Too Much of a Good Thing

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “So I finally get to see you in person, huh?” he said, slowing at a stoplight and looking over at her.

  “Yep.” She blushed.

  “But you know I’m trippin’, right?”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re way finer than that picture you e-mailed me. All that babylike skin and long beautiful hair. Mmmmmm-mmm. And got a tight-ass little body, too.”

  Alicia smiled and wanted to burst wide open. She was still a little tense, but not nearly as tense as when she’d first sat in his truck. She couldn’t wait to tell Danielle every detail.

  “So where did you tell your mother you were going after school?”

  “I told her I was staying after for a track meet and that one of my friend’s parents was taking us out for pizza when it was over.”

  “And you think she’ll believe it?”

  “Yep. But I need to be home around eight.”

  Julian glanced at the digital clock and said, “That doesn’t give us a whole lot of time together.”

  Alicia wanted to beg him to understand, but she didn’t want to sound like a baby.

  “But that’s cool,” he said. “We can work with that.”

  Alicia was relieved.

  They drove a few more miles into a suburb called Hazel Crest and then pulled into the parking lot of Julian’s apartment complex. It was three stories tall, structured of light tan brick, and it seemed pretty quiet. But the fact that they were barely ten miles from where she lived made her a bit uncomfortable.

  When they entered the building, they climbed three levels and walked through his front doorway. His apartment was the bomb. Red leather furniture, black and pewter accessories, and a very colorful painting hanging above the sofa. Now she knew Julian’s business was doing well. He really had it going on, and she was proud to be with him.

  “You can have a seat if you want,” he said, dropping down on the sofa and patting the spot next to him.

  “I like your apartment,” she said, taking a seat.

  “Thanks. It’s not bad, but I saw this smokin’ condo I wanna get before the end of the summer.”

  “Oh.”

  “Is there something you wanna watch on TV?” he asked, picking up the selector.

  “Anything is fine,” she said, hoping she sounded mature.

  “What about BET?”

  “Okay.”

  After flipping through channels, Alicia saw J.Lo and LL Cool J singing to each other on a video. Alicia loved this one and bobbed her head to the music.

  “So I see you’re a J.Ho fan like the rest of America.”

  “Why do you call her that?” Alicia was offended by his comment.

  “Don’t get upset,” he said. “I’m only kidding. But that is what Jamie Foxx called her on one of his stand-ups. He said that’s who she was when she danced on In Living Color.”

  “Please,” she said. “J.Lo is my girl.”

  Julian laughed and Alicia loved the way he sounded.

  “And you probably already spent a ton of money on those boots she’s wearing, too.”

  “Nope. But I’m getting a pair this fall, though.”

  “Figures.”

  Julian looked at her for a few seconds, seeming to admire what he saw.

  “Why don’t you come a little closer,” he said.

  Alicia froze up.

  “Come here,” he reiterated.

  She hesitated, but finally slid over next to him. Their hips were now touching, and he placed his arm around her. It felt great to be cuddling with him, and her nervousness was now passing, slowly but surely.

  Alicia pretended that she was consumed with the video, but Julian lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. “You . . . are . . . one . . . fine . . . little . . . thing. You know that?”

  She smiled again, and he kissed her. With his tongue and everything. She’d only tongue-kissed one other boy, but she hadn’t liked it very much because he’d slobbered all over the outside of her mouth. But Julian, on the other hand, definitely knew what he was doing, so she kissed him right back.

  When the doorbell rang, he pulled away from her.

  “Hey, that’s probably somebody coming to buy a CD, so why don’t you go into my bedroom and shut the door. That way, I won’t look so unprofessional.”

  “Okay,” she said, walking in the direction he was pointing.

  When she was inside his bedroom, she sat down on the wooden sleigh bed and turned on the television. Julian was such a businessman, and if she’d been even a couple of years older, her mother probably would have been thrilled about him. Alicia could tell he had a good head on his shoulders, and she wondered what it would feel like to be married to him. She knew she was still too young, but maybe at some point Julian wouldn’t care how old she really was.

  She heard a door shut but knew it was probably Julian coming out of his office or CD storage area. She would ask him to show it to her before she went home. Although she wondered why his computer was here in his bedroom. But maybe he had two of them.

  “Sorry about that,” he said, opening the door.

  “That’s okay,” she said.

  “Can I see your office?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but not today. It’s sort of messy, and I need to get it in order before I show it to you.”

  “Oh. Well, do you wanna go back out to the living room?”

  “No, why don’t we just stay in here, because if another customer comes by, you’ll have to come back in here, anyway.”

  Alicia didn’t see any chairs, so she felt kind of nervous again.

  “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about,” Julian said, motioning his arms to the beat and rap lyrics that 50 Cent was reciting. “That’s a bad man,” Julian said proudly.

  Alicia liked gangsta rap, too, but her mother always had a fit whenever she caught her listening to it. Her mother hated it because of all the profanity and because most of the girls in the videos looked naked. But Alicia kept trying to tell her it was only entertainment.

  When the video ended, an auto commercial aired, and Julian walked around the bed and stretched across it. He rested his head on Alicia’s lap, but she didn’t move.

