Were All Animals

by Mima

  Heading inside the building, he stopped briefly at the door to send Jolene an apologetic text then walked inside to the familiar stench of sweat and stale air, his membership pass quickly located in his wallet, he glanced around the almost empty room. Smiling toward the girl who worked there as a personal trainer, he wandered downstairs to what was referred as ‘the boxing corner’; even though it was actually a pretty large section of the gym, although underground, which seemed kind of appropriate to him.

  Noting that no one was in the room except for a skinny kid who was putting something in a gym bag, Chase headed toward the heavy bag in the corner. Removing his suit jacket and abruptly throwing it on a nearby chair, he roughly loosened his tie, slowly rolled up his sleeves in a trance-like state as anger slithered up from deep, inside him. He grabbed the first pair of boxing gloves he could find and felt the fury spreading through every inch of his body to his fingertips. Rather than to wrap his hands, he just slid them into the red gloves, noting the famous name brand in large print across the wrist, he continued to feel a rage quickening the beat of his heart. Without a second thought, he started to pummel the bag with all the ferocity that ran through his body.

  The anger roared through him like a lit match gingerly falling into a drop of gasoline; explosive and furious, he felt his body temperature rise and stopped briefly to remove the gloves, throwing them to the ground. Glancing around, he saw no one else in the room; not that it would’ve mattered. Pulling his tie apart, he threw it on top of his blazer, followed by his shirt. Underneath he wore what Kelsey referred to as a ‘wife beater’; a term he had never appreciated and picked up the gloves again.

  Closing his eyes, he had a moment of complete peace that seemed to lift him from the ground, almost allowing him to float across the room. But this moment of calmness didn’t last and was quickly followed by an intense wave of anger that sprung from places he hadn’t thought about in years; the times his mother slapped him across the face in a drunken rage, with tears running down his face, while his father sat quietly nearby, neither condoning her or defending his son, something that was more confusing than if he had taken a side. How many times had that happened and why had it seemed to be easier and easier for his mother to do each time, eventually showing no signs of remorse over her actions?

  He feared her being around his sons, but when he explained why to Audrey, she had acted as though he exaggerated and that his mother would never hit her grandchildren. Claiming to be an expert in psychology, she had diminished his concerns as if he were a hysterical man, exaggerating the facts. As usual, he was treated as if he were valueless and irrelevant. Once again, he was belittled, this time in front of his three children, as she laughed and told him to stop being a pussy.

  He hadn’t even realized he was hitting the heavy bag again until a gasp from behind pulled him from his blind rage, as he turned to see a young woman wearing glasses and an unflattening workout ensemble entered the room. He laughed in spite of himself while she appeared almost frightened, as the trainer from upstairs followed her down the stairs, only appearing slightly alarmed by the sweating man, wearing a business wear from the waist down, and a sweat filled muscle shirt on his upper body. He was tempted to rip it off but thought that might come across more dramatic than intended but after noticing the glasses lady’s look of disapproval, he shot her an angry look and just did that; grabbing the thin material with the claw-like gloves, he ripped it off, tossing it in the corner and made his way back to the heavy bag.

  The next round was hardly subtle and rather than tiring out, he instead seemed to be increasing his vigor and fury, as thoughts of his ex-wife disappeared and were replaced by Maggie; how hard had he tried to be her friend, even after she left? He had even avoided her sister when she asked, distancing himself from her both physically and mentally, only to be discarded, rather than allowed to know her vulnerable, most personal secrets? Hadn’t he told her all of his? Wasn’t that what women claim to want? Men to be vulnerable and honest and yet, when they were, it seemed to almost repel women, as if it were unnatural unless you were on a movie screen.

