The Decision

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  She knew Grandma still loved her, but there were days, such as yesterday, when Grandma’s frustration with not being able to remember something had caused her to be irritable and out of sorts.

  When Grandma got up this morning, she’d put her everyday dress on over her Sunday dress and come into the kitchen saying she was ready for church. Elaine had thought this would turn out to be a difficult day, but to her surprise, Grandma had agreeably taken off her regular dress when Elaine asked her to. She’d also helped do the breakfast dishes and waited patiently in the buggy while Elaine brought her horse out of the barn. On the trip to church, Grandma had actually carried on a fairly normal conversation with Elaine, although she had mentioned Grandpa a few times, referring to him as though he were still alive. Grandma hadn’t mentioned Millie needing to fly again, but Elaine often saw her holding and talking to the rock parakeet. Apparently, Grandma truly believed that the rock was Millie. Well, if it made Grandma happy to believe that, then Elaine wouldn’t tell her otherwise. It was easier just to let Grandma think whatever she wanted in that regard.

  I’m thankful for the good days, Elaine thought, returning Grandma’s smile. And as for the not-so-good days, I’ll just keep asking God for more patience.

  Pulling her gaze away from Grandma, Elaine glanced at the men’s side of the room and caught sight of Jonah. He sat straight and tall on his bench, looking attentively at their song leader. Unexpectedly, he glanced Elaine’s way, and she quickly averted his gaze, fearful that her true feelings for him might show.

  Always on her guard whenever Jonah was around, Elaine had to make sure he never found out that she hadn’t stopped loving him.

  Jonah didn’t know who he was the most worried about this morning—Sara, who hadn’t come to church with Mark, or Elaine, who appeared to be tired and strained. He planned to head over to Sara’s house to check on her as soon as church was over, even skipping the noon meal, but he didn’t know what he could do about Elaine’s situation, for she’d made it clear that she didn’t want his help or attention. Still, he couldn’t get rid of the feeling of wanting to protect Elaine.

  Even yet, Jonah had a hard time accepting the fact that Elaine had never loved him, but if she’d told one of her best friends that, it must be true. Elaine’s decision was one of the reasons he’d begun courting Sara—that and his connection with Sara’s son. Then three nights ago when he’d learned of Sara’s illness, Jonah knew what he had to do. By marrying Sara, he’d not only gain a wife, but he’d have the son he’d always wanted. Sara needs a husband, Jonah reminded himself. And if she says yes to my proposal, I’m going to be the best husband and father I can possibly be.

  As soon as church was over, Jonah headed straight for his horse and buggy.

  “Where are ya going?” Jean’s husband, Nathan, called.

  “Over to Sara Stutzman’s to see why she wasn’t in church today,” Jonah said after Nathan caught up to him.

  “Aren’t you gonna stay long enough to eat?” Nathan questioned.

  Jonah shook his head. “I had a big breakfast this morning, and I’m not all that hungry right now.”

  Nathan eyed Jonah curiously. “According to Jean, you’ve been seeing a lot of Sara lately.”

  Jonah nodded.

  “Maybe it’s none of my business, but are you two getting serious about each other?”

  Jonah felt like telling Nathan that he was right, it was none of his business, but that would be rude. So he gave a simple one-word reply: “Jah.”

  Nathan blinked rapidly. “Wow, that was sure quick.”

  “What? My reply, or the fact that I haven’t been courting Sara very long?”

  “Both.” Nathan drew his fingers through the ends of his beard. “You’re not thinking of marrying her already, I hope.”

  Jonah’s jaw clenched. He didn’t like the way his brother-in-law was giving him the third degree. “Would there be anything wrong with it if I was?”

  Nathan shrugged. “Well, no, I guess not, but as you said, you haven’t been courting her very long.”

  “That’s true, but when a man knows what he wants, why should he have to wait?” Jonah grabbed Sassy’s rope and led the horse over to his buggy.

  Nathan followed. “When are you planning to ask her to marry you?”

