Sometimes Moments

by Len Webster

  She wanted a long bath to forget what a day she had. Jay’s betrayal stung, but she would get over it. He was not the friend she’d once known.

  After turning for the steps that led to her front door, Peyton stopped at the sight of Callum sitting on a step with a bundle of pink cherry blossoms in his hand.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  He stood up, a smile on his face. “I needed to see you, Peyton. Your message had me driving back.”

  “But Oliver’s—”

  “You’re what’s important to me right now. You have no idea how much your message hurt me. It made me realise how little time we have and I didn’t want to waste it. Oliver knows.”

  Peyton stepped in front of him and looked into those grey eyes she loved. No matter how much the ending would hurt her, she needed and missed him.

  “I meant that message,” she said.

  He nodded. “I know you do, Pey. But I would never find her. Not when she’s been here my entire life. If I could have forever with a wife, I’d want her to be you. No one could ever get me to fall hopelessly in love like you have.”

  Words that mask our timely death.

  “How long have you been waiting here?” she asked as she took the cherry blossoms from him.

  “An hour. I thought I’d surprise you.”

  “Are these from the tree?” she asked.

  He nodded with a smile.

  Peyton frowned at the beautiful flowers. Today had so many twists and turns and Callum’s surprised appearance had been one of them. But she couldn’t forget the fact that she had come between Madilynne and Graham and that Jay had terminated his business relationship with the hotel.

  “Callum,” she said, looking up to meet his eyes.

  “Yes, Peyton?”

  She swallowed hard before she asked, “Do you believe in the hotel and me?”

  His eyebrows met and his eyes filled with concern. “I’ve believed in you since we were kids. I’ve always believed that you would do great things for the hotel. I stand by this belief.”

  Her eyes started to water. Jenny was right. He did believe in her—unlike Jay. She quickly wrapped her arms around him, her head resting on his hard chest, and she let out a sob.

  “Thank you for coming back,” she cried as he circled his arms around her.

  “I was always going to come back for you, Peyton. I just needed time. I just needed you to be patient with me,” he said, rubbing her back.

  She held the cherry blossoms tighter in her hands as they rested against his back. This, she knew, was a sometimes moment. She knew that she would look back and smile on this memory. But she knew that imminent heartbreak was fast approaching them.

  “Being in your arms, after everything… This goes against everything I believe in when it comes to you,” she said. “I’m meant to hate you, but instead, I’m foolishly and hopelessly in love with you.”

  Callum held her tighter, like it was the last time he’d hold her. “I know, Peyton. Just know I’m sorry for what comes next. Only because I’m aware of how hard you’ve fought against me. You’ve defied your morals and beliefs…and your pride. I don’t deserve to have you in my arms, but I’m thankful to have you love me in the slightest. I’m so sorry for what happens next, Peyton. I am so sorry.”

  He was talking about their end. The thought broke her heart, but she had always known what she was doing when it came to him. She had to prepare for life after him all over again.

  I wouldn’t trade our sometimes for forever with anyone else.

  “Pey, wake up,” he whispered in her ear.

  She groaned and snuggled into something hard. A chuckle and movement occurred under her.

  “Come on, Peyton. Time to get up. We’ll miss it,” he tried once more.

  “Miss what?” she asked still half asleep, her eyes remained closed.

  “What we used to do. Sneak out and watch the morning pass us by from the pier.”

  Peyton slowly opened her eyes to see that the something hard she was sleeping on was Callum’s naked chest. She smiled at the sight she thoroughly enjoyed. Hugging the blanket around her naked body, she removed herself from his chest and glared down at him.

  “Really?” she asked biting back a smile.

  Callum sat properly and kissed her lips. “Yes. Now stay still. Do not move,” he instructed.

  Peyton arched an eyebrow at him. Callum smiled, reached over the bed, and rummage through the bag he’d brought over after dinner. Then he turned to face her, and Peyton noticed what he was held.

  She let out a laugh. “You still have that?”

  “Don’t knock the Polaroid,” he teased. “Now, stay right there. You look breathtakingly beautiful with the sun seeping through the window.”

  When she was just about to burst out laughing, a flash stunned her and a Polaroid picture slid out of the camera. Then Callum held it up to her, and she looked at it, astonished. She blinked twice. The Polaroid had captured a genuine smile that made her look beautiful. Even though her hair was all messy from sleep, she appeared happy and free.

  “That’s how I see you, Pey. You are undeniably beautiful when you smile.”

  Her heart swelled at his compliment and she knew she was blushing.

  After setting the picture down, she took the camera from Callum and held it up. Closing one eye and looking through the tiny glass box, she counted to three before she took a picture of him. Before he could take it away from her, she studied it.

  A lump formed in her throat as she asked, “Can I keep this?”

  Her eyes met Callum’s, and he tilted his head at her. She returned her focus to the picture she had taken of him. It was there—that smile and look in his eyes. She had the old Callum back, even if it were only in a picture. He was still there, the one who had claimed her heart and was free. She’d treasure this one picture since it was all she’d have of him by the end of the month.

  “Only if I can keep the one of you,” he countered.

