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Machine Gun Jelly (Big Bamboo Book 1)

Page 48

by Shane Norwood


  Loretta and her crew went to New Zealand for a well-earned vacation with the money that Wally gave them for their help. Except for Marilyn, they returned well rested and resumed their former activities. They can be found any Saturday night at the New Big Blue Billabong Hotel, Queensland. Marilyn met a young ski instructor from America called Davy Dupree, fell in love, and ended up living in Brian Head, Utah.

  Almost a year to the day after the events described, two tipsy college girls from Phoenix, Arizona, in town for the weekend, were blowing their allowance on the dollar blackjack tables in Binion’s Horseshoe, in downtown Vegas. During the shuffle they were speculating about a small, dark figure sitting at the bar behind them, staring into a glass of bourbon and a half-empty schooner of beer.

  “It’s him, for sure.”

  “It can’t be, Alice. Just look at his clothes. He’s wearing rags. And he smells.”

  “I’ll bet he’s incognito. He doesn’t want to be recognized.”

  “Are you out to lunch, or what?”

  “No. I’m serious. It’s him.”

  “No more martinis for you, girlfriend.”

  “Okay, I’ll prove it. I’m going to ask him.” Alice straightened her skirt, fussed with her blond hair, and strolled over to where the man sat. He looked up as she approached, and Alice looked into his big, sad brown eyes.

  “Excuse me,” she said, “but are you Tiger Woods?”

  The man turned away from her, hung his head, and wept into his beer. As Alice walked away, embarrassed, the man was banging his head on the bar.

  Finis.

  About the Author

  A line in Ulysses reads, “Only the sacred pint can unbind the tongue of Dedalus.” Shane Norwood firmly believes this, just as he believes that it would be foolish in the extreme to argue with James Joyce. For this reason he has dedicated himself to the diligent consumption of copious amounts of booze before sitting down to write, in an effort to emulate the great ones. How successful this experiment turns out to be remains to be seen, but in the meantime it can be safely said that Shane Norwood seriously enjoys his writing.

  Shane is a devoted family man who keeps food on the tables by walking around in circles in Chile masquerading as a casino manager, and occasionally pretending to be Robert Mitchum. Shane was born in a steel town in the north of England in 1955. Shane has five children. He is engaged in a breeding competition with his eldest daughter who is currently winning six to five. Although his soul knows it is English because of the larceny that lurks therein, the rest of him is no longer sure. One daughter is American, one is from Kenya, one son is from South Africa, two sons are from Chile, his wife is from Argentina, his horse is an Arab, and his dog is Italian. At one time Shane was a fisherman in Hawaii. In his heart he still is, although he hopes that, pretty soon, he will also be able to think of himself as a writer.

  Credits

  This book is a work of art produced by Shannon & Elm,

  an imprint of The Zharmae Publishing Press.

  Sara Bangs

  Editor-in-Chief

  Tony Kuoch

  Cover Art & Design

  Eric Tate

  Copy Editor

  Amanda Kreklau

  Proofreader

  Andrew Call

  Reviewer

  Allyson Schnabel

  Managing Editor

  Travis Robert Grundy

  Publisher

  The Zharmae Publishing Press

  Spokane | May 2014

 

 

 


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