  “I already have. Just waitin’ for Sara’s answer.” Jonah saw no purpose at this point in telling Nathan about Sara’s MS. He figured Nathan might already know, since his wife was Sara’s best friend. But if that was the case, why hadn’t he mentioned it?

  Nathan placed his hand on Jonah’s arm. “Uh, listen, before you go, there’s one thing more I’d like to say.”

  “What’s that?”

  “If you decide to marry Sara, you’ll have Jean’s and my blessing, but I think you oughta give it a little more time—maybe wait till spring to get married.”

  Jonah rolled his shoulders, trying to release some of the tension he felt. “I appreciate your advice, but Sara hasn’t said yes yet, and if she does, then I doubt we’ll wait till spring.” With that, Jonah finished hitching his horse, said good-bye to Nathan, and climbed into the buggy. As he rode away, he pondered Nathan’s words. Had he reacted too soon where Sara was concerned? Should he have thought it through a bit more before asking her to marry him? Well, it was too late for that. He wouldn’t feel right about un-asking her now, and if she said yes to his proposal, then he would take that as a sign from God that he’d done the right thing. And if she said no, he would let her move back to Indiana with his blessing.

  Curling up on one end of the sofa, with her sleeping son on the other end, Sara yawned and closed her eyes. In addition to the fact that she felt more tired than usual today, Mark’s cold seemed to have gotten worse than it had been earlier in the week. So Sara decided it would be best for them to stay home from church and rest. Since the doctor had said she needed plenty of rest, she felt her decision was justified.

  As Sara lay there, covered with the quilt she was sharing with Mark, she thought about Jonah and his marriage proposal. There was no doubt that he’d make a good husband and father, but was she ready to marry again and start a new life with another man? Did she care enough for Jonah to become his wife? Would it be fair for him to be faced with the challenges of her illness?

  I need to make a decision soon, she told herself. Jonah will be coming by in a few days, and he’ll expect an answer.

  Sara had been praying about this ever since Jonah had asked her to marry him, yet she hadn’t received an answer from God. If she went home to live with her folks, she would place a burden on them. But wouldn’t becoming Jonah’s wife be a burden for him, too?

  Why can’t life be simple? Why’s it so hard to know what God wants me to do? she wondered. Ever since Harley’s death, it seemed like she had been faced with one challenge after the next. Some days, when she didn’t think she had the strength to go on, she would turn to the Bible and find comfort in God’s Word. That’s what I should do right now.

  Sara slipped out from under the quilt, being careful not to disturb Mark, and tiptoed across the room to where she kept her Bible on the end table near the rocking chair. Taking a seat, she opened the Bible to the book of James and read chapter 1, verse 5 out loud. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

  She bowed her head and closed her eyes. I’m asking You, Lord, for wisdom in deciding what to do about Jonah’s proposal. If I’m supposed to say yes, then please give me a sign.

  Sara had just finished her prayer when she heard the clip-clop of horse hooves coming up her driveway. Figuring it was probably Harley’s parents stopping by to check on her, Sara rose from her chair and went to the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see Jonah securing his horse to the hitching rack.

  “Hi, Sara. Are you okay?” Jonah asked when he joined her on the porch. “When I realized you weren’t at church, I became worried about you.”

>   Sara smiled. “It was nice of you to come by, Jonah. I’m more tired than usual today, and Mark’s cold seems to have gotten worse, so I decided it would be best if we stayed home and rested today.”

  “That makes good sense.” Jonah moved closer to Sara. “Is there anything I can do for you—maybe spend some time with Mark so you can rest?”

  “It’s kind of you to offer, but Mark’s sleeping right now.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  Sara couldn’t help but notice the look of disappointment in Jonah’s dark eyes. He’d obviously been hoping to enjoy her son’s company for a while, and she couldn’t blame him for that. Mark was such a sweet boy, and Sara relished every moment she had with him.

  “Sure is chilly out today,” Jonah said when a harsh wind blew under the porch eaves. “Bet it won’t be long till we see our first snowfall. Could even happen before Thanksgiving.”

  Sara nodded as Jonah briskly rubbed his arms. Thinking Jonah might like to get in out of the cold for a bit, she invited him inside for a cup of coffee.

