“I told you I won’t. Now what is it?”
“I met this guy on-line, and I’ve been chatting with him almost every day.”
“Really?” Danielle was excited.
“Yes, and, girl, he is so nice.”
“Man, Alicia. How old is he?”
Alicia smiled proudly. “Nineteen.”
“Oh—my—goodness.” Danielle giggled. “He’s a grown man.”
“I know, and he’s really liking me, too.”
“What does he talk about?”
“Everything. My schoolwork, the way I feel about my parents. Just everything.”
“Does he wanna meet you?”
“Yeah, he brings it up all the time.”
“And what do you tell him?”
“That we’ll meet soon, but I never say when.”
“But aren’t you sort of scared?”
“Sort of. But he makes me feel so much like a woman. He doesn’t treat me like a child the way my parents do.”
“Oh man.” Danielle giggled again. “He sounds so cool.”
“Girl, he is, and on top of that, he taught me how to have phone sex.”
“No way! And I can’t believe you’ve been talking to him on the phone, too.”
“Yep. And, girl, one night I thought I was going to go crazy.”
“Why?”
“Because it felt so good. I had this tingly feeling that I’ve never had before, and ever since then I’ve been thinking about Julian every hour of the day.”
“Julian? That’s his name?”
“Yep.”
“I like it.”
“I know, and every time I talk to him, I keep trying to picture what he looks like.”
“Do you think he’s cute?”
“It sounds like it.”
“Did he tell you how he looked?”
“Yep, a little.”
“Well?”
“He said he was medium height, muscular, and had a slammin’ haircut. Then he said every girl he met wanted to get with him.”
“Man, he must be really fine, then.”
“I know, that’s what I was thinking, too.”
“I can’t believe you’re just now telling me after all this time.”
Alicia couldn’t believe she’d told her at all. Danielle was her best friend, and she told her just about everything, but this Julian situation was different. It was different because if her mother found out, she would kill her. Especially since Alicia was already on punishment because of those missed math classes. Of course, her mother had allowed her to accompany Danielle over to Tiffany’s a couple of hours ago, but that was only because she felt sorry about Alicia missing the dance.
“You’d better not tell anybody, Danielle, because if you do I’ll never speak to you again,” Alicia threatened.
“I told you I won’t. I’ll die first. But tell me some more about the phone sex thing.”
“I can’t explain it. You’d have to be on the phone yourself to understand.”
“Does he say nasty stuff?”
“Yeah.”
“Like what?”
“Danieeellle.” Alicia was embarrassed.
“What does he say?”
“All kinds of stuff, but I’m not gonna repeat it.”
“You are so wrong for not telling me.”
“Why? Because it’s not like I can remember all of it, anyway.”
“You just don’t wanna tell me,” Danielle said, pouting.
“Okay, okay. He talks a lot about my kitty-kat, but he always uses the P word when he does. Then he talks about sucking on both my—”
“Ewwwww, girl. He is so nasty.”
Alicia placed her hand over Danielle’s mouth. “Will you be quiet. You’re talking too loud.”
“Sorry,” Danielle said, and they both laughed.
“But you know what else?” Alicia said. “I’m thinking about telling him to pick me up this week.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep.”
“But what if your mom finds out? Or even your dad?”
“Skip him. He doesn’t care anything about me, and to prove it, he couldn’t even get here on time for that dance last night. He never does anything he says, but Julian is always there for me, and he always knows how to make me feel better.”
“But maybe you should at least see a picture of Julian first.”
“He doesn’t have one he can e-mail me. I already asked when I sent mine.”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
“I forgot, but he said I was one of the finest women he’d ever seen.”
“He called you a woman?”
“Yep. I told you he doesn’t treat me like a child. Plus, I told him I was seventeen.”
“You are such a trip. And he believed you?”
“Why wouldn’t he? Because when I get my makeup on, I look way older than fourteen.”
“I guess. But if it were me, I’d be afraid.”
“That’s because you’ve never talked to him. He is so understanding, and I know I can trust him because he’s always saying I should do what my parents tell me. And you know most boys wouldn’t care one way or the other. He even told me that I needed to try to get along with Mom and James because they’re the ones who are here for me. Then he told me how important it was for me to do well in school.”
“Oh. Well, maybe it’ll be okay then, because only a decent guy would say all that. But do you think he’ll try to have real sex with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re not going to let him, are you?”
“No,” Alicia said, but deep down she wasn’t totally against it. Not when he’d promised her he could make her feel even better in person than he had on the phone.
“Well, what if he gets mad at you?” Danielle said.
“He won’t, because he’s not like that.”
“Well, how are you gonna sneak out of here?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure out something. And I might have to ask you to cover for me.”
“Unh-unh, Alicia.”
“What do you mean, unh-unh?”
“I mean I can’t do that.”
“And why not?”
“Because if you end up being gone for too long and your mom calls me, I won’t know what to say.”