  Then there was Kelsey. This thought made him halt his movement as sadness filled him. He had tried to help her. He had tried to stop her from making a huge mistake, writing it off with no judgment as being an impulsive and inexperienced move, attempting to help her move on with her life and get a fair shake. Yet, she only went back to Bud and made a movie - or movies, he wasn’t even sure how many were out there? Who had she done them with? It made him as sad as it made him angry. He felt a flood of despair overrun the anger and for a minute, he thought tears would take over where the fury had so abruptly ended, but they didn’t. Instead, he felt a calmness return, as he looked across the now, empty room.

  Removing the gloves, his hands stiff, he gingerly returning them to where they gathered in a collection, he calmly walked back to his ripped muscle shirt and picked it up, followed by the rest of his clothes and headed toward the locker room, where he, fortunately, had some soap, deodorant, and a towel. It wasn’t until he was in the shower and the hot water was pounding against his skin that he felt weak as if his emotional morning had drained every fiber of his strength, as it ran off his body and down the drain. He felt nothing; no anger, no sadness, just nothing.

  Once out of the shower, he dried off and put his clothes back on, throwing the ripped muscle shirt in the garbage. He felt lighter, relaxed, as he walked back upstairs, passing the lady trainer on his way out. She gave him a sincere smile and wished him a good day. He halted for a minute, looked in her eyes and said, ‘thank you’ before walking out the door.

  Although the spring air was warming up, a dry chill wasn’t completely gone and he was thankful for putting his blazer back on, even though he originally didn’t think he would need it. People rushed by him, cars moved slowly on the street and the smell of urine seemed to suddenly be everywhere but he didn’t care. He walked back to work, only glancing at his phone briefly, knowing that Jolene wasn’t upset and Maggie sent a few frantic texts that he wasn’t ready to deal with yet.

  Back in the office, Jolene was sitting behind the desk. Her expression was solemn when he entered the room. For a minute, he feared she would fire him after learning the damaging information that morning or after walking out of the coffee shop. Instead, there was some concern in her eyes.

  “Are you Ok?” she showed no expression but he sensed her questions was sincere rather than just a pleasantry to gap between an awkwardness and what she really wanted to say. Her dark eyes watched his intently and her face was relaxed. She wasn’t anxiously tapping her nails on the desk or fighting off anger, so that was a good sign.

  “I am now.”

  “What did you do?” She asked. “Or should I ask such a question?”

  Chase couldn’t help but let out a short laugh. “I went to the gym. Hit a punching bag. Scared some chick then took a shower and here I am.”

  “How did you scare this, how do you say, this chick?” She wrinkled her eyebrows.

  “Oh,” He let out a laugh. “Sorry, there was a woman who saw me hitting the punching bag and I scared her.”

  “It is a gym, no? Wouldn’t that be ok? I mean, would that be what you do at a gym?”

  Chase took a deep breath and broke out in a rare smile. “I was hitting it pretty hard.”

  “Were you wearing that?” She pointed at his tie.

  “I took off my shirt and tie,” He admitted.

  “Ohhh…maybe she like?” Jolene teased and winked at him.

  “No,” Chase continued to smile, his whole body relaxing as he sat down in the chair across from Jolene. “Nah, I don’t think so. I think she thought I was an animal.”

  “You know, Chase,” Jolene spoke thoughtfully. “We’re all animals. Some of us are cute, cuddly and some of us are wild and crazy. But most of the time, we are all of these things, you know?”

  He smi
led and nodded.

  “We are complicated. Life is complicated. No?”

  He nodded again.

  “This situation from this morning, I do not blame you for walking out,” Jolene commented airily. “I slap her for you.”

  Chase felt his eyes double in size. “What? You slapped, who?”

  “Kelsey, I slap her for you,” Jolene spoke confidently. “She was being an idiota. I slap her hard.”

  Chase was stunned. “You slapped Kelsey? In the middle of the coffee shop?”

  “No, in the ladies room.” She spoke nonchalantly. “After you leave, I say we should come back to the office. I told her to talk to Maggie. She did not want to and that was a final straw for me, so I told her we should visit the lady’s room and when we got there, I slap her across the face.”