  “That sounds real good,” Jonah said, following Sara into the house.

  She was about to suggest that they go to the kitchen for coffee, when Mark woke up. Seeing Jonah, he bounded off the sofa and darted into the utility room, where Sara and Jonah stood, shouting, “Onah! Onah!”

  Jonah bent down and scooped the boy into his arms. “Hey, little buddy, it’s sure good to see you.”

  “Don’t get too close or you might catch his cold,” Sara cautioned, handing Jonah a tissue.

  Jonah shook his head as he wiped Mark’s nose. “Aw, I’m not worried about that. I’ve never been one to catch many colds. Even if I did, it’d be worth it just to spend some time with this special boy.”

  Sara’s heart nearly melted as she watched the tender way Jonah looked at Mark. And her son looked equally enchanted with Jonah as he clasped his hands around Jonah’s neck and held on tight. Drowsy from just waking up, Mark laid his head on Jonah’s shoulder and closed his eyes, while Jonah gently rubbed Mark’s back. Suddenly, as Sara’s heartbeat thudded in her chest, she felt as if she’d been given her answer.

  “Jonah,” she said, pausing to take in a quick breath. “I know we agreed that we’d both take a week to decide, but if you still want to marry me, then my answer is yes.”

  Jonah’s face broke into a wide smile, and he reached for Sara’s hand. “I still want to marry you, and the sooner the better.”

  CHAPTER 40

  I’m sorry to hear you have MS but glad you finally went to see the doctor,” Leah said as she worked on Sara’s feet. “Most of the symptoms you were having weren’t responding to reflexology, but I think my treatments should at least help you relax.”

  Sara nodded. “I always feel calmer after you’ve worked on my feet, and according to the doctor, feeling less stressed can help decrease the symptoms of MS.”

  “So where is that cute little boy of yours today?” Leah questioned.

  “I left him with my mother-in-law. She’ll be keeping him most of the day so I can get some shopping done after I leave here.”

  “It’s nice that Betty and Herschel live close to you and are willing to help out with Mark.” Leah pressed on an area of Sara’s foot that appeared to be inflamed.

  Sara flinched.

  “Sorry if that hurts.”

  “It’s okay. You’re just doing your job.”

  As Leah continued to massage and pressure-point Sara’s feet, they talked about the upcoming holidays.

  “Will your folks be coming here for Thanksgiving or Christmas?” Leah asked.

  “I was planning to go there for both holidays, but since Jonah and I are planning to be married the first week of December, they’ll probably come here for Thanksgiving and then stay on for the wedding.”

  Leah’s eyes widened. “You’re getting married?”

  “Jah. I thought you might have heard.” Sara gave a nervous laugh. “You know how quick news travels in our community.”

  “No, I hadn’t heard, and I’ll admit, I am a bit surprised, since he hasn’t been courting you very long.”

  Sara’s cheeks darkened with a pinkish blush. “That’s true, but we’ve known each other for some time—since Jonah moved here and he and Harley became friends.”

  Leah wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Sara and Jonah may have known each other for a reasonable amount of time, but most of that had been while Sara was married to Harley and Jonah was courting Elaine. While Jonah and Harley had been friends, it wouldn’t have been possible for Jonah and Sara to establish a close relationship—at least not in a romantic sort of way. The fact that they hadn’t been courting very long concerned Leah. She’d always felt that a long courtship was the best for most couples, in order to know if they were truly compatible. Leah would certainly never marry a man unless they’d been seriously courting for a while.

  “Jonah’s a wonderful man, and my son adores him,” Sara went on to say.

  Leah slowly nodded. “I hope you and Jonah will be happy, and I wish you all of God’s best.” She reached for the bottle of massage lotion and poured some into her hand. I wonder if Elaine knows about this. If so, what does she think?

  “It’s nice to see you,” Elaine said when Priscilla pedaled her bike into the yard on Wednesday of the following week.

  Priscilla smiled. “It’s good to see you, too. I was out checking some of the stores that sell our jams to see if they’re running low and decided to come by here before I went home.” Priscilla parked her bike and moved toward the line where Elaine was hanging clothes. “Um…there’s something I think you need to know.”

