…ouch,” Jackie giggled when Jill smacked her on the shoulder. “Come on Babe, just an hour.”

  Jill sighed as she regarded the adorable pout on her girlfriend's face before she relented. “Fine.”

  “Don’t let me twist your arm or anything.” This time Jackie dodged the swinging hand.

  “Theresa, can you hold down the fort for an hour or so? I’m going to get a bite with my girlfriend.”

  {Silence}

  Jill shook her head and glared at Jackie, “Yes…everyone I have a girlfriend. Her name is Jackie Evans and she is one of the best lawyers in New York. Oh, and if you have any questions, concerns or issues with that, please set up an appointment with me through Barb, and I will be happy to address them.” Jill yanked the paper bag from Jackie’s outstretched hand, “I’ll be right back.”

  Jackie’s nose crinkled up when she kissed Jill’s hand as they sat in a booth at the Burger Hut waiting for their orders. “Babe, I washed my hands four times. It is hard to get dog stink from them. Speaking of ‘dog,’ where’s Molly.”

  “Oh, she’s hanging with Joni and Jason. Joni certainly has taken a shine to that furry beast. If I didn’t know any better, I would say she loves the dog more than Jason and I can guarantee she loves the dog more than she loves me.”

  “Stop being dramatic. How are the wedding plans going? I’m really sorry I haven’t been much help lately.”

  “Jill, don’t worry about it. At least one of us can stay sane during this…I hope you won’t put me away after she drives me crazy.”

  “Don’t be silly. Give me a kiss.” Jill leaned over the table and Jackie eagerly met her half way to receive a soft and sweet kiss. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too. Um, my case is going to settle. No court.”

  Jill’s face bore a wide grin, “Really…that’s great. I know you could really use a little time not working into wee hours of the morning.”

  “Yes…I could certainly use a break and a day with my girl,” Jackie looked across the table hopefully. “Let’s go to the Poconos. Snuggle by a warm fire, sip spiked hot chocolate and laugh at the beginners in skis when they fall on their faces,” Jackie paused for a moment trying to read Jill’s eyes. “It’ll be a blast; make love in the hot tub, sleep late, get room service.”

  “What about Molly?” Jill’s eyes skittered around the restaurant, she was having difficulties looking into Jackie’s hopeful eyes.

  “Joni said she’d take care of her and Casey said she would pitch in too. Come on Jill, one night…just you and me.”

  “I don’t know if I can get the time.”

  “Wait, don’t you run that place? Practically own it? Surely you can take one day.”

  “It’s not that, of course, I could take a day, but this is prime time and they need me.”

  “Jill, can’t someone fill in for you? Please…you need this, we need this.”

  Jill
opened her mouth to wage an argument but clamped her lips shut when the waitress brought their colossal burgers, fries and large chocolate shakes. “Can I get you ladies anything else?” Her smile was big and bright and her focus directed to Jackie.

  “Um, no we’re good,” Jackie’s face turned crimson when the waitress winked at her before walking away.

  A silly smirk crossed Jackie’s features and before she could think it wasn’t a good idea, the words fell from her lips, “I bet she’d go to the Poconos with me.” She instantly regretted the statement when she watched Jill’s face fall and a hurt expression take its place, it sounded funnier in her head.

  “Hey, I was just joking,” Jackie half laughed trying to keep the air between them light.

  Jill shook her head as she stuffed a french fry in her mouth. “Whatever.”

  “Really, Jill. I was just kidding. You know I only want you. I love you.”

  “Just eat your burger, I’ll see what I can do about clearing my schedule for a day. Maybe I can get the manager Theresa to cover for me.”

  A wide grin splayed across Jackie’s face as she picked up her hamburger and examined it carefully to ensure there was no cheese on it before taking a bite.

  “So how’s everything at the shelter?” Jackie mumbled out still chewing the bite she previously took. “I haven’t seen you much to talk.”

  Jill regarded the woman across from her and envied her carefree attitude. She knew Jackie’s job was stressful too, but it seemed she was able to not let the stress get to her outside the office. God how she envied the ability to compartmentalize things, Jackie certainly had a knack for it. Maybe it’s her age. But the thought was quickly negated when she recalled herself at thirty-something. So in an effort not to be the sad-sack, she would keep her emotions out of it and just report on the details.

  “Um…it’s been hectic. But the ‘return’ season is just about over.”

  Jackie looked quizzically at her girlfriend while sipping from her milkshake, “Return season…what’s that mean?”

  Jill shook her head as she closed her eyes willing herself not to cry. She had the same question a few months ago when she took over running the shelter. It was sickening to hear the explanation of the term and realize the reality of the inhumanity that exists. It sickens her every day she has to look at the pathetic and scared faces of the animals discarded because someone didn’t think their stupid gift idea through.

  “It’s a term we use to reference the time after the holiday season when people surrender animals they have gotten as Christmas presents.”

  Jackie stopped in mid-chew as she narrowed her eyes across the table at her girlfriend. Surely she heard wrong. “That’s really a thing?”

  “Yup.”

  “Oh dear God…those poor animals. Do you get a lot?”

  Jill let out a cocky snort, “Hundreds.”

  Jackie closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn’t believe how cruel some people could be, heartless. “People suck!”

  “Indeed they do,” Jill responded as she took another bite of her jalapeño bacon cheeseburger. “Let’s change the subject.”

  Jackie nodded her head in full agreement, just the thought of those poor animals being taken to a shelter made her half sick, but mostly angry…angry enough to want to punch the face of someone who could actually do that to a sweet and innocent animal.

  “Should I pick Molly up tonight?”