  Chase was silent, still shocked by her words. Was he misunderstanding her?

  “I tell her to get skinny, white puta ass back to this office,” Jolene spoke sternly, loudly tapping her fingernail on the desk. Her face was tight, her eyes black and she pursed her lips. “I say, you go talk to your sister and you do not tell her about Chase and the movies. But you do tell her that he tried to help you and you were too stupid to listen. I tell her either she walk in on her own or I would drag her back every step of the way by her hair.” She grasped her hands together and then regained her composure. “She did as I tell.”

  Chase heard himself laugh. He hadn’t even realized it was coming until it did and then, he almost couldn’t stop. He wanted to hug Jolene for her passion and intensity, but instead just thanked her.

  “No, no thanks, it was necessary. This is too much drama, Chase. These girls bring me too much drama,” She shook her head. “I tell Maggie that she needs to deal with her sister at her own time. We do not have time for this here and Kelsey, after she talk to Maggie, I do not want to see her again. Goodbye,” she waved toward the invisible person at the door. “Go away, I do not want to see again. Maggie is working two jobs and isn’t usually available to me, so she need to think what she want.”

  Chase nodded and saw exactly what Jolene was talking about. Everything she said made sense but he still couldn’t believe how she treated Kelsey and when he commented on that, she merely shrugged.

  “She lucky that the police wanted to talk to her today so I could not leave a bruise.”

  To that, he fell into hysterics and she began to giggle with him. Neither said a thing for a few minutes until Jolene finally spoke.

  “Chase your heart, it is big, but you cannot help people like that. I know you want, but,” she stopped mid-sentence and shook her head. “It is not good, you know?”

  “I know,” he nodded and glanced down at his tie. “I was thinking the same thing.”

  “Good. We learn lessons today.”

  “We learned some lessons today.”

  “We learn lessons today.” She attempted to correct his grammar incorrectly and to that, he smiled. How could you argue with a woman who just slapped someone for you?

  CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

  It wasn’t that Jolene had an issue with the movies, as Chase would later discover. After a long, hectic day of catching up at work, the two sat in a quiet restaurant for a late dinner and a glass of wine. Not normally a drinker, it was definitely a welcomed treat after a day that was both emotionally and mentally draining; first from his commotion with Kelsey in the morning and later from the vast amount of arrangements both he and Jolene had to rush to organize.

  The company’s parties were becoming more and more popular; who knew so many women were interested in ‘exploring their sexuality’ as Jolene tactfully put it. He often wondered if she was one of these women but somehow doubted it. Then again, she was a woman of mystery and he really didn’t know much about her life outside of work. If she was married, she wore no ring. If she had kids, she had no pictures on her desk and made no reference to them. Then again, he didn’t talk about his kids much at work either and in a way, he preferred that level of professionalism. That’s why he hated that Jolene knew about the movies he did for Bud. It wasn’t like he did a lot but it didn’t reflect favorably on him. It was after his second glass of wine that he attempted to approach the topic with his boss.

  “It is not important,” she shook her head and downed the last of her red wine, signalling to the approaching waitress for another glass. “Chase, you do good work for me, why would I care about your past? I think…I think it is you who cares about this more, no?”

  He considered her words briefly before nodding. “It’s not one of my proudest moments, no.” Chase hesitated when their waitress approached them and when she asked if he would like another glass of wine, he hesitantly said yes. It was after she left that he finally continued. “I can use the excuse of being young but I knew it was stupid back then.”

  “So, how do you go from working as a doorman to making such a film? I do not understand.”

  “I didn’t even know my boss was making films. I had no idea,” Chase shook his head, his wide-eyed innocence sang through even though he hadn’t realized it and he briefly smiled at the waitress as she approached with his second glass of wine. “He just talked to me about this side project and the next thing I knew, I was in a room with a naked girl, holding a camera.” He let out a short laugh. “As ridiculous and unbelievable as that sounds.”