  Holding a clothespin in her mouth, Elaine tipped her head. “What’s that?”

  “I was talking with Leah the other day, and she said Jonah’s asked Sara to be his wife and they’re planning to get married the first week of December.

  Elaine’s whole body trembled, and she let the clothespin fall to the ground. She’d suspected this could happen but hadn’t thought it would be so soon. Had Jonah gotten over her so quickly?

  Priscilla slipped her arm around Elaine. “Are you okay?”

  “It just took me by surprise.” Elaine picked up the clothespin, reached into the basket, and clipped a towel on the line. She hoped Priscilla wouldn’t notice how badly her hands were shaking.

  “You love him, don’t you?”

  “It doesn’t matter how I feel about Jonah. He’s made his choice, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  Priscilla stepped in front of Elaine, looking directly into her eyes. “Jah, there is, Elaine. You can go to Jonah right now and tell him you love him. If you did that, I’m sure he would break things off with Sara.”

  Elaine shook her head vigorously. “I can’t, and I won’t say anything to Jonah about this. My responsibility to Grandma hasn’t changed, and if Jonah’s asked Sara to marry him, then he must be in love with her now.” She shrugged. “Jonah deserves to be happy, and I would never think of coming between them. Besides, even if Jonah wasn’t with Sara, with everything going on in my life, where would we find time for each other?”

  Priscilla looked like she might say more on the subject, but she reached into the basket and picked up a towel instead. “You look tired, Elaine. Think I’ll stay here awhile and help out.”

  “You don’t need to do that. I’m fine.” But you’re not fine, Elaine’s conscience told her. She wished she could just go to her room, have a good cry, and sleep the rest of the day. But she couldn’t do that. Chores still waited, and in a little while, it would be time to test Grandma’s blood sugar and fix them both some lunch.

  “I’m sure you have plenty to do today, so I am staying to help,” Priscilla insisted. “If I was in your situation, I’m sure you’d do the same thing for me.”

  Elaine couldn’t argue with that. If either of her best friends had a need, she would do whatever she could to help out. “Okay,” she said, appreciating Priscilla’s offer. “You can help me f
inish the laundry, and after that, we’ll have lunch.”

  Priscilla smiled. “That sounds good to me, and if you have the ingredients, I’ll make some chicken noodle soup for our noon meal.”

  “Leah’s mamm came by yesterday to sit with Grandma, and I was able to do some shopping,” Elaine replied. “The cupboards and refrigerator are full, so I’m sure I have everything you’ll need to make soup.”

  “This soup is sure good,” Elaine said after taking her first bite. “Don’t you think so, Grandma?”

  Grandma sat across the table from Elaine and Priscilla, her lips compressed as she stared at her bowl.

  “Grandma, did you hear what I said?” Elaine asked, speaking a little louder.

  As though coming out of a daze, Grandma looked over at Elaine and blinked. “Did you say something to me?”

  “I said the soup is good and asked if you like it, too.”

  Grandma spooned some into her mouth and smacked her lips. “It tastes pretty good, but I think it needs more salse.” She picked up the saltshaker and sprinkled some into her soup. Then she pointed at Priscilla. “Sie is en gudi Koch.”

  Elaine nodded. “You’re right, Grandma, she is a good cook.”

  Elaine glanced at Priscilla to see her reaction, but Priscilla just smiled and handed her the basket of crackers.

  They ate in silence for a while. Then Priscilla asked Elaine if she’d made any special plans for Thanksgiving.

  Elaine shook her head. “Not really. I’ll probably fix a small turkey, along with some potatoes and a vegetable for Grandma and me. Then we’ll have some no-sugar apple pie for dessert.”

  “You two are welcome to join my family for Thanksgiving,” Priscilla offered.

  “That’s nice of you, but I think it would be better if we stay here and have a quiet day by ourselves.” Elaine would have enjoyed spending the holiday with Priscilla’s family, but it would be too stressful taking Grandma there and not knowing what she might say or do that could be embarrassing.