Away From the Spotlight

by Tamara Carlisle

  Will returned at that moment, looking gorgeous as ever like the movie star he was. How it didn’t occur to me when we met that he was a movie star, I’ll never know because it was so obvious.

  We drove up into the Hollywood Hills to the party and I started to feel a little sick to my stomach with nerves. I must have looked a little green because Will grabbed my hand and squeezed it, saying, “You’ll be fine.”

  “I don’t feel fine.”

  When we got out of the car, Will pulled me aside and kissed me, obviously trying to counteract my nervousness. It worked until we walked inside the beautiful 1920’s Spanish-style two-story home to find among the fifty or so guests a number of people I recognized, but had never met. Will held my hand tightly.

  I first met Taylor’s girlfriend, Irina, as she greeted us at the door. Irina looked very Nordic or Russian, with exotic facial features and platinum blond hair. Despite her beauty, she was rail thin with no figure whatsoever, almost like a young girl. Seeing her actually made me feel a little better. Considering Will’s appreciation of my curves, I realized that he would not have found her the least bit attractive.

  Irina informed the crowd that a friend was going to blindfold Taylor and bring him home after taking him out for a birthday drink. She would let everyone know when he was on his way home.

  After Irina’s speech, Katherine walked across the large living room to greet us. Mark stayed where he was to finish the conversation in which he was engaged. Katherine kissed Will on the cheek and hugged me.

  “It’s so nice to see you again. I’m glad you’re here. Let’s go get you both something to drink.”

  Katherine led us to a makeshift bar set up in the kitchen. As we made our way there, I thought I heard whispers along the lines of, “That’s Will’s new girlfriend,” “I hear they’re living together now,” and “I hear she’s a lawyer.” I really didn’t want to be the topic of conversation tonight.

  Katherine must have noticed it too. She looked at me and said, “Don’t worry. Once you meet everyone, the gossip will stop.”

  “I hope so.” I looked down, embarrassed and nervous.

  Will looked at me sympathetically when I looked up, and squeezed my hand. He seemed to have no intention of letting go of me, using only one hand to pour both of us glasses of wine. I looked at the food on a nearby table and chuckled under my breath when I noticed that there were some fattening items along with the low carb and low calorie choices, thinking about what Stephen had suggested I do.

  When we returned to the living room where most of the party guests had congregated, Mark joined us.

  “You look beautiful,” he said to me as he greeted me.

  “Doesn’t she?” Katherine added. “You sure you don’t want to be an actress? You probably could if you wanted.”

  “No. I don’t think I could. I don’t have the talent and I wouldn’t like having to get up in front of people to do that.”

  “Won’t you have to get up in front of people and do a little acting when you go to trial?”

  “That’s different.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t have to pretend to be someone or something I’m not. I just have to believe in my case.”

  “But sometimes you won’t believe in your client, right?”

  “Well, I’ll do defense work mostly. In my limited experience so far, even when clients have done something technically wrong, they deserve a good defense. Plaintiffs can sometimes be greedy and try to take advantage of the situation. If that weren’t so, more cases would settle before litigation really gets going. So I’ll still believe in my case.”

  “Interesting. I would like to see you in court sometime. Can I?”

  “It will be at least a few months, but sure. You’ll have to come in disguise though. The judge wouldn’t be happy if your presence disrupted the proceedings.”

  “No problem. When I need to, I can blend in.”

  I find that hard to believe.

  Kayla Roberts joined us next. I had seen her from the corner of my eye and thought I saw her struggling with whether or not she should come over and say, “Hello,” before she finally did. She looked wistful as she kissed Will on the cheek. Katherine introduced me, but did not expressly state that I was Will’s girlfriend. I guessed that she was trying to be kind to Kayla. Kayla looked down and noticed that Will was holding my hand.

  “It’s nice to meet you finally. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said as she eyed me intently.

  Will fidgeted a little as if that made him uncomfortable. I had been told before that he had tried not to talk openly about me in front of her to spare her feelings. I assumed he realized that it was to no avail as everyone had been gossiping behind his back. He probably didn’t like that.

  Although there appeared to be no resemblance at all between Kayla and me whatsoever either physically or in terms of personality, I knew what Will had seen in her. She seemed very bubbly and open, and I could see that she must have cheered him when he was at a low point in his life. She had kind of a rasp in her voice though, like someone who smoked often, and probably not just cigarettes.

  I had no idea what to say to her, so I just replied, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

  We then were interrupted by Irina, who informed everyone that Taylor would arrive in about five minutes. I was relieved that the awkward conversation with Kayla wouldn’t continue.

  When Taylor arrived, he appeared genuinely surprised. It was clear, though, that he had not been out for one birthday drink, but a number of them. He consequently was a little goofy when I was introduced. He slapped Will on the back and said not so quietly in his ear, “Nice.”

  I pretended not to hear.

  Will and I wandered around and I met a number of his other cast-mates and their dates or significant others. Seemingly no longer worried about sparing Kayla’s feelings as she was no doubt fully aware of the extent of our relationship, he became more openly affectionate, just as he was when we were with other friends like Stephen and Colin.