  Peyton looked up and smiled. “You have a deal,” she said.

  Callum took the camera from her and brought her close to him. After a moment, he positioned the camera in the direction of their faces and took a picture of them. When she turned to face him, his lips found hers, and the sound of the shutter went off.

  “I was not ready for that!” Peyton complained once she pulled back.

  Callum had a pleased grin on his face as he held up the picture of them kissing. “You look pretty ready here.”

  Peyton stood up from the bed, dragging the blanket from him and leaving him exposed. “I can say the same thing about you,” she said, eyeing his lap.

  “Doesn’t help that I know you’re completely naked under that blanket,” he said, not bothering to cover himself. Then Callum turned and snapped a shot of the cherry blossoms on the bedside table.

  “Why are you taking so many pictures?” she asked as she walked to the bedroom door.

  “To reflect on,” he replied. Then he held the camera up, smiled, and took another one of her.

  “Do not come into the bathroom with that. I’m warning you, Callum. I would say come join me, but I really need us to get going so we can get to the pier. Otherwise, I’m going to be late for the Swan’s checking in,” Peyton said firmly to demonstrate her seriousness.

  If her were to even kiss her longer than with a quick chaste one, they’d wind up in bed. Last night, he’d taken away the pain. Lost in the pleasure, she’d forgotten Jay’s hurtful actions and the future of the hotel. All she’d cared about was keeping her with him for as long as time and Callum would permit her.

  “Meet you back here in thirty?” Callum asked, reaching for his discarded underwear and pants.

  Peyton’s eyes lingered below his waist. If she didn’t have to work, she’d jump him right then and there. Instead, she nodded and said, “Thirty.”

  His arm brought her closer to him, and Peyton rested her head on Callum’s shoulder. Peeking up at him through
her lashes, she saw him staring out at the lake. The sadness that swept his face had replaced the carefree one he’d had while they had been in bed. Something was always hanging over him. That same something had him guarded.

  With a deep breath, she turned her gaze back out at the water. She would always love Daylesford. All her favourite memories had happened in various parts of town, especially the ones that were made within the walls of The Spencer-Dayle. Peyton looked over at the hotel. It was beautiful. She would do everything in her power to keep it standing.

  “Graham messaged me this morning, Peyton. He said that Jay’s pub terminated their relationship with the hotel. He’s worried that Jay could affect the rest of the town.”

  The blame could be heard in his voice, but all she did was nod against him.

  “I still have Graham’s farm,” she said.

  Callum was silent for a moment before he sighed. “You lost the pub’s business relationship because of me, didn’t you?”

  Peyton sat up, lifted her legs from over the edge of the pier, and turned her body to face him. “It’s not your fault, Callum,” she tried to assure him.

  His eyes gave her the attention she wanted. Reaching over, she took his hand in hers and pulled him to face her.

  “It is not your fault,” she repeated.

  His posture slouched. “No, it is. You would have never seen that notice of termination if I had just stayed away. God, Pey, I never wanted this to happen to you or the hotel.”

  She smiled when he said Pey. Callum was becoming more comfortable around her. Squeezing his hand once, she grinned before she threaded her fingers with his, loving the feel of his touch. Peyton brought their joined hands to her lips and kissed the spot where their hands connected.

  “The hotel will be okay,” she said.

  “And what about you?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “And us?”

  She stilled at his question. Then she turned his wrist over and stared at where he had marked his skin with her name. Sometime after he’d left, he’d cared enough to tattoo her name on him. It gave her hope, but when she met his eyes, she saw the goodbye in them.

  “I’m not sure, Callum,” she answered truthfully.

  “You can’t be unsure,” he said softly.

  She gave him a tight smile. She didn’t know if they’d be okay when they got to goodbye. Deep down, she had been delusional and believed it would never catch them.

  “Sure I can. Just like how grey isn’t sure what colour it should be. If it should be black or white. So, it decides to be unsure. It decides to be grey. I am grey. We are grey.”

  She believed they weren’t sure how to get to goodbye. The moment they did, the future would blend with the past and the present. They had less than two weeks left.

  Callum’s mouth pressed into a fine line. “That’s a beautiful way to mask our ending, Peyton Spencer.”

  Letting go of his hand, she turned and let her legs dangle over the edge of the pier. She looked out at the lake, enjoying the purity in the image. “It gives me enough denial to make it to the ending, Callum Reid. I tell myself that we’ll be okay and part ways with a mutual understanding, but honestly, I’m not sure. There are no bright lights waiting for us at the end.”

  Softly swinging her legs above the water, she kept her eyes on her lap. The sound of a camera shutter had her turning her head and Callum held the Polaroid in his hand.

  “There are always bright lights waiting for you, Peyton. I know it.”

  She looked at the photo as it started to develop. Seconds later, she saw that it was an image of the hotel. Callum handed it to her and she clutched it, knowing that, no matter what happened, she would always have The Spencer-Dayle and all the memories that had been created in it and around it.

  “This is the brightest light that’s waiting for you. You don’t need any of them. You’re a survivor and you will be something great.”