“I’ll tell you what to say.”
“I don’t know, Alicia.”
“Whatever, Danielle.”
“Come on, Alicia, please don’t be mad at me.”
“And you’re supposed to be my best friend,” Alicia said, mumbling to herself as she got up and went over to her desk.
“I am your best friend.”
“No you’re not, because best friends will do anything for each other. Anything at all.”
“But what if something happens to you? What if we both end up getting in trouble?”
“We won’t. Because I’m not about to get caught.”
Danielle looked at her timidly.
Alicia noticed. “Okay, if you don’t want to do it, then fine.”
“And you won’t be mad?”
“No.”
“Yes you will.”
“No I won’t, so let’s just forget it.”
Alicia turned on her computer, wishing she hadn’t told Danielle anything. She was angry with her for not wanting to assist with her alibi, but Alicia wasn’t going to lose any sleep over it. She wasn’t going to hate her for it either, because Danielle couldn’t help being a child. She hadn’t been dealing with a grown man the way Alicia had, so Alicia sort of understood why she was frightened.
“Are you getting ready to sign on to AOL?”
“Yep.”
“When you finish, I wanna sign on to my account to see if I have any messages.”
“Okay,” Alicia said, and then heard the phone ringing.
“Hello?”
“Hi, baby girl. It’s Daddy.”
Alicia refused to speak to him.
&nb
sp; “Baby girl, are you there?”
“Yeah.” She was as nonchalant as possible.
“Look, I know you’re angry with me, but I’m really sorry about last night.”
Alicia didn’t know what he wanted her to say.
“I messed up, and I’m going to do something real special to make it up to you.”
Did he want a blue ribbon or something? She hated his voice, she hated him, and she wished she never had to see him again.
“Baby girl, say something. Because you know it kills Daddy when you’re upset with him.”
“I have to go, because Danielle is here,” she said, looking over at her friend.
“But do you forgive me?”
“What difference does it make? You don’t care anyway.”
“I do care, and I’ve been worried about you ever since you hung up on me.”
“Uh-huh,” she muttered, and couldn’t care less about what he was saying.
“Look, why don’t you spend next weekend with us, and we’ll do whatever you want.”
Alicia had had about all she could take from her father, and it wasn’t going to be long before she said something she might regret.
“I don’t think so, Daddy.”
“Come on, baby girl, we could have a real nice time. Mariah could pick you up after school, take you home to pick up your clothes, and then the two of you could meet me at a restaurant. And after that we can do anything you want.”
Mariah, Mariah, Mariah. Lies, lies, lies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
“I said no, Daddy. I don’t want to spend the weekend with you or your precious little Mariah. And I don’t want you calling me anymore either.”
“Alicia, why are you speaking to me like this?” Curtis asked.
She could tell he was stunned by her words, but he’d be mortified when he heard what she had to say next.
“The thing is, Daddy, why would I need you calling me when I already have a daddy right here in the house with me?”
“Girl, what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about James. He’s more of a father to me than you’ve ever been, and that’s why I’m going to ask him if I can start using his last name.”
“Okay, I’ve had it, Alicia. I told you I was sorry, and I refuse to stay on this phone listening to you talk crazy.”
“Bye,” she said.
She heard the phone click and threw her cordless onto its base.
“He makes me so sick,” she said.
“Man, Alicia, I can’t believe you spoke to your father like that.”
“Please. I’ll talk to him anyway I feel like, because all he does is tell a bunch of lies every time I hear from him. He couldn’t even take me to a funky little dance.”
Danielle gazed at her in silence.
“But it doesn’t matter, because I’m through with him.”
“But he’s your father.”
“I don’t care. I’m still not having anything else to do with him.”
“Maybe you need to give him one more chance.”
“For what? He’s missed just about everything that was important to me, and I’m not doing this shit with him anymore.”
Danielle raised her eyebrows as if she hadn’t heard her best friend correctly.
“What?” Alicia said. “Julian curses all the time, so it’s not like it’s a big deal.”
“My mom would kill me if I said any of those words.”
“Well, it’s not like my mom is going to hear me either.”
“Danielle,” Tanya yelled upstairs.
Danielle opened Alicia’s bedroom door. “Yes, Mrs. Howard?”
“Your mother called and said it’s time for you to come home, sweetie.”
“Okay, I’ll be right down.”
“I wish you could stay longer so you could see me on-line with Julian.”
“I know, but I have to get ready for school tomorrow. And I also have some English homework to do.”
“Okay, well, I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“Hey, I’m sorry about your dad.”
“Girl, I’m fine. He’s the one who’s trippin’.”
Danielle walked into the hallway and down the staircase.
Alicia signed on to her computer and saw that Julian was on, too. She felt her stomach stirring, her heart fluttering, and she was starting to wonder if she was in love with him. She wasn’t sure how love was supposed to feel, but she knew this was different. She’d liked this boy on the football team last fall, but she hadn’t felt anything near the way she felt when she communicated with Julian. Plus, that guy on the team was just a boy and not at all the man Julian was.