  “Chase, I believe anything,” she seemed to relax as she drank her third glass of wine, showing no real signs of intoxication, he was a little reluctant to start drinking his own glass. “There’s a lot of crazy in the world, we just don’t always know about it. Sometimes it is what goes on behind doors that we do not know. There is a lot of business people who say their business is about one thing and stuff is going on, you know?”

  “Yes, yes I know,” Chase laughed. “I always wondered how Brad ran the bar on such little business but I was a kid and didn’t really think about it a lot. Now I realize that he probably had a lot of things going on I didn’t know about.”

  “It does happen.” Her voice was small this time and his eyes averted to her face; her lips were pursed as if she was attempting to not say something, as her eyes narrowed and she nodded slowly. He was starting to wonder if their business had some things going on behind the scenes that she wasn’t telling him and if it did, would he be in trouble if she were ever caught? Then again, was he being judgmental? Perhaps racist, assuming that since she was Columbian that there was an illegal aspect that he wasn’t aware of; since the night the woman Oded in the bathroom, he occasionally wondered if the drugs were brought in? What if there was something else going on that he wasn’t privy to, always being away from the parties?

  As if she were reading his mind, Jolene brought up the very thing that concerned him since the weekend.

  “She is OK, that lady from the party? She is OK.”

  “She is?” Chase wasn’t sure how else to respond. “You know?”

  “I check.” Her answer was simple, vague as if she didn’t want to get into details. “She OK. You save her, Chase.”

  “I didn’t save her, I took her to the hospital.”

  “Nah, you save her.” Jolene insisted as she hunched slightly in her chair, her eyes falling to the glass of wine. “He did not want me to send her to the hospital. The owner? He wanted to throw her out and hope for the best.”

  “What?” Chase was a little surprised by this comment. “The venue owner? He wanted to throw her out?”

  “Yes, he say, ‘I don’t want trouble’ and I try to tell him it did not have to be like that,” Jolene spoke solemnly, still avoiding his eyes. “That is why you save her life. You are a hero.”

  “I’m not a hero,” Chase let out a short laugh, thinking back to Lucy’s comments from when they were teenagers. “I don’t even know if I want to be. No one appreciates it.”

  “I appreciate it,” Jolene returned her gaze to h
im and gave him a small smile. “You do not do it to be appreciated. You do it because it makes you feel right. You do it because it is right. Not so that someone can pat you on the back.”

  She was right. He felt a wave of shame when he considered her words. It was never for them, it was for him. Maybe it was simply a life test that was made specifically for him.

  He nodded and didn’t reply. Taking a sip of his wine, he fell silent. Sadness filled him and he wasn’t sure why.

  “These bars do not want, I think you say, ‘blood on their hands’,” Jolene said, rubbing her hands together. “They want secretly. Just like your old boss, they want to hide things and they do no care who gets damaged. Bob wanted to put her out with the putas and junkies. He say, no one will know the difference. I say no.”

  “Your boss, Brad, in a way, he do the same. He did not care about Kelsey being a minor. He did not care about you. He cared about money. That is it. He got sloppy and he got caught. If he did not have young girls, he would not have had that problem. That is what I think,” Jolene paused as she lifted the glass of wine to her mouth. “My brother, Diego, he can be the same. That is why it is better for me to run things here. He does not care. He would agree about that lady. She would be on the street in a second if he were here.”

  “Your brother is cold?” Chase asked, only hearing about the company owner briefly, having not met him, he pictured him as an older, unfriendly Columbian man who probably was the opposite of Jolene in every way.

  “Yes, sometimes but when it comes to love, he’s a stupid man,” she gestured toward her heart. “He can be very, what you say, lead by his dick? But that is okay. He will learn.”

  Chase assumed this was her way of saying that he was a womanizer. If he was a successful businessman and had an ounce of Jolene’s attractiveness, he probably had lots of women rolling into his bed. Chase’s own desires creeping in, he was jealous of a man with so many options, when his own conquests had diminished since moving to a city.