  Her heart throbbed at his belief. Peyton turned and saw the way that he looked at her. Love. It was love that filled his eyes. A love so beautiful and unattainable. A love she couldn’t keep.

  “Want to go lie in the boats until I have to start work with Jenny?” she suggested once she stood up.

  Callum chuckled and picked up the camera and the pictures they had taken on their way to the pier. “Like old times?”

  She nodded her head. “Like old times.”

  It didn’t take them long to walk off the pier and around the lake to the boathouse. Once they stepped onto the wooden boardwalk that wrapped around the building, they made their way to the posts. Then Callum got into the wooden boat first and held his hand out to her before he helped her in

  They didn’t untie it from the post. Instead, they lay down and stared at the blue, cloudless sky above. It’s what they’d always done. They’d watch clouds and time pass them before she’d have to go home for dinner or get back to the hotel.

  It was a bittersweet moment, lost in the past and the present. Both so similar, but this time, she was aware of the end. Last time she had been oblivious to it. Ignoring their impending end, Peyton took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

  You were right, Mum and Dad. Forgive and forget. It’s time I let the past go, and soon—Callum too.

  When the boat rocked slightly, she opened her eyes to see that Callum had moved closer to her. Feeling his gaze on her, Peyton tilted her head and was met with his saddened eyes. The smile she had developing stalled and instead her lips made a fine line.

  Callum inhaled deeply before he blinked. Slowly, his hands reached up and brushed her cheek then it returned to the wood of the boat. The moment his touch left her, she had already missed the way it affected her heart.

  His lips parted before he asked, “Do you know what a sometimes moment is, Peyton?”

  We did it. We’re coming up to the ending.

  Peyton swallowed the lump in her throat. She’d heard him whisper it as she’d fallen asleep the first time he slept in her bed. She was scared to hear him define what she was basing their time on. She was scared to hear him admit that it wasn’t forever. But the truth was that she had always known.

  “It’s us,” she replied in a soft voice, knowing that he could hear the sadness lacing it.

  Callum gave her a tight smile. “In a way, we are sometimes moments. What we have right now embodies it. Sometimes moments are the moments you’ll look back on later in life and smile. They were points in time that were occasional and brief. They are a reflection of a memory. They are moments that are looked upon fondly. They are what we live and breathe and know as now but look back on someday. They are not forever, Peyton. They are reflections. They are the times you think of when you’re married and have children. You’ll think of me and smile because we had something in that tiny period of time we had together. That, when you have your forever, you will look back at the moments we shared. Even if it’s rarely, they were ours. They were our sometimes moments.”

  Sometimes doesn’t mean forever.

  “And is this a sometimes moment, Callum?” she asked.

  Callum nodded. “Every moment we’ve experienced since I returned to Daylesford has been a sometimes moment, Peyton. Memories that I hope you’ll look back on one day.”

  She thought of the times they’d shared the past few weeks. Every kiss, every touch, every breath of air and ‘I love you.’ They were more than she could have believed she’d share with anyone. She hadn’t imagined being close to anyone after him. Peyton had believed that she’d live a lonely life, wondering what life’s pleasures were about. But he’d come back and restored her faith in a better, happier life—even with the pain.

  Callum’s thumb brushed her tear away and he kissed her lips. “Thank you for our sometimes moments, Peyton. I will hold on to them for far longer than my last breath.” Then he pulled her into his arms.

  She lay her head on his chest and looked up at the sky. The moments they had shared, although brief, were treasured. They wer
e moments where she believed that he was hers and that she was loved.

  She breathed him in and memorised the beats of his heart. She took in her surroundings and the man who held her. Then she closed her eyes and let every sound and movement Callum made sear themselves into her heart.

  Life is a cluster of sometimes moments, more beautiful when more are grouped together. Our sometimes moments will be my forever moments. There is no one else after Callum Reid, the boy who kissed me under a cherry blossom tree and the man who gave me a forever in a sometimes.

  “You finally made it,” Callum said once Peyton had walked up the small hill.

  She stood next to him and said, “I had to wait for my parents to leave, and Jenny’s covering for me.”

  Callum wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted you to be here when it happens.”

  Peyton squinted up at him. “When what happens?” she asked, slightly suspicious.

  He rolled his eyes before untangling himself from her. Then he picked up his SLR camera and adjusted the lens. “Look out at the lake, Pey.”

  When she looked in the direction that he’d suggested, the view took her breath away. It was beautiful. The setting sun filled the sky with purples and reds, and the water sparkled before her eyes. She had never seen the lake look more beautiful than in this moment.

  The sounds of the camera shutter had her turning her head. She watched the awed expression on Callum’s face transform as he looked at the photo on the screen. He saw the beauty. He saw the innocence of nature. And Peyton saw that in him. Her heart throbbed at the sight of him taking in the view. The way he appreciated life had her envious of his perspective on the world, and a slow smile developed on his face.

  When he turned and his eyes met hers, the sparkle in them made her breathless. And it was in that moment that she knew what she had always known deep down.

  I’m in love with Callum Reid.

  “Pey, wake up.”