Arcadium

by Sarah Gray

  Chapter 16

  “OH MY GOD,” I say. “You can go outside?”

  “Yeah,” Adrian grins. “I can. The staff can. But you’re not supposed to.”

  “Lucky me,” I say, peering over the side.

  “Careful. You go over and you have to go through decontamination again.”

  “And I’d probably die.” The drop must be three or four stories straight down onto concrete. I also notice the fire escape ladder, screwed into the side of the building. Even that still leaves a drop of two or three metres to the ground.

  “Yeah,” he laughs. “That too.”

  Beyond the building is a deserted car park. “The infected can’t get in here?” I say.

  Adrian leans his palms on the ledge. “See that fence over there with the barbed wire?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s electrified. So yeah, this is a no go zone for infected individuals.”

  “What about that one?” I point to the perimeter fence that leads onto the back of some properties.

  “Nah, we don’t have any trouble from behind the houses. Just the main roads.”

  I turn around and look at the space. The rooftop is small, with just a few benches and an ashtray half-filled with cigarette butts. “Where do they get smokes from?”

  “There’s a vending machine in the scientist quarters but eventually it’ll run out. You smoke?”

  I shake my head and sit on one of the benches. “How do you feed this many people? Where do you get the food from?”

  “Um, all over Melbourne there are these secret bunkers with emergency supplies hidden away. Things like tinned food, medical supplies, water and…”

  I quirk an eyebrow. “These nifty uniforms?”

  Adrian looks up and cracks a smile. “Yeah. Exactly. Hey, you hungry?”

  I shrug.

  He looks away, tapping his foot against the leg of the bench. “Real food, I mean. Not that slop you have to eat.”

  I stare at the ground for a moment. “How?”

  Adrian just grins and begins to back away. “Wait here. I’ll be ten minutes.”

  I stand up suddenly. “What if someone comes out here?”

  “Relax,” he says over his shoulder. “They won’t. I’ll be back soon.”

  The door closes behind him with a small clank.

  I inhale the warm air and sit again. Even though it’s warm the sky is cloudy and the gradient of darkness becomes bolder toward the horizon. The breeze blows over my face as I stare out at the unfolding weather.

  Well, this day is not at all what I’d expected. I thought I might get to wander around for a while, bored out of my brains, and then sleep for the rest of it. Instead, I feel like I’m backstage at a huge concert, being ushered around, seeing things that aren’t for mortal eyes.

  I’m pretty sure Adrian is just looking for someone, anyone, to talk to. And I’m pretty sure I’m just riding his wave of need for my own cause. For our own cause. Suddenly I remember Kean and Trouble are on rubbish duties, and Liss and Henry are sitting in their classroom. I wonder what happens when Liss turns sixteen? What’s the best she can hope for, rubbish duty? Some form of manual labour to keep the facility running? What if she spends her best years grinding away in useless jobs, all for the safety of shelter and a bit of bland food?

  What if they never find a cure in her lifetime? Is that what I want for Liss? We survived everything out there: hordes of infected people, hunger and thirst and daily danger. Could I be happy if this is all we become? Would it be worth it? And when I’m healed and put on rubbish duty… that’s it?

  The door opens a crack and I whip my head over. It creeps open and Adrian backs out holding a drinks tray and a paper bag.

  “Miss me?” he says.

  I just smile and eye the drinks.

  “Coffee,” he says, boosting the tray up. Adrian sits next to me, so close that the white legs of our uniforms slide up against each other. He doesn’t seem to notice, but I scoot away giving myself more room, because I definitely notice. “Where’d you get coffee from?” I ask.

  Adrian passes me the paper cup. I don’t feel anything straight away but soon the warmth spreads through the bandages and reaches my hands.

  “It’s like rocket fuel for scientists,” he says, putting down his own cup and riffling through the bag. “I didn’t know what you like so I grabbed a few things… chicken pieces…” he says, pulling each listed item out of the bag and placing it on the space I’ve made between us on the bench. “Bread, butter, salad… oh, I brought juice as well, in case you don’t like coffee. Sound good?”

  “Sounds… amazing.” I take a sip of the coffee; it’s hot and bitter. Coffee used to be my staple breakfast, that and Vegemite on toast. I’d almost forgotten the glorious taste. “How come you have chicken and bread and vegetables?”

  Adrian glances up as he butters the bread. “We have chickens and veggie gardens. The butter and yeast and stuff were part of the emergency supply. It’s all refrigerated. And the chickens and veggies… well, they’re lab grown but are perfectly safe to eat. Just grown with fake sun.”

  Adrian passes me a chicken salad sandwich. I take a bite and look over at him. “Oh my God,” I say, and little crumbs of bread shoot out, landing on his own sandwich. I move to cover my mouth and mumble, “Sorry.”

  Adrian shrugs and makes a point of taking a bite. He looks out over the rooftops and trees, to the deep grey band on the horizon. “Storm’s coming,” he says.

  Suddenly I miss Liss and Kean and the others. I don’t know why, but the feeling spreads through me like a cold chill. I’m not used to being alone, or with unfamiliar company. The breeze picks up and whips the steam off the top of my coffee. The dark clouds extend toward us like smoky claws.

