Merman's Forever

by Dee J. Stone

  A few seconds later, I hear two sets of footsteps headed for my room. The next thing I know, the blanket is once again off my face and two worried faces are staring down at me.

  “I’m cold.” I fold into the fetal position.

  “What’s going on, Cassie?” Mom demands. “Uncle Jim told me you canceled class yesterday and this morning, too. I couldn’t get hold of you the past two days.”

  “You’ve been ignoring my texts and calls, too,” Leah says.

  I squeeze my eyes shut.

  The bed sinks as Leah sits down near me. “Does this have anything to do with what you told me?”

  “What did she tell you?” Mom asks as she sits down on the other side of my bed.

  I wish they’d leave. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to lie here all day and dream that the world is perfect and that my life with Damarian is perfect and that we can have a perfect future together.

  “Um,” Leah says. “I think Cassie should be the one to tell you.”

  “Cassie.” Mom rubs my shoulder. “Are you feeling okay, honey?”

  I shake my head.

  “Is it…is it because of the mermaid thing? I told you I don’t like the whole idea of—”

  “You don’t have to worry.” I clutch the side of the mattress. “Because I won’t be turning into a mermaid anymore.”

  The silence is so thick I feel it on my skin.

  “W…what?” Leah asks, her voice beyond bewildered.

  I slowly sit up and push my hair out of my eyes. “I told you I couldn’t feel him, right, Leah?”

  She nods.

  “It turns out you were right. There is a reason for it. Though it defies logic.”

  “Can someone please tell me what you’re talking about?” Mom asks.

  I tell her what I told Leah two days ago. When I’m done, she looks confused, worried, and alarmed.

  “It’s because of coral,” I say. “I rubbed my arm against it when we were in the ocean and cut myself. Damarian’s grandfather heard tales of this species of coral, but he thought they were a myth. Just like everything else.”

  “And what exactly did this coral do to you?” Mom asks, the same emotions still present all over her face.

  “It’s called the Lovers’ Tear. Because it’s tearing away at our bond.”

  Leah’s jaw nearly sweeps the floor.

  I tell them everything Damarian and I discussed two nights ago. Like I expect, they look overly worried confused, and not sure what to believe.

  I drop back on my bed and cover my face. “I’m sorry for ignoring you and I’m sorry for being so irresponsible with my job, but I can’t…you have no idea what it’s like.” My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath. “I don’t feel him anymore. I don’t feel the strong connection we’ve had since we mated for the first time. It’s something I can’t describe, but it’s like a whole part of me is missing. Like I only have half a soul. I don’t know if I can be normal again.”

  Mom lies down near me and pulls me to her chest. “It’s okay, honey. I don’t think I can ever understand what you’re going through, but you don’t have to do this alone.”

  “Your mom’s right,” Leah says. “We’re here for you.”

  I lower my hand from my face. “Thanks. I just don’t want to worry you, Mom. And I don’t want to discuss my bond with you, Leah. I feel like a jerk every time I talk about my love life problems. I really have felt alone these past two days.”

  She slides her hand into mine. “Hey, I told you a million times that you can talk to me about whatever you want. I really don’t mind.”

  “And while I am constantly worrying about you, honey, I don’t want you to shut me out.”

  I give her a small smile. “Thanks, Mom, but there are some things I can only talk about with a best friend.”

  She frowns. “Don’t I know it.” She sits up and rubs my thigh. “Have you been in bed all this time?”

  I give her a sheepish nod.

  “Damarian wouldn’t want you to wallow like this,” Leah says.

  She right, but I don’t think I can do anything until I know Damarian’s found a cure.

  Mom glances at her watch. “I need to get back to work. But we should meet up after. We’ll find things to do to take your mind off things. If you’re up for it.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “I take it back. I’m forcing you to hang out with me whether you like it or not.”

  That gets her another small smile. “Okay.”

  She kisses my forehead. “Please eat something.” She nods to Leah. “Make sure she does.”