  Will clearly was familiar with Taylor’s home because, at one point, he pulled me into a downstairs study and closed the door so that he could kiss me in private.

  “I’ve wanted to do this all evening. I take that back. I want to do this all the time, but I have been particularly dying to do this all evening.”

  Before it got too involved, we stopped so that we could return to the party. We walked out of the study and almost ran into Taylor, who chuckled, and said again, “Nice,” as he stumbled by.

  We both laughed in response and rejoined the party. I left again almost immediately in search of a restroom.

  Katherine cornered me on the way, “Having fun?”

  “Yes. It’s nice to meet some of the people I’ve only heard about.”

  “They’ve been anxious to meet you too, I think. You’re all Will talked about when we were on the road for Midnight 3 - well, except when Kayla was within hearing range. He had pictures on his laptop, his phone, and he kept leaving us to call or text you. So, of course, they wanted to see tonight what all the fuss was about - who could have made Will fall head over heels in love. You don’t disappoint. You two seem perfectly matched. I’m happy for you. Just make sure I get to come to the wedding.”

  I am sure my eyes got as big as saucers when she said that. “We’ve only been dating a few months.”

  “I know, but you’re done for, both of you. It won’t be long now before you end up engaged. I know him well. I can tell.”

  I stammered, “You’ll have to excuse me. I have to go to the restroom now.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. Just a little stunned and I have to go to the bathroom anyway.”

  “Don’t tell Will what I said. He would kill me if he knew I upset you.”

  “You didn’t upset me. I just hadn’t thought about that, that’s all.”

  I walked away, a little unsteady on my feet, entered the bathroom and splashed a little cool water on
my face. Married. I was twenty-four and had just gotten out of school. I hadn’t even started my career yet. It’s not that I hadn’t thought about marrying Will. I had. I just saw it as something that might happen in the far distant future. Katherine was talking like it would occur in the very near future.

  I then realized that Will was too much of a planner like me. He wouldn’t just spring something like a proposal on me. That thought made me feel better as there had been no indication that he was planning anything like that. I finally calmed down enough to leave the bathroom.

  I returned to the living room to find Will surrounded by women. And he gives me a hard time about men surrounding me! I had not met everyone at the party, but knew that there were a number of friends of Taylor and Irina’s here that were single and a number that were not in the film industry. I could tell from Will’s expression that these women were fans and had been fawning over him. His expression was a patient, but embarrassed, look that was obvious to me, but probably not to others. Will saw me enter the room, politely excused himself, strode up to me and kissed me as if to tell those women that he was taken. He held me tightly for the rest of the evening.

  Toward the end of the evening, we sat together on the sofa. I was pressed up against his side and his arm was around me. People came to us to talk from that point forward. I looked around and found it interesting that there were three stars here around which everyone else orbited: Taylor, and probably only because it was his party; then Katherine; and, finally, Will. It reminded me in a way of my workplace. Everyone tended to orbit around the senior partners of my firm, even in social settings. In Will’s line of work, he and Katherine, as the leads, were the equivalents of the senior partners.

  I was enjoying people-watching. I was able to see how people behaved toward Will and how he treated others in this setting. I observed that even those in his own industry fawned over him a little, though not nearly to the extent that fans did. I also noticed that Will, in response, was very self-effacing, trying to show that he was nothing special and to make everyone feel comfortable around him. It was part of what made him special. He was such a big star and there wasn’t an egotistical bone in his body. Before this night, I didn’t think I could love him more. I was wrong because, before tonight, I really didn’t know him completely.

  As we drove home from the party, I said, “I’m glad I came.”

  “I am too. I hope you weren’t too uncomfortable.”

  “I was at the beginning when I could hear everyone whispering, but it got better. I ended up having a great time. I loved seeing you in your element.”

  “That’s not my element.”

  “You know what I mean. I already know why I love you, but now I see why everyone in your industry does too. I even got to see you with real fans for more than a few seconds of screaming and pictures with camera phones. You really are great with everyone. I was very proud.”

  “I was proud of you too. You were impressive as always.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far. I don’t think I said much all evening.”

  “Sure you did. You sure impressed Katherine and Mark when you were talking about your work. You were gracious to Kayla, more so than I’ve ever been when it comes to John. You seemed to take everything in stride: the gossiping, Kayla, the fans, Taylor, everything. That’s not to mention that you were the most beautiful woman in the room.”

  “Oh, let’s not go there, please?”

  “You really are going to have to learn to take a compliment, especially when it’s true.”

  “I felt like I was twice the size of every woman in that room. If I hadn’t felt like that, I might have followed Stephen’s suggestion.”

  “What was that?”

  “He told me that I could make all the actresses in the room jealous by finding the most fattening thing there to eat and eating it in front of them.”