JMONEY1: What’s up, Alicia.
ALICIABLK: Hey, Julian.
JMONEY1: So how was the dance your father took you to?
ALICIABLK: We didn’t go. He was late getting home, and when he told me we were going to be an hour and a half late, I told him to forget it.
JMONEY1: Aw, man. I’m sorry to hear that, sweetheart.
Sweetheart? Alicia felt like she couldn’t breathe. He’d never called her that before, and now she wondered if he was in love with her, too.
ALICIABLK: I’m over that, though, because it was just some kiddie dance, anyway.
JMONEY1: I thought you said it was for juniors and seniors and their fathers?
Dang. She’d forgotten that she’d told him that. There was no way she could let it slip that she was a freshman.
ALICIABLK: It was, but a lot of juniors and seniors I go to school with are so childish.
JMONEY1: I hear you. So what have you been doing today?
ALICIABLK: I went to visit a friend and another friend of mine came over here afterward. She just left, though.
JMONEY1: So have you decided when you’re going to let me see your fine little self?
ALICIABLK: Not yet.
JMONEY1: Well, I don’t know how much longer I can wait, because, girl, I’m really starting to think about you all the time. Sometimes I can’t even handle my business, and my boys are starting to tease me about being whipped.
Alicia felt her stomach turning flips again.
ALICIABLK: I think about you all the time, too.
JMONEY1: Are you afraid your parents will find out?
ALICIABLK: No. Not really.
JMONEY1: Then what are you afraid of?
ALICIABLK: Nothing.
JMONEY1: Well, I don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this on-line thing either.
ALICIABLK: Do you want me to call you?
JMONEY1: No, because that’s almost the same thing. I mean, it’s not like I can actually see you or spend any real time with you. And to be honest, it’s sort of played out.
ALICIABLK: You sound upset.
JMONEY1: No, I’m not upset, but I don’t want to keep this thing going between us if we’re never going to see each other. I’ve got some real strong-ass feelings for you, but if this isn’t going to happen, then I need to know. That way, I won’t expect anything except a friendship from you, and I can start looking for someone else to get serious with.
Alicia didn’t want that. Whether she was ready or not, it was time to stand up and be the woman he expected her to be. It was time to stop putting him off and time to schedule their first date together.
But first she needed to know one thing.
ALICIABLK: Julian, can I ask you something?
JMONEY1: Shoot.
ALICIABLK: Have you ever been in love before?
JMONEY1: Once.
ALICIABLK: When?
JMONEY1: Back in the eleventh grade.
ALICIABLK: And how did you know?
JMONEY1: I can’t explain it, but you just know. The same way I know . . .
ALICIABLK: The same way you know what?
JMONEY1: I don’t think I should say, because if we’re not going to take our relationship to the next level, I don’t want to get hurt.
A
LICIABLK: How would you get hurt?
JMONEY1: Because if you don’t feel the same way I do, then I’ll be left looking like a fool.
Alicia paused, not knowing what to say next.
ALICIABLK: Well, how do you feel?
JMONEY1: I told you I don’t think I should say.
ALICIABLK: Please . . . ☺
JMONEY1: Okay, I think I’m in love with you. Are you satisfied?
ALICIABLK: Yes, because I think I’m in love with you, too.
JMONEY1: Then what are we waiting for?
ALICIABLK: Nothing. Not anymore.
Alicia had no choice but to meet him. They’d finally confessed their love for each other, and she didn’t want to go another day without seeing him. She wouldn’t go another day without seeing her own man. Her father had lied and disappointed her on so many occasions, but thanks to Julian, she finally had someone she could depend on. She finally had someone who cared about her and didn’t see her as an intrusion.
She finally had someone who would never neglect her.
Chapter 17
Alicia stared straight ahead as Julian drove the black Escalade EXT pickup away from her school and turned the first corner. He was more gorgeous than she’d imagined, his muscles were cut in all the right places, and he owned a very expensive vehicle. But what mattered most was that he was nineteen and clearly in love with her.
“I’m really feeling that outfit,” he complimented. Alicia was wearing a Tommy Hilfiger blue jean suit and a pair of mule tennis shoes.
“Thanks,” she said, only glancing at him for a second. She thought about complimenting him on the black short-sleeve pullover and black jeans he was wearing, but the words wouldn’t spill out of her.
“You seem nervous,” he said.
“No. I’m fine,” she lied.
“You were telling me the truth when you said you were seventeen, right?” he asked, smiling.
“Yeah. Why do you ask?”
“I dunno. I guess because you look a little younger.”
She couldn’t believe he was saying that. Not with all the eye shadow, mascara, lip gloss, and foundation she was wearing. She’d even asked one of the senior girls from her dance class to help her apply it. But maybe Julian wasn’t very good at guessing someone’s age.
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