  “Aye, aye, Captain.” She salutes.

  Mom waves before leaving.

  Leah leans back against the wall. “So now I’m ready to hear the version your mom can’t know.”

  I hug my knees to my chest. “I told her everything there is to it.”

  “But?”

  I sigh. “If Damarian doesn’t find a cure and we’ll no longer be bonded, we can never be bonded again. So if he and I were to…mate, Damarian thinks I’d die.”

  Her eyes pop open. “What the heck?”

  I shrug. “The ocean is so fantastic, so mystical. There are plants that can heal wounds, fish that can turn my body into lights and help me survive in the deep ocean. And apparently there are kinds of coral that can sever a bond between mates. We can’t question anything anymore. Just accept it.”

  “But you can’t accept this, Cassie. You need to fight.”

  “Fight? How? Damarian is in the ocean looking for a cure and I’m just sitting here. I wish I could do something. I feel so helpless.”

  “But what can you do?” she asks.

  I shake my head. “Nothing but fantasize about the life I want to have.”

  She wraps her arm around me.

  “And another thing? We might have to cancel the wedding.”

  Her arm slips from my shoulder.

  “That’s another thing I didn’t want to tell my mom.”

  Leah whistles. “This is all too intense.”

  I nod. “Now I understand why you’re so hesitant to be with Kyle.”

  She plays with my blanket. “I’ll admit that everything that’s happened to you and Damarian since the moment you met was hard and you’ve been through so much. I can’t imagine going through all that. But look at what you’ve gained. You have a man who loves you in a way I’ve never seen a man love a woman. You have such a strong connection—”

  “That’s dwindling as the hours go by—”

  “—and you understand each other in a way that’s beyond normal. You’ve gained a new family and a new life in the ocean. You’re so lucky, Cassie.”

  Tears break through and roll down my cheeks. “I don’t think I’m lucky. I just want to be happy. Why do things always seem to get in the way of my happiness?”

  She hugs me. “I want to tell you that everything will be okay, but I know you’ll bite my head off.”

  I laugh lightly. “You’re right. I want everyone to stop telling me it’ll all be okay. I just want our bond to be restored.”

  “Let’s get out of here and do something fun.”

  I pull out of my arms. “Like what?”

  “Not sure, but I’m not going to let you lie in bed all day. My mission is to get you to smile by tonight.”

  I frown. “You’re a force to be reckoned with when you’re on a mission.”

  She leaps off my chair and heads to my closet. After rummaging around for a few seconds, she pulls out a light pink shirt and jeans. “Put these on. You and I are going to see a movie and then we’ll meet your mom at the pizza shop and then we’ll shop until our toes fall off.”

  “Sounds painful.”

  She yanks on my hand. “Sounds fun! When was the last time the three of us did something together?”

  She has a point. Damarian has always been with us. Is this a preview of how my life would be like now? No, Damarian?

  “What?” Leah asks when
fresh tears drip down my face. “Did I say something wrong?”

  I shake my head. “No, I just hope this isn’t what my life would be like from now on.”

  She gathers me in her arms. “It won’t be. I may have lost faith in certain things, but I’ll never lose hope in you guys. You are meant to be, no matter what.”

  Squeezing her to my chest, I say, “You’re the most awesome friend in the whole world. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  I can feel her grin capturing her whole face. “I know.”

  ***

  Waiting for Damarian near the rocks has become a habit. I don’t want it to be a habit. I won’t be able to bear if it continued to be this way. Though if we lose the bond and are severed forever…no, I can’t think like this. Like Mom and Leah told me this afternoon as they tried to cheer me up, I need to stay positive. I need to believe in my happily ever after.

  I glance down at the sapphire-colored bracelets on my arm. I caught sight of them in a window of a small shop Leah and I passed on our way to the theater. I hug the hand to my chest, feeling the bracelets rub against my shirt. They will forever be a symbol of our love. If Damarian has found a cure, they will be a reminder that no matter what obstacle is thrown in our way, our love will prevail. If he hasn’t found a cure…well, at least we’ll have something to remember each other by.