  Jackie shook her head, her mouth full of fries. “Nuh-uh. You don’t have to, but you can come spend the night…go home in the morning.”

  “I don’t know, it’ll be really late by the time I get out of work and I don’t want to disturb Joni and Jason.”

  “Don’t worry about them, they sleep like rocks. I’ll wait up for you.”

  “I don’t know Jack…you have to get up early for work.”

  “Come on…I know a warm bed wrapped in my arms has to sound better than a cold, empty house.”

  Jill pushed her plate away as she wiped her mouth with a napkin trying to stifle the words which were bubbling to the surface. But not wanting to bring up the sore subject and cause an argument over the ‘move in’ challenge, she just smiled and said, “How could I possibly turn that offer down?”

  Jackie waggled her eyebrows suggestively and smirked without responding verbally.

  “But we are not having sex with Joni and Jason in the other room.”

  “What?” Jackie’s face contorted into a cocky pout. “Please…” she said as she reached across the table for Jill’s hand. “I can be quiet. I need your amazing mouth on me.” Then she pulled Jill’s outstretched hand to her lips while her gaze pierced into Jill’s.

  “Oh…okay. So I have to work all night only to come home and have to tend to your needs?” Jill shook her head as she feigned an appalled look on her face.

  “Well Love, then you shouldn’t be so fucking good at it,” Jackie’s focus dropped to Jill’s slender fingers as a sly grin crossed her face before pushing her tongue between them.

  A naughty smile danced across Jill’s face and she wanted to throw in a snide remark, if we lived together, we could be as loud as we wanted. But instead, she winked and said, “We’ll see.”

  Grinning across the table at her voracious lover, she sat back while the server bused the table before taking Jackie’s hand in hers and shooting the waitress a glance to let her know in a subtle and silent way to BACK OFF MY WOMAN.

  They walked arm in arm back to the shelter, trying to shield each other from the cold, the contact did little to warm them through the freezing wind.

  “So what do you think?” Jackie asked not looking at Jill, just enjoying their leisurely stroll. She was in no hurry to get back to the shelter and be away from her girlfriend. She was feeling a little lovey dovey and wanted to spend the evening wrapped in Jill’s arms.

  “Think about what Darling?”

  “Coming over after your shift?”

  Jackie’s sexy lopsided grin turned Jill’s face crimson, then her thoughts turned naughty.

  “I think you had me at the part where we would be snuggling.”

  Jackie quirked an eyebrow, “Not at the part of us getting naked?”

  “Humph…one track mind.” Jill shook her head as Jackie opened the door to the shelter allowing her to step through.

  “You know you love it,” Jackie said as she pulled Jill close to her, albeit as close as two winter coats would allow them to be. She kissed her hard on the mouth cupping her face between her gloved hands. It wasn’t the most romantic gesture, but in a New York winter, it would have to do. “I love you,” Jackie said as she winked at the receptionist whose mouth was hanging open. “I’ll wait up for you.”

  Jill watched Jackie disappear out the door, she was in love…so in love. She was wrapped around those tiny but talented little fingers. A whistle jostled her from her thoughts. “How on earth did you score that pretty young thing…aren’t you like fifty?”

  Jill winced, she knew she was a bit older and she also knew getting involved with Jackie could come with snide remarks. “No, I’m not fifty. Not yet anyway.” It was creeping up quicker than she wanted it to, being forty-six was closer to fifty than it was to forty. The age difference did weigh on her mind at times and she wondered if Jackie had an issue with it, she also wondered if that was the reason she didn’t want to share a residence. She just hoped it wasn’t something in the back of her girlfriend’s mind and would wake-up one day and decide she didn’t want to be with an older woman. Shaking the insecurities from her head she regarded the woman across the desk smirking at her and she rolled her eyes, “It was love at first sight if you must know…and yes on her end too.”

  Jill stalked off, that cocky comment pissed her off; she had half a mind to fire that stupid twit. But knew it was a childish thought, Barb had a right to her opinion although it was a tad mean and besides she was a great addition to her team. Still, the remark stung. She would get this day off and go to the Pocono
s with Jackie…they had something serious to talk about and consider. Unsure of how to broach the subject since Jackie had never made a mention of her age or their age difference. She seemed oblivious to it and Jill wasn’t sure if that was a particularly good thing or not. Jill needed Jackie to be truthful about it, if it was any concern for her she needed to know. She wondered if it was the reason Jackie was resistant to sharing a residence. But this was not the time to dwell on it, but she couldn’t help it now as it was all she could think about as she padded down the corridor to her office. First order of business would be to have a talk with her manager, Theresa and beg for the next couple days off.

  Then she laughed to herself at the thought she had to beg her subordinate, but this wasn’t the corporate world. She couldn’t just alter someone’s schedule because of her position any longer. She told Theresa when she hired her that this was a partnership, however she was the only one that could make the final decisions if it came down to it.

  Jill sat in her well-worn donated office chair, picked up her walkie-talkie and took a deep breath. “Theresa, could you come to my office please.”

  Jill debated going home after her shift, she was exhausted and it would be so much easier just to go home, have a glass of wine and fall into bed. No one would be there to balk at the smell which radiated from her body. But the fact was, no one was there…not even her dog. She couldn’t face the cold, empty apartment alone; besides, she wanted to see her girlfriend. It had been a few days since they’ve seen each other and tonight when Jackie surprised her with a visit and dinner, it made her miss even more. The only thing that sucked was she would have to tiptoe around Joni’s place since it was so late. She knew everyone would be sleeping and even though Jackie said she would wait up, chances were she would be asleep as well.