  “So where were we?” he asked.

  “I dunno,” she said, giggling.

  “You do too know.”

  “No I don’t,” she said, watching the TV screen.

  He sat up and said, “Bring your legs up on the bed. That way we can get more comfortable.”

  She wasn’t sure about this, but she did what he asked. Then he pulled her body toward the foot of the bed so that she was lying on her back and kissed her again. At first he lay on his side, but he finally maneuvered his way on top of her. She kissed him back, but she hoped he didn’t want her to go any further. She’d thought it would be cool to have sex for the first time, but now she was afraid to.

  When he heard the doorbell again, he pulled away and sighed.

  “I hate this, but duty calls,” he said, standing up. Alicia saw his thing bulging through his jeans and almost choked. It looked so big, and she prayed that he wasn’t going to try and make her do it with him. Maybe she would think about it some other time, but she just couldn’t do anything like that today.

  He pulled the door closed, and soon after she heard him in the next room again. He was talking to some guy, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  Over the next two hours ten other patrons came by to pick up CDs. But now Julian was back in bed with her, kissing her again. They kissed for a while, and then Julian removed her jacket and pulled her shirt outside her pants. He unbuttoned them and reached for her zipper, but she stopped him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Then why did you stop me?”

  “I dunno,” she said, wishing he would leave her alone.

  “Look, sweetheart, I’m only trying to make you feel special. All I want is to make you feel like a real woman the way I promised. Now lie still
and let me take care of you.”

  She tried not to resist, but before she knew it, she pushed his hand away from her zipper again.

  “Alicia?” he said, sounding frustrated.

  “What?” Her voice was soft and worried.

  “All I wanna do is caress you. That’s all.”

  She didn’t want to make him angry, and if all he wanted to do was touch her, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

  Julian pulled down the zipper and then worked her pants below her butt.

  He moved to the side of her, all the while kissing her and rubbing his hand between her legs and inside her bikini underwear.

  She moved her lips away from his and moaned. He’d been right when he’d said he could make her feel better in person. Julian kissed her neck. Then he took his middle finger and tried to penetrate her.

  “Ouchhhh,” she yelled.

  “I know. But I’ve gotta get you used to this.”

  “Please don’t, Julian. It hurts.”

  “Look, it’s just my finger. So stop tryin’ to fight me.”

  “But it hurts,” she repeated.

  “Look, girl, I’m gettin’ tired of all this whining. Now stop it and be still.”

  Alicia burst into tears and wondered why Julian was being so mean. He was being downright cruel.

  “Pull your pants all the way off,” he said, stripping every stitch of his own clothing. His thing was enormous. It was aiming straight toward her. She was scared to death.

  “No, Julian. I wanna go home.”

  “So what are you saying? That you’ve been teasing me all these weeks?”

  “No,” she said, sniffling.

  “Well then, take all that shit off like I told you.”

  When Alicia curled into the fetal position, Julian snatched her legs toward him and forced her jeans down to her ankles. Then he removed them, dropped them on the floor, and ripped off her panties.

  “Oh my God, Julian, why are you doing this?” she asked, scooting away from him.

  “You said you were in love with me, didn’t you?”

  “Yes . . . but . . .”

  “Well then, stop complaining and take this like a woman.” Julian climbed back in bed on his knees and pulled her shirt and bra over her head at the same time. Then he spread her legs with his right hand and cupped the back of her neck with his left one.

  “No, Julian,” she screamed, trying desperately to tear away from him.

  But he was too strong for her.

  “Look, girl, I said open your legs.”

  “But it’s gonna hurt,” she explained.

  “It hurts every woman the first time, so get over it.”

  “But I don’t wanna do this. I wanna go home.”

  “For right now you are at home. And after I get what I want, you can go wherever you want to.”

  Alicia tried to push him off her, but Julian slapped her hard.

  She felt dizzy, deranged even. And she wondered who this animal was, because it certainly wasn’t the Julian she’d been communicating with on-line and by telephone. He wasn’t the Julian who was in love with her.

  “If you try to stop me one more time, I’m gonna fuck your little ass into next week, and you won’t ever get to go home. You hear me?”

  Alicia wailed loudly and hysterically.

  “Do you want me to slap your little young ass again?” he said, forcing her legs open. “Because I really don’t wanna do that.” He kissed her forehead.

  Alicia wished she could crawl into her mother’s arms and never leave. She was sorry for all the problems she’d been causing and for sneaking off to be with Julian. Maybe if she told him how old she was, he would stop groping on her and would drive her back in front of her school.

  “I’m . . . only . . . fourteen, Julian,” she stammered, trying to catch her breath. “I’m just a freshman in high school.”

  “You think I don’t know that? After listening to that little weak-ass conversation of yours? But I’m okay with that, because if you were any older, I wouldn’t have wanted you in the first place.”

  “I’m . . . sorry . . . I . . . lied . . . to . . . you . . .”

  She tried to say anything that would cause him to have mercy on her.

  “Yeah, I bet you are,” he said, stroking her hair. “But that’s okay, because I lied, too, when I said I was in love with you.”