  Some of my tears drip into the sand. Maybe they, and my surfing, are the only ways I’ll be connected to the ocean from now on.

  Lying down on the sand, I stare at the beautiful sky. The stars twinkle at me, like they, too, are assuring me that everything will work out. A promise from the universe? Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

  “I am here, Cassie! But where are you?”

  I jerk up at the sound of his voice.

  “Yes, I have located you!”

  I squint at the waves and find him swimming to the shore. Like the other times, I race to meet him and throw myself toward his arms. But as my body soars through the air, I smack into what feels like a wall and am propelled backward. I’m sailing at such a fast speed and hit the ground hard, skidding across the sand. My entire left side stings. When I glance down, I see a patch of peeled skin near my knee.

  “Cassie, are you all right?” Damarian asks, from where he is near the tide.

  I hiss as it burns. “I’m fine. What happened?”

  “I do not know. Are you certain you are all right?” His eyes widen when he sees my knee. “I am so sorry, my love.”

  I get up and limp toward him. “Don’t worry about it. Let me help you onto the sand.”

  When I reach for his hands, I am once again thrown back. This time, the force isn’t so strong, and I just cough when I land on my back.

  I carefully sit up and stare at Damarian. He’s starting at me, totally baffled. I slowly crawl closer to him, making sure not to scrape my wound on the sand. When I’m only a few feet away, I lift my hand and touch the space before me. It’s like there’s a brick wall there.

  Damarian raises his hand, too. Our palms face each other, about a foot away. When I push at it, the wall pushes back, once again knocking me down.

  “We…can’t go near each other,” I say.

  Damarian bangs his fists on the wall. He, too, gets tossed backward. He sits back up and does it again.

  “Damarian, you’ll get hurt.”

  “I refuse to allow anything to keep me from you.” More bangs. More tosses. And is that blood on his knuckles?

  “Please stop,” I beg. “You’re only getting hurt.”

  “Perhaps I need to get out of the sea.” He rolls onto the sand, his entire body no longer in the water. He’s about to reach for me, but then he grabs hold of his neck and falls limply on the ground, making those crying whale noises I have come to dread.

  “Damarian!” I dash to drop by his side, but the invisible wall flings me away. I land on my stomach, some sand falling into my mouth.

  “I…do not understand,” Damarian wails weakly. “I have…only just left…the sea. I should…not be getting ill.”

  As I watch him writhe in agony, I know exactly what’s going on. “It’s because…” I swallow back the tears coming to the surface. “It’s because you can’t come on land anymore. We can’t get within a foot of each other. The poison is not letting us have any chance of being together.”

  Scratching the sides of his neck and moaning as he rolls back and forth, he mutters, “That is not so. I refuse to believe this.” Then he cries out.

  “Please, Damarian! You need to be in the ocean. I have no idea how long you’ll have until…” The tears spill over. “Just please get back in the water.” If not for this damn wall, I’d be yanking and tugging on him until his entire body was submerged in the ocean.

  “Does this mean…you will no longer be able to enter the sea?”

  Despite the complete terror filling every cell in my body, warmth overtakes me. Here Damarian is, in extreme pain, and all he’s thinking about is me, how much I love the ocean and how devastated I’d be if I couldn’t surf or swim again.

  “Damarian!” He’s as still as a dead fish.

  I push at the wall, but it pushes back with twice the power. This time, my arm receives its wrath, but I have no time to pay attention to a new wound.

  “Damarian, please get up!” If not for his weak groans, I’d think he was gone. I probably only have minutes.

  Taking a deep breath, I race toward the rocks and dive into the water. I wait to be thrown back by another invisible wall, but that doesn’t happen. I kick my arms and legs as fast as I could, toward the spot on the shore where Damarian is. My limbs are burning and feel like they’re about to fall off, but I push forward. I don’t think I’ve ever swam this fast before.