  Will busted up laughing. “I wish you had. That would have been classic.” When he stopped laughing, and it took a little while, he added, “You know you really shouldn’t compare yourself unfavorably to them. You should feel sorry for them. Our industry makes them like that. People get obsessive about their appearance because it’s their livelihood. No matter how good you look, you get criticized for something. Gaining weight can cause problems with wardrobe, continuity in a shoot, and other things. That’s not to mention the tabloid scrutiny. Some poor waif gains a few pounds and she’s either pregnant or fat. It’s ridiculous. Besides, by real world standards, you’re slender. Anyway, I certainly have no interest in a girlfriend who’s just skin and bones. Ugh! So don’t worry about it.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Funny. You know I would never dream of giving you an order. I take that back. I’m giving you an order. Learn to take a compliment about your appearance, will you?”

  “It will take getting used to.”

  “Get used to it then.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  After Taylor’s party, the time seemed to pass faster as the Bar Exam date loomed closer, picking up speed when my main Bar review course ended about two weeks before the Bar Exam. It was then time for my three-day intensive review course for the multistate portion of the Bar Exam. I tried not to stress out too much when I realized that there could be questions on such arcane subjects as riparian rights. When I returned home at night after these three all-day classes, Will helped me to relax.

  When that three-day course finished, I studied almost constantly, but for sleep, meals, and relaxation breaks mandated by Will.

  Three days before the Bar Exam, Will had to leave for England to take care of some business before I joined him there. The plan was that we would be together there for almost a week after the Bar Exam. After that, while I traveled with Pam, he would remain in London to shoot a supporting role in the British film, All Castles Are Grey. I would rejoin him in London for a few days after my travels and, then, he and I would return to L.A. together over Labor Day Weekend.

  I must have looked even more disconsolate than I had in the past when he left me. I realized that our perfect summer was over. I would be without him for the next week and for most of my trip with Pam. When I returned from Europe, it would be back to reality. I would be living on my own again and would be putting in long hours at work. Will would be either busy or gone shooting Midnight 4 not long thereafter. I overflowed with tears as we said our goodbyes.

  Will held me and stroked my hair. “Shhh. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to do well on the exam and then you and I will be together in London. I’ll be waiting for you at Heathrow. I have plans for us. I love you more than anything.”

  He pulled away, kissed me, and was off to the waiting car outside.

  Depending upon their work schedules, some combination of Stephen, Colin, Kate and Gemma, took over Will’s duties to provide stress relief for me. There was a certain type of relief they couldn’t provide, but other than that, they were great to me. I received more carousel roses the day after Will left. The gang planned meals, night swims, relaxing in the Jacuzzi, and provided comic relief to overcome my increasing anxiety as the exam date neared. I tried to get to bed relatively early each night to ensure that I was well-rested for the exam.

  Will checked in with me regularly via text message and phone to make sure I was okay.

  When it was time to leave for the exam the night before it commenced, I felt that I had done the best I could do to prepare, both mentally and physically.

  The security guard drove me to my car in Santa Monica and I was off to meet Carrie at a hotel situated around the corner from the Pasadena Convention Center, one of the Southern California sites for the California Bar Exam. Carrie and I chose Pasadena because we were told it was a mellower crowd than some of the other L.A. area locations.

  The Bar Exam in California is administered over the course of three full days. Two of those days consist of essay and performance exams and one consists of the very difficult multistate multiple choice portion. The Bar Exam is
an endurance test and probably one of the most stressful things that anyone could imagine. I had heard horror stories about the people vomiting during the exam, causing a smell that made it difficult to concentrate. I was grateful when nothing like that happened.

  There was a good-sized contingent from USC at the Pasadena site and we all went out for dinner after the first and second days of the exam with the promise that the subject of the exam was strictly off-limits. Carrie unintentionally provided comic relief as she insisted on studying fully-dressed in the empty bathtub each night when we got home from dinner.

  When the exam was over, I really hoped that I had passed because I never ever wanted to go through something like that again.

  I then drove to Rachael’s apartment in Hollywood to leave my car in her extra parking space during my trip. I called her on my way over to warn her I was coming and she had a glass of cider waiting for me when I arrived. We laughed and danced while she played some very loud music that we both liked from the Royalist jukebox. It always cracked me up how she would snap her fingers using her ring finger rather than her middle finger.

  After a short visit, I called the house to ask if I needed to do the security guard routine to get home. Gemma informed me that they were paparazzi-free and had been since Will left for London. Rachael agreed to drive me there since she intended to meet up with a friend on that side of town anyway. She wasn’t much of an actress so I knew that something was up.

  I arrived to find that a celebration had been planned for me. Rachael appeared not at all surprised. The security guards at the front door ensured that no one who shouldn’t be there got inside.

  The house was crowded as was the backyard. Most of the gang from the concert was there, along with some of the guys from the Rugby Club, and a good number of my friends from college and law school. Even Max, Daniel and John were there. Only one person was missing: the most important one. When I walked in the front door to shouts of “Surprise,” I was handed the phone. It was Will. It must have been just after four in the morning in London.