  Alicia felt like dying, but started struggling again.

  “If you move one more inch, you’re going to make me hurt you. I don’t want to, but I hate it when you little bitches tease me on-line and then come over here actin’ like you don’t wanna fuck.”

  Alicia saw that she had no choice except to surrender.

  Julian forced himself inside her, and she cried out like a small child. The pain was excruciating, but Julian moaned and told her how good it felt. He told her that she was everything he’d hoped she would be and then some.

  When he finished, he told her to get her clothes on, that he never wanted to hear from her again, that if she ever told a soul, he would kill her parents.

  He showed her a gun to make sure she understood him.

  Alicia tried to remember what day it was.

  Chapter 18

  Hi, Mariah,” Tanya said. “I’m sorry to bother you, but is Curtis home?”

  “No, he’s not,” Mariah answered, and wondered why Tanya sounded so upset. “Is everything okay?”

  “No . . . Alicia didn’t come home from school, and now it’s well after nine and—”

  “Oh my God. Have you spoken to any of her friends?”

  “Yes, but she’s not with any of them. We even spoke to Danielle, but she doesn’t know where Alicia could be either. I even called the school, some of the neighbors, and two hospitals.”

  “Okay, look, I’m going to try to get Curtis on his cell phone, and then I’ll be right there.”

  “Thanks, Mariah. I really appreciate it.”

  Mariah pressed the flash button and dialed Curtis immediately. His phone rang again and again and then she heard his voice mail connecting. She threw the phone on the base and muttered to herself, “Curtis, where in the world are you?”

  She grabbed her keys, rushed out of the house, and dialed Curtis again while she was driving. But all she got was his recording.

  “Curtis, I really need you to call me. I’m on my way over to Tanya’s because Alicia hasn’t come home from school and nobody seems to know where she is. So you need to get over there as soon as possible.”

  Mariah cringed at the thought of where he might be and, worse, who he was laying up with. How dare he not be accessible when his daughter might actually be missing. She prayed that Alicia was safe and had merely lost track of time, but what if there was more to it? What if she’d run away or been kidnapped? Mariah erased every one of those thoughts and tried to pull herself together. What she needed to do was have faith that God would bring Alicia home before the night was over.

  “Baby, what am I going to do with you?” Curtis said, lying on his back, trying to catch his breath. He and Adrienne had just finished round two of some of the best lovemaking they’d had, and he was completely spent. Although it still couldn’t compare to the show Charlotte had put on for him two nights ago. After all these years, she still had it. She still drove him wild, and did things Adrienne and Mariah would never even consider.

  “It was good, wasn’t it?” Adrienne agreed, snuggling closer to him.

  “That’s an understatement. I’m totally worn out.”

  “You know, Curtis, I hate not being able to see you whenever I want.”

  “I hate it, too, but right now it can’t be helped.”

  “I know, but I just wish we could somehow end our marriages tomorrow and not have to wait so long.”

  “I do, too,” Curtis said and wondered why she was doing this again. Why did she always commence to whining about the same old thing every time they made love? She was starting to sound like an annoying parrot, and he was tired o
f having to explain what she already knew.

  “I know you’ve promised me that you’re going to divorce Mariah, but I won’t sit right with this until it happens.”

  Curtis didn’t even bother responding. He didn’t have any new information, so he didn’t know what she wanted him to say.

  “You know what I mean, Curtis? Because what if something goes wrong?”

  “What could go wrong? I’m going to divorce her, and there won’t be a thing she can do about it.”

  “I don’t know. I guess I can’t get over what happened when you were married to Tanya. You kept promising that you were going to leave her, too, but it never happened. And on top of that, you were seeing someone else.”

  Curtis tried to think before he spoke, so he wouldn’t say the wrong thing.

  “But, baby, we’ve been over this a thousand times, and I told you it won’t be like it was before. I’m not seeing anyone except you, and I don’t want to spend my life with anyone but you.”

  “I hear you loud and clear, but you have to understand why I’m so worried,” she said, pausing. “And I guess what I’m trying to say is, you need to speak now or forever hold your peace.”

  “Meaning what?”

  “That if you have any doubts about divorcing Mariah or about marrying me, then you need to tell me. I’ll be hurt, but I’ll be okay with it,” she said, sitting up and gazing at him.

  “So are you saying it would be that easy?”

  “No, but if you have any doubts, I need you to be honest with me so I can move on.”

  Curtis slid out of the bed and walked over to the window. Then he looked back at her. “You know, I’m not sure where this is coming from, but I don’t need this right now.”

  “You don’t need what?”

  “I don’t need you questioning my integrity like this. I know I betrayed you in the past, but I can’t keep going over the same thing every time we’re together. We just made love like we never have before, and now you’ve ruined it.”

  “But it’s because of how good you just made me feel that I need to get an understanding from you. I need you to make a final commitment to me once and for all.”

  “Well, what exactly do you think I’ve been doing for the last few weeks? I’ve been lying to Mariah and being with you almost every other day, so whether you realize it or not, I’ve already made a commitment to you. But if you still don’t have faith in me, then maybe we need to go our separate ways.”