  Stopping about a foot away from him in the ocean, I see his skin has gotten very peachy. I’m not paying attention to the fact that my lungs are about to burst and I can’t breathe. Using every last bit of energy I have, I thrust my arms forward, spraying Damarian with ocean water. Damarian springs upward, like his batteries just got recharged.

  “Cassie?” he asks as he looks around.

  “In here,” I tell him. “I’m going to swim away so you can come into the ocean. Please hurry.”

  I dive underneath and kick my arms and legs, but I’m so weak I can hardly move. I sink toward the ocean floor. The water here is shallow, but I have no energy to stand on my feet. My back hits the sand.

  “Cassie!” Damarian calls. “Cassie!”

  He sounds like he’s on another planet. My head is getting fuzzy and my vision spotty. This is it. After everything Damarian and I have been through, after fighting time and time again to be together, we’ve lost. My eyes flutter shut.

  Something sweeps me off the ground. A second later, oxygen enters my lungs. I open my eyes and find myself hanging over a gray object. It takes a second for me to realize it’s a shark.

  “Fiske,” I mutter, taking in large gulps of air.

  “He has felt my distress and swam here immediately,” Damarian calls. I hope he’s back in the ocean. I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. “Take in air, my love,” he continues. “Fiske will support you for as long as you need.”

  With my eyes still closed, I focus on getting my breathing under control. My body’s begging me to sleep, but I force myself to stay awake. After a short while, I feel much better and open my eyes.

  “Fiske.” I rub his skin. “Thanks so much.”

  I can’t communicate with him, but feel him nod. I’m about to slide off, but he stops me.

  “Fiske wishes for you to gain more strength before he releases you,” Damarian tells me.

  “Thanks so much.” I press my fingers to my lips, then to his skin. “I love you, Fiske.”

  I feel him nod again.

  “Shoney must have felt I was in trouble, too. Is she on her way?”

  Fiske’s body goes completely still.

  I lift my head. Damarian is on the side, most of his
body in the water. I can’t see his expression that well, due to the distance and the dark, but he looks apologetic.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Fiske informed me that Shoney stated to him earlier today that she does not sense you any longer. I am truly sorry, my love.”

  My head falls back on Fiske. Of course. I should have anticipated that.

  When my breathing has regulated, Fiske gently slides me off his back. I find a small boulder and sit on it, hugging my knees to my chest. Damarian floats a foot away, with Fiske close by.

  “I have never felt such fear in my life,” he says, raising his hand like he wants to stroke my cheek. “When I first saw you plummeting to the sea floor twenty-four moons past, I was overtaken by a terror I had not felt before. I was quick to help you and refused to leave until I was certain you were all right. But now? I have never felt so helpless before. It is a terror that is beyond anything I could have imagined.”

  I rest my cheek on my knee. “I never felt so helpless, either. Seeing you on the sand, crying out on pain, without being able to help you.” I sniff into my knees. “I don’t want to ever feel that again.”

  “Perhaps you will no longer have to experience that, my love.”

  I lift my head. “You found a cure?” Hope sparks inside me, but it dies down when I see the uncertainty in his eyes. “You didn’t?”

  “Flora knows of a plant that may be able to help us. I believe you are familiar with it as well.”

  “Are you talking about the Orja plant? The one your father and I searched for to heal you and Kiander after you were captured by the rebels?”

  “Yes. And I am sure you are aware of how it works.”

  “From what I remember, the plant only reveals itself to someone who is in dire need of it. Or to someone who is close to that person.” Hope sparks inside me. “So we can get healed now.”

  He shakes his head. “You forget, my love, that we are no longer completely bonded. It cannot transfer from me to you like the poison did.”

  “But you can get it for me, can’t you?”

  He shakes his head again. “It will most likely not reveal itself to me for the same reason. We are not completely bonded.”

  All my hope deflates.

  “But there still may be hope. Palaemon believes the Orja plant grows on land as well. He believes both the plant in the sea and the one on land are needed to cure us. Since I am of the sea and you are of land.”