  “Can I ask you something?” I say, resting the second half of my sandwich on my knees.

  Adrian’s already finished his, and he hangs his arm over the back of the bench, sipping his coffee. “Sure.”

  “Is your mum here?”

  “Ah…” Adrian scratches his head for a while and finally stretches his shoulders out. “Not here. I didn’t really know her, she left when I was four.”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  Adrian shrugs. “I never knew her so… it’s not like a major loss or anything.”

  We sit in silence for a while, sipping on coffee, watching the skies grow dark and tormented. When I finish, I don’t have any room for the rest of the sandwich and I’m thinking of ways to smuggle it out for Liss.

  “I’m kind of tired,” I say, looking down at my hands. “I might go back and rest.”

  Adrian looks over. “Will I see you tonight?” His eyes are shining and eager. He leans forward and I feel myself leaning back a bit, trying to clear the suspicion from my face.

  “The labs,” he says. “I’m taking you on a tour, right?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  He nods and straightens.

  “Can I take the rest of my sandwich?”

  Adrian rolls his tongue over his teeth as he makes his decision. “Don’t let anyone else see it, ok?”

  I smile, big and bold, and instantly it puts him at ease. “Can I take the juice too?”

  He glances down at the full bottle. “You can’t let anyone see it. Not even your friends. I don’t want to start a riot. And don’t chuck the bottle away either. Give it to me tonight. I’ll get rid of the evidence.”

  “Ok. I’ll do that.” I wrap up the sandwich in the paper bag and drop in the juice. “I can let myself back in.”

  “I’m coming inside anyway. It’s depressing sitting out here alone. Besides I’ve got stuff to do.”

  Adrian walks me back through the halls, all the way to my room and doesn’t leave until I close the door. Yeah, that’s a little bit creepy but I guess if I had no one and no purpose, I’d go a bit crazy too.

  I slide onto my bed and lie back in the shadow cast by the bunk above. A fluorescent tube flickers on the roof and makes a funny n
oise. I’m not really tired enough to sleep; I just want to see the others as soon as they come back.

  After some hours of staring at the door, it swings open and Henry and Liss come in.

  “Hey,” I call up to them.

  Liss ducks down and smiles. She wriggles in beside me.

  “How was school?” I ask.

  “Ok,” Liss says.

  Henry pulls himself up onto his bed. “It was a bit… I don’t know. Some of the kids are weird.”

  “Did you guys make any friends?”

  “Well… there was this one boy Sam but…” Liss’ words trail off as she gently prods the bandages on my hands.

  “It’s not like school at all,” Henry says. “We don’t do much. We draw or muck about or do these stupid activity sheets.”

  “Why can’t you come to school with us?” Liss shuffles around to give me the full weight of her stare.

  “I’m too old.” I shrug. “Hey, I got you guys something.”

  They both lean over as I reveal the half sandwich and bottle of juice. “You guys want to share? It’s real chicken.”

  Liss looks back at Henry and they both go boggle-eyed. “No way! How’d you get it?”

  I break the sandwich in half and hand them a piece each. “Hey, I have connections. But don’t tell anyone or we might not get anymore.”

  It goes quiet as they munch away. I crank open the juice bottle and hand it over. They share the juice, passing it back and forth. It’s nice to watch them sharing, because I imagine it’s one of those qualities that not many people can afford to have anymore. It kind of makes me feel proud.

  Liss licks every last morsel from her fingers.

  “Feel better?” I ask.

  She nods. Liss and Henry sip on the juice for a while, both trying to make sure the other gets the very last bit. It’s like some kind of backward game where the loser is really the winner. Finally Liss groans in defeat and drinks the last drop. I put the bottle back into the paper bag, just as Kean and Trouble come through the door.

  We all look up.

  “How was it?” I ask.

  They both look tired. Kean ruffles his hair and sits down next to Henry. Trouble slides his back down the door and sits cross-legged on the concrete floor. No one says anything but the mood changes, like a wind snuffing out our flame.

  I glance between Kean and Trouble but neither wants to make eye contact with me. “Is it bad?” I say.

  Finally Kean sighs. “Can anyone say slave driver?”

  I feel my brow furrow. “Really?”

  He looks down at me. “There are only so many bins to clear, right? So when we’re done it’s like they feel compelled to keep us busy, like we might start a riot otherwise. We just do the same thing over and over again. Sorting rubbish into piles, into boxes and bags. For no apparent reason. And, oh my God, the smell.” Kean pinches his nose and Trouble does the same thing and nods. “If they had whips, I’m sure they’d use them. I swear I could have punched the main guy, Arnold. He was up in Trouble’s face the whole time, speaking loud and slow. It was embarrassing.”

  “You think Trouble knows what the guy was saying?”

  “How could he not? His tone, his body language…” Kean rubs his hands on his knees. “Anyway, how was school?”

  “Not much better,” I say.

  Henry flicks Kean on the shoulder. “Activity sheets! What am I, five?”

  Kean gives me a long hard stare, like he wants to say more but can’t. “Should we head to dinner then?”

  “Yeah,” I say. “Before we miss it.”